"We all get addicted to something that takes the pain away"
Song: Sucker for Pain by Lil Wayne, Wiz Kalifa & Imagine Dragons w/  Logic & Ty Dollar $ign ft. X Ambassadors

~~~

          I pulled Hunter up to my room, since I didn't want Tyler to see him when he came home. I was pretty much avoiding Tyler in general. He was a jerk yesterday, and he deserves whatever he gets. Right now, Hunter was tutoring me by giving shortcuts to help with the periodic table. If I had known that these shortcuts existed, I would've been a genius in chemistry already. Tyler ended up not coming back home till 5 p.m. He didn't even bother to acknowledge me. I huffed. I was supposed to be the one that was mad, not him! He was the one who got into an argument with me over someone he didn't know. Noticing my change in mood, Hunter asked, "Sibling wars?" I just nodded, too tired to explain more. In fact, I didn't want to explain at all. Explaining my situation to Hunter would just be awkward.

          Realizing that I wasn't going to elaborate, Hunter snapped his mouth shut. "Okay; we're done here. You won't be needing much more tutoring. Maybe just until the end of this week," He slammed the book shut. I flinched slightly at the noise. Over the past day or two, I'd noticed that Hunter had put his walls back up a little. When he first introduced himself to me, his eyes were bright, open, and vulnerable. Now they were more guarded, and let little information out. I felt sad at the thought of him blocking me out, but I knew it wasn't only him. I was giving him the same treatment, even though I knew it was unfair. I sighed, opening my mouth to start a conversation, when Hunter beat me to it. "I need to use the restroom." I nodded and pointed towards our restroom. Then I slammed my book shut as well, and took my phone out.

I was checking out the snapchat filters when suddenly, I stopped at the flower crown filter. It was incredibly pretty, enhancing my eye lashes, adding a hazy layer to my eyes, and smoothing my skin. I tilted my head in a few directions, trying to find the perfect light and position. I never usually posted on my story; I didn't even check Snapchat that often. I usually just sent snaps to my friend Lily, in order to let her know what was going on in my life. She sent me snaps pretty often too, and although we weren't too close, we still kept in contact. She called me at least once a month. Our friendship wasn't too stable, but it was still there. I heard the bathroom door open, but I was still posing for the picture. Hunter crept up behind me and joined the picture, causing me to look up at him in surprise. While I looked up, my thumb accidentally took the picture. I turned to look at it, and it took my breath away. It was perfect. We were both looking into each others' eyes and there was something indescribable displayed there. Many emotions were visible: fear, vulnerability, care, and something else I couldn't identify. Nevertheless, it shook me to my bones.

          I silently sent the picture to Lily and turned back to look at him. He was still staring at me intensely. I could feel that connection between us again. It was like fire or electricity, crackling between us. It pulled me towards him, and him towards me. I felt myself leaning forwards, and I could tell that he was doing likewise. I couldn't shake myself out of this strange new emotion inside me. Our lips were an inch away from each other's when my phone vibrated. I turned to look at it, and saw that Lily was calling me. I turned back to him, but he was busy packing his bag. I figured that Hunter wouldn't care, so I answered my phone and exited the room. "Who's the guy you were with in the picture?" Lily asked, immediately cutting to the chase. "Umm... my new friend Hunter. He was tutoring me for Chem and photobombed my picture. Why?" I asked. Lily's voice was shaky when she replied, "I can see it in your eyes... In both of your eyes. I know that look. Be safe honey; guard your heart." I could say something was wrong from the way Lily was warning me. "What's wrong Lily?" I asked softly. I could hear her blonde curls rustling as she shook her head, even through the phone. "That's a story for another time, darling," Lily laughed bitterly. She cut the call with a hasty goodbye, and my heart ached.

          My first best friend had probably just gotten her heart broken, and I hadn't been there for her. What hurt more was that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what happened. Then, something struck me. It was so obvious, the unknown emotion in our eyes. My walls were slowly being broken down, no matter what I did! My heart started beating so hard, and I felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. I tried to steady my heart rate in vain. Then Hunter came out of my room, books and bag in hand. "I've got to go," he said, focusing on the floor and avoiding eye contact. Apparently he had noticed too. "Okay," I tried to choke out, but my voice was barely a whisper. I followed him out, and both of us got into my car. The whole ride back to his house was incredibly awkward. Neither of us spoke a word, but once in awhile I could feel his eyes on me. My eyes kept straying towards him too, and I had to keep reminding myself to focus on the road. After what seemed like forever, we reached his house. He got out quickly, and only uttered a quick goodbye. His voice was really low. I bid him goodbye and sped off after he entered his house.

          I reached my house and ran all the way up to my room, sparing only a single glance at my brother's closed door. I rummaged through my drawer, and had soon found my only way out. For some reason, I've succumbed to its urge again and again. It was almost like I was addicted. I always find my way to it, no matter how I feel, whether I'm scared, anxious, fearful, anything. The emotion I was feeling right now was a mix of everything else, just ten times stronger. It overwhelmed me, overpowered me. I felt helpless, almost like I was under a spell. I had to find my way out, so I pulled my knife out of the drawer.

Hunter's POV

          I could feel it. It was so strong, the connection between us. It pulled me towards her. It was irresistible. I could see every freckle that spotted her nose and every fleeting sparkle in her eyes... Her beautiful brown eyes. I had seen them slowly widen as I bent towards her. And then, at the last possible moment, she had turned away. I snapped out of my spell. I can't believe that I had almost kissed her! She wasn't ready yet. I helplessly sat in silence as she answered the phone and exited the room. I ran a hand through my hair, cursing my stupidity and carelessness. I quickly packed my bag, not yet ready to face her. Since the walls were thin, I could hear her responses to whoever had called her, but I couldn't make out the entire conversation. Eventually I picked up my courage and opened the door. Avoiding her gaze, I looked down at the floor and told her that we needed to leave. We both got into the car and she sped off in the direction of my house. I wanted to start a conversation to get rid of this awkward air surrounding us, but I wasn't able to find anything to say. I couldn't get the image of her innocent doe eyes widening as I neared her out of my head.

          She stopped right outside of my house, and I left after bidding her goodbye. She responded, but her voice was barely audible. I could see the flush on her pale smooth cheeks, and all I wanted to do was to bend down and brush them against my lips. Resisting the urge, I shut the door and ran up to my room. I threw my bag on the bed and flopped onto it, mentally embarking on a struggle to organize my thoughts. Hope had trapped me since she first looked my way. Her innocent brown eyes that could melt anyone's heart had completely enveloped me, and her soft brown hair looked so bright and soft that I yearned to hold her close. I cared for her deeply, more than a simple friend should, and I knew it. But there was something I had to do. I had to save her... From herself, and the darkness looming above her... But maybe, just maybe, there was another way. I started to plan it out. I had decided long ago, from the moment I noticed her pain, that I will save her. I'll save her from the harsh reality of the world. From herself. From losing hope. From burning out.