Ivy

It felt like I was living through a kaleidoscope. Nothing felt real. The only thing I felt was real was the pain now coursing through my veins. I splash some water onto my face. I felt tired, more than I'd ever felt and I didn't know how to make it go away. There's a knock at the door.

"It's time," Marshall said.

I nod as I wipe my face with the face towel I had found by the basin, courtesy of the cheap motel. So that was it then. We were going to go on without Celeste because, in Marsh's words she was a lost cause. In simpler terms, she was dead. My boyfriend murdered her. Just another ordinary day in my terribly fucked up life, no biggie.

I so much want to believe its all going to be okay but I can't. What am I doing? This isn't me! I'm not a depressed hippie condemned to living in a rat hole my entire life just because some corrupt individuals didn't like opposition. I'm a fighter, and I will fight for my rights! I'll fight for my best friend who gave her life to protect me and my poor assistant.

I will fight to bring down that corrupt system. I'll take down anyone in my way and if Don is on their side, fuck him too. I'm not going to risk anyone else. I know Marsh will be pissed at me but I will not lose another friend. I'll face my boyfriend by myself. I take out a band and tie my hair and looking at my reflection in the mirror, I had my final resolution.

I make my way to the bedroom. Marsh wasn't in. I guess he was reminiscing with a colleague of his. All the better. I grab my duffel bag and, taking care not to make any noise, I sneak out the motel.

It's dark outside but I tell myself to keep going. If I stop, I'll think about what a terrible idea this is so I won't stop. I know on our way here we passed a couple of spots great for hiding out for the night but Marsh probably saw them too. I won't be desperate. I need to do some research. That means the local library is my current option.

I've always hated libraries, they are dark and gloomy and I've always been claustrophobic. The librarian's a petite lady with dark hair and rimless glasses. After she showed me to a desktop, I waited till she was out of sight before I loaded my Skype page. I know it was a risk but I had to take a leap of faith. As I had hoped, he was online.

"Ivy, long time. How's it going?" He said.

My ex-boyfriend Shawn had a flair for the dramatic, hair wise. Currently he had an aquatic green hairdo. He was a hacker, the only other person I would trust with my life and my secrets. Eerie, I know, but our relationship had never really been serious. It had been more of a friends with benefits agreement. Don't judge me.

Now we were just friends. We had no lingering feelings and I could trust him with tech stuff as much as he relied on me to let him in on all the accounting and classical business. If I was going to carry out my plan, he was my go to guy.

"Shawn, I need a place to crash indefinitely, and I need your help with something." I immediately say.

"You want to crash at my place? Won't your boyfriend mind? I mean, not that I have an issue housing a gorgeous redhead and all but the last time I met him, he didn't seem like the sharing type." He said jokingly.

I don't want to give anything away so I indulge him.

"Darling, I always singled you out to be a gentleman. Was I mistaken?" I say with a giggle. "Don't worry, we'll keep it purely professional. It's urgent though. Think you can help out a pal?"

"Should I be worried? I mean, I know I'm not exactly an ethical person but still. I have a feeling this is something serious." He says.

"I think its better if I let you in on the whole issue in person." I tell him and before he can protest, I go on. "Listen, I trust you and I care about you so please promise me you'll watch your back. I'm being followed. Probably watched as well. Are you certain your server can't be hacked? "

"Whoa, slow down. Me? Hacked? There's no danger of that, babe, so chill out. You're giving me the heebie jeebies with all this secrecy. Are you in trouble? Is that what this is about?" He asks.

I can tell by his expression that I've alarmed him.

"Look, I'll tell you all about it in person." I assure him, "Make sure you leave the keys by the usual spot."

"Sure thing, babe." He says. "In the meantime stay out of trouble."

After I pinky promise to keep my head low, I log out of my Skype page, taking care to delete my browser history. I had used a private browser but I didn't want to take any chance in case someone is spying on me.

I wrap a green scarf around my head and throw a black shawl around my shoulders to match black T-shirt and jeans I had on. Its a crappy disguise, I know but it was all I had. Grabbing my duffel bag, I made my way out the library.

It was now sometime after eight. You'd think this would mean the subway was more deserted but that wasn't the case. It was busier than midday but I wasn't complaining. If someone was following me they'd have a hard time identifying me from the other passengers.

I spent the entire trip without incident but I wasn't going to relax. Not until this whole drama was behind me. It was around midnight by the time I got off at the train stop.

Shawn's neighborhood was more deserted. Not because it was some fancy uptown condo but because he lived in one of the less desirable streets there were in the city. I had tried to convince him to find some more secure spot but he'd refused. He said he liked the danger plus in this streets people minded their own business. No one would bother him about what he did for a living.

I felt a cold shiver run through me as I made way down the street. There was no getting used to it no matter how much I tried. As I'd asked, he had left the key underneath the flowerpot.
Unlocking the door, I let myself into the small apartment that was his home. I found him by his usual spot in the spare bedroom where he'd set up his computers and other gadgets.

"You're here, finally! I was about to go ballistic." He says, getting up he gives me a hug.

"Nice to see you too, Shawn. Got anything to eat? I'm famished." I say as I break free from the embrace.

"I have some Mac and cheese in the fridge. Tell you what. You can tell me what the hell is going on whilst I microwave it for you." He says, making his way to the kitchen.

"Okay, you have a deal." I say, following him to the kitchen.

"So, I'm listening. What have you gotten yourself into?" He asks as he pops the dish into the microwave.

The sight of food makes my stomach growl. I haven't had a decent meal in hours. Since this whole thing started, I've been running pretty much on burgers and corn dogs. Not forgetting an occasional yoghurt and my comfort food the delicious bag of cookies, Oreos. Nevertheless, I brave my hunger and divulge my uncanny tale.

"I have some very sensitive documents that can possibly help bring down Al Jeera." I say as I down my food.

"When you say Al Jeera..." He began.

"The terror group, yes." I say, confirming his suspicion.

"Ivy, I don't know what you're thinking but even you should know that messing with them is a dumb idea." He says in alarm.

"Well I don't exactly have a choice, Shawn. They want me dead." I say in exasperation.

"Hold on a second. There's a hit on you? And you didn't think to mention that before?" He asks in panic.

"I'm sorry, Shawn, but you're the only person I can trust with this. I wouldn't be here if it was otherwise." I tell him.

He sighs in exasperation.

"Shit, Ivy, how the fuck did you get involved with all this anyways? Were you trying to get yourself killed?" He asks.

"Who me? I'm averse to all forms of excitement. I just end up in situations like this." I say finishing up the Mac and cheese. "A colleague of mine was doing an internal audit when he came across the company executive's dealings with Al Jeera."

"Wow, okay. Why did he get you involved? Why doesn't he do the whole exposé himself?" He asks.

"That's the thing, I think... I think he's dead." I confess.

This is the first time I've spoken of the likelihood of James's death to anyone. As Shawn looks at me, I can see him digesting the whole thing.

"All Jeera wants you dead, Ivy. Whether or not you try to expose them. What are you going to do about it?" He asks.

"They want me dead because of what I have. The information. That means I have leverage against them. I just need to figure out how to use it to get them off my back." I say.

My mind is spinning all manner of possibilities but there's only one I have enough confidence in.

"You're not thinking of blackmail, are you?" He asks. When he sees the look on my face he immediately guesses at my intention. "Ivy, no. You can't do this. You are talking about messing with a bunch of nasty SOBs. They don't fight fair. Don't do something stupid."

"It's the only way, Shawn. I can't just wait around playing sitting duck. I have to fight back. If you don't want to get involved, that's fine. I won't ask you to risk your life for me." I say in protest.

He rubs his forehead in defeat.

"Damn it, you know I can't do that. Okay fine, I'll help you. Wait here. Let me go get a few things from my room." He says finally.

"Thanks, Shawn. Really." I say in earnest.

I smile at him as he retreats from the room. I begin to look around whilst waiting for him to come back. I've never really taken an interest in his work though I have been tempted from time to time. I seat down by his desktop in order to take advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

As I begin to minimize every other window, an email pops up. Before I realize what's happening, a strange falcon like symbol appears. That's strange. It looks so similar to the logo Al Jeera always uses in all their demonstrations. I suddenly freeze over. This can't be happening! No. I'm imagining things.

"Get up from there. Slowly." Shawn suddenly says, his voice strained.

I didn't hear him come in but I do as he says. I turn around to face him only to find he's pointing a gun to my head.

"Shawn?" I ask in confusion.

"You never could mind your own business, huh?" He asks whilst keeping the gun trained on me the whole time. "Move away from the desk. Slowly."

"Why are you doing this, Shawn?" I ask him.

"You peeked my mail, Ivy. What do you think?" He asks as he approaches me.

The whole time he keeps the gun trained on me.

"You're with them." I say, confirming my worst fear. "Al Jeera."

"You know I tried to protect you. You could have just listened to me and just dropped the whole thing, but did you listen? No. Because you are so perfect and so right all the time." He goes on.

"Why are doing this, Shawn? They are terrorists!" I say in despair.

"Well I don't judge. They pay the bills and I do their work. It's a good arrangement." He says. "Speaking of which. There's a price on your head so if I off you now, I might just collect a couple of grands, right?"

"You'd really do that to me? And for money?" I ask him in shock.

"Let me see. You or a hundred thousand dollars? I think that answer is pretty obvious." He says with a shrug.

Wow, I must have the shittiest taste in men. I suddenly feel this rage boiling deep within me. I won't let it end like this. No! I made a promise to myself that I would fight Al Jeera and that's what I'll do. Before I can change my mind, I jump him and whilst he's still surprised, I snatch the gun from his hands. Unlike him, I don't hesitate. I shoot him on the thigh and he collapsed onto the floor whilst clutching his wound in pain.

"Fuck! You shot me you bitch!" He screams out in pain.

"I know, jerk. See, there's a very special place in hell for betrayers and back stabbers. I hope you like it there." I say to him with a voice filled with so much venom I could barely recognize it as my own.

"You won't shoot me. You can't. You're too good for that." He says with smug certainty.

"You have no idea what I am and what I'm capable of." I say as I cock the gun.

I shoot without blinking and watch as he slumps on the floor. I drop the gun and turn to leave. I'm now running on autopilot. If I stop to process things, I might go into shock. I wrap my scarf around my head and throw on my shawl before I sling the duffel bag over my shoulders and walk out of the apartment.