#COMM

Chapter 38

"Siobhan."

My eyes darted to my grandfather who was looking at me like I was the biggest disappointment in the family. I knew that if he had his way, puro lalaki ang gusto niyang maging apo. What's the use of having a girl, anyway? We're just good when we're married off to some powerful family. Iyon lang naman ang tingin niya sa amin.

I could feel my entire body shaking in anger as I welcomed his stare. Justin stood beside me, amused with the situation he created. Why wouldn't he just disappear from my life?! Why did he enjoy making me suffer so much? May nagawa ba ako sa kanya?!

Hindi ako makapagsalita. I knew that the moment I let myself talk, I'd quickly regret every word that would come out of my mouth. I fisted my hands, and looked at him... I wanted to beg... If he's still family... If he still sees me as family...

"Abuelo..." I begged, my voice laced with cry for help.

"Beg harder," Justin whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes, and breathed deeper. I needed to calm down. I needed to find a way to turn this situation around. I couldn't let those guys go to war! Not at my expense! I wouldn't know how I'd be able to live with myself if something happens to them! Dahil sa akin! Dahil kay Justin!

"Abuelo..." I repeated. I looked at him. Kung apo ba talaga niya ako... he wouldn't put me in this situation. He wouldn't let my conscience kill me because if something happens to any of them... I'd die. I'd seriously die. "Por favor no."

His forehead creased. "Por qué? Eres amigo de esos soldados?" he asked. I looked at him. Was it important if I were friends with those soldiers? Hindi ba sila tao? Bakit ba ang dali lang para sa iba na itapon ang buhay ng ibang tao?

What's human without humanity?

"Sí. No quiero que mueran."

I could see the disapproval in his eyes. "Por qué debería estar de acuerdo con esto?"

Huminga muli ako nang malalim. I knew this would happen... Hindi siya papayag na wala siyang makuha sa paghiling ko na 'wag dalhin sina Evan sa kung saan man sila balak dalhin. Was this Justin's plan all along? To fucking scare me into giving in? Because it's working! I'd rather be scared to death than to send them to a war!

"Cualquier cosa," I replied. I'd do anything... Just to stop this madness. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. May pamilya sila. May mga nagmamahal sa kanila. I wouldn't be able to carry the guilt if ever something happens to them.

Abuelo nodded. "All right," he said, then looked at Justin who seemed lost. Abuelo didn't say a thing, but he just tapped Justin's shoulder... as if this was the plan all along. Na iparinig sa akin iyong mga mangyayari. To torture me into giving in.

Halos mapa-hawak ako sa railings nang magsimulang maglakad paalis si Abuelo. Napa-hawak ako sa dibdib ko. I couldn't breathe. I could feel my body shaking with fear. Shit.

"So disrespectful," Justin said. "You know I can't understand Spanish."

I looked at him. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I hated him so much! Bakit ba siya nabuhay?! Bakit ba siya napunta sa buhay ko?! Why did he enjoy torturing me so much?! Bakit ba dinadamay niya sila Evan na wala namang kasalanan sa kanya?!

"What do you want?" I asked him. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha ko. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want him to see me breaking. But I was so angry that I couldn't control myself anymore!

"Hmm..." He looked at me. He held my chin, and looked at my face. "First, I want you to dump that boyfriend of yours."

"No."

Umiling siya. "No, that's not the answer I want to hear."

"Justin, please..." nagmamakaawang sabi ko sa kanya. What did he want from me?! "Don't do this."

"Where's the fierce Siobhan Margarette, huh? Are you really crying? For that boy?"

I could feel the tears flowing from my eyes. I have never felt so low in my life. I have never begged for anything in my life... but I was willing to beg now. I didn't want to leave Jasper. He makes me so happy. He makes me a better person...

"I love him."

"Not good enough."

"Justin... why are you doing this?"

He shrugged. "Who knows? I just hate your boyfriend's guts. Akala mo kung sinong matapang. Tignan natin kung hanggang saan siya." He wiped the tears with his thumb. "I'll give you 72 hours—that's also the date of departure of your little friends. I want you to break up with that guy, and make it painful. I want it recorded, you know? Just for remembrance," he said before he began to walk away.

As soon as Justin walked away, I quickly looked for Dad. He promised me that he'd help me!

"Where's Dad?" I asked Austin.

"I don't know," he replied. I walked past him, but he followed me. "Is there a problem?"

Hindi ako sumagot. What if sila naman ang guluhin ni Justin? I couldn't do that to any of my brothers. I couldn't even do that to any of my cousins! Parang ngayon ko lang naiintindihan kung gaano ka-seryoso ang mga nangyayari... Kung gaano ka-seryoso si Justin para guluhin ang buhay ko.

I didn't know the extent of the power of the Ramirez... but if my grandfather bowed down just to get their approval, then that's enough for me to get scared.

"Maggie," Austin called when he didn't hear any reply from me.

I looked at him. I could see the worry in his eyes. I couldn't even recognize myself. I looked so defeated. I hated everything that's happening. I just wanted to run away from here... pero paano iyong mga maiiwan ko? I couldn't do that. I couldn't be that selfish.

"I'm fine," I said through fake smiles.

"What's your problem?"

Umiling ako. "I'm really fine."

"You don't look fine. Is there anything I can do to help?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. I'll manage," I said, smiling as I quickly turned before the tears began to fall again. I didn't want to drag them into this mess.

I couldn't sleep the entire night. I tried calling my father again and again, but I couldn't connect to his phone. I also tried calling his secretary, but she just said that Dad's in a meeting. I asked if it's with Abuelo, but she wouldn't say.

Wala na ba akong kakampi?

Dull Boy

calling...

Huminga ako nang malalim. I wanted to hear his voice... but I was afraid that my voice would betray me. Paano ko sasabihin sa kanya? I knew Jasper. He wouldn't agree. Pero paano ako? Paano kapag pinadala sila doon? How would I go on knowing that I put their lives in danger?

Dull Boy: Please answer.

Lihim akong napa-ngiti. Even in text, he's still so dull.

Me: Why?

Dull Boy: I want to hear your voice. I'll call again.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I couldn't let him hear the worry in my voice. Kailangan kong humanap ng solusyon sa problema ko. Knowing Jasper? He'd probably go with Evan. Sigurado ako. He's not the kind of person who would abandon his people.

And knowing Justin? He'd probably send someone to shoot Jasper.

Mababaliw na talaga ako.

Quickly, I fixed myself. I tied my hair and wore a baseball cap. I also wore a jacket before I walked towards the back part of the house. Living with my siblings, I learned a lot of tricks. Our parents are strict with security, so we learned to bend the rules a little lalo na kapag may mga panahon na hindi kami pinapayagang umalis without at least 4 guards tailing us.

Sumuot ako sa sa maliit na butas hanggang sa makarating ako sa labas ng bahay. I walked quickly until I reached another place for me to go out of the subdivision. From there, I took a cab papunta sa parking space kung saan naka-park iyong sasakyan na ginagamit kapag gusto naming umalis mag-isa. It's shared by all of the GDL-de Marco cousins. Naka-hinga ako nang maluwag nang makita ko na nandun iyong sasakyan.

I got the key that's hidden, and drove myself to Evan's place.

'Go out,' I sent to Jasper. A few seconds later, I saw the gate opening. Jasper was wearing cargo shorts and white shirt. Agad akong napa-ngiti. How dare Justin want to hurt this human being? He's tough on the outside, but Jasper's one of the most caring people I knew... The fact that he volunteered to get beaten in behalf of Nico? That's proof enough that I needed to protect Jasper myself because if no one would? He'd sacrifice himself. I was sure of that.

"Hey," I said when I rolled the window down.

Agad na naglakad papunta sa akin si Jasper. I like it when he's walking towards me. The way his eyes were on me? As if I'm the only one he could see.

Kumunot ang noo niya. Instead of looking at me, doon siya naka-focus na wala akong kasama sa sasakyan. And then, he looked behind me. No cars tailing me.

"Did you come here alone?" he asked, his voice pissed.

I nodded. "Yeah... You said you want to hear my voice, right?"

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ni First Lieutenant. "Siobhan—"

"Just hop in," I said. Hindi siya gumalaw, obviously annoyed by my decision to come here alone. I knew I was reckless, but I just wanted to see him. Iyong kaming dalawa lang. Without anyone following us or watching us. I think we deserve this... after everything that happened.

"Come on..." I continued. "If you won't get in, I'll just drive back. Sayang naman effort ko magdrive alone."

"Move over," Jasper said.

"I'll drive."

He didn't say a word; instead, his stares did the talking. Nang tignan ko si Jasper, bigla na lang akong napa-lipat sa shotgun. Nakaka-takot pala talaga si Jasper! Ngayon ko lang naiintindihan sila Kellan why takot sila kay Jasper. Dati kasi, natatawa lang ako kung gaano sila katakot kay Jasper... I was just realizing that Jasper's indeed scary when he wanted to be scary.

"Hey... Galit ka?" I asked when he remained silent. "Jasper..." I said, poking his arm. Hindi pa rin ako pinansin. I wrapped my arms around his arm, and smiled at him. "Are you mad at me?"

Ang sungit ni First Lieutenant. Kailangan kong maging extra-cute.

I planted kisses on his cheeks, but he still wouldn't budge.

"Stop being mad na..." I said, planting another kiss. "You said you wanted to hear my voice, so I'm here na."

Finally, after annoying him for minutes, tumingin na siya sa akin.

"When will you realize that your safety is of paramount importance?" he asked, his voice very serious that for a second, I kinda regretted my decision of going here.

"I understand—"

"You don't."

I pursed my lips. Huminga ako nang malalim. I didn't want to fight with Jasper. I still didn't know what would happen... but what if Justin had his way? What if he managed to really get to dump Jasper?

I didn't want to spend the next three days fighting with him.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I won't do it again."

Tumingin siya sa akin. Jasper looked surprised. He knew me. I wasn't the kind of person who'd apologize this easily... but I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to waste time.

"Is there are problem?" he asked.

Was I really that easy to read? Ang daling malaman ng mga tao sa paligid ko na may problema ako... But as much as I wanted to ask for help, I felt like I was the only one who could solve this problem.

"Nothing, no," I said. "Can I ask for something and you promise that you'll say yes without asking why?"

Agad na kumunot ang noo niya. "What?"

"Promise mo muna hindi ka eepal."

Mas kumunot ang noo niya. "Epal ako?"

I frowned. "Ang dami kong sinabi, iyon napansin mo?"

"What is it?" he repeated.

"Promise mo muna."

He sighed. He knew he wouldn't win with me. Masungit siya, pero mas makulit ako.

"Fine," he said. I arched my brow. "Promise," he continued.

I grinned, having won. "We have a house in Tagaytay. I want to go there."

"Now?"

I nodded. "Yes," I said. I didn't bring anything with me. Bahala na. I just wanted to be with Jasper. I wanted to be selfish... kahit ngayon lang... because I didn't know what would happen in three days.

"Why?"

I smiled. "You promised you'd say yes without asking why. You promised, Jasper," I said, and then he started the engine—but not without going back to the house first to get his gun. That security freak.

"What's that?" I asked when he threw a duffel bag at the back.

"Clothes. I don't know for how long you're planning to stay."

"Kaninong clothes?"

"Mine."

"Paano ako? Can I wear your clothes?" I asked, feeling kilig with the thought of me wearing First Lieutenant's clothes. I wanted to do that for so long, pero hindi ko magawa kasi we're always around a lot of people.

Nakaka-lungkot... nagsisimula pa lang kami ni Jasper, pero ganito na iyong nangyari. Ang dami ko pang gustong gawin kasama siya. I wanted to hold his hands in public. I wanted to post pictures of us together. I wanted to make my status in facebook in a relationship.

This was so unfair.

"Fine," he said.

I grinned. "Thanks! You're the best!" I said, kissing his cheek while he's driving.

We quickly arrived in Tagaytay. Thankfully, wala doon iyong caretakers. I didn't want them reporting to my parents na nandoon ako. I just sent a quick text to Cohen saying na I'm on a vacation. For three days, I wanted to disappear.

"I think there's a market near here, so we can buy food," I said when we finally got inside. The house looks neat since someone's maintaining it naman.

"Are you okay?" I asked Jasper since he's been quiet all the way.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

"Wala nga."

"What's the problem?" he repeated.

I smiled. "Why so suspicious, Jasper? I just want to spend time with you before you go back to work. Is that so bad?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"If there's a problem, I want to know."

I nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"I'm serious."

I nodded. "I'm serious, too," I said, kissing him on the lips. "So, please, stop that kunot-noo. We're on a vacation here, First Lieutenant. Learn to relax, will you?"

Jasper merely nodded, but I knew that he knew that something's up. I wanted to be selfish for just a few days. I didn't know what the future holds for us... but before the world falls down on us, I wanted to be with him as much as I could.