Secrets are the self-inflicted wounds that retain the ability to kill you from both within and out. It's like a poisonous ink that seeps through your body, bating you to end it before you get caught. I'm dancing across a very thin spider line that'll break at any moment. However, I wasn't sure what it was going to be from. My own sheer stupidity or the colossal amount of negativity colliding with my current situation.

"Baby, what are you doing today?" asks Blake.

My head rolls back as I look up at the ceiling. I love Blake but at the moment his presence it a catalyst fueling my embedded guilt.

"The parent group, remember?" I shrug my shoulders. "What are you doing?"

"Possibly meeting up with Jude," replies Blake.

"Sounds like it could be fun."

"Hmm." Blake leans across the couch and kisses my cheek. "It feels weird knowing I don't have to drive you around."

"I'm an independent woman now." I wink.

"Hmm, my independent sexy woman," corrects Blake.

"I should get ready and so should you." I poke his shoulder and then climb off the couch. Blake closely follows behind me as I walk up the stairs. Once we're inside the bedroom, Blake walks to the bathroom and I over to the drawers.

I fish out a white maxi dress that has pink and orange flowers dotted over the material with spaghetti straps. Stripping out of my comfy pyjamas, I throw them onto the bed and redress in my new outfit. The dress is stretchy and flows over the bump nicely.

As I walk to the bathroom, a dull throbbing pain shoots through my lower abdomen. I backtrack and take a seat on the bed. The soft cushion seems to somewhat soothe the dull sensation. I lay on the bed and take some relaxing breath. I can't be in labour because it's too early, maybe it's one of those pre-false labour things?

Shortly after, the bathroom door opens and Blake steps out. He has a towel wrapped around his lower torso and the water is still dripping from his floppy brown hair.

"Are you okay?" My eyes stay glued to his muscular body as Blake walks over to me. He gently pokes my leg and asks, "Baby?"

"Oh right, me?" I shake my head.

"Who else, silly." Blake laughs.

"I was walking to the bathroom and I got this dull pain in my stomach," I begin to explain.

"Shit, do you think something's wrong?" asks Blake.

"Nah, I shrug my shoulders." I take a deep breath and then let it go. Blake's face screws up as he takes a step back.

"We're having a small break in our relationship, Ava," says Blake.

"Come on, farting is natural," I explain.

"Whatever came out of you wasn't natural." Blake grabs some clothing from his draws and retreats downstairs. I push myself off the bed and evacuate the bedroom too. I hate to admit it, but that curry last night wasn't a good idea.

As I walk down the steps, I see Blake dressing in the lounge room. He tugs on a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting red shirt.

"Have fun with Jude," I call out.

"Hm, I will," says Blake. "I'm going to pick up my little girl and we're going to have a family dinner tonight."

"Okay, sounds good." I grab my phone off the kitchen bench and take a seat at the dining table.

The idea of going to the parent group is something I'd rather avoid. However, if I tell Blake I don't wanna go, then he's going to ask questions. I don't have a valid reason other than telling Blake the truth or using his curry as an excuse. I'm sure he'd agree they wouldn't want to put up with my farts.

    If I see Charlotte, I won't know what to say. Does she even know? I tried to tell Blake about Kyle's love confession and the fact he kissed me, but as I tried, I couldn't seem to find the words. Instead, the days passed and I ignored Kyle. I couldn't tell him and it's killing me.

    I have this constant guilty conscious following me around like a bad smell. The idea of keeping this a secret from Blake is disastrous to begin with. I don't want to hurt either of them. I love them both. I just can't see a happy ending happening.

    Blake is the love of my life, the father of my baby, and I don't want to compromise our relationship. I don't want to be a single mother, I don't want to face the problems Tori and Blake are currently going through. However, Kyle's been my best friend forever. He helped me get through the toughest times and I don't want to lose him or the memories we share.

But my hormonal mind still wanders to the moment Kyle confessed he loved me. I remember what his lips feel like pressed against mine and the tingles flowing through my system. No, this wasn't something I could confide in with Blake.

    "Don't worry about locking up when you leave, Mum's going to swing by with a few of London's old things," he says.

    "Oh okay." I smile. "By old things, did she buy anything?"

    "Knowing Mum, she probably did," answers Blake.

    "She can't keep buying us stuff," I explain. "We'll never be able to pay her back for any of it." Angela is crazy when it comes to spending money. I'm waiting for the moment she tells us there's a house. But then again, I don't think she wants us to move far away.

    I'll admit, I sort of enjoy spending time with Angela. We talk smack and enjoy ourselves. I just miss her version of an alcoholic drink. I shot of juice, the rest vodka or whatever else she's drinking.

    "I love you and I love her. Just take the presents and smile."

"That's what you say now." I poke my tongue out.

"Hm, yes, that's what I say now. You get used to it." Blake leans down and presses his lips against mine. I cup his cheek in my hand and hold his head. But Blake's phone beeps and he pulls away. I sink back into the chair and pout.

    Blake pulls his phone out of his pocket and frowns.

    "What's the matter?"

    "Jude's going to come over here instead."

    "Great." I huff disappointedly. There goes hiding in the house. Now I'll actually have to go to the parent group.

    "Something wrong?"

    "Oh." I nervously bite my lip. "The dishes aren't done." I try to cover.

    "Don't worry about it, I'll clean."

    "Sounds fab, I'm off then."

I kiss Blake's cheek and collect my belongings, I make my way outside and towards the front of the house. At least I get to drive my new car to the parent group. It's been awhile since I've felt freedom behind a car wheel. The idea of freedom seems a little twisted considering Charlotte is probably going to be there.

The drive to Eden's house isn't long. I take one wrong street and end up fifteen minutes late, but I get there. The front door is always open, so I wonder inside and great the girls. I notice a few new faces but I don't remember their names.

They're plopped on the couch chatting while Charlotte is standing by the window with a small baby.

"Hi, sorry I'm late," I apologise.

My eyes stay trained on Charlotte despite the warm welcomes received by the group. The look of fear consumes her which is enough to tell me what I need to know. She's talked with Kyle and it wasn't about the weather.

A part of me hopes things will work out for the better. Kyle finds his happily ever after and Blake and I run off into the sunset; some crap like that. Though, it's clear that thoses kind of things never happen. You get burnt by the sun, you lose your prince, or the damn horse throws you off track.

Some days life is great, other days, you're trying to make it suck a whole lot less. This is one of those days.

I'm terrified Blake's going to force me to pick and I'm sitting on a crumbling, termite infested wooden fence. I know I can't choose. They both saved me from falling into the black hole I was allowing my life to be engulfed by.

"Coffee or tea anyone?" asks Charlotte. She passes the baby back to the mother and walks to the kitchen.

"I'll help." I follow Charlotte into the kitchen and grab the mugs out of the cupboard.

"I'm sorry I couldn't attend your baby show," says Charlotte.

She presses a button on the kettle and then whizzes over to the fridge to grab the milk carton. Her moves a shaky, jerky, and unsure. This isn't going to be an easy conversation to have.

"Can we talk?" I ask.

"Sure, what about?" Charlotte continues to busy herself with organising the tea, coffee, and sugar into the mugs.

"Kyle," I reply.

"Can we do this somewhere else?" asks Charlotte.

"So you know?"

"Yes." Charlotte pours the hot water into the cups and I hang by the side waiting. If we don't talk about this soon, I don't think we ever will.

Once Charlotte's finished making the drinks, I help her give them out. She takes the baby from Tilly, the new mother, and then excuses herself. I follow Charlotte into the downstairs bathroom where she proceeds to close the door and lay the baby on the changing table.

Without missing a beat, Charlotte undresses the baby and begins changing her nappy.

"Where do you want to start?" she asks.

"I want to start by saying I don't love Kyle like that . . ."

Charlotte grabs the nappy and throws it in the bin. With on hand pressed against the chest, she looks over her shoulder to glance at me.

"The problem is, Kyle's always been in love with you." I feel so stupid because I never realised it. I only ever saw Blake.

"I don't know what to do," I confess. "I'm a mess."

"He needs closure so that you can both move on. Kyle needs to be happy and you hanging around isn't going to make him happy." Anger bubbles inside of me. I don't need someone lecturing me on what makes Kyle happy. I think I know what makes Kyle happy, we've been friends for longer.

"What if that doesn't make him happy?" I question.

"Because watching you fall in love with another man and carry his child wasn't enough pain?" Her words stab my heart. It doesn't hurt because she snapped, it hurts because I know it's the truth.

"I didn't ask for any of this," I reply.

"Neither did Kyle, but it happened. You just have to pick up the pieces and run with it." Charlotte redresses the baby and picks her up. The baby dribbles over Charlotte's shoulder but she doesn't seem to notice it.

"How am I supposed to say goodbye to my best friend?" The thought of moving into motherhood, having a baby, then raising the baby, and everything else without my best friend hurts. I'd always thought we'd have kids at the same time, they'd grow up and be best friends too.

"Goodbye isn't forever, right?" asks Charlotte.

"I'm not sure."

"So?" prompts Charlotte.

"I'll give Kyle space," I reply.     I don't seem to have a choice there.

"I think that's the best thing for Kyle," she explains.

"I hope so," I mumble.

Charlotte and I walk out of the bathroom. She passed the baby to Tilly while I take a seat on the couch. It's hard to follow the conversation when my mind wanders to Kyle. Without choosing, the choice had been made.

This feels like the beginning of a brewing storm. There would be no waiting, no hiding, no shelter, and certainly no umbrella. My world is about to be damaged by the coming storm.