#CTG15 Chapter 15

Shit.

I closed my eyes and prayed that I was just mistaken. Huminga ako nang malalim bago ko buksan muli ang mga mata ko. But the result was still the same...

74

"You okay?" Yago asked.

We're at the mall, just trying to enjoy before the final year of school resumed. Pinilit kami ni Yago at Rory na gumala bago mag-enrollment next week... We were waiting for our food when I decided to check the portal again.

Fuck.

Panic began to spread across my system. I was sure my Dad would ask about my grades and it's not like I could just lie about it... He'd ask to see it from the portal itself...

This was so bad.

The last time someone got a failed grade in our family, it didn't look pretty.

"I... just have to buy something," I said, standing up and grabbing my bag. They asked kung saan ako pupunta, pero hindi ko sila pinansin. Nagmamadali akong lumabas, hindi alam kung saan pupunta. My mind was in a haywire. I knew I could take this subject kasabay ng 4thyear subjects ko... Hindi ako made-delay, alam ko...

But that wasn't the point.

I failed.

And it wasn't an option in my life.

"Are you okay?" Halos mapa-talon ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Jax. I turned and saw him looking at me. "Lumabas na 'yung grade."

I nodded. "Bagsak ako."

"Gusto mo balik tayo sa school? Open naman yata. Hingi tayo ng breakdown ng grades mo?" he offered.

I nodded. "Okay... Sila Rory?"

"Sunod na lang daw. Naka-order na, e," he said before we began to walk. No one said anything. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa. He didn't even ask kung saang subject ako bumagsak. I appreciated that. I was just thinking of a reason that I'd tell my Dad...

Pero alam ko naman kung bakit bumagsak ako sa Torts. Aside from my one-week suspension, ilang beses akong umabsent dahil kinailangan ko ng magpa-check up dahil may ilang beses na natakot na rin ako sa pagdudugo ng ilong ko. Nagka-taon na laging Torts iyong natatamaan na subject.

Pagdating namin sa school, diretso lang kaming naglakad. Ako pa iyong natigilan dahil nakita namin ni Jax si Katherine na naglalakad. Jax continued walking like he didn't see her—he's so good at ignoring her that sometimes, I'd wonder kung invisible na ba si Katherine sa mundo niya...

I was waiting in front of the Dean's office when I heard Iñigo's name. Maybe it wasn't him... Madami naman sigurong Iñigo sa school na 'to...

"Seryoso? 'Di sila umabot sa QPI?"

"Oo... Nagcurve naman daw si Sir kaya lang taas talaga ni Iñigo..." bulong nung isang babae.

The other one snorted. "Connection naman 'yan si Iñigo kaya mataas grades... Kawawa naman sila Gel."

"Grabe ka. Matalino naman si Iñigo. Nakaka-sagot naman lagi sa recit. 'Di naman nadadaya 'yun."

"Matalino nga... pero lalong tumataas grades dahil laging may kopya ng quiz and exams... Tignan mo nanira pa ng curve... Dami tuloy natanggal..."

Were they talking about the Iñigo I know? But even before I could find out, tinawag na ako sa loob.

* * *

I didn't know why I ended up inside a karaoke room, listening to Rory murder some song. They were trying to cheer me up because of my failed grade. I was bummed about it, but I wasn't sad. There's nothing I could do... Pinakita naman sa akin iyong breakdown. It's not as if dinaya or dinarts iyong grades ko.

"Kanta ka!" Rory said.

Marahas akong umiling. Over my dead body.

"KJ naman!" she said. "Ikaw, Jax! Kanta ka naman!" she continued, but Jax stood up and went outside instead. "Ang korni niyong dalawa talaga! Bakit 'di na lang kayo, no?"

I rolled my eyes as I stood up, too. Dumiretso ako sa CR. After that, I decided to go outside to get some air first. Kinakabahan akong umuwi... Alam ko na papagalitan ako... Alam na kaya ni Dad? Siguro. He's got a weird way of knowing news about my studies... It's almost as if may kakilala siya sa Dean's office na nagrereport sa kanya ng mga nangyayari sa 'kin.

You've got to be kidding me...

Nakita ko si Iñigo na naka-tayo sa isang gilid. He's got a stick of cigarette in his hand again. It didn't look like he's stress-smoking anymore... He's really a smoker now. Madalas ko na talaga siyang makita sa school na naninigarilyo. It didn't affect me, though, because we never really talked after he punched me.

He finished his stick kaya tinapon niya na iyon. Babalik na yata siya sa loob nang matigilan siya dahil nakita niya ako. He was standing a few good meters from me. His lips were slightly parted. He looked like I caught him off-guard. It wasn't like I wanted to see him here, too. Bakit ba kasi nandito din siya?

He smiled. Sandali lang. Humigpit iyong hawak niya sa pack ng sigarilyo sa kamay niya. "Pasok na ko," sabi niya na parang nagpapaalam.

"Can I have one?" I asked, looking at the pack of cigarette he was holding.

"Alin?"

"Iyan," sabi ko sabay turo.

"You smoke?" he asked.

"No... But there's a first time for everything," I said... Like me failing a subject for the first time. It was... weird. Maybe the reason why I wasn't that bummed was because it wasn't sinking in yet. Na bagsak ako. Na may ibinagsak akong subject. Na kahit nag-aral naman ako, kulang pa rin.

"Ito na lang," he said, he said after he got what looked like a bubble gum from his pocket.

"Sigarilyo," I said.

"Wag na," he said. "Di naman nakakawala 'to ng problema."

"I'd be the judge of that," I replied.

We stared at each other—he looked like he wouldn't give me a stick. I looked around to see if there's a store that would sell me some.

I just... wanted to smoke. Or do something. Anything. I was starting to feel restless. O baka naman dahil lang ayokong umuwi. Pero sabi ng mga kaklase ko, nakaka-wala daw ng stress iyong paninigarilyo... Almost all of them smoke... Mas marami pang naninigarilyo sa classroom namin kaysa sa hindi.

"Ayaw mo ba talaga nitong bubble gum?" he asked again.

Umiling ako. "I wanna smoke."

Iñigo sighed. "Inom na lang tayo kung may problema ka... 'Wag na 'to," he said. "Mahirap 'to tigilan kapag nasanay ka," he continued, throwing the whole pack away. Parang tanga. Puno pa 'yun, e.

I didn't know how we ended up sitting on the benches outside of a convenience store. We bought beer. I didn't like the taste. But I pretended to sip... Kinakabahan lang ako baka magtaka si Iñigo na kanina pa ako umiinom pero hindi nababawasan iyong laman ng bote ko.

Beer tastes weird.

"Cha..." he said after a long stretch of silence. I looked at him. Hindi rin ako nagsasalita. 'Di ko rin alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. It's been what? Nearly a year since we last talked. We just awkwardly see each other in the hallways.

"Sorry 'dun sa nangyari dati," he continued. "Gusto ko sanang magsorry sa 'yo kaya lang sabi mo sa 'kin 'wag kitang lapitan."

"It's okay," I said. Although at that time, I was so pissed because I had to go through some tests in the hospital to make sure that my head wasn't injured. It was a lot of work dahil ayokong malaman ni Dad iyong nangyari. I had to use my savings. I couldn't use my insurance because then my Dad would be notified. It was such a pain.

"Bayaran kita sa ginastos mo sa ospital."

"Ha?"

"Nagpa-test ka, 'di ba?" he asked. "Bayaran ko pagka-graduate ko... Kahit may interes."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Kanino mo nalaman 'yan?" I asked. Kahit nga sila Jax hindi alam na pumunta ko sa ospital, e. Mga kapatid ko lang nakaka-alam... It's not as if kilala ni Iñigo ang mga kapatid ko.

"May naka-kita lang sa 'yo," he said, obviously didn't want to divulge who told him about my little visit to the hospital.

"Sino?" I asked again.

"Wala," he said. "Pero babayaran kita, promise. One year na lang naman."

"Sino?"

He sighed. "Kaibigan ko—"

"Name? At bakit niya ko kilala?"

He reached for the bottle of beer and downed it. "Gracey... Na-kwento lang kita dati."

My lips parted. That name.

I grabbed my bottle and drank—this time, for real. Halos mabuga ko dahil hindi ko talaga gusto iyong lasa ng beer. Iñigo's eyes widened at mabilis niya akong inabutan ng panyo niya.

"Sabi ko sa 'yo dapat Smirnoff na lang," he said as he looked at me—probably laughing. I was 23 yet I still didn't know how to drink. Hindi ko kasi talaga gusto 'yung lasa.

"San ka pupunta?" I asked when he stood up.

"Bili lang akong tubig," he said and quickly got back inside the store. I watched his retreating back. Itatanong ko kaya sa kanya kung sino si Gracey? But what for? Did I still have a crush on him? If yes... why? It's not as if I missed him when we weren't talking. It was... okay. I was contented with seeing him sometimes in the hallway. I had no urge to talk to him.

Maybe I was just curious.

"Oh." Inabot niya sa akin iyong bote ng tubig. He uncapped it before handing to me. I drank and felt relief. I'd really take water over everything.

"Babayaran talaga kita," he said again.

"Sino si Gracey?" I asked, instead.

"Doctor dun... Basta," he replied vaguely. "Gusto mong gawa tayo ng contract para sure ka na babayaran kita?"

I shook my head. 'Di naman kailangan. 'Di ko rin naman siya sisingilin. 'Di naman ako masamang tao para singilin siya. Wala namang may gustong mangyari 'yun... And I had fault, too. Sino ba ang nagsabi na magandang ideya ang pumagitna sa dalawang lalaking nag-aaway? Looking back, I should've just let them punch each other. Nadamay pa ako sa one-week suspension kahit 'di naman ako naka-suntok kahit isa.

But Iñigo wasn't listening to me. He got the receipt from the water he bought.

"Are you serious?" I asked when I saw him writing down something.

He nodded. "Negotiable promisorry note," he said. "Payable two years from this date."

Parang tanga.

Inabot niya sa akin matapos niya iyong pirmahan. Natawa ako. Seryoso nga siya.

"Nilagyan ko ng acceleration clause para kapag nagdefault ako sa installment," sabi niya.

"Ano 'to? Application ng natutunan mo sa nego?" tanong ko habang binabasa ulit iyong sinulat niya sa receipt. Negotiable nga 'to. May natutunan naman pala siya.

He laughed. Sandali lang. "Medyo... Pero seryoso ako sa babayaran kita. Nahihiya ako."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Okay ka ba? Dun sa check-up?"

"Bakit 'di mo na rin tinanong dun sa Gracey?"

He grimaced. "Awkward, e."

"Bakit?"

"Ex ko, e... Tapos magtatanong ako about sa ibang babae?"

My lips parted... I wasn't surprised... But I couldn't still help my reaction. Alam ko naman na may something silang dalawa base pa lang sa pictures nila nung high school. Maybe I just didn't expect that Iñigo would tell me this. Considering na halos isang taon kaming 'di nag-usap.

"Ah..." was my mere reply.

He smiled briefly. "Okay ka na?"

I nodded. "Yeah... Cautionary lang naman 'yung tests—"

"No, I mean ngayon... Okay ka na?"

"Bakit mo natanong?"

"Bigla kang nanghihingi ng sigarilyo, e."

I shrugged. "Siguro..." I answered. I looked at him, he was just smiling. I thought he's gonna ask me kung ano ang problema ko, but he just sat with me silently. Inabot niya iyong bote ng beer at tahimik na ininom 'yun.

I suddenly remembered the girls who were talking earlier... Siya kaya iyong Iñigo na sinasabi nila?

"What?" he asked when he felt me staring at him.

"Nothing," I said, reaching for my bottled water and drinking it.

We were both watching the people pass in front of us.

"Salamat," sabi niya.

"San?"

"Sa pagkausap ulit sa 'kin. Akala ko ga-graduate ka ng 'di mo ko pinapansin, e," he said. "Oo nga pala, congrats. Fourth year ka na."

"Thanks."

"Tinatanong ka ni Atty. Cabo sa 'kin... Wala ka raw bang balak mag-apply dun?" he asked, and laughed briefly. "Sa lahat ng nag-assist sa kanya, ikaw lang nagustuhan, e. Pareho kasi kayong sobrang detail-oriented."

"Dapat naman talaga detail-oriented lahat ng abogado... Kapag may naka-limutan kang kahit isang maliit na bagay, pwedeng makulong o magka-liability 'yung client mo," I said. "Maybe lawyers don't deal with lives like doctors... but I believe that it's just as important. If a lawyer slacks off, he could cost his client his liberty or property... It's not human life, but it's still important."

A small smile appeared on his face. "You're so smart."

My lips parted at the sudden remark that came out of his mouth. Napa-abot ulit ako sa tubig.

"Sorry," he said. "Didn't mean to voice my thought..."

Tumango ako. Finocus iyong tingin sa harap ko.

"But really... You're the smartest and most hard working person I know," he said. Hindi ko pa rin siya tinitignan. "Can't wait to officially call you Atty. Viste."