The feeling of Blake's warm chest is soothing to my erratic heartbeat. The guilt of avoiding the whole subject of... has begun to bring a toll to my body and mind. I desperately want to scream it to the world, but I often think about running away and never returning.

Somehow, I think Tori had the right idea. Running away felt like the answer to my problem, but it wasn't going to be a good solution either.

I'm worried about what Blake, Kyle, or my parents will say about this. But mostly, I fear the people who will judge me for this... for the mistake they'll think I've made. For the mistakes Blake continues to make. I don't like people judging me, and I certainly can't stop people from doing it.

I could say it all I want, this isn't a mistake, but people wouldn't believe me. They've got their own opinions on everything and mine wouldn't count. I never seemed to count for much.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket, which sends me jumping upright from the sheer fright of the sudden motion. I shuffle to my side and pull out the device and find a message from Tori on the screen.

'Surprisingly, it's only taken three days for London to pee on Jude. I hope everything is okay with you? Xoxo' – Tori.

As I go to type back, I feel Blake's warm breath tickle the back of my neck. I'd have to respond to Tori's message at another time. I didn't know how to tell her what I was feeling. I'd have to somehow pinpoint what I'm feeling. Sadness, excitement, regret, anger, joy, frustration... I don't know if this is normal for me or if the hormones kicking in. I'm just a hormonal person in general.

"Just three days?" Laughs Blake over my shoulder.

"I was betting the first day," I reply.

"Same." He nod my head with agreement. "Why is Tori asking if you're okay, is there something wrong?" he asks.

"Uh, nothing, no, nothing comes to mind." I quickly smile and nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck to hide my face. Blake wraps his arms around my body and squeezes me to him. I squeal and giggle as his fingers find my ticklish sides. No fair, no fair!

"What are you doing?" I scream.

"What are you hiding from me?" I want to scream out, nothing, but I bite my lips and keep the secret from spilling out. I needed to quire a game plan to tell Blake, I couldn't drop this bomb in the middle of a tickle game.

When I don't spill the answers he's hunting for, he drops the tickles and moves to his seductive technique. As his lips find my neck, I spring up from my seat and walk towards the kitchen with a dazed feeling floating in the back of my mind.

If I let him kiss my neck for long enough, he'd be able to convince me to do anything. Blake knows me too well now. What if he already knows about the test I took? I wonder if he'd tell anyone. If Tori knew, she'd tell me about it.

With some distance between us, I can work out my plan of attack.

I busy myself with finishing off dinner. I grab out plates, cutlery, and begin dishing up the pasta onto the plates. I dress it with cheese and then walk around the kitchen bench to set the plates on the table.

"Dinner is ready," I call out.

"Cool." Blake gets up from the couch and walks towards the dining table. He takes a seat in his usual spot – which is the chair that overlooks the kitchen.

As I walk back into the kitchen to quickly tidy up the mess and soak the sauce pan, I feel his eyes on me. A small shiver runs down my spine, but I try to ignore it. I can't crack under is pressure.

"Aren't you eating?"

"Yes." I nod my head. "I don't want to scrub the pot and the food is hot," I explain.

The anticipation and nerves swirling within my stomach is sickening. I need to tell Blake about this or I might explode into a huge mess. I want to remain cool, calm, and somewhat confident. All three of those have gone out the window now.

I walk back to the table and hesitate. I look towards the fridge and then back at the table. Should I?

"Is there something wrong?" he asks.

"Uh, no." I shake my head, tugging on a tight smile.

I'm going to follow in Tori's step and tell him over a bottle of beer. If it worked for her, it'll work for me. I make a dash to the kitchen fridge and pull out a bottle of beer. I struggle with opening the top, but I get there in the end.

When I place the beer on the table, Blake looks up at me with suspicion.

"What did you do?" Blake chuckles. "You never bring me beer."

"That's because you always ask when I'm making dinner," I grumble with annoyance. "And why can't I just bring you a drink?" I say defensively.

"Okay, that's actually useful to know. I'll ask before you cook dinner." He smiles cheekily.

"Sure." I take a seat at the table and look down at my food.

My mind is racing with so many different emotions and thoughts, it's hard to just pick one and go with it. I want to spit it out – to tell him everything that's happened, but I also want to file this under a tomorrow job. I'm just not ready, nor will I ever be ready at this stage.

"Ava, are you okay?" he asks me, the humour draining from his face.

"I'm fin-" Who am I kidding? Fine would be putting it lightly. "We need to talk," I mutter as I lower my gaze.

"Okay." He nods his head.

Blake places his knife and fork on the table, then reaches across the table to hold my hand. Before Blake can grab my hand, I jerk backwards and place my hand under the table. I don't want him to see how badly they're shaking. Plus, if he touches me, I feel like I might crumble to the ground without talking... I needed to be strong without Blake.

"Please don't hate me," is how I start off. They are the only words that magically come to my mind somehow. Out of all of this, Blake hating me is the thing I fear the most.

"Ava, I could never hate you," he softly says, "but you're scaring me."

"I, ay, I'm-" I mumble, not able to find the words to explain what's happening.

"P-"

"No," I shout, fear consuming me. Does he already know? How does he know? I discarded the pregnancy test in another bin far from here where he couldn't find it. I would have burnt the damn thing if I had time.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to buy you chocolate for shark week," he explains.

"Oh gosh, why are you being so nice?" I mutter to myself.

"Baby?" He frowns with confusion.

"Shit it, I'm pregnant," I spit out in. "Well, the test could also be wrong. Why do people trust sticks you pee on?"

My words catch him off guard because he goes completely silent. Blake drops his curious gaze from mine to look at the table. I want to reach out to him, to wrap my arms around his body and cuddle him tightly, but I sit and wait.

The silence feels like forever, an endless black hole sucking me in whole.

Tears begin to leak down my face in a steady stream. I have to bite my quivering lip to stop myself from breaking down completely. I wait, and I wait, and I wait for something. I wait for Blake's reaction to take place.

Blake can't be silent for this long without being mad. He's like a kettle, a brooding mess waiting to pop. He has to be mad at me for doing this... I'm mad at myself. I can't believe we'd be stupid enough to make the same mistake.

He gets up from the table and marches around. I shrink into a ball until Blake grabs me from the chair and forces me to my feet. He wraps his arms around my body and nuzzles my face into the crook of his neck.

"Why aren't you angry?" I sniffle into his shirt. "I'm angry." I cry.

"Baby, I could never be angry at you." Blake cups my face and presses a kiss against my lips.

"Scared?" I offer. Scared is one of the many emotions currently flowing through my system.

"Always. Babies are like aliens, remember?" He laughs, which brings back memories from when we first met.

The image of our first meeting comes to mind and it warms my heart. I can't believe it's been so long since we first met. It feels like yesterday that he tapped on my shoulder and now we're together like this. For once, my high school daydreams had somewhat become a warped reality I wasn't ready to live in.

"What do we do?" I don't know where to go next. I can hardly get my mind around the idea of having a child as it is. But telling other people? No, I'd go to the doctors first and get it confirmed by a professional. At least I couldn't be in denial then.

"Nappies are on sale next week," says Blake.

"It's a good thing we haven't thrown out London's stuff." I half-laugh to stop myself from completely losing it.

"It'll be okay, Ava. We're managing with one child."

"Hardly." I point out.

"I believe in us, Ava. I can believe for the both of us." Blake gets onto his hands and knees and lifts up my shirt. I go to pull it down, but he leans in and presses his face against my stomach. I don't know what he's doing.

After a couple of seconds, he presses a kiss against my skin and pulls the shirt down.

"Don't worry, Ava baby, we'll get through anything life throws at us. You and I, together forever." Oddly, his words didn't feel right, and they certainly weren't comforting. Things wouldn't be alright, I couldn't believe they'd be alright.

Do you think she's pregnant?