Next day I woke up with the sound of the loud voice of none other than maasi. Who to my horror was talking on the phone with Rithvik's mother, Payal aunty with such sweetness in her voice and so politely that you'd think she's talking to the prime minister.

"They'd look good together. They would form a nice pair."

"I agree the sooner they say yes the sooner we could start preparing."

"Exactly... kids these days don't listen."

"Yes, sure I'll let you know. Bye."

Even hearing the one sided conversation got me annoyed. It was too early for me to decide which guy I'd get married to and then maybe understand him then get married. I know my maasi always adored Rithvik and even sometimes dropped hints that she'd like me to show some interest in him. So no doubt when his marriage proposal came in she was on cloud nine and that's why it took some time convincing her to at least give a month to decide if he was the guy I'd like to get married to. Fortunately she agreed. Also, in the favor of keeping options open I still talked to Aryan, the guy from America and there were couple others who'd I'd meet.

I called Nina to give her details like I usually do after I meet a guy but she insisted she'd like to hear this one when we meet after work.

Start to end I told her everything about my meeting with Rithvik. After I was done she said,"So are you planning to get married to him?"

"Do I have to answer this to you too... Its too soon to decide." I told her.

"Yes but at least kiss him before you say no cause he's too hot and it would be a total waste if you don't."

"Nina your thoughts are always in the gutter! "

"Come on its written on your face that you like the idea and have been thinking about it. Besides if you'd get married to him you'd have to have sex with him eventually. I say you begin somewhere rather than getting it done directly on your wedding night."

"Geez Nina why are you always so descriptive."

"Oh you poor innocent soul. I know you think about sex whenever you to meet a guy who'd you probably get married to."

"Yes, but its usually along the lines 'Fuck, I might have to have sex with this guy', than the version you're thinking about."

"Yes, but I know that totally opposite thoughts run in your mind when it comes to this guy and it isn't the case just now, it always was. You've always been all googy eyed about him. Also now you are sure that he's into you. Plus he's different from all the other guys you've met, right?"

"He is different and maybe we'll get around doing stuff later. But right now don't you think its a bit weird. He suddenly springing in a marriage proposal, makes me feel special, first at the date then with his flirty texts? It feels surreal. Like its all happening in a movie and not in my life. Like does this stuff even happen in real life? Someone you've known for ages but not really known makes you feel so much different than you ever have."

"Aahana, you think too much.Its a good thing to feel different and be scared. Just go with it. See how it works. If not you can always say no before the month ends. Enjoy it while it lasts."

Maybe she's right and maybe I should but I didn't really want to discuss it anymore.

So I said,"Let's talk about you. How's Kanan?"

Kanan was Nina's current boyfriend.
"Good. But I don't know how long it'll last, he's too much of a geek."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"I just don't think our personalities match, so it won't last long. You know how it is."

I did.She dated a lot and always found a fault with the guy and broke up with them. Some people would say she's slutty, I'd say she's smart and knows that she can check before fixing on a guy. I liked that about her. She's a free spirit whom I wish no one would ever tame.

***
I went home thinking about all the things Nina was saying. Maybe I was worried too much. And this was a good thing. I mean how often had I looked at him and wondered who he really was? I was getting a chance to do one thing I just thought of and never really hoped it would come true. And suddenly it was.

But what of the other dreams that I desperately wished would come true? What about those dreams that were a bigger essential part of me until recently?

Those dreams held the promise of making me a greater person. A person whose parents would be proud of her had they been alive. A person who'd prove her maasi and masaji, who despite having children of their own had taken me in, that their kindness was not after all a waste.

I didn't know how to live without those dreams. But I had failed them and doing a job under someone would never fulfill me as the promise of something greater did.

But while there was a part of me that was filled with sadness that I'd never be who I want to be, there was this other part who filled with joy every time I'd see his text or hear his name or talk with him on the phone. His jokes, his flirty remarks or even the way he'd talk about his day made me feel so good but scared the shit out of me the same time.

I didn't know what to do. I was utterly confused. While my mind told me to be the person I am supposed to be, my heart just had its own rhythm. I wish someone could tell me what to do. I wished my parents would have been here to tell me.

***

Five days had past since my meeting with Rithvik and by that time I again met another guy for marriage. But throughout that meeting I was constantly comparing him to Rithvik. This guy was actually descent but no way near Rithvik's level. I guess when you form a preference you're just stuck with it.

Rithvik and I chatted regularly and we were going somewhere tomorrow morning. Being a Sunday neither of us had a problem with the morning trip except I didn't know this time where we were headed.

I got up to get ready in the morning. And I was even more nervous about meeting him than the last time. I don't know why but my heart beats were rising and I literally could hear them. So much for meeting a person. That's what he was. A person who I was used to seeing around regularly in the neighborhood.

But he wasn't just a person anymore. And the moment he reached and came out of his car, I knew I was smiling like an idiot. He opened the door of the car, I sat in and we drove off And I didn't care where we went.

Author's Note :

I hope that went well. I have tried to make Aahana's confusion sound as real as possible, I don't really know if I have done a good job at it. But do let me know what your opinions are and don't forget to vote!