Over and over.

Jaylen POV

 "Jay. Wake up. You're gonna be late or are you taking another day off?" I heard someone shake me. "I'm up. I'm up." "He was right, you are sluggish as hell when you're running late." I heard them laugh as I opened my eyes. "Who was right?" I said now looking at Allure. "Darren. He left me in charge of making sure you got to school on time. He said to beware of your sluggishness and grumpiness." she said as I looked at her confused still. "He left a note for me too. Now up and at em. I woke you up 20 minutes earlier so you can do your morning routine since you had a rough day yesterday." she said as she softened her face. "Thanks. I really appreciate it." I said weakly smiling at her. 

  "You can thank me by getting up and actually doing it. Don't think I don't see you trying to put the blanket over you. Come on." she said now snatching the blanket off me. Ugh, her and him are definitely alike. I grumbled as I walked to the bathroom. "Grrrrr ahhh shooby doo to you to." she said as I gave her the finger.  "This kitty cat reclusive." she said earning a laugh from me as I brushed my teeth. Once I was finished with my hygienics, I returned to my room to get dressed. "Already picked your fit out " she said as I looked at what she had laid out. Not bad. Covered most of the areas I didn't want to be shown."You got ten minutes.  Chop chop." She said as she clapped her hands. "Jesus be a fence." I said as I got dressed.

   A few minutes passed and I was grabbing my book bag and heading out. "I know this isn't much but I think it should be enough to get you on the bus." Allure said handing me money. "This is more then enough. Thank you." I smiled. "No problem. You have a good day." she said hugging me. Smiling, I headed out the door and to the bus stop. If y'all probably noticed, I wasn't getting a rides anymore especially since what happened. I don't mind though. While I was waiting for the bus, I noticed one of Bryheems flunkies ride past me. I guess they would be reporting to him my every move. I guess. I shrugged my shoulders as I got on the bus. "Are you OK son?" a elderly woman asked me. "Yes. No. I honestly don't know how to even answer that." I said as I sighed. "I can see that you have a lot on your mind. You seemed to be spacing out quite a lot. You don't even give me my morning smile." she said as I laughed. "I'll just leave you with this. Whatever it is, I hope you don't let it consume you. Remember who you are and what exactly it is that you're fighting for. See you later sweetie." she waived to me as she got off the bus. 

  Once I made it to school, I took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing." I said as I walked in the building. No sign of Dion and Malika just yet, whew. I proceeded to my locker to get my things for first period. I suddenly felt myself being forcefully lifted in the air. Shit. "Put me down!" I said trying to shake myself free. I tried to use my feet as leverage only for those to be pinned together. I was then tossed on a nearby bench, met face to face with a very pissed off Dion and Malika. I started to speak but was quickly interrupted. "Since when you were you gonna tell us that you wasn't coming to school yesterday?!" Malika asked me. "I'm so-" "Don't you dare say something in which you don't mean. Don't." she said as I quickly stopped talking. "Why weren't you here?" she asked. "I can't tell you." I said as an image of Darren flashed across my eyes. "You can't even tell your own friends? That's crazy." Dion added. I want to tell them, I really do but that'll only make things worse. "How was your 3 day weekend then? I know you enjoyed yourself." he said as I winced at the thought. 

  "Uh, it was cool. I chilled for the most part. Overslept yesterday which led to me just taking a day off." I said scratching the back of my neck nervously laughing. "Bullshit!" Dion said slamming on the bench, making me jump. "Hold on. What't that mark on your arm?" Malika said as her eyes were now focused on that one particular area. "Huh? What are you talking about?" I said thrown off by that statement. She looked at Dion as he grabbed me. "Get off of me Dion." I said as the rage started to build up. "No." he simply said not taking his eyes off of me. "Jay, what is this? You have marks all up your arm." I didn't even notice her pull up the sleeve of my shirt. "What the fuck?" Dion said as he broke his stare and looked as well. I took that opportunity and broke out of his grip. "Why would y'all do that? Play to fucking much." "Play to fucking much?! Do you see either one of us laughing?!" Dion said now yelling. It was honestly scary seeing him like this. 

  I slowly backed away as both of the sped walked towards me. My back was literally against the wall as the both of them were now in my face. "Jay what is going on?! You miss a day of school and when you return, you have all of those bruises on your arm and I know it's not just on that one arm." Malika said. I was trying to formulate words at this point but it was so damn hard. Come on voice, work. "We spent the entire day worried about you. You haven't been yourself last week either. You think we didn't notice? We just didn't say nothing because we figured you probably was anxious due to us having 3 test and a group project presentation. We have no way of communicating with you, so we're always in the dark when you decide to not show up for school." Dion said as I started to tear up. "Jay please tell me you're not doing anything stupid outside of school. Please." Malika said as I shook my head no. "Then what is it? We're your friends. You can tell us anything. You know that." Dion said. 

  "I can't." I finally spoke as my voice cracked. "Fuck!" Dion said as he punched a nearby door, making a dent. Didn't know he was that strong. "Dion calm down. Now you might need stitches." "Nah fuck that M! I'm over here showing him genuine concern and he still chooses to keep us in the dark. I'm tired of hearing him say that shit. We tell him everything that is going on with us and he can't do the same?! He knows damn well that we'll always have his back, yet he still keeps us away like we're traitors. That shit foul as fuck man." he finished as tears rolled down my face. I'm honestly stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. "Now he's fucking crying. Our friend is fucking hurting and there isn't shit that we can even do about it! I feel fucking useless man." he was to the center of the area after that. Malika walked up to me and rubbed my back. "Jay, what's going on? You know you can trust us with anything. You know that. Talk to me." 

  "I can't." I repeated. "Wow. OK. Heh, I honestly thought the bond between us was solid. I guess that was only one sided. I hope whatever it is, it doesn't consume you." she said as she walked towards Dion. I'm guessing he asked her if I told her anything. When she shook her head no, he kicked a trashcan over as lightning crashed. "Dion stop! There's nothing we can do. Now come on so the nurse can check your arm and now your leg." she said as she grabbed him and his things and walked away. I curled up in a ball and cried my eyes out. Do I want to tell them everything that I've been through? Hell yea but knowing them, they're gonna want to take action. I can't have them getting hurt because of me. Why can't they understand that I'm trying to protect them? I already lost one friend, I can't afford to lose anyone else. I sat by the wall and cried for a few minutes as everything that happened this weekend replayed all over again.  

  Then the message from the woman on the bus came to me, "Remember who you are and what exactly it is that you're fighting for". "I can't give up. This is the only way I know how to keep them safe." I said as I wiped me face. I grabbed my things as I looked at rain falling down. I was not expecting this at all. I slowly made my trek to what was now the end of first period. "Mr. Anderson, is everything OK?" my teacher asked as I was confused. "Ms. Amour told me what happened. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask me for anything." she said as I took a quick glance at Malika, who was staring out the window before returning my attention back to my teacher. "Thank you so much for the concern Ms. Hill. I will let you know." I said as I gave her a warm smile. The remainder of the period was awkward as hell seeing as though Malika and me sit right next to each other. She kept her attention on the window while I twiddled my thumbs and stared blankly off into space. 

   When class was dismissed, I couldn't be anymore relieved. I bolted out that damn door faster then you could say Wendy's were handing out free spicy nuggets. I did all that only to be reminded that my next class was with Dion. I might as well jump out the window now at this point. "Mr. G? Do you mind if I move my seat?" he asked as soon as I sat down. "Uh sure. Pick any seat you like Mr. Ayers." he replied. Not gonna lie to y'all, that shit kinda stung a bit. Me and him always sat together and got work done quicker. The class dragged on like hell and I was over here dying at this point. I really didn't want to be here right now. This was another glass I bolted out of once the bell rung. My next few classes breezed right on by as it was lunch time before I even knew it. I heard them making jokes and talking amongst themselves as I grabbed my food as I sat at our usual spot.  I braced myself to actually talk to them and eased the tension, only for them to sit at another table with a few random people. I watched as they laughed and joked with them how they would with me. So this is what and outsider feels like. 

  "Hey. You OK?" One of the kid from my table asked me, breaking my gaze. "Yeah. Was just thinking about the test on Friday. They haven't talked about the scores." I said laughing. "Oh you wasn't here yesterday. Actually, you passed. You had one highest scores in the class." he said laughing. "Word? Maybe I should've asked about in class. Duh Jaylen." I said as I face-palmed myself and he laughed. We spent the rest of the time talking and cracking jokes before the bell rung. The rest of the day went smooth just like before and it was now time to leave. On y way to my lockers, I saw Dion and Malika walking down the hall. I quickly threw my things in the locker and took a deep breath before heading to them. I grabbed their hands and dragged them out of the side entrance. "Get off me." "Sure." I said as I let his hand go and he stumbled back. Smart ass. "I know you guys are worried about me. I really do. I promise I'm not doing anything stupid. If you don't believe me, that's fine but it's the truth. I was actually going to ask if you could get me a phone M." I said pulling out $200 as her eyes widened. "That should get me something nice or at least decent right?"

  "You guys are always saying how you don't have a way to get in touch with me so I want to change that." I said handing her the money. She looked down at it for a minute before actually taking it from me. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm actually trying to make things better." I said sighing. "It still doesn't change the fact that you're willingly leaving us in the dark though." Dion said. "I know it doesn't and I'm trying to fix it. Can't you at least work with me?" I said as he got silent. I turned my attention back to Malika. "So, how soon can you get me a phone? That is enough for one right?" I asked, ready to give her more if need be. "Tomorrow. I'm off today so I can stop past a store and get you one. Yeah this is fine. If it's more then I'll cover it. At least we're getting somewhere. C'mere." she smiled as she hugged me. She pulled out her phone to see what time the store closed. "Oh shit lemme go. This one is about to close soon. I'll see you tomorrow." she said as she released me and sprinted away. 

  I turned back to see Dion still standing there. "Hey, don't be mad at me OK? It's not a good feeling at all" I smiled as I hugged him. His eyes were dead set on the ground the entire time. When he finally looked at me, it low key scared me. He sighed before wrapping his arms around me. "I'm not mad at you. It's just that I always want to make sure you're good and to protect you. Seeing your arms like that pissed me off because there was nothing I can do about it.   I can't protect you when you refuse to tell me things." he said as he sighed. "I know but sometimes you have to realize that you won't always be there f-" "I'll ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU." he said cutting me off. "Always." he said again as he squeezed me. I thank God for him. I broke away from him and looked at his bruised hand. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." he said as he pulled me back to him and walked us to the same bench. We sat there in silence for a minute before I finally spoke. "It's not nothing." I mumbled. He sighed "You're right but you already knew that."

  "I just really hate the fact that you won't tell us shit and when I see you, you arms are marked up. That's the thing about you, you're always trying to take on the world alone, leaving us here to worry and wonder about you. Every superhero needs help. That makes me feel useless and you KNOW I don't like that feeling." he said as I looked down. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you guys feel that way. At all." "Then tell me something!" he yelled as I got silent again. "Please." he begged. "I'm not in a gang, nor am I doing anything illegal that's for sure" (at least not willingly). I saw him breathe a temporary sigh of relief. "You said that when we graduate, you'll tell us everything. You still standby that?" he said looking me dead in my eyes. "May God strike me down." I said with my right hand up. I was honestly debating on telling them earlier since lord knows I may or may not be in this city by then. "I'll be waiting." he simply said as silence loomed over us. I pulled his head on my shoulder as I rubbed his bruised hand. When he gets silent like that, he's normally in deep train of thought, which can lead to dangerous results. 

  This is the best way to calm him down. Me and Malika found this out. He just let out a breath. "You washed your hair, aww shit now." I said as he laughed. "Nigga shut up. I always wash my hair." "Explain Thursday." "A thug had an off day. Don't try to play me." he said as I laughed. "I'll let that one slide since I love you." "You better love me cuz I love you." he said as I laughed. "That's enough on me." I pushed him off me. "Don't do me like that." he said as we walked to the entrance. "Will you be here tomorrow?" he said as a hint of anxious glossed his face. "Duh why wouldn't I be?" I said just realizing what I actually had said. "My fault. Yes I will be here. I can't wait until she gets me that phone." I said as I face palmed myself again. "Me either. Next time I'm making you buy me something to eat as an apology." he said rubbing his stomach. "Fat ass." "Nah it's muscular. Perv." he said as I laughed. Get on my nerves. "Go home. You won't be having me blamed for your disappearance." I said as he stood there. 

   "What?" "Where's my hug?" "I swear your such a child." "You and M love it." "Sadly." I said as i hugged him. "Now go. I'll see you tomorrow." I said as he grabbed my hand. "No. You'll see me now cuz I'm dropping you off. Come on." he said as we walked to his car. We listened to some songs before finally reaching my destination. "Bye see you tomorrow." I said waiving to him as he pulled off. Once he was out of view, y'all know the drill. I was just now noticing that I went overboard on staying out. His punk ass is not gonna be happy about that. To my surprise, he wasn't even here. I walked to my room, dropped my bag and fell face down on the bed. "Get his ass." I heard someone say as my head was now being forced down on the bed as well as some one grabbed me. "Get the fuck off of me!" I said as I tried to shake them off me. "Nah. B said we can get a taste. We're gonna do that. Whether you want to or not. Get his pants." he said as I felt someone sliding my pants down. 

   Lord please don't let this happen. Please. "Stop!" I yelled as I desperately tried to break free. "I'm getting mines and Monty going next." I heard the sound of a belt buckle being unloosened. "What the fuck- Jaylen!" I heard a voice say followed by the sound of loud crashes. The weight that was holding me down was now off of me. I turned around to see Roman being both these niggas up at one time. Come back again and I'll kill you!" he said as I threw one of them into the hallway wall. He locked my door and put a dresser up against it before scooping me up and walking to the bed. "Are you OK?" "No." I responded as I cried. He didn't say anything after that, just cradled me as I drifted of to sleep with tears streaming down my face. 

  Every superhero needs help.

I'm so sorry.

Thoughts?

Jaylen?

Allure?

Malika?

Roman?

Dion?