BESTIEZ

Kryoz: okay so can we talk about HOW HARD YOU AND EVAN WERE FLIRTING IN THE GCCCC

Four07: yeah like idk how you did that amongst the chaos

Terroriser: in a world of dumbasses all i see is MY dumbass what can i say

Terroriser: dont tell him i called him that

Kryoz: i cant believe love exists

Four07: why do you always say that thats so creepy

Kryoz: dude what happened in canada to make evan SO BOLD

Terroriser: ugh we had such a great time his family was SO nice i cant wait to see them again i wish we couldve stayed longer

Four07: why couldnt you??

Terroriser: evan has to go to court for a work thing in a few days and then the conference is in a couple weeks so he has to make more appearances at the office for like pity points or something

Terroriser: and next week we have to go back to the doctors to make sure his ankle is doing okay and maybe switch him into a boot so he can ditch the crutches

Kryoz: huh

Kryoz: i always thought that if evan would be in court it would be for a crime he committed

Four07: yeah wtf does he do that has him going to court

Terroriser: honestly idk he doesnt tell me shit

Terroriser: all hes said is that he's signed some pretty hefty ndas

Kryoz: like that billie eilish song

Four07: ur so fucking DUMB

Kryoz: wth

Kryoz: brian :( im being bullied

Terroriser: who asked

Terroriser: im bored of this conversation

—

Group 1

Evan: what have i told you people about putting me in random groupchats

Evan: and why are our names locked

Blarg: bc the company literally hates joy and fun :(((( i wanted to name you something crazy bc it was gonna be funny

Swagger: blarg everytime i talk to you youre getting on evans nerves

Evan: hello swagger

Swagger: hi ev!!!!!

Evan: dont call me that

Swagger: :( this is why people dont like u

Evan: well in all fairness im mainly here for the money

Evan: its the most appealing part of this job

Soup: evan is so heartless anyways whats up

Cody: hi guys

Evan: hello cody, i dont think we've met yet. how are you finding things?

Cody: theyre not too bad! im still learning tho

Evan: you'll pick it up soon enough

Blarg: ANYWAYSSSSSES

Blarg: the company wants us to start integrating already so they handed out the seating chart for the conference and basically we all get assignments we have to work on with our group so we are group one !!!!

Blarg: which maybe means we're the top performers now that i think about it bc a LOT of people were whispering when this was announced

Evan: can you just explain whats happening i dont need your life story however tragic it might be

Swagger: wait thats so fucked why am i the only one from my company here

Evan: maybe because youre the only one who can actually reach our level

Evan: what a compliment

Evan: whats our assignment

Blarg: okay well idk how useful you can be evan bc ur still all broken and shit

Evan: nothings broken its just a sprain and im perfectly capable

Blarg: well it doesnt matter since ur taking 10% of my cut regardless

Evan: this is overtime? oh im in

Swagger: evan do you only see in dollar signs

Soup: he literally does bro one time i walked into the break room for some coffee bc we got a new machine and he asked me if i thought the coffee maker meant we'd have a smaller christmas bonus like WTH

Evan: at work im all business but if you must know im actually a very fun person

Swagger: why am i hesitant to believe you

Evan: your plus one is literally one of my best friends.

Blarg: wait you guys know each other beyond work??? this is SO unfair ive been trying to crack evan for YEARS

Evan: no thanks. im taken.

Cody: evan has been nothing but nice to me idk why you guys think hes mean

Blarg: trust that by the end of this assignment youll be sick or scared of him too

Blarg: so can we circle back to evan knowing your plus one

Soup: is it the guy you were telling us about when we did that recon in new york?

Swagger: no actually its the guy that guy was cheating on me with

Soup: WHATTTTT

Blarg: and evan is best friends with this guy?? bro evan you are MESSY

Evan: i told him not to sleep with a taken man but his only other option was his ex who was way more interested in this guy who was a literal psychopath so i mean all things considered it could be worse

Swagger: omg ev you HAVE to update me with all the lore

Evan: stop fucking calling me that

Blarg: ofc evan hangs out with psychopaths

Evan: we dont hang out

Evan: next time i see him I'm slashing his throat open and bathing in his blood. and no one will ever know it was me.

Evan: so is there actually an assignment or are you spewing bullshit as per usual

Cody: youre back in a couple days right evan? i think theyre waiting to see you in office so we can get our assignment in person

Evan: yes ill be back in a few days. i have to attend a court date in a couple days but once i settle that im returning to the office

Soup: can i come with

Evan: no.

Evan: in fact i hope i never have to see you again

Cody: good luck in court!

Evan: thank you cody

Blarg: why is evan only nice to him??? this isnt fair

Swagger: when i talk to evan hes usually really nice i think its just you

Cody: yeah dude i mean why else would evan have a plus one and youre so tragically single

Blarg: these new hires are getting way too comfortable

Evan: hes worked here for six months

Soup: why do you know everyone who works here??

Evan: its almost like im actually a nice person and you all are just insufferable assholes

Evan: see you in a few days. bye.

—

BESTIEZ

Terroriser: what are you losers up to

Kryoz: harsh words :( you really are the love of evans life

Terroriser: well the love of my life had to go to court today so now im home all alone

Four07: dont you have a job or something

Terroriser: i got fired and have been looking but its harder than it looks dude

Terroriser: and evan told me not to worry about it anyways

Kryoz: i wish i could be a stay at home boyfriend

Kryoz: maybe swagger will take mercy on me

Four07: youd have to move to australia to be his stay at home boyfriend

Four07: and what would cam think

Kryoz: ugh i KNOW

Terroriser: are you guys doing anything rn

Terroriser: lets go get food

Kryoz: with what money

Terroriser: evan left me his card

Four07: i knew you were using him for his money

Terroriser: hes almost fully stopped letting me pay for things so i just use his money here and there to make it seem like im listening to him

Kryoz: fuck it im hungry

Four07: yeah same

-

Now showing private messages between Terroriser and RoastMasterV2

Terroriser: ik ur busy but i just wanted to let u know im gonna hang out with john and scott!! were gonna get food and idk what else we'll do

Terroriser: call me when ur out yeah? we can grab dinner

Terroriser: love you

—

RoastMasterV2: just got out

RoastMasterV2: u free for a call?

Terroriser: for you? anything

—

LOCATION: Restaurant

TIME: 5:44 P.M.

"Ev!" Brian slid out of the booth as soon as he laid eyes on his boyfriend, abandoning the pair he had come with. He pulls Evan into a hug and presses a kiss to his cheek. "I missed you. How was it?"

"They just needed me to testify, nothing big. I was mainly there for looks." Evan is ushered back to the table, where Brian had already ordered him a drink. Sliding into a comfortable position was a little difficult because he wasn't scheduled to make the switch to a boot until the next day, so he was still clad in wrapping that was basically a cast, making it hard to maneuver. "What have you three been up to?"

Brian looked across the table, a flicker of recognition swept over his features. He had momentarily forgotten the others were still there. "Oh. Nothing, really. We've just been hanging around all day, mostly."

"We went to a lot of store!" John was cheerful, his hands clasped together and his drink glass pressed against his chest. He looks between Evan and Brian with a huge grin on his face. "I'm so happy to see you two still going strong."

"Is everyone else still being pissy?"

Scott brushed his hair with his fingers. "Big time. No one's been talking in the group chat. I think we've all separated into our little groups for the time being. It's all gone to shit. I think the consensus is to not talk about the breakups and act like they never existed? Which is fucking wild, but what are you gonna do?"

Evan's phone began ringing. "One sec." He answered the call, leaving Brian to continue the conversation. "Hello?" His voice was low and professional.

"What's not talking about it gonna do? Are they trying to hide it or something?"

"Yes, sir. I've been made aware of the project." Evan sank further into his chair, trying not to draw attention to himself. "I have the appointment tomorrow, but I should be right on schedule. I imagine this project wouldn't be anything strenuous...yes, team-building. Oh, Cody? Yes, I think he's adjusting well. Some
of the others are giving him shit, but that's just the office. Court was good. Oh? Very well. Yes, I will keep that in mind. Thank you, sir."

Brian plucked one of the remaining appetizers from the basket, wondering for a moment if he should offer it to Evan then plopping it in his mouth. Evan would've refused anyway; he's still on the phone. "Pretty much. I'm starting to think they want to see how long they can keep it from Evan and I, like that's going to matter any."

Scott shrugged. "Makes sense, honestly. I think Brock's been like super cautious since Evan's ankle thing. In one of the groupchats he was saying how stressed he must be and we shouldn't do anything crazy. But then he also said we should revisit the idea of setting him with John again so who knows if he's thinking clearly."

"Am I really giving off that strong of a vibe that I'm in love with Evan? Because I see how Brian acts with him and there is no way I act like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think John is saying that you and Evan have a wonderful relationship and he'd never consider anything that would jeopardize that."

"What's this about Brock trying to set me up?" Evan put his phone screen-down on the table, swiping Brian's glass and taking a long drink. "Is being single a threat to him or something?"

"Probably just needs something to do."

The group hummed in agreement right as the main courses arrived, the waiter greeting Evan as soon as he set the plates down. "Anything else I can get you gentlemen?"

"I think we're good, thanks." John said. He turned back to the group. "Maybe we should hatch a plan to fix everyone's relationship. See how they like it."

Evan took a long drink, slightly biting on the straw. "What if," he started, "we set them up with each other instead?"

"Why are you saying that as if I'm not right here?"

"Shut up, Scott, let him talk." Brian shushed him with a wave of his hand. "What do you mean, Ev?"

He turned to Brian. "We need to find a way to get them to hang out with each other as if we're playing matchmaker. So, Scott, for example, we'd find a way to pair off you and Brock-"

"Why Brock? Pretty sure he's on David's side and like, totally hates my guts."

"Exactly!" Evan smiled, leaning back into the booth. "He would never suspect we're setting him up, just that he's a victim of unfortunate circumstance."

John interjected. "So, then we would put David and Marcel together." Evan nodded. "That could work. But, why are we playing matchmaker? What's the point?"

"They keep trying to do it to you, right? Let's see how they like being fucked with." Brian scooped some of his food and put it on the edge of Evan's plate. "Besides, it'll give them something else to focus on."

"Do you think it's weird that all of us have dated each other? I mean, like, we have to stop at some point, right? We've done every combination."

"We don't stop until someone breaks the cycle." Brian deadpanned.

"Doesn't Lui have a girlfriend?"

Brian shrugged. "I've never met her."

Scott rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, so let's say for some reason we decide to go through with this stupid ass plan, for revenge or whatever the hell. Do I really have to be into Brock?"

"You know, if you were into Brock you'd have a much better attitude."

"Wait." John holds up his hands. "What if he catches on? Or, like, any of them catch on? Do you think they'd do something crazy?"

"They won't find out. Besides, we can't do it right away anyways. We need to see how everyone acts with each other."

"Again, guys, I'm right here. You do realize you're setting me up too, right?"

Evan chewed and swallowed a bite of food. "This actually reminds me of something I had to do for a client a few years back. Something to do with his wife's affair partner and setting him up with the valet guy to make her feel used. I don't know. I'm a little fuzzy on all the details. Really messy divorce, but we did get invited to the valet's wedding."

Everyone at the table blinked slowly. "What the fuck is your job?"

He shrugged. "I told you. We do a lot of crazy shit. Sometimes we film it. This happened before the group-chat started, though."

"So, we're gonna play matchmaker?"

Evan shrugged again. "I just wanna fuck with them a little."