"You crept up on me and now I have to deal with the consequences."

NADINE

Nadine was numb.

She felt every injury she had, but she was stuck in a daze. She couldn't accept what she knew to be true. Granted, it could've also been the medication Fong gave her to lessen the pain, but Nadine had a strong feeling it was just denial.

Betrayal was the worst thing.

She didn't remember when she was placed back into her room, or when Fong patched her up, but now that she woke up she remained on her bed, staring at her pocket knife, which she'd left on the nightstand last night. She couldn't believe now that she left it. Why did she leave it?

Because she felt safe. She assumed she was safe. That sense of security was gone.

Dante, blinded by rage, was replaying in her head. She could still feel his hands around her throat. Never did he try to kill her, not even when they were at the Academy and Jameson would put them together to spar. "I want you to fight until one of you collapses," he'd say. Dante would always refuse.

And now?

Nadine knew Kristina did something to him. The change in behavior was too drastic to have been anything else. She must've tortured him, broke him beyond repair. Or maybe he'd always felt like that. Maybe he always hated her and was waiting for the best moment to strike. Maybe he got tired of her decisions and how they seemed to put people at risk. Or-

A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts, bringing her back into the real world. "Nadine?" Steve called, his voice low and gentle. "Can we come in?"

She stayed silent, turning her body away from the door. "We brought lunch," another voice offered. Kaia. "You love my pasta."

Her growling stomach betrayed her.

Sighing, she finally decided to sit up. With the medication her headache subsided into a dull ache, but the pain on her torso left her breathless with any sudden movement.

"Come in," she muttered, her voice raspy and coarse. Talking made her throat ache.

She heard the door open, but she didn't acknowledge them until they sat on the bed with her. Steve gave her a soft smile and when she looked down, there was a bowl of pasta in front of her. "Hope it's not too hot."

She recognized Kaia's alfredo pasta, the smell making her stomach growl even more, but even though she was hungry, she still needed answers. "How is everyone?"

Steve gaped at her. "You almost get killed and yet you're worried about everyone else."

"What a shock, I care," she scoffed, mildly offended at his joke.

"Fong is cleaning Dante's wounds. Emilia's devastated and she's scared you'll hate them for what happened."

Nadine sighed. The last thing she wanted was for Emilia to be worrying about that.

"Natasha is making sure Dante doesn't try anything again and Sam is trying to comfort Emilia," he said.

"And Taj?"

"Taj is asleep. He was clearly exhausted." Kaia motioned for her to eat and Nadine did as she was told. The creamy sauce mixed with the garlic did wonders for her spirits, but it still didn't ease her mind.

"And James?" she asked, noting how they left him out of the recap of events. Did he finally get tired of it all and leave? He wouldn't, would he? She couldn't blame him if he did.

Steve paused for a moment, looking down at his food. It almost seemed like he debated answering that, and Nadine's heart started to sink. "He thinks you don't want to see him because of what he did to Dante."

"That's ridiculous," she responded quickly, almost laughing at the absurdity. He saved her life and he thinks she would hate him for it? Baffled was an understatement.

"I've tried telling him that, but it won't work." His eyes settled on Nadine once again. In the proximity she noticed they had specks of yellow that contrasted significantly with the blues. "Because it's not you."

Nadine took her time to process the depth behind Steve's words. They conveyed the feelings that she'd been ignoring so heavily.

Because it's not you.

How was she supposed to ignore them now?

"It wasn't his fault," she eventually said, her heart pounding as she thought of the way he came to her aid. Even though she still hurt for Dante being in pain, she was willing to yell out everything that she actually felt about Bucky, something she hadn't done since they almost kissed. "In any case, it was mine."

"You could not have known, ma chére Nadine." Kaia's voice conveyed her own heartbreak over the situation. Nadine knew that this didn't just affect her, but it also affected everyone else.

Why did this have to happen?

Nadine shut her eyes, trying to force the growing lump back down her throat. "I froze. He was choking the life out of me and I barely did anything because I didn't want to hurt him."

"Hey, Bucky almost killed me. Several times."

"Where is this going?" Kaia questioned, confused by the random story. Frankly, Nadine didn't understand why he brought it up either, but she didn't want to stop him. It was one of the most genuine conversations they'd had in a while.

Steve gave her a look, jokingly threatening her to interrupt him again. "Despite that, I still fought for him. He's my best friend and I hated the idea of losing him. We fight for the people we love, even if they do things that are difficult to explain during that moment."

"We will figure out what happened to him, Nadine," Kaia said, but even though she tried, she didn't sound too reassuring.

"I know, I just... Even after everything, I still want to protect him. And James."

Kaia smiled sadly, reaching over and giving her knee a soft squeeze. The gesture wasn't much, but it did help Nadine feel understood. "You love them."

"I do, I... love them. I love him."

Though the conversation was originally about Dante, both knew who she was actually talking about at that moment.  After wrestling with her emotions for so long because of her fear of having something else to lose, she finally admitted it. She loved Bucky. She'd always loved him. First as a friend, and now...

She loved him so much she sometimes forgot how to breathe when he smiled at her.

"I guess that means I have to start being nicer to you," Steve joked.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, not being able to resist shooting him an eye roll. "You are literally the most polite frenemy a person could ever have. Seriously, how are you so nice even when being someone's rival?"

He laughed softly and conceded with a shrug, which made both women chuckle as well. After a minute, though he maintained his smile, the atmosphere grew serious. "Nadine, Bucky is crazy about you."

"The sky is blue," Kaia drawled, earning an exasperated look from Steve. "What? You said the most obvious thing in the world so I assumed we were listing things that were obvious."

Nadine couldn't help it, she laughed. Her throat still hurt, but she did it anyway. "Continue with your speech."

"My point is," he said, wary that Kaia would tease him once again. "That I've known him for a long time and from what I remember he's never looked at someone the way he looks at you."

She gave him a look. "Is this your way of giving me your blessing?"

"Bucky's an adult, he can do what he wants. I'm just glad to see he found someone. He deserves it. Least one of us should be happy."

At that last comment, Kaia and Nadine exchanged a look. Neither woman expected Steve to be so pessimistic about romance. Then again, she supposed living the life he did really made things difficult in that department anyway.

"Did you leave someone behind, Steve?" Kaia asked, voicing Nadine's curiosity.

"It's complicated," he replied. It was obvious that he was choosing his words carefully. "Well, I finished my pasta. I guess I should..."

"Wait." Nadine placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting up. "Stay. We barely talk and, honestly, I like these talks."

"Okay," he relented, a small smile forming on his face.

Kaia gave him a charming smirk, the same one she gave men when she knew she had them right where she wanted them. If Steve wasn't so melancholic about his mystery person, Nadine knew that he would have been floored. He probably was, if she was to take note of how he averted his gaze a bit. "I promise we will not tease you that much."

"You're actually not funny at all."

"I disagree, I think we are hilarious," Kaia replied. "But to each their own."

• • •

After an hour or two, Nadine finally mustered up the courage to head downstairs. When she treaded towards the living room, she noticed Sam sitting on the couch, reading a book. Emilia was lying asleep next to him, her head slightly resting on his lap.

"Hey," Nadine said, startling Sam a bit out of his reading.

"Hey," he responded, his eyes flickering towards her form. Concern was written all over his features. "You should be resting."

"So I've been told," she drawled. "But I have to talk to James."

He didn't seem to agree with her decision to get out of bed, but he nodded nonetheless. "He's outside in the courtyard. Just don't have sex in the bushes or something."

Nadine wanted to respond with some snark, but ultimately chose to ignore the comment and walked towards the back of the villa. The courtyard was immense, with gardens that reminded her of dead art dealer François's own place, but smaller. It took her a moment to find Bucky, but she found him sitting on a bench, looking at the mountainous view.

Bucky immediately stood when he saw her coming towards him. "Nadine."

"Hey," she said, noticing the bandage on his shoulder. "How's your arm?"

His eyes flickered towards his shoulder once before looking up at her again. A few seconds passed before he shrugged dismissively. "At the rate I heal, it'll be fine by tomorrow."

"Good, that's good."

She loathed this awkwardness between them.

"How are you?" he asked, and she didn't miss the way he looked at her form. There was a certain guilt written on his features that saddened her. "Shouldn't you be resting?"

Nadine was getting really tired of hearing that. "I'll be fine," she assured.

For a moment they stood there, not really knowing what to do. So much had happened in such a short time. Their almost kiss, her rejection, his PTSD, the arena fight, her threats at Kristina, their argument, Bucky's decision to leave, and Dante's attack. It all happened in the span of... what? A few days?

Needless to say, neither of them had been ready for any of that.

"Nadine." Bucky finally broke the tense silence. The way he sighed in defeat made it clear he was tired. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... I just... he was going to kill you and I couldn't stand the thought-"

He stopped himself from continuing. His eyes flickered restlessly between Nadine and anywhere else, a sign that he was debating intensely whether to continue. Eventually, though, he closed his eyes in resignation. "I couldn't stand the thought of you getting hurt," he finished. "Not now, not before, not ever."

"I'm sorry too," she said without missing a beat, taking a few steps closer towards him. "I didn't mean to worry or hurt you. I get so consumed by my anger and... I don't think. I'm sorry."

"You were right, though, it's not that simple. Sometimes you have to play dirty too. I'm just glad that it didn't end as bad as it could have."

"I know, you would have missed me too much," she joked.

"Missed you?" he replied in a mock tone, raising his eyebrows incredulously. "I would have turned your room into a really nice bachelor pad."

She laughed; the sensation made her bruised sides hurt, but she did it nonetheless. Bucky joined in not long afterwards. Both knew the interaction wasn't that funny, but after such an intense time, it was good to let it out. After a few minutes, they finally stopped, but their smiles lingered. His eyes glinted with something that made her a bit self conscious.

"Nadine," he muttered, but when they locked eyes, he averted his gaze, his hands clenching and unclenching in anxiousness as he seemed to struggle to keep his thoughts to himself. "Shit, never mind."

"No, say it," she blurted out, startling them both.

"What?" he asked, brows furrowing together in confusion.

"I'm terrible at this," Nadine said. "You know I don't have a good track record being vulnerable because I'm afraid."

Too late to back out now.

He walked closer to her, until only about two feet of distance was left between them. She could almost feel the warmth radiating off of him, which made her heart do a gymnastics routine.

God, she was terrible at this.

"I'm terrified of losing you," she continued, her eyes trained on her fumbling hands. "Which is why I didn't want to go through with confessing how I felt about you. The thought of losing you... I don't want to go through that, ever. But I can't ignore how I feel about you anymore. I'm tired of running from my feelings."

She heard Bucky take a shocked breath. Was it really that surprising to him? Nadine was sure she'd given off plenty of signs that the feelings were mutual. It was just the denial preventing her from doing anything about it.

"I don't want to be friends, because I don't think of you as just a friend. And the reason for that is because I want to be with you," she said, mustering up the courage to look at him. His eyes were watching her like a hawk. "Because I love you. M-Maybe it's way too soon to say it, but, I don't... I don't know how else to describe it."

For a moment, they just stood there, staring at each other. Bucky's face was hard to read aside from the surprise written all over his features.

"Well?" she asked quietly, returning her gaze down at the ground. "Aren't you going to-"

She didn't finish her words before he cupped her cheek, his lips pressing firmly against her forehead. For a moment, the gesture made her think he no longer wanted anything other than a platonic relationship, but the way it set her heart ablaze made her realize that it wasn't like that.

The cool metal of his fingers brushed against her neck, and the way his brows furrowed in frustration made it clear that he remembered the cause of her injuries. "I love you, Nadine. I'm pretty sure I fell for you the day you took a bullet to the ribs and you started to laugh. I was hooked and I didn't even know it."

His voice was sonorous and gentle, so much so that Nadine was surprised by it. Never in a million years would she have thought this could happen. And yet, here he was, telling her in the most vulnerable way, his way, that he loved her too.

Bucky rested his hands just below her ears, his thumbs tracing the edge of her lower jaw delicately. The corners of his eyes glinted with a contentment that was difficult to describe. "I just want something real with you. Screw anything less than that."

She had always known herself to be -for the most part- a thinker. She always felt capable of separating her emotions from a situation. This wasn't one of them. His proximity made it impossible to think.

So, she didn't.

Nadine closed the distance between them with a soft tug on his shirt, pure euphoria igniting inside of her as her lips finally met his. The roughness of his facial hair contrasted significantly with the softness of his lips and it made her heart race. The taste of his afternoon coffee lingered on his mouth, consuming her with warmth. She felt like every fibre of her being had been woken up, like a sigh of relief.

Finally.

They pulled back for a moment before Bucky pulled her back in again, leaving delicate, quick kisses that made her heart burst and a smile creep on her face.  He chuckled as he felt her smile, leaving one more on her forehead before just settling with holding her hands.

Nadine was about to say something when she heard: "Well, it's about damn time!"

"What?" Bucky said, his glare increasing by the tenfold when he saw that it was Sam. "What do you want, Wilson?"

Sam was unfazed by Bucky's outburst. In fact, he was grinning from ear-to-ear. He seemed more excited than they were. "As much as I hate interrupting a man who clearly hasn't gotten shit for the past who knows how long, I'm here to tell you that Dante's gonna pull through."

"Great." Nadine gave Bucky a pointed look, hoping he knew that they didn't need attitude right now. "That's great."

Sam's happiness quickly faded, though, as he seemed hesitant to speak. "I'm, well, I'm also here to tell you that Dante's awake."

____________________________

A/N: AND THEY FINALLY KISSED

Whew, it's about time. Only took 25 chapters, huh?

Well, I don't know about y'all but I for sure am glad to finally be HERE

But also,,, Dante... That situation is a mood killer damn

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING BABIES I HOPE NADINE AND BUCKY KISSING WAS WORTH THE SLOW BURN

GET READY CAUSE THESE NEXT PARTS ARE GONNA HURT

Love y'all sm bye <3