#COMM

Chapter 5

Jasper's eyes were wide open. I was pretty stunned with myself, too! I didn't know why I was hell-bent on feeding Jasper. Maybe because I just generally didn't like seeing people not eat... I grew up joining my family in different feeding programs.

Maybe that's the case with Jasper, too.

It's not like he's starving to death—not possible since he's a muscled guy. But maybe it just really felt unsettling seeing him starve himself just so he could properly protect me. I didn't need protecting. I was working as a model, for heaven's sake! The closest thing to danger were those girls trying to ruin my just beginning career.

"You will eat by yourself or do you want me to spoon feed you?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Jasper quickly grabbed the spoon from my hand. It was like he was holding himself back from saying something. This poor boy. I was pretty sure that he's got a sack of restricted thoughts and feelings.

It's like he's always stopping himself from doing what he actually wanted, and doing what he thought was the proper thing to do.

Tinignan niya iyong tatlo. "Take her back to her room," he ordered Kellan and Nico and those two scrambled like babies. So, takot pala silang dalawa kay Jasper...

Jasper must be the leader among the four of them.

"Tss. Nag-alala lang naman..." I said pero umalis na rin ako. Habang patalikod ako, napansin ko na medyo yellow-ish color na iyong bruise niya sa likod. It meant it's healing, I think. Effective kaya 'yung pinilit ko kay Evan na ipainom kay Jasper?

While Nico and Kellan were escorting me back to my room, I asked them. Wala naman kasi si Evan, e. Mukhang mas madaling kausap kapag silang dalawa lang.

"Is he really always that uptight?" I asked Nico.

"Hindi naman po, Ma'am," sagot niya.

"Really? Kahit sa food lang ayaw niyang kumain..." medyo malungkot na sabi ko. Tanggap ko naman kapag binabara ako ni Jasper, pero sana naman kumain siya. It's just giving me unsettling feeling.

"Gusto lang po niya talaga na magawa 'yung trabaho niya nang maayos," paliwanag ni Nico.

"It's not like I'm in danger naman. Peaceful naman dito sa beach. Ang paranoid niya lang, noh?" I asked them, looking for validation but all I got was smile from them.

Seriously, hindi ko na alam paano ko kakausapin 'tong mga sundalo na 'to. Their loyalty lies with each other. Kahit ano'ng tanong ang gawin ko, wala talaga akong makuhang sagot...

I sighed. "Good night," I told them before I got inside the room. Pagpasok ko, I immediately took a quick shower and then prepared for sleep. Nahiga muna ako sa kama since hindi pa naman ako inaantok. I fiddled with my phone for a while before I received a text from Rafa.

Rafa: hey

Me: hey

Rafa: you tired yet?

Me: not really

Rafa: wanna go on a night stroll with me? :)

I got up from the bed and then opened the door. And I was right—Jasper was there.

"Rafa's asking me if I want to go on a night stroll," I told him. Mukhang bagong ligo si Jasper dahil medyo basa pa iyong buhok niya. He also smelled like aftershave—pero syempre hindi ko masyadong pinahalata na ang bango niya. He already humiliated me enough to last a week. Baka pinagchichismisan na nila ako nila Evan kapag wala ako. Ganon kaya ang mga lalaki. Sila Psalm kasi kung sinu-sino ang pinag-uusapan. Ang chismoso ng mga lalaki.

"Do you want to?" he asked.

"Do you want to?" I asked back.

Jasper shrugged. Nakaka-tamad talaga siyang kausap! Para bang pinaparamdam niya sa akin na sobrang boring ko. Wala ba talaga akong sense kausap or sobrang stupid lang talaga ng tingin niya sa akin kaya siya ganyan makipag-usap?

Habang naglalakad kami palabas, my phone vibrated. Nakita ko na nagnotify iyong What's app group namin ng GDL-de Marco cousins.

Psalm: attached a photo

Psalm: lol mom's already waiting for you, big sis

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. That was my picture from earlier!

"You snitched on me?!" sabi ko habang naka-turo kay Jasper. I knew this picture! Ito kasi iyong sakto na naka-tingin ako kay Jasper dahil akala ko—

Tahimik lang si Jasper na akala mo hindi niya ako sinumbong sa parents ko. God!

"They asked for a picture," he simply replied.

"You could've chosen something more appropriate!" I hissed. Sunud-sunod na iyong notification dahil sumali na sa usapan iyong ibang mga pinsan namin. Lahat sila ay excited na na umuwi ako sa bahay dahil alam nila na lagot ako kila Mama.

"You're dressed just fine, Ma'am," he said.

"Jasper, you sent a photo of me wearing a red string bikini to my parents!" sabi ko at saka hinilot iyong sentido ko. Hinarap ko sa kanya iyong phone. "Look!"

Jasper stared at the phone na parang wala lang sa kanya.

"I don't see the problem," he said.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Are you for real?"

"You're in a beach, you're wearing a bikini," he stated.

"But you sent it to my parents!"

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ba nageexpect ako ng kahit kaunting loyalty kay Jasper kahit na alam ko na sa parents ko naman talaga siya loyal. I mean, maybe I expected more? He bruised his back for me! I thought that meant something...

"Do you really want to get me in trouble?" seryosong tanong ko sa kanya. Tinignan ko siya nang mabuti sa mga mata niya. He's just a few inches taller than me, so I could clearly stare at his black orbs.

"No," he replied.

"Do you hate me?"

"No," he replied.

"Then why are you being like this? You're always trying to piss me off. You're snitching on me. You refuse anything I give you."

Jasper looked at me. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiiyak ako sa mga sinabi ko. Hindi ako sanay na may ganito sa akin. Hindi ako sanay na may taong sobrang parang ayaw sa akin. Tanggap ko 'yung sa ibang model dahil hindi naman nila ako nakakasama. They didn't know me enough for their judgment to matter... but Jasper? Ilang linggo na kaming magkakilala.

Maybe I just expected better from him.

"Why are you crying?"

"Because you're annoying me," sabi ko habang sinusubukan na punasan iyong luha ko. Nakakainis kasi tuluy-tuloy iyong pagbagsak ng luha ko. Wala man lang siyang ginagawa para patahanin ako! I was starting to believe that he's a product of some government research! Wala siyang feelings!

He's not just a dull boy, he's now a dull robot!

"I don't have a handkerchief," sabi niya.

"Sana hindi mo ako pinaiyak. Wala ka naman palang panyo!" I shouted at him. He's still calmed kahit ano'ng sigaw ang gawin ko!

I tried to walk away from him, but I sensed that he was still following me. Naglakad ako nang naglakad sa shore habang naka-sunod si Jasper sa akin.

"Quit following me!"

I got silence as a response. What's new?

"Hindi na talaga kita pipilitin na kumain. Kapag nagcollapse ka sa harap ko, dadaanan lang kita," I told him while I was trying to fasten my pace.

Ilang minuto na akong naglalakad hanggang sa mapagod ako. I sat by the sand and hugged my knees.

"Hindi ko pa nakikita si Rafa, pagod na akong maglakad," sabi ko. Hindi ko naman dala iyong phone ko... Nagpromise pa naman ako kay Rafa na pupunta ako. I just felt grateful because I got this project because of his recommendation. Tapos hindi ko siya napuntahan dahil iniinis na naman ako ni Jasper.

Humiga ako sa buhangin at saka tumingin sa langit. There were many stars... sayang wala akong camera na dala. It was so picturesque.

"Jasper, do you have your phone?" I asked while staring at the stars. I just wanted to bother him and try if he'll let me have my way this time. 

"Yeah," he replied.

"Can I borrow? And can you just please say yes? Pagod na ako sa pagtanggi mo," sabi ko sa kanya. I didn't hear anything from him, but I felt his phone on my hand. I smiled to myself. Maayos din naman palang kausap kahit papaano.

I began to take pictures. The sky was so pretty. It would've been better if my family was here, too, kasi mahilig din si Dad na tumingin ng mga stars lalo na kapag may formation.

"Thanks," I told Jasper. Nakaupo na ako. Gusto kong tumayo but my legs were asleep. "Can you carry me on your back?" tanong ko sa kanya.

I knew that Jasper would say no because he's a dull boy. Ewan ko bakit pa ako nagtanong. I just wanted to annoy him like he was annoying me.

"No."

"Tss," sabi ko at saka tumayo. "D'yan ka na nga, hahanapin ko lang si Rafa," sabi ko at saka nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. We were already reaching the end of the property when Jasper stopped me.

"We better go back," he said.

"Ang paranoid mo. Beach 'to. Walang babaril sa akin," I told him.

"Ma'am—"

I turned around with my arms stretched. "See? Walang babaril sa aki—" Pero hindi ko natuloy iyong sasabihin ko nang matumba ako dahil sa bilis ng pag-ikot ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Pabagsak na sana ako sa buhangin nang mahawakan ako ni Jasper. I didn't fall, but I twisted my ankle so bad that I screamed so loud.

"Oh, my god!" sigaw ko nang maramdaman ko iyong sakit. I bit my lower lip so hard that I began to taste something metallic in my mouth.

Jasper quickly kneeled in front of me and inspected my ankle. I was standing and holding on both his shoulders.

Umangat ang tingin ni Jasper habang naka-luhod sa harap ko.

"And you keep on telling me you're in no danger," nang-iinis na sabi niya. "You're a danger yourself, Ma'am."

Kung kaya ko lang talagang lumuhod, kukuha ako ng buhangin at ibabato ko sa mata niya. He really liked pissing me off! Malapit na talaga niyang matalo si Psalm sa category na 'yun!

I glared at him. "I can't walk. You have to carry me!" sabi ko sa kanya. My ankle was really hurting like the b-word! I really couldn't walk—baka maiyak ako sa sakit.

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets when Jasper carried me bridal-style!

"What are you doing?! Carry me on your back!" gulat na gulat na sabi ko! His face was too close! Close enough that his chiseled jaw could slice me open!

He began walking like I weighted nothing. And I was tall! I mean, kahit payat ako, matangkad ako kaya alam ko na mabigat ako. I was all bones.

"I can't protect you if you're on my back," he simply replied. Kahit naglalakad siya, ramdam ko na pinapakiramdaman niya pa rin iyong paligid.

"But this is so uncomfortable!"

Sobrang lapit niya sa akin talaga! Mas naaamoy ko na naman iyong aftershave niya! Bakit ba lumabas pa ako? I should have stayed inside and sleep!

"I don't feel uncomfortable," sabi niya.

"But I do feel uncomfortable!" I shouted at him.

Jasper looked at me. "Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asked.

At dahil wala akong hawak na buhangin, hindi ko alam kung bakit ko siya sinabunutan.