#COMM

Chapter 15

My mind was clouded with Aidan's words. I wanted to believe him... but my mind wouldn't let me. Every time I would look at him, I could perfectly picture that scene. It was so vivid... too vivid.

I thought it was just an ordinary day. I was too excited to see him after going on a two-week vacation with my family. I got all kinds of stories for him. And then... I saw him in bed. Naked. With Ashley.

I was stunned. My instinct told me to run away... and so I did. I exhausted everything just to hide from him. I couldn't address the situation. It was too painful for me. They were two of the people closest to me... tapos gagawin nila 'yun sa akin? I felt so betrayed.

"I'm sorry," I said after I listened to his explanation. I wanted to believe him... but the scar was still there. I didn't think words would suffice to make me feel better.

"Margarette," he called me.

Slowly, I shook my head. "I... can't believe you. I'm sorry, Aidan."

I tried to get away from him, but he held my hand. Sinubukan ko na alisin iyong kamay niya, but his grip just tightened.

"Maggie, please. Don't be unfair. I didn't do anything, yet somehow, I lost everything," he said, trying to drown me with his stares. I just didn't buy his explanation. Na tinulungan lang niya si Ashley dahil lasing tapos... paggising niya magkatabi na sila?

Was I that stupid? Couldn't he at least craft a better explanation? Iyong mas believable sana.

Umiling ako.

I just couldn't.

Even with his tears, his explanation... I was just done with him. I couldn't be with him anymore.

"I'm sorry," I repeated... because at the moment, that was all that I could offer. Sinubukan ko ulit na umalis pero niyakap niya lang ako. Hindi ako makagalaw. I could feel his tears. I could feel him slightly shaking. I was making him cry.

Yet I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't give him what he wanted.

"Maggie, please..." he begged. "I already told you everything. Why can't you just please come back to me? I didn't do anything to hurt you..."

"Aidan, I... can't be with you again."

Lumuwag iyong hawak niya.

"Why? Is there someone else?"

Natigilan ako. Was there someone else? Wala naman. I didn't have anyone with me... yet it didn't feel right to get back with him just because I didn't have anyone. I still have myself. And my family. I didn't feel the need to have someone just to feel complete.

"Is it that Jasper?" he asked, loosening his hold.

"No," I replied.

"Then why?"

I removed his hold from me and faced him. "I can only offer friendship, Aidan. That's all. I just can't be with someone I can't trust—"

"Maggie, please! I never broke your trust—"

"That's not the point, Aidan. You can't control how I think. How I feel. Every time I see you, it's her I see. Even seeing you hurts me. I don't trust you anymore!" I told him. "If you can't accept friendship, then I have nothing to give you."

Hurt spread across his face. His jaw clenched.

"Okay," he replied after a few seconds of silence. "Friendship? I'll take that."

But his words... I felt like it wasn't only friendship he was up to.

* * *

After the family affair and all the events we needed to attend, it was finally time to come home—although Saint went home first because of some stupid reason. We all knew naman that he just wanted to come home to see someone. That guy. Nagkaroon lang ng lovelife, kinalumutan na kaming kapatid niya. Nakakatampo.

I was already packing my things when Mom came inside.

"Saw Aidan last night. Are you two okay?" she asked.

I nodded. "Of course, Mom. Why?"

She shrugged. "He mentioned that he's going to Paris to visit some of your friends. Why don't you join him?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Did Aidan ask you to ask me?"

Mom laughed. "What? No. You know I'd never meddle in your affairs. I trust your judgment," she explained. "I just thought it will be a nice vacation for you since you're working hard. And, you might enjoy seeing your friends. It's been a while, don't you think?"

So... Aidan didn't put Mom into this? And he genuinely accepted that we could only be friends?

"I'll think about it," I replied.

"Think fast. We'll be leaving in a few hours," she said and then left me.

After Mom left, I continued packing my stuff. I missed the Philippines already—even the crazy weather. While I was packing, my phone vibrated. I saw Kellan's number. He was texting and I was in no mood to type, so I called him instead.

"Ma'am!" masayang sabi niya. "Wait, loudspeaker ko lang kasi nagseselos daw si Nico ako lang ka-text mo," sabi niya. Napa-iling ako. Parang bata talaga. "Ayan, okay na, Ma'am."

"What's up? Why did you text? If it's about ano na naman, ha..." I warned them. The whole week passed that I didn't even think about him that much kasi occupied ako sa mga sinabi ni Aidan. It was a small victory on my part. Hirap kayang magmove on... lalo na kapag wala naman talagang kayo.

"Nako, Ma'am, hindi po. Tatanong lang namin kung uuwi na kayo kasi umuwi na si Sir Saint," sabi ni Kellan.

"Ma'am, pasalubong," singit ni Nico.

"Ako rin pala, Ma'am," sabi naman ni Kellan.

I laughed. They're really a breath of fresh air. "Sure, sure. I'll buy something for the two of you," I replied.

"Ay, Ma'am, bilhan niyo na rin 'yung dalawa! Baka isipin nila favorite niyo kami kahit totoo naman," Kellan said.

"Fine," I huffed. "But I'm not sure if uuwi na ako..." I replied. I was beginning to consider Mom's suggestion. I missed Paris... and Aidan seemed to be okay with my decision. And the last time I checked, wala naman si Ashley doon. At saka namimiss ko na rin friends ko dun.

"Ma'am, iniiwasan niyo po ba si Sir Jasper? May balak pa ba kayong umuwi?" Nico innocently asked.

"Ma'am, uwi kayo. Kayo lang masayang bantayan! Baka ilipat ako sa kapatid niyo!" worried na sabi ni Kellan. Natawa naman ako.

I explained to them na baka dumaan muna ako sa Paris for a few days. Definitely babalik naman ako sa Pilipinas kasi dun based 'yung work ko. Wala naman akong schedule, so maybe I'd take this opportunity to unwind.

"Ma'am, malapit ng maging biceps na tinubuan ng tao si Sir Jas—"

"Who are you talking to?" Jasper's voice said.

Gosh, heart. Stay still.

"Nanay ni Nico, Sir!" Kellan said in his voice whenever he's talk to Evan and Jasper. "Nagtatanong kung kelan sweldo, Sir!"

Napaawang labi ko. Seriously?

"Alright," Jasper said. "Siobhan will arrive tomorrow. I need you to stop slacking."

"Sir, baka raw next week na umuwi si Ma'am. Dadaan pa raw ng Paris kasama 'yung ex... na baka present na pagbalik dito sa Pinas."

My lips parted. Kellan did not just say that in front of Jasper! Oh, my God! They're driving me crazy!

"What? Where did you hear that?" Jasper said, his voice slightly rising. I held my hand on top of my heart. I needed to stay still. I needed to not be excited about this.

"Chismis lang po... pero baka totoo," Kellan said.

"Tawagan niyo na lang po si Ma'am Maggie. May number naman kayo. Hehe," Nico added.

Gosh. They're crazy! I told them to stop, pero ayaw nilang tumigil!

I didn't hear anything after that.

"Bye, Ma'am. Baka tumawag si Sir tapos maging line busy kasi kausap niyo kami. Hehe. Bye and good luck, Ma'am!" Kellan said before ending the call. They just did not!

Nanatili na naka-awang iyong labi ko nang babaan nila ako ng tawag. I was staring at my phone like an idiot... I didn't even have Jasper's number. He had mine... but I didn't have his because I never found the need to have his number. He's always around me, kaya bakit ko hihingin 'yung number niya?

But this stupid part of me got excited. Nakaka-inis.

I began to harshly threw my clothes inside my bag.

"Oh, shut up, Maggie. Just get your ass to Paris. You need another week to calm yourself down," I berated myself. "It was just his voice, kilig ka na agad? Paano pa if you see him again? Gosh, sobrang marupok, Maggie. Hindi ka pinalaki ng ganyan."

Jasper officially turned me into a crazy woman.

As I was in the middle of packing like some deranged woman, my phone vibrated. Then my heart raced.

Gosh. This was so, so bad.

Unknown number: When are you coming home?

My hands were slightly trembling as I reached for my phone.

Me: Who's this?

I bit my lip, and then quickly saved his number into Dull Boy tapos may sparkles sa gilid para cute.

Dull Boy: Jasper

Me: Jasper? I know lots of Jasper.

I swore, I could almost see him sighing because I was being hard on him.

Dull Boy: First Lieutenant Jasper Alexander Ybañez, Ma'am.

Ang gwapo ng pangalan pati rank. Nakaka-inis. Why was I this weak?

Me: Aaaaaaah. So, why did you text?

Dull Boy: Are you going home as scheduled, Ma'am?

Me: Not sure.

Dull Boy: Can you be certain, Ma'am?

Me: Hindi e. I'm thinking of swinging by sa Paris for a week.

Tapos hindi na nagreply! Kainis! Para tuloy akong puppy na inagawa ng chew toy. I continued packing my things na lang dahil feeling ko talaga sa Paris na ako didiretso, e. I'd just stuff myself with macaron to feel good again. I'd just jog to death pag-uwi ko.

When I was done and booking flight online, my phone vibrated again. It was Kellan. I didn't even bother to open his message. I just wouldn't participate in Jasper's push and pull game. I had my own life pa rin. Until he couldn't decide on what he really wanted, I'd live my life.

When I finished booking my ticket, lumabas na ako at saka nagpa-drive papunta sa airport. I turned my phone off because seriously, I needed an alone time. I was going to Paris and I couldn't have Jasper confuse me with his mind games.

While waiting for boarding, I sighed and opened my phone. Kainis.

Kellan: Ma'am, nagpupush up na naman! Ginalit niyo na naman :( Patay kami ni Nico :(