Dancing With Death

It has been many years since that dreadful night. Thirteen years to the day, my mother had been killed, and I sat in front of her grave now. My heart seemed to always have a void, but it seemed to be larger and stronger on days like today. I couldn't deny it; I missed her terribly.

I couldn't remember much of my mother since she was taken when I was only around two. They said that one day she just was... gone. They told me she was never coming back, but I haven't lost faith in her. I believe, just as I did when I was two that she would come back for me.

I remember her smile, it's faint, but I do remember. It was radiant, with her hair a red color, and her green eyes that supposedly complemented my father's brown ones. I got my hair from her, but the only difference was that mine was more of a brown color - auburn, as most called it. My eyes were a hazel, the perfect mixture of the two, as my mother once said.

God, I missed her. I twirled the red rose I had in my hand aimlessly around and around. The bouquet that it had been snatched from was nestled underneath the redbud tree, where her headstone lay. I just sat there at the foot of her grave, listening to the birds chirping and chattering in the trees.

It reminded me of a memory, or at least what I thought was a memory. Now I wasn't so sure. Everything was fading slowly away: her voice, the way she laughed, and now even her smile was just a fleeting memory. I tried to think of her as often as possible, in hopes that I could save my memories of her. Even still they were fading slowly away, one by one, despite my attempts to keep them from slipping through my fingers.

I remembered walking in the park. My hand was in hers and I was skipping along beside her as she laughed. I was grinning as wide as I possibly could, and you could plainly see the holes where I had recently lost a few front teeth.

My toothy smile shone brightly on my face as Mommy and I skipped up to the ice cream stand and ordered two of their sugar cones. Mine was mint chocolate chip and Mommy's was strawberry.

We settled at a nearby picnic table after we got our cones and were happily eating them. The birds were chirping, and you could hear the laughter of nearby children as they chased each other around the swing sets.

My mommy looked over at me and smiled as she pointed her cone at my face. "You have a little something on your nose," she said as she smeared a blob of strawberry ice cream on the tip of my nose. I squealed and scooped some of my ice cream onto my finger and smeared it on hers.

We laughed and wiped the ice cream off of our faces. We settled back and looked up at the sky, and she suddenly got serious.

"Aspen, I love you. You know that? Mommy hopes nothing will ever bring us apart, but there may come a time when-"

Suddenly, my mother's voice was cut off and a man's replaced it. It tore me away from whatever trance I was in and brought me back into the real world.

"What are you doing here, munchkin?" My gaze was brought to a man that was leaning casually against the tree with a rose in hand.

"You should know exactly what I am doing here," I snapped.

"Here, here, love," he tisked, shaking his head. "Somebody is in a dark mood."

"I am not in a bad mood." I mumbled, already irritated by him.

"Oh come on, Sweetheart, I know something is bothering you." He looked as if he knew something I didn't with that big smile plastered across his face.

"Nothing is bothering me!" I shouted. He looked at me in that disapproving way, and I felt like I was immediately drawn to confess.

"Oh really?" he patronized. "Then why have you been here for about three hours staring off into space at nothing?"

"I haven't been here for three hours!" I defended.

He pretended to look at a watch. "Hmmm...so you've been here ever since lunch. What time is it now, Sweetheart?"

I looked at my phone and sure enough, it was about three. I had been here for about three hours. I didn't even notice; I guess I was just too distracted by old memories.

"How did you know I've been here since twelve?" I asked, looking away in embarrassment. I never really expected an answer. He never gave me one.

I looked up to find him standing next to me. As usual, he just dodged the question. "So munchkin, do you wanna go get some ice cream?" By now I was used to it, and I had decided to just stop asking questions. It was evident he was never going to tell me the truth, so why bother? It wasn't any of my business.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." He offered me his hand, which I took, and pulled me up onto my feet.

We walked together down the path of the cemetery. The park was only about a block away, so with unspoken agreement we headed toward the ice cream booth. About halfway there I finally realized that he hadn't released my hand. I shyly looked at our interlocked fingers, and then up to his face. He was still flashing that goofy grin he always had on his face. Sometimes I wondered if he was ever unhappy and just disguised it with that smile. I know I do that - hide my feelings. Sometimes I wish I was like him, always happy no matter what.

He has always been there for me when nobody else was. Through all the families I'd been too, he was the only constant in my life. I loved him. He was my best friend, even if he was always acting like a jerk. He was my jerk.

I'd never tell him that though. He already can't fit through the door.

After coming to that realization, I quickly snatched my hand away as we got closer to the ice cream booth. He looked over at me questionably, raising an eyebrow, but didn't say anything in response to my reaction.

We walked up to the counter without a word, and he already knew my order. It was always the same; I wasn't much of a risk taker. He ordered me a waffle cone with mint chocolate chip, and he ordered the same, but with strawberry.

The thought of it made me physically sick, and I felt unwanted tears prick at the back of my eyes. I tried desperately to push them back in, but the wet droplets began to fall down my cheek. I wiped them away furiously. The tears began to recede as red hot anger began to take over the feeling of sadness.

I clenched my jaw. I reach into my wallet to pay, but as usual he refused, and pushed my hand away. Usually I would fight him on it. I would stress my point being that I could pay for my own things. Sure it was nice every once in a while, and I allowed it occasionally. It wasn't fair that he paid every time though, and it made me feel like I had to depend on someone. Ever since my mother had gone I hadn't needed any family to take care of me. I was perfectly fine by myself.

The only reason I had decided to let this jerk weasel his way into my life was purely because he wouldn't go away. Seriously, at the beginning I had yelled at him, hit him, and acted like a complete butt to him, but all he would do is give me that grin that practically melted my heart and laugh.

It was like he knew that it was just a pretense - the way I acted as if I didn't want anyone to even associate with me. It wasn't true, but he had proven himself to me that he actually cared about me. He knew all the things I told other people was a doggone lie, and when they would run away with their tails between their legs, he didn't. It was kind of endearing in a strange, annoying type of way.

The way he knew me so well was...well...strange. Such as now, I could practically feel him analyzing me, and I hated it. The way he could see straight through all the barriers I have had up for so long was so antagonizing.

"What's wrong, Aspen?" he queried. I opened my mouth, about to deny anything being wrong, but he beat me to it, scolding me with that patronizing tone. "And don't lie to me. I know something is up." He wagged his finger at me for emphasis, and gave me the you-know-I'm-right look.

I huffed in annoyance. "It's just my mom is all," I answered. "Her favorite ice cream was strawberry, too. I don't know, it just hit a nerve."

I looked up at him, fully prepared to see that stupid pity look written on his face that everyone looks at me with when they remember that I had lost my mother. However, he didn't show pity. He clenched his jaw, and took a deep breath.

"How do you know your mother is really dead?"

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Hey Guys! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this chapter!

Hope you liked it!

Hopefully the next chapter will be done soon, and I should be able to post sometime this weekend. ;)

Much love,

-SwimmerVGirl