I make a step forward into a gust of cool breeze blowing rapidly towards my direction, instantly spreading goosebumps all over my skin. The sole of my left shoe hits against a pebble, I lightly kick it up forward away from me, as the wind completes the rest of the work, carrying it far away beyond the grassy pathway.

I hear muffles of sounds coming from the other side of the door. I don't bother trying to make out what my mother and Candace are saying behind the solid door that now separates us.

On my eighty-fifth count of hair strands on my throbbing head, the door finally opens revealing Candace, and only Candace. I let out a sigh of relief now they've finished their seemingly never-ending conversation. Patience was never my strongest attribute.

"Where is she?" I question.

"She's in the kitchen suiting herself with a couple of drinks." she giggles, "She finally agreed on letting me spend time with you while she stays here." She points her finger at the tall building standing behind her.

"And?" I expected way more than what she's telling me right now. There's no way that's the only thing they touched upon in there while I was standing out here for like half an hour. And drinks? She was drinking? For all I know, mother doesn't drink and never has. Father does however and she would always give him a repugnant look, and always had found alcohol distasteful.

"It's all fine, sweetie. Let's just get some ice cream." she squeals.

I cringe at her use of the word 'sweetie' to address me. It only sounds right when it's said by my mother.

"But..."

Before I know it, her palms are cupped around my cheeks and my head is tilted up facing her, my eyes parallel to hers. "I explained everything needed to be explained to her and everything's taken care of. She may not be pleased with me particularly, but she loves..." Her voice cracks at the last word. It's as if she has to force herself to continue.

"she...loves you. And she thinks you do deserve to be around people outside of who're usually with, especially when they're related to you."

I look down and she releases her hands, leaving a portion of my face red. She resumes forward towards the gate as a car sits outside the fence which I assume would take us to the best ice cream place I genuinely look forward going to.

I decide to let it go and follow her, quickening the steps of my feet to catch up to her, before getting into the car. The window is dark and faded making almost impossible getting even a glimpse of who's behind the wheel. I get inside with her and the engine starts.

The car gets into motion and still my minds not at peace. I'm left dizzy with clusters of unanswered questions revolving around my head. I refuse to miss this opportunity to redeem more information concerning my grandmother out of Candace. My satisfaction is still deeply empty and I feel like she would open more about it than mother would ever even try. It didn't take too much convincing for her to open up and blabber on.

From what I'm hearing, she is currently living in one of the wealthiest house in this town at eighty-one years old. Her husband died just a couple years ago which left everyone devastated because he was seen by many to be the most loving man there is. Her name was Victoria Rosewood. She supposedly claims owner of 99 dogs, she'd get at least one every year since she first settled into the house. She's a huge dog lover like I am. She'd bear, and still she does, high standards for everyone and expected everyone to live up to that standard only because she expected the best out of everybody. If you were on her good side, she's the sweetest and caring to you. You had to be very malicious to get on her bad side. I felt like that was indirectly aimed at my mother which not so successfully, I brush off.

"When can I meet.."

"I don't think you mother would like that. " She says in an instant before I can finish my question.

"But you could take me to her. She doesn't have to know. Please give me the chance to meet my own grandmother. You're my only hope " I beg. I desperately want and need to know exactly what my mother did so bad that her own mother would abandoned her, ultimately leading to the destruction between the bond Candace and herself had. I don't want to get the specifics from Candace not because I lack trust in her but I'd rather hear it from Victoria, herself. I also want to get closer to her not just physically but emotionally. Maybe I can even mend their relationship and everything will be okay.

"Why?" Her voice disturbingly cold and stern. Without meaning to, I gasp and chills run down my spine. Her face is blank and still, the replication of my mother's face a few moments ago in the car. I was gradually starting to get comfortable around her but her tone doesn't sit well with me.

"Umm...well..because I think she should get to see her only granddaughter, don't you think?" I'm not exactly lying. I mean as far as I know, Candace doesn't have a child meaning I'm her only grandchild. She can't despise my mother enough to not want to see her only grandchild. Does she even know that she has one?

Her face relaxes and she goes back to looking sweet and gentle, like she usually does and often not like she did a second ago.

"Fine, why don't we go after we get some delicious treat." Her eyebrows rise waiting for me to oblige.

"Really?!" I squeal. I can't believe what I'm hearing. I didn't expect her to give in that easy and not only that but to let me visit her today? Excitement and anxiousness fills me up. I'm going to meet my grandmother for the first time in forever, and meet someone then again, that my mother heavily dislikes and is probably not even aware that I exist.

"Yes, Izabella," she says sternly again but not as cold. I'm baffled after she says my actual name, she doesn't do that quite much, often substituting my name with corny nicknames. The ride feels like its never coming to an end. I could feel myself drifting to sleep, but my rush of adrenaline keeps me up. During this seemingly endless journey, I think on and on about how my first encounter with my grandmother would turn out. I initially imagined her deeply intimidating but after hearing some of Candace's description and perspective on her, how I vision her alters just a bit. A rush of endless questions runs through my mind and the long hours in this ride is giving me more than enough time to think hard about everything, it's actually making me lose my mind if I'm to be honest, but I hide that with effectively controlling my abnormal breathing patterns and composing my self. The shade of the sky looks dimmer than before, I've counted more trees than I needed to and I'm something seems to be off telling from the sunken feeling troubling my heart.

"How far from us is this ice cream place. " I ask.

"Not too far." she says for the twentieth time. I've noticed that Candace has kept her line of vision straight ahead and away from mines throughout the whole ride. The feeling is deja-vu and everything that had happened moments ago with mother is happening now. But this time, I don't question her and just go along with it. The sunken feeling in my heart is getting deeper the more time has passed and the more trees I count. "I think maybe we should go back, its getting pretty late." I blabber out without meaning to but still mean what I say.

Candace grins widely, her eyes popping out and her cheeks pierced. "Say no such thing, dear. We've come along this far, whats the use of turning back now. Don't worry too much dear. We'll get there sooner than you think." She says softly. too softly that her voice comes out unnerving. I try to follow her command and not worry, but that's all I'm doing. Worrying. And i don't know why I am in the first place. Maybe it's just because I'm paranoid, I've always been. As my thoughts become more dense, and my legs become number from sitting in the same position for hours, my head crashes into the head of the seat when the car makes a sudden stop. I look to the left and Candace clenches on to the edge of her seat as if she expected it to happen. "What the...?" I'm only able to say.

"It's unfortunate to say that we've ran out of gas." The deep, raspy voice calls out. I almost swore to myself I've heard this voice  before but I cant put my finger on it, and lost any effort to.

"Damn, you people and your shabby cars. What does it take to restore your vehicles and ensure they are filled up, ready to be used before you go ahead and pick someone up. Whats the use of spending loads of money on you senseless bastards with wretched cars. You people have no care for your clients, all you want is your undeserved money. God, why do I even bother?" She rants her face turning into a lighter shade of red, and her forehead scrunched revealing lines of stress. I've never seen this side of Candace, and hopefully I never will or be the cause of it. The slightly visible head behind the car wheel bows down in disappointment and shame, his hair merely recognizable. 

Candace presses in the door handle getting out of the car and I do the same. She brings out a bundle of money strapped with a loose string and throws it at the poor man who's head still down, making his face completely invisible. His face hasn't been revealed or seen ever, at least from my perspective,  which I find quite odd; and I find also significantly odd that Candace has a stack of money already tied up ready to be thrown at the poor guy who's face I genuinely want to see. Its like everything is..

"Lets go honey," Candace disrupts my thought and holds out her hand, I follow her direction behind but my arms remains falling straight down besides me, not lifting my hand to hold hers, she gets the clue and puts her hands down walking beside me. "So we're just gonna walk?" Her head nods slowly answering my question. "Yes sweetcake, but luckily we're not that far way. Its not going to be a long walk, trust me." I nod my head assuredly and continue walking, after five minutes of silence, it been broken by a sudden gasp. 

"My purse! I left my purse in the car. Dammit!" Her hand slaps her forehead in frustration and she looks at me assuredly. "Would you mind waiting here while I go get my purse. My foolish self left it in the car. Good thing we didn't walk too far." I sigh not too noticeably, now that my patience is being once again tested. I don't want to be left here in the dark all alone, though its not that dark, it seems like it could get really dark at any moment but i give in, as always, hiding my discontentment. "Of course!" I fake smile, something I do way too often.

She clings her around me in a tight hug that I didn't see coming, almost cutting my breath short, and runs along back to find her purse. I lie my head against a tree as I try to defeat the incoming sleep that keeps coming back to get me. I suddenly hear an engine sound but I shrug it off, guessing its just from my imagination or extreme exhaustion as I see no sight of anything but trees. Five minutes pass, six minutes pass and Candace is nowhere present. A couple of minutes pass by, and my abnormal breathing patterns strike back at me again, but i convince myself it's just my stubborn sleep taunting at me. After the sky did what I hope it wouldn't do, and darken into a dark shade of nightly blue, my anxiety almost reaches to its highest point. I follow my mother's past advise and breath in and out repeatedly, blocking out the panic attack that's trying to overtake me. I have no idea where I am, and I'm not quite sure how to return back home.

My only solution is to walk. Don't know where but that's what I do, just walk. My heart beat races at an alarming pace and pumps abruptly out of my chest. I'm not nearly prepared mentally or physically on how to deal with these situations for I'm home almost all the time, the only advise that's been given that may work in any circumstance is to breath. The only advise back home that I could take outside or in any circumstances. 

I walk having no plan whatsoever. But my walking and breathing is cut short after I'm suddenly on the ground with an arm wrapped around my neck too tightly. Everything went black.

***

Once again, thanks for reading. sorry this chapter is so short lol. 😁

Love ya!💚💙

-Thelma (Styles)
-spouse of Harry Styles

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