Mrs. Grainer, a plump cute woman who was stronger for her age, has always shown me affection and graced me with immense love that she was my world now; granny cautiously crept into my heart when it was too hard for me to cope.

I was walking absent-mindedly that day, after days of sad tragedy that hit me a traumatic gear and my parents was no more. It was all so sudden, my heart whimpered like a small child and many neighbors started pouring in. I was unnervingly alone and everything was happening so fast. It was much later that day when Fabio came, and then it was too hard for me keep still, I blacked out with so much stress and tears.

After days of trauma, Fabio went back and the funeral was done. Once again I was alone as my cousin Linda, flew back to Florida when I was healthy and legally permitted to live alone. At times it was happily serene to be alone, but when depression hits and you need someone to hear you cry, the lone corridors will freak you don't need much pressure to cry. I never knew I had a cousin as such and I have never heard from her since then. So much for being family; I used to say whenever I remember the quiet girl.

One fine day after all those drama, I was walking absent-mindedly when I reached the last house in the street with miles of land and beautiful fields stretching out making me feel small, so very small. I wished if father was here with me to see this. I wish if mom could have been there for a while longer. And then it hit me, the reality was heart breaking and I crumbled into a fetal position and cried hysterically. An old lady came rushing to my aid and started soothing me, with cooing words and love, she coerced her entry with waffles and pancakes. She is my granny now. And I could never let her heart ache.

I never realized that I reached her home with so much in my mind. I can hear laughter and chatter, which means Alex, is still there. I will have to see him again. Suddenly, I felt anxious and was about to retreat when Alex opened the door and kissed my granny on her palms and turned around, startled to see me.

"Angela... what are you doing here?"

"I...umm came to..."

"Angel, it's a pleasant surprise to see you again twice in a day. That's amazing, but, don't you dare, this old rag is not going anytime soon. I just found about my children and they are all happily waiting to receive me, so I want to go by their graves and watch wind playing with the rose petals that I am going to shed. I am quite at peace now and....young girl, you are my owner now."

"I..."

"Angela, I told her about it, I couldn't live a lie and oh, her children..."

"I just knew about it, and I was running back to tell her."

"Angel that was mighty kind of you to come back only to break the news, and not like this selfish child who kept this news to himself."

"Grandma, I told you... I didn't know how you will take this and if you had accepted this otherwise, I wouldn't want to lose you because of me."

"That was so kind of you love, now... leave me alone for the rest of the afternoon; I am so tired after both of you. But, I have to tell you how much you both made me feel today. Like a queen, without a crown, so thank you my kids."

I hugged her tight and pecked lightly on her cheeks and watched Alex do the same. It was nice to feel the sun on my face and walk freely without burdening the stomach. Suddenly panic hit me. I was too dumbfounded to reply her; didn't she call me her owner? Ooh, I will have to do something about that. I mentally calculated about talking with Fabio and somewhere in between I was interrupted with a chuckle. Alex.

"Hi dreamy princess, are you dreaming about a white horse and me in a tuxedo?"

"Please...you seem so sure about yourself Mr. White horse, but it's going to be difficult to paste my heart into your framed picture."

"Hmm, you are thinking less about your prince charming."

"I am thinking better without this muddy puddle."

"Hey... where did you even get that?"

"Nothing..."

"Chocolaty in other words, right?"

"Ah, no... swamp..."

"Ok, I get it... come on; let's grab a soda and burger."

"Since, when did I let you cater me?"

"Right now, geez pretty girl, I am not taking you on a date and so stop acting like that and besides, listen, to your brother's advice... on a 'friend's' outing."

"Yea, right"

The evening was pleasantly beautiful and I could feel his eyes dig a big wall in me, but there were no cheesy butterflies and no spark when he touched me. I was perfectly ok and me around him. I was trying hard to flush and blush when he said complements, but, that is not me. And I think I was not ready for a relationship...when all of a sudden he made my skin crawl.

"So, tell me...what make you so secluded?

"Umm... I don't know."

"Ah, come-on, I have been watching you and you are not that typical blushing spark girl. Wither you are trying to be a very adamant and stubborn girl, or you are very much capable of securing your emotions. Whatever it is, why are you so secluded?"

"I don't know, I mean, I don't want to fall in love with every sort of man and be that every single girl you see on the walk. I am reserved and different."

"I can understand, but, um... did you have any bad influence in life to hate dating much."

"I am a damsel in distress who has to experience with everything. That mean, I have never fallen in love, never kissed a guy and never thought about sex."

I was very much startled to see him choke on a piece of cucumber and looked at me sheepishly. He helped himself to a glass of water and tried to say sorry. But, his face was flushed and so red, that he felt embarrassed.

"You are overreacting you know."

"What? You expect me to listen to a girl, so shy and reserved talk about sex openly."

"Now, you are being a girl."

"I don't understand you girl, you are... well different and beautiful. A dangerous mix, if I have to say."

"Don't fall in love, please."

"(In between laughs) how can you warn me against it?"

"I just did and once you did, don't tell I hurt you"

"Why are you so against falling in love?"

He just stared at me with real affection and I was holding myself not to walk out from the diner. After all he was being real generous in ordering me a double cheeseburger and fries with chocolate mousse.

Later that day, he was walking me back home and it felt refreshing after eating from the diner and then resting in the club sipping soda, and now walking through the park taking the longest road to burn the extra cheese I had today. He was silent throughout and I was happy that way. I felt protected but his mind was a puzzle and I am in no position to untangle the mess. After all, love is a very hard matter, wasn't it?

"Mom divorced father because she said he didn't love her the way she thought she did. And after 25 years of togetherness, they separated; just like that."

"That is a mess to be in. I am sorry... I lost my parents myself and I know it hurts."

"I..." Wiping my tears, I turned to watch him look at me amusingly. But there was no crinkle or smile on his lips, only a sweet gaze. "Why do I always open my heart whenever I am with you?" it must be a bad move from my part as I saw him inched closer and cupped my chin with his smooth fingers. Wow, for a man who takes weights, his hands are smooth.

"It must be because we are meant to be together." With that he kissed me, it was a little peck and that was it. He stole my first kiss. As easily as he titled his face, he pulled back hesitantly.

"Alex...you stole my first kiss. But, I have to warn you, you never gave me any tingles."

His laugh resonated through the dark street; I never realized how time could fly out this fast when you are with someone umm... close. His face was gleaming under the street light, he was really handsome. 'Why is it so hard for me to fall in love?' I turned my head and he said: "for a girl with this much fat, I don't think it is easy for you to feel it.

That was it, I pushed him and he fell on his butt still laughing, I clutched handful of fallen leaves dumped it on him. With open mouth, he caught some in his mouth, but I didn't care to stay there and help him, I was already two houses down my place and he poked me real hard. I was not angry, but it felt strange. I felt something in my stomach for the first time. All I could hear was a loud Angela ripping through the air. I closed my door to that.

"I am home."