INSPIRED BY:

MOONDUST | JAYMES YOUNG

ADDICTED TO LOVE | SKYLAR GREY

_____________________________

"And what made it so beautiful is that we were never supposed to happen, and yet, we did."

NADINE

It wasn't difficult to sneak into the pool. The hotel was a small, fairly simple building. Nothing too fancy, and probably only had like thirty rooms at most. The pool was at the back, dimly lit by lights in it with fences protecting it from intruders after hours. That was about as far as it went when it came to protecting it, though, seeing as it had zero cameras and the security guard was pretty occupied flirting with the lady at the front desk, anyway. Since it was after 9:00pm, the key that opened it didn't work anymore. They settled for climbing over the gate pretty easily, with Bucky jokingly letting his towel fall on Nadine's head while trying to impress her with his incredible skill of sneaking into a place that didn't have fortress level security.

"You know," she said as they settled for two seats the farthest away from the gate, near some bushes that may help cover them from view. "I hadn't taken into consideration that the water is probably cold as hell, so maybe we shouldn't get in."

"Oh, no, you came up with this dumb idea, now we're getting in that pool." Bucky started taking his clothes off, leaving him in spandex shorts, which accentuated the muscles on his toned legs. She tried to avert her gaze as he stepped into the pool. She could see the taut lines on his bare back, the colorful lights in the pool reflecting off of the droplets on his skin. His hair was in a messy bun, strands framing his face and the shortest part of his hair at the back falling out.

"Don't be a chicken-shit," he taunted as he caught her staring, biting on the inside of his cheek to hide his growing smirk.

Shit.

"Fine." Nadine pushed her doubts aside and just took her clothes off, exposing her underwear-clad body to the cool air. She adjusted the elastic band of her sports bra, noticing how Bucky had placed both hands on the pool's edge and rested his chin on them. His sharp eyes were unabashedly traveling down her form, evidence enough that he seemed invested in looking at her now that things had changed. The politeness of looking away was no longer that relevant.

"F-Fuck," she blurted out as she stepped into the pool, her body tensing as it felt the impact of the cold water. Nadine crossed her arms in front of her chest in a pathetic attempt to keep warm. "How the hell are you okay with this?"

"I've been frozen for decades, remember?" he joked as swam around her, chuckling as she started rubbing her arms. "Just think about something else. Start a conversation."

"Okay... uh, I don't know... what's your favorite color?"

Bucky stopped swimming at her question. "What the hell, Nadine?" he questioned with a mock glare, feigning offense. "I can't believe you forgot my favorite color."

"I'm sorry, James," she laughed.

"Excuse me, but my favorite color is not a small thing. Not everyone has the blessing of knowing it."

Nadine snorted and rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, are you gonna make me beg?"

"For that?" Bucky said, and he shook his head. "No."

He swam closer until Nadine was forced to back up against the pool's edge, the proximity doing nothing to calm her already shallow breathing. "For other things, however..."

Nadine couldn't stop herself from looking at his lips, making Bucky's smirk grow.  He placed his hands on either side of her, pretty much cornering her between him and the edge. She could see his long lashes in the proximity as he leaned in, his lips and stubbled jaw brushing delicately against her cheek, sending her heart into overdrive at the electrifying sensation. His warm breath against her ear made it hard for her to swallow, until finally, he whispered, "It's blue."

She wanted to punch his face. "Wow. Just wow."

He laughed, the deep sound making her laugh as well, covering her eyes in embarrassment. It was a simple thing, but the sound was gratifying. Was this what it was like? To be completely and utterly enthralled by someone to the point that a smile or a laugh would sound incredible? She figured it should be, but if not...Then she was a goner.

When the laughing stopped, they stood there for a second and smiled at each other, but Bucky's crinkles dissipated when his gaze had centered on something in particular. When she followed it, she took note that he was staring at a gunshot scar on her shoulder, one of the various scars she carried around with her.

"When was that?" he asked, his tone careful.

"Italy, around three years ago I think." She remembered it was during the time Dante was on the run and he'd settled in Venice. She'd been a SHIELD agent still, but that didn't mean she didn't take impromptu trips to see him. Unfortunately, he'd been with Yuna during that time, and chaos followed everywhere she went.

Bucky took a second to process before asking again. "Let me guess, Dante?"

"Something like that, yes," she said, resting her arms on the edge of the pool. "Yuna actually. She shot me."

"She shot you?!"

"Well, she shot at me three times, but one hit my shoulder, the other my abdomen," she replied, motioning towards the one she had on her stomach. He recognized it immediately, probably from that time they went to the beach. "Dante didn't tell her about me so she thought I was sent to kill them."

Though Nadine respected the woman's memory and the fact that she'd been the mother of his unborn child, they hadn't been exactly friends. Hard to be when their first encounter meant Nadine almost died. Plus, Yuna hadn't left The Hand and didn't have plans on doing so anytime soon (until she was pregnant) and that had rubbed Nadine the wrong way. "Our relationship was complicated."

"I figured as much."

She looked at the scars on his shoulder, where the metal had been embedded into his skin. He didn't seem uncomfortable with her looking at it. "Did it hurt?"

"Yeah, it did," he confirmed, his fingers tracing the jagged lines. "Well, the first arm."

"Wait, you've had more than one arm?"

"Yeah. The first one was blasted off." Bucky seemed a bit lost in his thoughts. "It hurt when I first got it, in the forties. Then when it got blasted off, it hurt like a bitch and it left burn marks."

"Holy shit," she replied in disbelief. She just assumed that was the only arm, or if he did get an upgrade, it wasn't because it was blasted off. "That's... holy shit. How?"

"That's a long story for another time... But I deserved it."

Nadine stared at him. Even though it wasn't the first time, it floored her to think that he still thought that way. Before she could think, her hand reached up towards the scars, but she stopped herself midway, closing her hand into a soft fist and pulling back. She didn't want him to retreat into himself by touching one of the most vulnerable parts of him. "Whatever you did," she said. "I'm sure you didn't deserve that, James."

"You know, I like when you call me James," he said. His tone may have been casual, hut she knew it was an attempt to lighten the conversation.

"Well, I'm glad you do," she replied, chuckling softly. "Because I wasn't planning on stopping."

He let out a small laugh, and they smiled at each other for a moment before simply enjoying each other's presence. Silence wasn't Nadine's friend in a lot of instances, seeing as she was rarely completely alone, apart from the occasional times where she needed to get away. But this silence wasn't terrible; in a way, it was comforting.

"Nadine," Bucky called to regain her attention from the night sky. "What's your name?"

"What?"

He paused for a second. The way his eyes averted from her gaze made it clear he was debating whether continuing the conversation. "You said you lost your name when we fought. I mean, I'd figured out a long time ago that Nadine Madaki probably wasn't your actual name but..."

Oh, boy. Where would she begin?

Nadine hadn't used her real name in a long time. When she left Jameson, she didn't think twice when the Widow offered to give her a new alias to her, Dante and Emilia. While Dante chose a new name as well, Emilia kept her name and only changed one of her surnames -their real surnames were Toledo Ríos- to match the ones her brother adopted: Villanueva Toledo. It felt like so long ago. Nadine Madaki, Dante and Emilia Villanueva Toledo were different people from the children they left behind. Their names just felt like they belonged to someone else.

But this was Bucky. He understood what it was like to have lived many lives.

"It's Samira," she finally said after contemplating saying her birth name out loud. The name was heavy on her tongue. "Samira Al-Hashemi."

"Samira," he tested the name. It sounded so strange, like a memory of someone she lost. "It's beautiful."

Nadine shrugged, feigning indifference. She didn't think it was bad, but she just didn't want to be associated with it. "I remember my grandmother didn't like it, so she would call me Mira."

"Mira," Bucky repeated, and though he sounded sweet, hearing the nickname out loud again made her skin crawl. "I like that."

"Please, don't call me that," she said quietly, almost to herself. She didn't want the reminder. "Jameson used to call me that. That was his pet-name, Mira. It's why I changed my name when I joined SHIELD."

Bucky didn't hesitate to respect her wishes. "Okay, Nadine it is. For the record, I think it suits you. It fits the woman I've gotten to know."

"Sometimes she feels like a mask."

"She's not." His hand made it's way onto her cheek, and though it was wrinkled and damp from being underwater, it felt both calm and like she was being set on fire. Very contradicting, but calming regardless. "She's fiercely loyal and incredibly protective. She may have trouble making the right decisions, but she makes those decisions because her heart is in the right place. I like that about her, a lot."

"Well, now I'm blushing," Nadine said, chuckling in embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she reassured, squeezing his hand to confirm she was grateful for his kindness. "It's nice to hear it. And, James, I know you're scared at the thought that Winter is you, but, I promise you, it's not. Don't ever think you're anything less than the great man that you are."

Bucky smiled, but then he leaned in, pressing a short, tentative kiss on her lips. He hovered a few inches away from her, his breath sending currents down her spine and making her heart creep up to her throat. She didn't spare any time in leaning forward and closing the gap all over again. They kissed like they'd been waiting their whole lives to do it. It was passionate, like every fibre of them had been lit, even more so when his hand circled around her waist, his fingers clutching against the exposed skin. When her tongue pressed against the seam of his lips, his breath hitched, hands tightening their grip, which made her pull apart ever so slightly in order to breathe. All she could think about while he pressed warm kisses down her neck was how for this moment, they could forget about their pasts and who they were. They were James and Nadine, and that's all that mattered.

"We should get out of this pool," she whispered, her shallow breaths getting shorter as he traced his tongue up to her ear. Her whole body was ringing. "Go back to the room."

She felt him freeze, his warm breath sending goosebumps down her arms. His hesitance was like someone poured a bucket of ice water over her. "Or not... If you don't want to."

He pulled back to look at her, but made sure to leave little space between them. "No, it's just... Are... are you sure?"

She couldn't stop the snort. "James, I know you're like a hundred or whatever, but I'm not a virgin, it that's what you're worried about."

"That's not what I meant."

It took her a second, but Nadine realized what he meant, especially when he pulled back. He didn't want to hurt her, and what she was implying involved the highest level of intimacy. It was clear that was one aspect that wasn't going to change anytime soon about their relationship: he needed reassurance that he wasn't the person that he used to be, that he was capable of being human. That she trusted him, in every way possible. It was why she didn't hesitate to place his hands on her cheeks. "Hey," she said, her voice tender in order to draw his attention towards her again. "I trust you. But, are you sure? Because if you're not-"

"-The truth? I'm not sure of anything, except that I want something real with you."

Nadine leaned in and kissed him, both as reassurance and to entice him. "What do you want, then? With words, James."

His thumb caressed her lips, the feathered touch making it difficult to contain herself. "You," he replied simply. "I want you."

"Then we'll take it slow."

________________________________

A/N: y'all thought there'd be smut? Lol think again

Oh my god another chapter? In less than a week? YEAH BOY we did that

This is by far one of my favorite chapters. I was hesitant for them to do the deed so early in their relationship but honestly, as a twenty-four year old in a relationship, I realized it all depends on the trust. Nadine and Bucky have been through a lot together, so the trust was there for this to happen imo. Plus Nadine's already had sexual encounters, so for her it wasn't a matter of waiting until they were official, just waiting for Bucky.

WHEW I love my babies so much I can't

WELL FOLKS, BUCKLE UP, CAUSE FROM HERE ON OUT IT'S GOING TO GET INTENSE

THANK YOU AGAIN for reading and a Happy early New Year to you all! ❤️