The next few weeks were a blur. I was the happiest I had ever been because I had gotten my life back on the right path. Everyday, I fell more in love with Adrienne. We spent countless hours together. Her aunt and uncle loved to have me around their apartment, and I had gained ten pounds from her aunt's home cooking. The Northside enjoyed Adrienne's company as well, and she would spend her evenings after school hanging with the guys.

Cayden sent runners from south to the Northside with the message that he was waiting for me to return. He expected me to be a loyal Southside brother, but Cayden lost me the day he threatened to use Adrienne in his revenge game. I warned him I would chose Adrienne over the Southside without hesitation, and the more time I spent with her, the easier that decision was becoming.

Over the past few weeks, I had met with the principle and the school board multiple times to discuss my truancy. They were threatening to fail me out of school, but I was determined to finish. With some luck and good negotiating skills, I convinced them to allow me to take online classes to complete the school year. They even provided me with a computer, and somehow; Cam set up Wifi at the Blood's apartment.

Since I had been staying with the Northside, Cam requested my presence at every handoff. I wasn't a true brother of the Northside, but I was gaining respect in the gang.

I witnessed my first drop gone wrong the other night when a group of guys from outside the city showed up, thinking they could jump Cam. They tried to take the merchandise and money, but their leader's pistol locked up. The Northside took them out with the power of their submachine guns, layering bullet after bullet into them until there was one survivor. Cam carved an 'X' into his arm before telling him to take that as warning back to his city.

During my time in the north, I also witnessed many deals that went right. The power of the Northside was undeniable, and seeing their inner-workings first hand brought about the realization of how inferior the Southside had become. The Northside owned the black market in Chicago, and their clientele was diverse. They strived to be untouchable by any other entity in the city. The Blood had people on the inside at the police department who they paid to keep quiet, which contributed to their success with smuggling merchandise from the cartels in Mexico.

Cam had his hand on the heart of the city. His gang controlled whether it sank to chaos or rose to success, and I was lucky to be on his side.

Tonight, Cam planned on initiating a new member who was sent from the cartel in Mexico. They sent him to Cam as a symbol of good status, and in return, Cam sent them a fresh shipment of colt-45 pistols.

The new guy had a thick body that towered over the rest of the guys in the Northside. His hands were scarred from years of hard labor, and his colorful tattoos jumped off his tanned, leathery skin. His dark, greasy hair was slicked back to his head which allowed a clear view of the three teardrops imprinted beneath his left eye. The cartel was known to be ruthless, and the teardrops signaled he was a killer. His brown eyes stared straight ahead as he took a seat in the middle of the room.

The Northside initiation intrigued me, but I never wanted to be in the way; therefore, I stood in the back of the dark basement. My eyes watched the exchange between Cam and the new guy as I leaned against the hard wall.

Cam pushed the sleeve on his left forearm up, revealing the array of cuts he gained during his reign in the Northside. He dragged the dark, jagged blade down his arm, reopening the wound without even a flinch.

He had spent years sharing his blood with his brothers, and it had become so easy for him. I clenched my fist and glanced down at my forearm, watching the veins beneath my skin.

I wanted to be as strong as Cam.

My eyes flashed back to the scene in front of me.

Cam's blood oozed from the cut, running down his dark skin, and dripping onto the floor. He turned his attention to the new guy in the circle with him.

"Julio. After this cut, I will welcome you to a brotherhood. One that stands together and fights together. Your loyalty will be unyielding, or you will pay the ultimate price. Onto you, I give the gift of the blood of the north. The blood of those who came before us. It is what unites us. It will solidify our ties to our distant brothers in Mexico," he called out.

Julio was still like a statue and he didn't acknowledge Cam's words. He simply tightened his left fist as he awaited the cut. Cam pushed the blade against Julio's skin, dragging it with a quick, sharp motion. After he finished, he stepped back, and Julio glanced up at him.

"Thank you, my brother. It will be an honor to serve your brotherhood," he said with a tight, thick accent.

Cam bowed his head to him as Ace entered the circle with a branding iron. Ace looked at Julio who presented his arm to him, and he dragged the scorching hot iron along the scar on his arm.

Julio winced in pain this time, gritting his teeth before howling out as Ace sealed up the wound. Meanwhile, Cam wiped the blood off the dark blade with a small towel as he pushed out of the circle.

He stopped at the table in the corner of the room which held the glass case that housed the knife. He ran his hand along the knife before letting out a deep breath.

I watched him from my spot in the back of the room before deciding to approach him.

"You good?" I asked, stuffing my hands in my pockets as I walked over.

He glanced at me and his dark eyes landed on mine. There were dark circles beneath his eyes as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm just tired," he said with an unusual softness to his voice.

I nodded my head and let out a soft chuckle.

"I can see how running this place might be tiring, but you should be proud of what you've built. You've turned the Northside into a well-oiled machine, and at the same time, you've provided your guys with the essentials to get out of here if they choose to. It's impressive. You've done far more for this brotherhood than Cayden will ever do," I said, my eyes watching his gold watch on his right wrist.

As we had been talking, all the guys cleared out of the basement leaving us alone.

Cam laughed at my statement and a smile crept onto his face.

"Well, thank you, Spence. You know, you're the first person to compliment my time as a leader," he said before his tone became serious when he spoke again, "Speaking of Cayden... what is your next step, man? These runners keep showing up here, and we can hold them off for so long, but eventually you're going to have to return to the Southside."

My head dropped and my eyes stared at the pavement beneath our feet. My heart was ramming against my ribcage in an uncontrollable rhythm. I didn't want to return to the Southside because I didn't want to return to that part of my life.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I know it has put heat on you guys to have me here. I am just biding my time until I'm ready to leave the Southside for good," I said as my eyes rose to meet his dark ones.

Cam turned to lean against the wood table with his arms folded across his broad chest.

"So, that's your step? You're wanting to leave the Southside for good?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Yes. That's my plan. I have been holding off because I am scared Cam. I have so much to live for now. . . What if I don't make it out?" I questioned, expelling a breath from my lungs.

My life had changed in so many ways since I left Cayden behind. I loved Adrienne with every fiber of my being, and the thought of leaving her alone in this evil world terrified me. I didn't just have myself to look after anymore. The opportunity to graduate high school, and get out of Chicago was available now. I was scared to throw it all away.

Cam watched me as he pushed himself away from the table before folding his arms back across his chest and standing in front of me.

"I hate to tell you the bad news, but it's definitely a possibility. I don't know of anyone who has made it out of the Southside gang other than Jeff, but he didn't have to go through the un-initiation part," he said as he placed his hand against his bearded chin.

I was quiet so he continued,"It is also a possibility you survive, and you get your life back. What it comes down to is if that is a risk you are willing to take, Spence?" he asked his voice was stern, but laced with concern.

My shoulders tensed and the muscle in my jaw ached. It was a risk I had to take because my ties to the Southside were the only thing holding me back.

"If you do leave the Southside, and you make it out, I would be honored to call you a blood brother," he said, throwing his offer onto the table.

I tilted my head at him and raised an eyebrow. My body relaxed and my lips twisted into a smile.

"Are you for real, Cam?" I asked him.

He nodded his head with a soft laugh.

"Yeah, of course. I mean you are basically an unofficial brother now," he said as he pushed past me headed towards the stairs.

I followed him, and my mind was swirling as I thought about his offer. His voice broke my train of thought.

"Besides, Adrienne has been begging me to extend that offer to you. I figured I would finally give her the satisfaction," he said with a laugh as he made it to the top of the stairs.

Cam and Adrienne had been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks. She enjoyed his company whenever I was busy handling my online classes. He gave her a lesson on the Northside's history in Chicago and he showed her the collection of guns in the safe.

Jeff had taught Adrienne how to handle a gun for her own protection, and Cam allowed her to shoot the ones she had never seen before. He even taught her how to play poker which was a mistake because she had a good poker face. She went undefeated at the Blood's poker night, cashing in a stack, and still hasn't let Cam hear the end of it.

"She never ceases to amaze me," I said as we entered the living room together.

"Agreed, Spence. You've got a good girl by your side. She's a real ride or die. I'd hold onto that," he said, dropping down into a seat by Ace and LD.

Ace was finishing rolling a blunt, licking the end of the cigarillo while LD continued to break down a nug of weed in the middle of the table. Their eyes flashed to Cam as he sat down, and he nodded in approval. Ace lit the blunt and hit it, inhaling the thick smoke before handing it to Cam. Cam took it between his fingers and placed it to his lips, the end of it lighting up a bright orange. The sweet-smelling smoke filled the room.

"Trust me, I know. Thanks for being so welcoming to her," I said, as I leaned against the back of the couch.

Cam's dark eyes flashed to mine as he exhaled the smoke from his lungs. He offered the blunt to me, but I shook my head. Arriving at the chief of police's house smelling like marijuana probably wasn't the best thing for me.

"No problem, Spence. I told you, I've always got your back," he said taking another hit of the blunt he had basically taken over.

LD and Ace had settled for sharing the other blunt between them. I smiled at Cam and nodded as I walked over by him, patting his shoulder.

Then the metal door swung open with a loud bang. Everyone in the room jumped.

Cobi entered the room, carrying a large duffle bag.

"Fuck, bro. We high in here, tone down the noise," LD spat out as he settled back into the couch.

Cobi's braids were sticking up off the top of his head as a mask covered his face. He was swinging around an M134 and talking to the guy behind him. He stopped when he saw me standing there with Cam.

Tension settled on the room. Cobi's eyes narrowed.

He unloaded his gun and set it in the safe. He turned to look at me, his brown eyes glaring into mine. Cobi was one of the older members of the Northside and he was pissed at Cam for allowing a non-member asylum here. It had been weeks now, but he still had not gotten over it.

"I see Southside boy is still here," he snapped, his voice muffled through the mask.

The other guy who had entered with him was a small white guy named Lee. He was silent and I had never seen him speak to anyone.

Cam glanced back at him from his spot on the couch and nodded his head, continuing to hit the blunt.

"Yeah, Cobi. It's still heavy on your heart I see," he said, his voice taking on an annoyed tone.

Cobi growled, but he knew better than to defy Cam. He tossed the duffle bag down on the coffee table as he made his way around the couch.

"Eastside bitches tried to rip us off. All these bills are counterfeit. The serial numbers don't match," he snapped, unzipping the bag.

Cam leaned forward as he exhaled and his eyes ran over the money in the bag. He picked up one of the stacks of hundreds and flipped through it.

"What were they after?" he asked, still analyzing the bills.

"Snow. Two keys of it. I think they were trying to buy it for Harlem from the east side. I think they want to sell our stuff because it's superior to theirs. They sent two white bitches, but they didn't send the cash," he responded, awaiting Cam's orders.

"What did you do with the merchandise?" he asked.

"Sent it with money bag. He said he would drop it back off at the warehouse in the Lincoln territory," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

Cam nodded, and he tossed the fake bills back into the bag.

"Burn it. It's useless. Good catch, Cobi," he said, leaning back to take another hit of the blunt.

Cobi laughed and shook his head.

"Nah, fam. Little Lee caught that it was fakes," he said motioning to Lee who was standing beside me.

He raised his hand up and nodded his head, never saying a word. Cam smiled wide and held the smoke in his lungs.

"Little Lee with the win," he said, exhaling.

Cobi picked the duffle bag back up off the table and his eyes landed on me. He pushed around the couch and hit my shoulder on his way past.

"Still think you don't belong here," he snarled before disappearing down the hallway.

Lee glanced up at me and then followed along after Cobi.

I let out a sigh and glanced down at Cam.

"Don't worry about it, my guy. Cobi is just set in his ways," he said, laughing.

LD and Ace looked up at me with lazy smiles on their faces.

"Yeah, Spence. We are the most important people here, and we like you. So, you're good," LD said, as he passed the blunt off.

"Right. Thanks guys," I said simply.

Cam held the blunt out to me again. "Are you sure you don't wanna smoke?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nah, I might take you up on that offer another day. I'm headed to see Adrienne now and I don't want to smell like drugs," I said, watching him as I leaned against the couch.

"Your choice," he said with a light laugh.

I ran a hand through my hair and smiled at him. "I'll see you guys later," I said, and Cam reached up to grab my arm.

"So, what we talked about earlier?" he questioned, his deep voice catching my attention.

I glanced at his face and my stomach churned. I knew this was it.

"It's time, Cam."

He knew exactly what those words meant. His dark eyes watched me, and he exhaled another puff of smoke.

"Good luck, brother. I'll be thinking about you," he said, touching his hand to his chest.

I smiled at him and then turned headed towards the metal door. I pulled it open and stepped out into the sunny alley, allowing the door to slam shut behind me, leaving my Northside family. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as I headed down the alley with my head down.

The sun was shining, but it was still too cold to melt the snow that had accumulated on the ground. I crossed the street headed through the park as my mind started to wander.

How was I supposed to tell Adrienne about tonight? I already tried pushing her away before and that didn't work out in my favor. I would have to be honest with her, but I was scared for her.

I didn't want her to worry about me. I sighed as I made it to the steps of her apartment and quickly headed up them.

Antho and Joe waved at me from their spots perched on the railing in front of their door. They were cat-calling at some girl that walked past the apartment. I stopped at the door and took a minute to collect myself before knocking on it.

After a moment, her aunt Trisha answered the door with her cheery smile.

"Spencer. How are you today?" she asked, stepping out of the way to allow me inside.

"I'm good, Mrs. Trisha. Thanks for asking," I said, reaching down to hug her.

She gave me a tight squeeze and a smile never left her face.

"Adrienne is in her room. Do you want anything to drink or are you hungry?" she asked with a sweet, caring tone.

She always tried to feed me. She made an effort to be my mother-figure since she knew I had lost mine.

"No, ma'am. I am good today. Thanks," I said, shrugging out of my black leather jacket.

I gripped it in my hands, turning to head across the living room.

"No problem. Just let me know if you guys need anything. Jeff is at work today, so it'll just be me here," she called after me.

I strolled to Adrienne's closed door and pushed it open. The room was dark except for the Christmas lights that hung above her bed. She was sitting on her edge of the mattress staring at something in her hands.

She hurriedly put it away as I entered.

"Hey, Spencer. I didn't know you were coming by today," she said, smiling up at me.

I kicked the door shut with my foot as I made my way over to her. She had completely cleaned the floors and finally unpacked all of her stuff from the boxes making the room look a lot larger.

"I decided to be spontaneous," I said, leaning down to give her a soft kiss as I reached her.

"How was the Northside fam?" she asked, after we broke the kiss.

I smiled at her, my thumbs brushing against her cheeks. "They are good. Cam seems tired a lot, but he's making it. LD was getting high with Ace which is nothing new," I said, my fingers dropping to play with the ends of her hair.

She nodded her head and fell silent.

"What about you, baby girl? What have you been up to today?" I asked, moving to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.

She glanced over at me and smiled. "Today has been really good. Full of surprises," she said, turning her body to lay down in the bed.

"Well, that's great. How was school?" I asked, moving to lay beside her, opening my arms so that she could cuddle against my chest.

"School is pretty boring without you... It's the same classes and people over and over. I am just counting down the days to graduation," She said, laughing softly.

"Well, I only have two more classes to finish online, and then I'm done," I whispered in her ear.

She turned over to look at me and her draw dropped.

"Really, Spence? Oh my god. I am so proud of you," she said, tilting her head to kiss my chin.

"Thanks, baby girl. I wouldn't have been able to do it without your support," I whispered as my arms squeezed around her.

My heart was filled with happiness. It was moments like these, that made me forget the problems I had. She was quiet for a few minutes.

She seemed to be deep in thought because her eyebrows were pushed together.

I was curious as to what she was thinking about, but I also had to figure out how to tell her about my plans tonight.

I was returning to the Southside. My muscles tensed and she shifted her body in response so that she could look at me.

"Adrienne. I have to tell you something," I breathed.

She turned in my arms so that her body was facing mine. Her blue eyes were sparkling up at me.

"What is it?" she asked, staring at me.

"It's time for me to return to the Southside. I must face Cayden. I've put it off for weeks now, but I can't anymore..." I said, and she reached up to catch my face between her hands.

"I know. I talked to Cam about it a few nights ago. I knew this time was coming. He comforted me. He told me that you had to do it to get your life back. It's the only way to officially put that part of your past behind you. He also told me you were strong enough to survive it," she whispered, smiling up at me.

Damn. I didn't know she had talked to Cam about this.

The fact Cam thought I could survive it gave me hope.

"I don't know how I like all these talks with Cam... I might start to get a little jealous," I whispered with a teasing tone to my voice as I smiled back at her.

She giggled and brushed her hair out of her face.

"Don't be jealous. You know, I'm in love with you, Spence. Always," she whispered.

"I love you too, Adrienne. You have a special piece of my heart," I said as I rubbed her side, enjoying the feeling of her skin beneath my fingertips.

I enjoyed these moments here with her. They gave me motivation to keep working on myself. They gave me the strength to conquer any new task in front of me.

"I don't want you to get hurt, Spence. I know it's naive to think that you won't though," she whispered, concern filling her eyes.

I let out a deep sigh as my stomach flipped.

"I don't know what to expect. I've never heard of anyone making it out of the gang, but I also have never got to experience an un-initiation. I just keep remembering the reason I am doing it though. You will be my motivation to keep me alive. I have something to fight for, and I truly believe that will give me the strength to survive. I am doing it for a better life for us," I whispered, leaning forward to press my lips to hers.

Our lips moved together in perfect synchronization. It was a passionate kiss that deepened with each second. Our tongues brushed, and her hands gripped my hair, holding me to her. I couldn't get enough of her.

If this was the last time I could touch her, I was going to make the most of the moment.

Our lips finally parted, as our chests rose and fell heavily, and our noses brushed against each other. She looked as if she was about to say something, but hesitated.

"I just need you to promise me one thing," she breathed finally.

"Anything."

"Promise me, right now, that you will come back tomorrow," she pleaded with me.

This time it was me who hesitated.

That was a promise I couldn't guarantee, but I knew for her sake I had too.

"I promise." I forced the words out and my chest tightened.

With that she cuddled into my side, resting her head against my cheek and silence fell over us.

I laid there holding her until she fell asleep, her soft breathing relaxing me.

After a bit, I glanced over at the alarm clock on her side table.

Six O'Clock.

The sun had set, and darkness settled on the city.

It was time to go meet my fate.

I slipped quietly out of her bed, trying my best to not wake her. As I moved, she rolled over and fell back asleep. I watched her for a moment, my eyes running over her one last time.

I was going to remember her like this.

My body bent over her as I pressed my lips against her forehead, giving her one last kiss before backing away from her.

Her aunt Trisha was busy working in the kitchen, preparing dinner for Jeff when he arrived home after work.

"Bye, Mrs. Trisha. Thank you for allowing me to stop by," I called as I shrugged my jacket back on.

"You are welcome anytime, Spencer. Will I see you tomorrow?" she called from the kitchen never stopping her busy work.

"I hope so," I said through gritted teeth and pulled open the front door.

I stepped out onto the porch and the cold air hit me hard. It took my breath away.

I shut the door behind me and started down the steps, shoving my hands in my pockets. My breathing was ragged as I tried to prepare myself.

I was unarmed. I was vulnerable.

But the strength I had in my heart was enough to get me through this. I had something to fight for.

As I reached the steps to the apartment of the Southside gang, I clenched my fists and my jaw locked.

Adrienne's face flashed through my mind, reminding me why I was here. This was one step away from the south and one step towards the north.

Those were two steps I was willing to take.