Trigger warning

I don't even get why Carl wants me!
1.)I'm ugly
2.)I'm not special
3.)I'm worthless

For every reason I hate myself I gets a cut.i have 10 in each arm and 2 big cuts on my stomach. I hide my razors in a jewelry box that Carl got me on a run ,a total of 4 razors. I usually do it when Carl's are on runs or even when everyone is sleeping.
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I waited by the gate for Carl came back from his run, not even 20 mins into waiting I saw a car pull up to the gate. gleen and maggie open the gate and let carl ,Rick,michonne in. Carl didn't wait for the car to park, he ran into my arms and hugged me tightly.

"Still wearing that sweater" he chuckled
I pulled away and said "well it's my favorite " I lied,carl was about so say something else but I cut him off by saying "come on dinner is almost done"

>>>>>>>>>>>>after dinner<<<<<<<<<<
You wanted to take off your sweater but you didn't want to show your scars.so you decided to your cell.once you were about to leave carl was gonna follow you but you stopped.

"Carl what ARE you doing?"

"Um going to our cell?"

"Well I'm about to change,how about I meet you out side" I said

"Sure ok" with that carl left

You ran to your cell so no there's  more interruptions.

You yanked the sheets off the bed and covered your cell/cell door.

You took off your sweater and lifted your shirt up to the bar line and grabbed a water bottle and poured it over you.on your arms and stomach. Your scars turned red so they were visible.you put your hair in a side ponytail and flopped on the bed.you started to stare at the ceiling for a long while.probably too long,once I sat up I saw carl with wide eyes,you immediately jumped out of bed and pulled down your shirt.

"Hey w-what are you doing here" you said nervously

"Why?" Carl said lifting your arm

"Y should you care, it's not like anyone cares about me, it's not LIKE YOU LOVE ME?! YOU NEVER SAID I LOVE YOU! AND YOU ALWAYS LEAVE ME AND COME BACK ,LEAVE AND COME BACK,YOU LEAVE ME LIKE ITS NOTHING,YOU MAY BE A BAD***,BUT IM SICK OF TIRED OF YOU ACTING LIKE BAD*** AND LEAVING ME JUST TO PROVE YOUR A MAN?!"

Carl had hurt eyes but I didn't look at them for long, I ran out of the cell with Carl In the back calling my name. I started stunning towards the gate and yelled "open the gates!"
Glenn look confused but still opened the  first one. Then I heard carl said "DONT OPEN IT"
Right in the middle of Glenn closing it,I slid and made it right when it shut.I I'd on the ground for a second and got up and then you heard a gun shot, and you felt a Sharp pain on you right leg.and once you tried to look for who shot you,

you saw a guy with a eye patching.
You knew who it was.

The govner.
With a pathetic smile on his face
You gritted you teeth and look at him.
He is in woods.

You heard carl open the gate and helped you up and took you to Herschel

After Herschel hit the bullet out Rick came in the room.

"Did you see who shot you?"

"Yea"

"Who?"

"The governor was hiding in the woods "

Rick nodded is head

"And another thing carl said he found scars, is that true?" Rick said

All you did is nodded and said "there battle scars"

"Who u battling with"

"Myself"

"Ill bring carl in he wants to talk to you"

U nodded and with at Rick left and carl walked in

"I'm SO sry y/ n ,I'm sry I never said I love you, I'm sry I didn't appreciate you enough,I sry-" but I cut carl off

"You don't need to be" I said

Carl grabbed your hand and said plz promise you won't do it again

"I promise, but the good news is that we are gonna end the governor together" you said squeezing his hand

"Just for you, I love you"

"I love you too carl"