I WAS RISKING MY LIFE every time I looked at her or even talked to her. Talked to her when I should not have. But it was nearly impossible to ignore her and pretend she did not exist. She was a drug to me, an addiction I was unable to get clean of. Explaining how she made me feel was humanly out of the question. I was not supposed to develop feelings for her, let alone protect her from the people I worked for. This was supposed to be a simple task; catch her and turn her in for being a traitor.

Not fall in love.

Falling in love with her was not right.

Indescribable.

A sin; unholy.

I knew I should have stopped.

But I knew she had fallen for me, too.

Hard.

A part of me knew loving her would eventually have to come to an end. How did someone simply stop having feelings for someone? Feelings could not be controlled and they could not be helped. My heart had a thing for disobeying me but this time? I was completely fine with it. For once, my heart had chosen someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Our love was an incurable disease and if I were to have a cat scan, I would light up like a Christmas tree.

I was entirely infected.

I knew that as well as I knew my own name.

The way she laughed made me always want to join in with her. She never held back, smiling widely and proud to show off her imperfect teeth. It was in fact her flaws that made her absolutely beautiful. She never cared how her hair looked and she never cared about how other people viewed her. At least, that was what I thought. I never knew what went on inside that head of hers and she never knew what went on inside of mine. If she knew, she would know I was not who I told her I was and the trust we held would be broken.

She sat on the other side of the table, making a list of things everyone would need for the trip, occasionally throwing Greysen a look whenever he suggested something irrelevant. He would only point to her piece of paper in hopes that she would eventually write his suggestions down. Everyone was here; Olivia, Travis, Megan, Billy, Valerie, Amelia, Logan, Greysen, Sydney, and I. Amelia and Logan decided it would be best for George to stay with his grandparents until we got back.

Thank God.

No one seemed to question what happened to either Sydney and I. Of course, they saw the wounds on our bodies but said absolutely nothing about them. Greysen acted as if he did not notice them, either, and that he did not know what happened. Sydney had managed to cover some of the wounds on her face with her makeup but they were still noticeable. If someone stared at her long enough, the black and purple bruises would soon enough show their faces through the foundation she was wearing.

We had all managed to squeeze into a booth here at Fred's Diner and we were all sharing an apple pie. Sydney tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as she continued to scribble words down on the notepad. I knew I could sit here and watch her all day if it was not for Olivia constantly nudging me with her pointy elbow. When I turned my head to look at her, she pointed to the corner of her mouth and I copied her motion, feeling a bit of saliva on my skin.

"Hey, I think we're running a little low on pie. Come with me to get some more?"

I opened my mouth to decline but Olivia reached for my hand and started pulling me out of the booth. Sydney looked up from writing and I smiled at her, feeling a moment's relief when she smiled back at me. I nearly tripped over my own two feet because it was so hard for me to look away from her. Olivia pulled me up to the counter and snapped her fingers in my face, causing me to frown and look down at her.

"Did you really need me to accompany you?" I wondered. "Because you know your boyfriend is right over there and—"

She smacked my arm, "Did you really have to stare her down like you were about to jump across the table and eat her face? I mean, honestly, you're acting as if you haven't seen the woman since yesterday."

"That's because I haven't." I said, rolling my eyes at her.

"And why haven't you suggested anything to put on the list?" Olivia asked, pointing to one of the apple pies for the cashier to grab for us. "This is your beach house, is it not? You should know what contents you have and what contents you don't have." I deepened my frown when she punched my arm. "Why aren't you participating? This was your idea and it's a mighty good one at that."

"Can you stop abusing me? I didn't sign up for this when I decided to be friends with you."

She pinched me.

"Nope," she grinned, slapped some cash on the counter, and walked off with the fresh apple pie.

I watched her go back to the table and I watched how Sydney was steady socializing with those around her, occasionally laughing and listening to what they had to say. A smile formed on my lips, glad I had introduced her to my friends when I did. Amelia was the only one not associating herself with Sydney and I wondered why. I was curious but not that curious. If something was going on between the two of them, I was sure they could work it out themselves. After all, they were adults and did not need others to help guide them in the right direction.

When I joined them back at the table, the pie was already sliced and Greysen had two slices stacked on his plate, eating them both at the same time. He opened his mouth to speak and I cringed when crumbs flew out of his mouth, "I told everyone we would meet at your house no later than six in the morning. We want to be ahead of traffic, you know, ahead of those who have to be at work before the sun decides to show. Poor things."

I smirked, "Why do we always have to meet at my house? Greysen, why don't we meet at your apartment?"

"Because y'all ain't ready for my kingdom," he fired back, clearly proud to refer to his junky home as a glorious kingdom. If anything, his apartment looked as if it was a victim of a tornado.

"More like his porn stash is all over the place and he doesn't want any of us finding out." Valerie laughed and received a high five from Megan.

He quickly looked at her, "Who the fuck told you about that?"

"You just told on yourself." Travis muttered. "I know we dudes have to stick together, but dammit, Greysen...now you're just letting us down."

Logan nodded his head, "The ladies aren't supposed to know about your secret stash, buddy boy."

I laughed, "Yeah, but just so you know, you left some of your stash at my place from when you crashed there. So I would pick them up before everyone comes over and assumes they're mine."

"You make it sound like an illegal substance or something horrifying!" Greysen shrieked.

A few people glanced our way and the look of confusion washed over their faces. Billy slowly clapped his hands and whistled, "Yet you wonder why you're still single."

Sydney let out a laugh and tapped her writing utensil against the paper as she continued to listen to the madness going on around her. Both of her cheeks lit up with a beautiful rosy color and eyes were wide with bewilderment. I took advantage of her distraction and reached across the table, grabbing the notepad and placing it down in front of me.

"Hey," I looked up to see her pouting. "I was using that."

"Well, now I'm using it. Give me the pen?"

She shook her head at me, "Give me the notepad. It's mine."

"Pen."

"Notepad."

"Pen."

"Notepad," she said, copying just the right amount of emphasis.

"You didn't put down any medicine," I noted, looking down at the list. "What are we supposed to do if someone gets sick?"

"Send someone to the store, dumbass." Greysen snickered before shoving more pie into his mouth.

Sydney shrugged, "I just assumed you already had some."

I held out my hand for the pen and she handed it over without any hesitation. Once the utensil left her hand, though, she realized what she had just done and groaned. I laughed and wrote down pain and stomach medicine. If we needed any other kind of medicine, Greysen was right. We could just send someone to the store to get what we needed. I also wrote down a first-aid kit because accidents were bound to happen. Some of us were clumsy and at least two of us were going to have a few scrapes.

"Are we going to the grocery store once we get there? We aren't going to eat out everyday, are we? I don't know about all of you, but I'm not trying to burn a hole in my pocket." Amelia wondered.

"We'll get groceries."

"I can't cook," Valerie said.

"All right," Greysen nodded his head. "I understand."

"Thanks," she smiled. "You know, when you want to be, you're actually a pretty decent—"

"Nah," he laughed and pointed at the door. "You can't go. Please make your way toward the exit and leave your pie with me."

"What?" her eyes widened. "Last time I checked, you still don't know your left from your right. So, don't judge me for not—"

I rolled my eyes, "Greysen, shut up and leave the girl alone."

Valerie stared at him with pure hatred in her eyes and I waited for her to wrap her small hands around his neck. Unfortunately, it never happened and that caused me great sadness. Sydney watched me write more items down on the list that she forgot; sunscreen, for instance. I looked up from the notepad every now and then to see her looking down at my hand, watching her pen making various curves on the paper to create letters that soon enough created words.

"How clear are the beaches?" Megan asked. "Will I be able to see the fish in the water?"

I looked at her, "Oh, the water there is pretty clear. The smaller fish like to swim closer to the edge while the bigger fish are farther out where the water reaches just below my waist."

"How many bathing suits should I bring?" she wondered.

Travis looked at his sister, "You're only bringing your one piece and I demand you to wear shorts over them."

Olivia laughed, "Good grief, Travis, let the girl live on the edge."

"Letting her live on the edge will draw the attention of perverts who would want nothing more than to get into her pants."

Everyone at the table grew silent and I exchanged glances with Greysen, both of us trying to hold back our laughter. Travis was always overprotective when it came to Megan but none of us usually said anything because we did not have the right. Amelia awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck while Logan sipped his juice from his glass. Megan looked at her brother in absolute disbelief and I could see her tightening her jaw.

"All right," she said through gritted teeth. "Whatever you say, brother."

Travis smiled, clearly satisfied with his sister's response, and turned his attention back to his half-eaten slice of apple pie. He chewed slowly and Megan, too, smiled and watched him chew on his treat. With one swift movement, she moved her hand and jabbed it straight against his throat as he began to swallow. Olivia let out a high-pitched laugh as Travis started choking and looking around as if one of us had hit him and not his demon of a sister.

"I was thinking we could stop somewhere for breakfast in the morning." Amelia said, occasionally glancing over at Megan and Travis to see if they were going to fight some more. "I'm assuming you all will be hungry in the morning?"

"I'm hungry all the time," Greysen murmured. "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "You know what I mean."

"I still want everyone to meet up at my place first." I said. "That way, no one is running behind and no one gets lost. We'll all be together."

Sydney's cheeks turned red from across the table and the corners of her lips twitched upward into a smile. I wanted to copy her actions but I was frowning, wondering how a sweet woman such as herself found herself in such a messed up world. It was hard to imagine her killing and torturing others for a living. I knew it had to have been hard for her, seeing as how she tried turning everyone in at some point to save herself. Little did she know she was only putting herself in danger.

"You know," Valerie sighed. "The food here is great but the seats are uncomfortable. My butt is being tortured."

"What butt?" Greysen asked, blinking twice and slowly turning his head to look at her.

"You have a great butt, Valerie," Travis said, receiving another hit from his sister.

Sydney's eyes squinted shut as she laughed, the color of her cheeks changing from red to a rosy shade of pink. Her shoulders heaved up and down and she placed her hands on the edge of the table. Watching her laugh and be this happy was indescribable. Words had not yet been invented to explain in great detail how beautiful it was to watch her this way. The wounds seemed to wash away from her features when she was happy, as if she was truly pure and unharmed.

Almost like an angel.

"What's the name of the place?" Billy asked. "I'd like to know what it looks like before we get there. Olivia and I will probably look it up tonight after we finish packing."

Olivia snorted and muttered a quick, "I'm packing and going straight to bed. Try me if you want to."

"Here," Greysen grabbed the folder that sat on the end of the table. "I went ahead and printed out pictures of what the outside of the house looks like."

I raised my eyebrows, "You printed out pictures of my beach house?"

"Can I see?" Sydney asked, reaching for the folder anyway and taking it out of Greysen's hands.

He shrugged his shoulders and she looked at the pictures, tapping her fingernails against the table with one hand and moving the photos around with the other. Everyone else at the table turned their main focus to the pictures, too, and I simply watched them with slight amusement. The papers were soon enough being passed around the table because some were having trouble seeing the pictures as Sydney quickly looked through them.

"There's a hot tub," Amelia observed and looked up at me. "How come we're just now hearing about this place, Harry?"

"I rarely go there," I told her.

She tilted her head to the side, "Did Jillian know about this place?"

"We've been up there a few times together, yes."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Sydney's body stiffen and the air suddenly felt tense. A lump formed in my throat and it did not take long to realize everyone was either staring at Sydney or me in either confusion, shock, or sympathy. Sydney quickly turned her head and asked Megan to let her out of the booth. My heartbeat began to quicken as she got up from the table and started walking away. I knew she was not leaving because she left her purse but I knew the mention of Jillian messed with her.

"I'll be right back." Olivia told me.

"No, let me check on her."

She narrowed her eyes at me, "I think it would be better if I—"

"I'm sorry but who knew her first? Oh, that's right. I was the one who introduced her to you." I said and she sighed, knowing I was right.

Once I got up from the table, it did not take me long to find Sydney. She stood outside the restroom doors, examining her fingernails and constantly puffing both of her cheeks. Her left foot tapped repeatedly against the floor and her hair was now tucked neatly behind her ears. I slowly approached her and pressed my back against the wall. She did not look up at me but I looked down at her, trying my absolute best not to stroke her cheek or pull her into the hug my body had been so desperately craving.

"Why'd you invite me to go with you guys?" she suddenly asked, her voice small and barely audible.

I laughed, "Because you're one of us."

"No, I'm not."

"Don't talk like that. You're one of us. We're all friends."

"I believe the word 'friends' has such a deeper meaning than you think. Clearly, Amelia doesn't think we're friends. She thinks everything that happened is my fault and I don't exactly blame her. If I never moved to this town in the first place, Jillian would—"

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, "Stay at my place tonight."

Her blue eyes looked at me with confusion, "W-What?"

"I can't remember the last time it was just the two of us and we were actually having fun. You know, the room upstairs is still yours and I'm pretty sure it misses you."

"But I still have to pack—"

"I'll wait."

"Hmm," she tapped her chin for a moment and smiled. "Well, I do miss the fish."

"Sweet. So, I'll come pick you up whenever you're ready?"

"I have a car."

"So do I. And your point is?"

"There's something very strange about you, Harry Styles."

"I'm still picking you up tonight."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I should be ready by nine."

With a quick nod of the head, I pulled her into a complete hug, "Nine it is, then."

***

Less than ten chapters left before the epilogue. Who's ready for the ride? (;