YIKES

Moo: GUYS

Moo: GUYS WHAT THE FUCK

Kryoz: okay it is way too early for you to be yelling

Fitz: yeah this is meant to be a safe space

Moo: IDC I AM FREAKING OUT

Moo: I THINK THEY BROKE UP

Moo: ACTUALLY I HOPE THEY DID BECAUSE OTHERWISE I AM GOING TO HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Fitz: damn that bad??

Kryoz: you lose in basketball that bad??

Moo: okay yes

Moo: but thats NOT THE POINT

Kryoz: if you dont just spit it out im gonna puke out my heart and eat it whole

Fitz: can you say a normal sentence for once what the fuck

Moo: during basketball we took a water break and brian got a call from someone and the contact name was TWO WHITE HEARTS

Kryoz: so evan called him? big fuckin whoop dude theyre dating

Moo: EXCEPT IT WASNT EVAN

WildHoe: what the fuck

Kryoz: what.

Fitz: IT WHAT

Moo: yeah bc brian was saying all this shit like "i told you i was busy today" and he said he was playing basketball with FRIENDS like didnt name us at all and if it was evan then why did he say that??

Fitz: okay thats kinda weird but like it could still be evan

Moo: okay but then he said "i told you i cant come over tonight. its my turn to cook" WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???

Kryoz: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??

Moo: and the real kicker was when he said "yeah my roommate is home"

Kryoz: ROOMMATE???

Fitz: oh my god its the divorce era

WildHoe: what the fuck was that

Moo: and to top it off he ended with a "LOVE YOU TOO"

Kryoz: HE DIDNT

Moo: HE DID

Fitz: WHAT THE FUCK??

Moo: YOU SEE WHY IM FREAKING OUT??

Fitz: so him and evan broke up then??

Kryoz: no like its fucked either way

Kryoz: like either they broke up and brian moved on WAY TOO FUCKING QUICKLY

Kryoz: or hes using this weird fighting period with evan to LITERALLY CHEAT ON HIM???

Kryoz: oh my god

Fitz: the white hearts are way too friendly for him to have just moved on

Fitz: like didnt he take forever to grt over craig

Moo: well thats why him wnd evan were going slow they said

Kryoz: wait so now evan was like a test run??

WildHoe: we have to say something

WildHoe: like this is too crazy to just stay silent right???

Kryoz: okay yes but also like evan will literally kill him

Kryoz: like they share an apartment this is so bad

Kryoz: im gonna go search my couch

Fitz: ???

Kryoz: when evan gets arrested for murder im gonna bail him out and i cant do that IF I HAVE NO MONEY

Fitz: maybe GET A FUCKING JOB???

Kryoz: im gonna start a rumor about you thats gonna follow you to your grave

Moo: can you two stfu

Moo: we have to be careful if we're gonna say anything

WildHoe: "if"??? what the fuck do you mean IF

WildHoe: we HAVE to say something this is literally awful evan could be getting CHEATED ON???

WildHoe: ill kill brian

Kryoz: evan might beat you to it ngl

Kryoz: okay enough jokes wtf do we do

Fitz: okay before we do ANYTHING we need to confirm our information

Moo: the phone call didnt do that already??

Fitz: the call is def sus BUT we have to consider that it COULD be a family member or someone else aside from a mistress or mister or whatever the fuck the word would be

Kryoz: a whore, thats what it would be

WildHoe: okay judgement

Kryoz: we should get back together

Kryoz: WHO SAID THAT

Fitz: so we need to figure out a way to get into brian's phone

Moo: ugh this would be SO much easier if evan was in on this

Fitz: yeah but he CANT BE

Fitz: because if this turns out to be nothing then what

Kryoz: okay crazy idea but what if it actually WAS evan and theyre just messing with us

Fitz: we need to know what they have each other saved as in their phones

Kryoz: i have an idea

——

ISTG

Kryoz: guys solve a debate for me

Kryoz: is it wrong to save an ex's contact with a bunch of heart emojis

Moo: bro WHO are you debating

Kryoz: my demons

Kryoz: ANYWAYS answer the question

WildHoe: am i saved with a bunch of heart emojis

Kryoz: idk how thats relevant

WildHoe: wtf???

Fitz: uhhh idk i dont have my ex's number anymore but i have swags saved with a blue heart

Kryoz: gay

Fitz: girl fuck you

Kryoz: im down

RoastMasterV2: i assign each of my exes with a number in accordance to how far down they are on my revenge list

RoastMasterV2: the list is too long to share before anyone asks

RoastMasterV2: i actually have a few coworkers on there as well

Moo: well what is brian saved as

RoastMasterV2: "brian"

RoastMasterV2: with two white hearts

Kryoz: okay so we're ignoring the revenge list???

RoastMasterV2: well we could talk about it but you may not like what it implicates you in

WildHoe: this guy gets scarier everyday

Terroriser: ive got evan saved with two black hearts

Kryoz: wait ok so you guys arent fighting anymore?????

RoastMasterV2: no? we're pretty much back to normal now

——

YIKES

Moo: guys i have an urge to be messy

Fitz: bro we havent even confirmed anything literally sybau

Moo: idk what that means but i think im gonna do it

Kryoz: i was about to encourage you until i realized what you meant and now i humbly am BEGGING you to not say shit

Kryoz: its been WEEKS of them fighting i cant take it anymore

WildHoe: yeah i mean we shouldnt start shit if we dont have 100% proof

Fitz: yeah no offense brock but ur not good at being messy

Fitz: and i have a theory

Kryoz: here we go again

Fitz: what if they just switched phones to fuck with us

Fitz: i mean evan literally says he put white hearts for brian maybe they switched phones (maybe even on ACCIDENT) and just started being weird bc honestly they say shit sometimes that i dont even understand

Moo: yeah but then it would've also said "brian" in the caller id and it literally didnt it was just the hearts

——

Fuck Witcha

Lui: been too quiet here

BasicallyIGetFucked: thats so true

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: yeah like where tf is everyone??

Four07: yeah

Four07: wait hold on

Lui: ???

Four07: give me a sec im doing something

——

Group has been created.

Group named has been changed to SUS?

Lui has been added to the chat.

DaithiDeNoPrivilege has been added to the chat.

BasicallyIGetFucked has been added to the chat.

SUS?

Four07: okay guys

Lui: why is it just us??

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: yeah like why do we need a whole chat to ourselves

BasicallyIGetFucked: im not interested in a foursome

Four07: completely unprompted btw that was an independent thought you just had

Lui: why else would we be here

Four07: BECAUSE

Four07: something seems to be happening and i know for a FACT that us four are the only ones who have no clue whats going on

Lui: so we're detectives now??

Four07: yes

Four07: bc if no one else got us WE got us

BasicallyIGetFucked: this is ridiculous why would brock NOT tell me the tea

Lui: true but also

Lui: didnt he drop the match maker thing like out of NOWHERE??

Lui: def sus

Four07: THATS WHAT IM SAYING

——

ISTG

Moo: im gonna kms you cant be serious

RoastMasterV2: yep

Terroriser: its alright tho i mean we're still gonna live together and everything

Kryoz: im never gonna believe in love again

Kryoz: wdym you BROKE UP

RoastMasterV2: we just decided it was better to end things now before it got unbearable considering we JUST moved

Terroriser: yeah

Fitz: nah im with brock im ordering rope rn

RoastMasterV2: its not very effective unfortunately

Kryoz: idk if its rude to laugh at that or not

WildHoe: is this a bad time to bring up our theory

Moo: TYLER NO

Kryoz: yeah i gotta actually agree with tyler here

Moo: what do you have against me

Kryoz: i hate seeing other couples be happy when im single and lonely

WildHoe: i mean would it REALLY make a difference

Kryoz: what if we got drunk and made out

Kryoz: WHO SAID THAT

Terroriser: ??

Moo: well i mean im jusy curious who called you the other day when we were playing basketball

Terroriser: i didnt get a call

Moo: no you did tho and the caller id was two white hearts???

Kryoz: brock im bringing dead flowers to your funeral

Terroriser: idk what ur talking about

RoastMasterV2: ???

RoastMasterV2: what happened

Moo: well brian got a call when we had our water break and it was like two hearts and idk exactly what they said but he said "love you" at the end and i was wondering if it was you but then the other day he said u have black hearts in ur name so

RoastMasterV2: oh

RoastMasterV2: brian can i talk to you for a second

——

YIKES

Kryoz: BROCK WHAT THE FUCK

WildHoe: that was SO unnecessary

Fitz: yeah id hate to be their neighbor rn

Moo: I HAD TO KNOW OKAY

Kryoz: you literally didnt bro they literally told us they broke up and were on good terms and you just had to SHIT ALL OVER IT FOR NO FUCKING REASON

Kryoz: im gonna need to lie in the darkness and think about things for a while

——

SUS?

Four07: guys evan messaged me what should i say

Lui: did he ask you out or something why tf are you telling US

Four07: well i mean he said hes kinda mad at brian rn and doesnt rlly want to talk to "the others" (literally his words) and asked if i was free to hang out

Four07: he said david could come too btw so hes NOT asking me out

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: omg we're being let into the inner circle

Four07: im gonna ask if everything is okay

Lui: why's he mad at brian

Four07: idk???

BasicallyIGetFucked: okay why does brock look like he seriously regrets something???

Lui: im connecting dots that dont even exist rn

Four07: guys crazy idea

Four07: maybe nothing is going on

Lui: the switchup is CRAZZZZYYYYY

BasicallyIGetFucked: yeah like you literally made this gc to talk about a possible conspiracy and now you're acting like youve had ur head screwed on right this whole time

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: all i experience in this relationship is whiplash

Lui: nah bc why are yall actually on the verge of breaking up every other day

Four07: i just dont understand how the thing between me and evan was perfectly fine until like three months ago when suddenly everyone thinks i want him back and my relationship is falling apart

Lui: yeah idk it just feels right

Four07: i need another couple in here this is so fucked up

——

Now showing private messages between Moo and Four07

Moo: istg im actually gonna murder brian

Four07: ?????

Moo: FUCK

Moo: this is so embarrassing actually

Moo: i did NOT mean to text you

Four07: theres no way im next to marcel's name in your phone

Moo: no i was trying to text cam

Moo: PLEASE ignore that

Four07: what did brian do to u damn

Four07: i didnt know you were the type to talk shit behind someone's back

Moo: its a long story i PROMISE I DONT DO THIS OFTEN

Moo: dont tell marcel

Four07: OHHHHHHH so ur doing shady shit

Four07: have u been spending a lot of time with evan or...???

Moo: no

Moo: this doesnt have anything to do with evan idk what ur talking about

Four07: this is NOT an interrogation bro i promise

Four07: besides i actually dont care what ur beef with brian is

Four07: probably the same beef evan has with him tbh

Moo: ???? what does that mean

Four07: nothing

Four07: evan just asked me to hang out or whatever

Four07: something about how hes sick of brian rn and doesnt want to see him

Four07: idk

Four07: i think he wants to go see a movie so

Moo: interesting

Four07: sooooo

Four07: why DO you want to kill brian

Moo: why is evan texting YOU

Four07: fuck if i know!

Moo: well how does ur BOYFRIEND feel about it

Four07: bro he doesnt care

Four07: you dont actually think he thinks our relationship is at risk right

Four07: its just a bit for the gc

Moo: even tho evan is literally ur ex???

Four07: evan does NOT want me bro whats not clicking here

Moo: oh did he tell you that??

Four07: why is EVERYONE acting weird

Moo: im not acting weird

Four07: nah ur literally gaslighting me rn

Four07: just go talk shit to cam before i send these ss to YOUR boyfriend istg

Moo: woah dude what is UP with you

Moo: scott???

——

SUS?

Four07: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AROUND HERE

Lui: david ur bf is finally losing it

Four07: NO ITS NOT ME DONT PUT THIS ON ME

BasicallyIGetFucked: idk scott ur the one whos yelling around here

Four07: i feel like im losing my fucking mind

Four07: AND ITS HIGHKEY YOUR BF'S FAULT MARCEL

Lui: i think we need to give up on gcs

Lui: we havent even had this chat for TWO HOURS and theres already drama

BasicallyIGetFucked: WHAT DID BROCK DO??

Four07: HE SENT ME SOME FUCK ASS SHIT AND THEN JUST STARTED VERBALLY ATTACKING ME CALLING ME A CHEATER FOR LITERALLY ZERO REASON

Lui: woah wtf

BasicallyIGetFucked: what did he send you??

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: and whys he calling you a cheater???? what did you tell him

Four07: okay so like first of all hes got some crazy beef with brian (idk why btw he wouldnt tell me)

Four07: oh actually he told me not to tell u marcel WHOOPS

Four07: but anyways i was like ohhh so u have the same beef evan has with him

Four07: and he was like wtf so i was like yeah evan texted me wanting to go to a movie bc hes mad at brian and doesnt want to see him rn

Four07: and he starts going off on me saying shit like "why is evan texting YOU??"

Four07: "does your BOYFRIEND know about this" like who tf does he think i am????

Lui: oh shit

Lui: something might actually be up with them bc thats ???

BasicallyIGetFucked: why doesnt he want me to know he has beef with brian???

Four07: fuck if i know! he wouldnt even tell me what the beef was

Four07: and ill be DAMNED if i have to text him again seriously wtf

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: marcel i think you have to check on your man bc that is NOT normal like???

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: also like why would i have a problem with you texting your FRIEND??? like obv i dont actually think u like him anymore?????

Lui: maybe we need to have a clean break from most of the group bc clearly that half is on one