I chose the most stupid choice out of all the choices I had at that moment.

Apparently, Orias was right not to trust me. And it killed me to even think that.

But someone had to warn Jamie. Especially when I now knew the ways the Agency treated the people who'd long gone rogue. Ice Phantom came way above that. He wasn't a rogue. He was the enemy.

He'd be treated the absolute crap if the Agency ever caught up to him.

I was dreading that very thought because this wasn't just Ice Phantom. This was Jamie. I couldn't let Jamie get hurt. I couldn't.

So I discreetly left the headquarters without anyone knowing about it. Not that anyone noticed anyway.

Then I phoned Jon from the nearest pay phone because I still didn't know where the fuck my own phone was.

"Kid, what the fuck are you calling me from a payphone for?" He sounded concerned and a little bit annoyed, both.

"Jon," I started, but there was this lump in my throat and it felt a little hard to speak. "I..."

"What's wrong?" He sounded a whole lot worried now. "Are you in trouble? Are you hurt worse than that blow to your head? Bullet wound? Tell me where you are. I'll be there in an instant."

That got a laugh out of me. A muffled, strained laugh.

"No, I'm..." I looked out at the busy street. "I'll tell you all about it later. Can you do me a favour first?"

He agreed instantly, because that was Jon, and Jon was the kindest person I knew.

Jon didn't question me why I was suddenly asking him to hack into the Agency's database. Not right then, at least. Instead, he did as I asked (keeping me on hold) and managed to get all the information I needed.

"I'll print it all out." He told me over the phone. "You can come by my place and see it, yeah? Should probably burn it together afterwards."

Burn it. I couldn't believe I was doing things behind the Agency's back.

"Yeah," I whispered, then cleared my throat. "Can you also look up any leads on Ice Phantom's whereabouts? Like, right at this moment."

That caused him to pause for a second.

"What's up with all this sudden research on Ice Phantom, kid?" He asked me. "First you want me to hack into all the confidential files the Agency has on him. And now you want to know where he is. Is this like, your villain origin story?"

I huffed, then laughed again. "No. No, it's nothing like that. I promise I'll explain once I get a few things done."

He fell silent.

"I promise, Jon. Just please hold on to all that for me. I'll visit you soon."

I wanted to get into gear. I almost did--I had a spare suit stashed at Jon's shop. But of course, I couldn't. The suit recorded my every conversation. I didn't want Orias knowing where I was or what I was planning to do. I needed to do this on my own.

So when Jon succeeded in telling me where Ice Phantom was last spotted, I went straight for it.

Defying the Agency. Defying Orias. Just because I cared about that one person I shouldn't really care about.

• • •

The bright sun up in the sky was doing nothing to lighten the chill in the air.

Not one bit.

It was freezing as I swerved past the various trees, going further and further into the creepy woods.

I hoped Jon was right. I didn't know why Jamie would be here, but I hoped he was. I didn't necessarily like venturing into the woods all by myself.

I walked and walked and it got to a point that the crunching beneath my sneakers wasn't just the fallen twigs. There was snow too. I wondered if it had been the weather or Jamie himself.

Wrapping my arms snug around myself, I followed it. The snow, I mean. He must be near, I thought as my usual puffs of air turned into tiny shivers. I wished I had thought a little about this beforehand and not acted so impulsively. Perhaps a jacket right now would've done miracles.

Stuffing my hands under my armpits, I walked what seemed to be miles before finally stopping by a tall tree and leaning against it to catch my breath.

My heart was pounding. And so was my head. I touched the back of it and the small patch of bandage Jade had stuck there. No blood on my fingers, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

I would've probably wasted a few more seconds there if I hadn't heard footsteps and a soft rustle somewhere in front of me.

Cautiously, I started moving again, my eyes wide and alert.

And I froze to an abrupt halt when I made out a dark silhouette a few feet away from me. Could've just been a tree, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't.

Because it was watching me.

"Jamie?" I whispered, then voiced it a bit louder. "Ja--ow!"

I was shoved into the nearest tree, so fast and with such a force that it left me a little winded.

"Fuck." I wheezed, but there was a hand fisted into the front of my hoodie and I couldn't really breathe.

"What are you doing here?"

I coughed, wheezed some more, and the grip around my throat only managed to lessen a bit.

It was him. Ice Phantom. Glaring at me with that mask on.

"I...woah." I breathed out. "Didn't...have to...choke me to death."

"What," he gritted out murderously, "are you doing here?"

I blinked and my eyes went wide. "I was looking for you."

"Of course, you fucking were." His eyes were like a storm ready to ruin everything. Everything around him. "Sent them all after me, didn't you? You should be bloody ecstatic right now!"

"What?" I pressed further back into the tree because really, he was seconds away from murdering me. "No...no, I didn't."

"Do you think I'm a fool?" He snapped, a fist appearing in my view before slamming right into the tree trunk behind me. I jumped a little in fright. There was a trail of ice forming on the tree trunk behind me, and the back of my shirt stuck to it.

I didn't dare move.

"No," I whispered, eyes wide, shivering. "I don't...Jamie."

He pulled away so fast, pulling off his mask and throwing it away on the ground. I could see his face and my heart skipped a loud beat.

He was angry. Furious. Like a wild animal. I didn't want to step closer in fear that I might probably get eaten up right on spot.

"I didn't tell anyone." I pulled away from the tree and had to yank on my shirt since it was damp and frosted over.

"Stay the fuck away from me." He snapped his head towards me, speaking through gritted teeth with his hands fisted by his sides.

I felt a wave of frustration rolling over me.

"Fine. Whatever." I retorted, crossing my own arms and taking a step back. "But I didn't. Stop acting like a baby and hear me out. I didn't tell anyone about you. I came here to warn you."

He stared at me, his jaw clenched, and then he laughed. Cold and bitter and humourless. It felt like shards of ice were slowly piercing my heart.

"Don't do that, Jamie."

"No, I'm fucking Ice Phantom." His voice was like that too. Cold and bitter. I hated it, I realised. God, I hated it so much. "The bloody monster. You don't need to warn me."

I shook my head and my legs were shaking a little now. Maybe it wasn't even the cold. I was afraid. Not of him, no. I didn't know what I was so afraid of. "They'll be here any minute now. Please, Jamie--"

"I don't need your help."

"Can you stop for one fucking second?" I shouted.

His eyes glinted. A look so full of hate and murder; a look I knew. We fought like that all the time. With hate. Like he wanted to hurt everyone around him. And maybe that did make him a monster. A cruel monster.

"Make me."

"I'm not here to fight you," I exclaimed in annoyance. "I'm not going to fight you."

"Of course, you will." He was advancing towards me now. "And then you'll realise what a big fucking mistake you made by coming here."

I narrowly missed a blow to the face. I didn't however dodge him when he yanked me close, once again by the front of my shirt. Too fucking close.

"Your Agency was right. Every single thing they say about me is right." His other gloved hand slid into my hair, jerking my head up until I was only seeing his eyes. Until my own stung with tears. "It always will be."

I struggled a little, but he was strong. Always a little too strong. Gritting my teeth at the pain, I rammed my elbow somewhere near his shoulder, enough to get out of his grasp and breathe.

"Maybe." I heaved out, hastily wiping my eyes under my glasses. "But not always."

I lunged at him this time, sending a punch hurtling to his jaw which made my hand hurt a heck lot. Until we both were on the ground, rolling and rolling, and he somehow got the upper hand on me. Again.

Jamie didn't look so murderous anymore as he pinned my hands on either side of my head, his face looming over my own. Angry, yes. But not as much as he did a few seconds ago.

"I wonder what they'll think if they find you dead and rotting over here." He hissed at me. "Searching for me but finding one of their own."

I struggled, then stopped. Because I couldn't. My heart was racing so fast and his eyes--they were Jamie's eyes. I didn't know how to fight him. My glasses were a bit crooked and perhaps it was driving me insane that I couldn't fix them. More so than having him over me.

"You won't kill me." I managed to glare at him, but it came out weak.

He clicked his tongue, his grip on my left wrist tightening until I felt a searing pain running down my whole arm. Like ice running through my veins instead of blood. Like my own blood was freezing over. I grimaced.

"You...won't kill me, Jamie." I forced it out, trying not to gasp when it felt so hard to even move my fingers anymore. They felt numb. And cold. And dead.

"I just might."

"No. You...you said you don't hate me." I breathed out, and it felt like a breath of fresh air when he all of a sudden loosened his grip on my wrists.

"Because I'm a monster." A charcoal black strand of his hair fell over his forehead and almost grazed my own. "Always doing the worst things."

No, I wanted to say. No.

My chin wobbled and I squeezed my eyes shut. So tight. Because, holy fuck, I was crying and I couldn't hold it in. I tried. God, I tried so hard. I tried thinking of Orias and his words. Crying would make me weak. But wasn't I already weak? It wouldn't matter anyway. I was a fool. I made stupid mistakes all the time. I did things I wasn't supposed to do.

My breath hitched and so did my chest as I broke down. Tears forming beneath my closed eyelids and slipping away. I let it slip away.

I felt, I think, Jamie's grip on my wrists going slack, until he was just holding them, cold fingers over my skin, until his forehead grazed my own. Pressing closer and closer and resting there. Until a strained sob left my lips and he lifted his head, burying his face somewhere between my neck and my shoulder. His heart was beating as wildly as my own. And God, if only he'd just hate me like I was told to hate him. It all would be a lot lot easier then.

It felt like a moment where I didn't really know what was happening. Like a dream. I don't know how long I cried. I don't know how long we stayed that way. All I knew was that Orias wasn't wrong. It did make me feel weak. Because crying made it feel like everything could be fine again when I knew, so evidently, that nothing would go back to the way it was.

The world goes on. Everything changes.

"I'm sorry." I hiccuped. "God...I'm so sorry for calling you that. I didn't--you're not a monster."

Jamie only pressed his lips into the crook of my neck, cold and lingering there for a few seconds. Then he spoke up. "I don't need it."

I blinked open my eyes, sniffling, and he pulled away too, his face hovering over my own but not that close anymore. His eyes were sad. So sad. His hand left my wrist and caught another tear before it rolled down my cheek.

"I don't need your apologies." He told me.

I sniffled again and his hand hovered near the side of my head. Fingers in my hair and I thought he'd kiss me. My heart lurched at the thought alone. Scared and beating so fast. But he didn't. He didn't.

"I need you to leave them."

I blinked in surprise, watching as he rolled away from me and got up, taking my hand and pulling me up too. I felt a bit lightheaded but it went away just as quick.

"What?" I whispered, wiping my face.

"Leave them." He repeated, his eyes on me. "I know you won't do it for me. But you can do it for yourself."

I shook my head, sniffling. "I don't understand what you're saying."

"The Agency."

I snapped my head up at him, my eyes going wide. "Right. The Agency. They--They'll be here any second now. Oh God, you need to leave. Like, right now." How could I have just forgotten about all that?

It was Jamie's turn to blink in surprise. Then he frowned. "That's not what I meant."

"No, but Orias has sent men after you. If they...they find you, they'll take you--"

"I can take care of myself." He was still frowning and there was still an edge to his voice.

I could hear rustling from somewhere around us. Footsteps. Someone was here. I had a feeling I knew who.

"Jamie, please," I begged, snatching his mask from the ground. "Go. Get out of here."

I tried shoving him towards the other way right as he put it on (the mask) but then he gripped my arm.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do." He snarled. "I said I can take care of myself. I'm not leaving you here."

"I know that! But they--"

I was cut off when someone spoke from a short distance. "I see someone there. Get the guns ready."

Jamie's glare intensified when I pushed him behind me. Shoved him, since he wouldn't fucking budge.

"There he is!" I blanched a little when I saw who it was. River. "There's--" Apparently, he did a double-take too when he saw me.

"Dahlia?" River started heading towards me, but stopped when he saw who was behind me. "Fucking hell."

Fucking hell, indeed. I looked behind River but the other men Orias had sent were a bit further away.

I glanced over at Jamie. "Go, okay? I'll handle this."

Jamie didn't like taking orders. Obviously, I knew that. "I'm not going anywhere."

River started moving towards me again. "Dahlia, step away. I've got orders. Don't make this any more complicated."

He was just a step away, ready to push me out of the way when deemed necessary. I pressed my back into Jamie, my shoulders clenching in a fighting stance.

Jamie stiffened behind me. "I'll bloody tell you what complicated really is."

I didn't quite wait for any of them both to push me out of the way. Because they both seemed like they would've. Instead, I curled my hand into a fist and punched River right as he stepped near.

He stumbled back with a groan, holding a hand over his face.

All in all, it gave me enough time to turn around and give Jamie a harsh nudge. Then another one.

"Go now." I hissed at him. His eyes were extremely wide as they turned to me. "Please. For me. Do it for me. Go!"

He blinked in surprise like he couldn't believe I would punch one of my own men, looking down at the blood on my knuckles, before finally (thank the Lord) taking a few steps back.

And then he disappeared from view.

I turned back around just in time to be punched back in the face. By River. A much meaner one, by the way. Because I fell back, a thud on the ground, and I could've sworn there were stars above me. Even if the sky wasn't dark at all at this time. Crazy, what the brain makes you think sometimes.

I blacked out in just a handful of seconds.