I don't own anything but original characters I may add. I don't own the song either

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Chapter 11 - Therapy

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"CAN YOU REMEMBER WHO YOU WERE BEFORE THEY TOLD YOU WHO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE?"

Letting out a sigh of annoyance I rolled my eyes. I was even attempting to hide my obvious disinterest in 'Team Therapy'. I told Black Canary I was open to the idea, but she wasn't there to keep my spirits up, leaving me in a dark mood.

The only perk, both Richard and Wally were forced to be there- Conner was guarding the door- so I had a chance to plead my case and get through to them. They were the last duo that still hated me.

The team members that had been wrangled by Black Canary were; Artemis, M'gann, Conner, Richard, Wally, Kaldur, Jaime, Barbara, Bart, and Cassie.

"Alright," M'gann clasped her hands. Canary had assigned her as the session leader, "Um... how about we start with telling each other something most people don't know. I can start as an example. The bio-ship has my personality downloaded inside. That's why it can sense when we're in trouble and how it can camouflage. Artemis?"

"I knew about (Y/n) before we found her the first time. I never saw her, but I heard my dad talking about a girl they found with powerful abilities when I was younger. I forgot about overhearing all that until we saw (Y/n) again."

"Sportsmaster could never keep quiet," I snorted, leaning back.

"I hate the name Bartholomew," Bart admitted, ashamed with his confession.

"I get upset that I don't have full Kryptonian DNA."

"I still think about returning to Atlantis."

"The scarab talks to me."

"My dad despises the fact that I'm Batgirl."

"My dad is Zeus."

"Whoa," I sat up in sudden interest, grinning at Cassie jokingly, "And I thought I had a powerful dad."

"My first language isn't English. Because we travelled around Europe so much it was a giant mix of different languages."

Everyone looked to Wally, the last person besides me. Wally sighed, running a hand through his hair. His eyes met mine. We held each other's gaze for a few seconds, both holding the desire to look away and keep going at the same time.

"I used to drag race," he finally muttered, breaking out eye contact.

"See," M'gann placed a hand on my knee, immediately retracting it when I jumped, "Nothing will leave this room unless all of us agree it can."

"Fine," I leaned forward, forearms on my knees. I was tired, hungry, and all I wanted to do was go back to my room and study my magic books so I could find a way to get rid of my father once and for all, "Something no one else knows. I counted the scars I got from Klarion. The scars from the hours of torture, the ones that were so painful my body couldn't let me forget them. Seventeen I can see, mirror or otherwise. Four on my stomach, six to ten inches. Six on my legs, three to eleven inches. Five on my arms, two to the entire arm. Two on the shoulders, each five inches; angel wings I would never receive because I'm half demon."

I kept pushing through even though I already shared my one secret. I had to get it out. I'd been hiding what had been happening to me for five years. And now there were people waiting and listening to me who wouldn't make the problem worse. It forced the words out of me.

"I get nightmares, almost every night about what happened to me. That, or what I did to other people. I can see every moment, their faces, their voices. I see my face. There's no soul, no heart. I'm nothing but a killer. I hear their screams. They won't leave me alone because I know every name. How could I forget?

"What makes it worse is that I get mad when people call me a villain for it. Because if Batman, Superman, or Wonder Woman did what I did, it would be considered an act of service. A bribing lawyer, a crooked politician. I was a hero. But because I wasn't known to the people, I became a menace. A villain.

"(Y/n)-"

"And on top of that, on my eighteenth birthday Klarion took away-" I stopped myself, taking in a deep breath, "I can't have- No. I'm done."

"What happened is all behind you," Artemis assured, "We understand that you were being forced to kill those people. That you weren't yourself and it was self preservation. Don't we?"

She sent a pointed look to Richard and Wally, both of whom shrunk back and nodded frantically. The men on the team may have been considered the bigger mentors and leaders to the public, but make no mistake it was the women who were running the team from the inside. They had the real power.

"I can help if you want," M'gann offered good-naturedly, "I can probably lock most of those memories away."

"No," I shook my head surely, "I hate what I did, and I hate myself for it. But I was lost, and confused, and I just wanted to be trusted by someone. What I did... I can't take it back, I know that. But I want to remember it, it's a lesson. Someone I don't want to be."

For the first time, the entire team- whether they were on the path to forgiving me or not- looked at me as something other than a villain.

~*~*~*~

"Did her screaming wake you up, too?" M'gann asked, rubbing her eyes as she flew out of her room.

"How can I not?" Conner questioned, pointing to his ears, "It was loud as it is, but I have super hearing. Now she's just humming."

"Her mind is screaming, but it's blank at the same time," M'gann tilted her head in confusion, "I've never seen anything like this before."

"Should we go in there?"

"No. We didn't help much last time besides waking her up. But Wally should be able to get through to her! He did when she had a panic attack five years ago. He's the only thing besides her music box and that's still broken."

"Whatever you think will work as long as it makes her stop. She's a good singer and all but it's creepy."

"She's trying to calm herself down. It's the song from her music box. Doesn't matter, I'll go com Wally."

~*~

"M'gann, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be here. Let her wear herself out. I won't be able to help."

M'gann glared at Wally, hard. A glare that would make Batman regret every decision he had made that led to that single look.

"Right! Yeah, I'll um- I'll see what I can do. No promises. We broke up five years ago after all. And she was a villain."

"Not by choice."

"Whatever," Wally zoomed down the dorm hall to (Y/n)'s room, wishing he could open the door slowly instead of it just sliding open automatically.

Her expression and hand motions made her seem completely out of it. She was waving her hands. On one side, shadows were dancing around the room, forming different figures and animals. The one constant was two people ballroom dancing. They brought Wally back to when they danced together in England.

On the other side, red energy danced around the shadows- chaos magic. Wally faintly remembered encountering the dark magic more than once while facing Klarion during a mission.

She was humming, a familiar yet easily forgotten song that said nothing and everything at the same time. A cry for help she didn't know she was giving out. Wally stayed by the door, listening to her near inaudible words.

"You don't know what it's like

Not to know who you are

To have lived in the shadows

And travelled this far

I've seen flashes of fire

Heard the echo of screams

But I still have this faith

In the truth of my dreams."

(Y/n) waved her hand and shadows overcame the dancing couple. She turned to Wally, shocking him. Her eyes were full of tears but the rest of her expression was emotionless. She got to her feet and slowly moved toward Wally.

Wally felt his heart pulling him towards her. He took a step, then another step, and another. Until the two were merely a foot away from each other.

"Will you help me figure out who I am?" She asked, voice a whisper, "Help me come back from being Black Rose?"

Wally's heart swelled with a sudden resolve to help her. Most of his anger was melting away. He was so mad, and kind of still was, at (Y/n), for breaking him when he finally felt whole, for leaving the team devastated, for not telling him why she left. But looking from her point of view, she felt untrusted, forced; they took away her from her home. She was told if she said a word about leaving the heroes the entire team would die. She was trying to protect the team. And Wally had to at least try to understand that.

Now, there was that same teenage girl scared of what she could do in front of him. A teenage girl who was tortured, and messed with, whose family treated her as a weapon. (Y/n) was still that girl, who grew up without a childhood, without friends, the girl who longed to feel normal, to have friends, a normal life, something she was stripped of. She was hiding behind this facade of sane-insanity, mixed with a strong, unbreakable woman who couldn't feel, but she was broken.

Wally could see through everything because he was the same way, more than once. Before he was Kid Flash, and when (Y/n) left. They were two broken people who could see that the other was hurting. And maybe those two broken people could fix each other.

"I will."

Eyes widening in shock, (Y/n) obviously wasn't expecting that answer. She nodded mutely. Wally, assuming his job was completed for that night, turned to leave.

Watching him go, (Y/n) wanted nothing more than to call him back. But that'd show a weakness she'd long hidden away. So instead she reverted to Ivy's methods.

"Wally, why are you so willing to help me?" It was enough to draw him back to her side, but he was silent- unsure.

(Y/n) reached out for him. He was so warm and familiar, and safe. Everything she had been lacking since she left the first time, "You want to know what I think?"

Drawing him closer still, the girl pulled comfort from their proximity. She needed him closer, and closer. Until there was nothing but them. No nightmares, no Klarion, no fear. Just comfort and security and everything she locked away in her heart.

"What?" His eyes watched her every move.

"You want something. Let me explain, Wally. There are three things that run the world. Power, greed, and sex. You've got power, you're not greedy... what one does that leave? Oh! That's right. Sex."

Carding a hand through his hair, (Y/n) brushed my lips against his. Lightning thrummed in her veins, drawing her in like metal to a magnet- but before she could continue Wally pulled away.

"You're out of it. Scared, looking for comfort any way you can, I'm not going to take advantage of that."

Leaving her alone, he walked to the door, pausing at the doorway, "There are three more things that run the world by the way. Hope, bravery... and love."

With that, Wally was gone.

Holding a clearer mind, (Y/n) sat down at her bed again. The nightmare she had scared her, and reverted her into a desperate state of 'survival'. Without Wally, or her music box, she had to sing to herself. But then Wally showed up at her door, and for the first time seemed willing to move past what happened between them.

Smiling, she laid down, "Hope, bravery, and love."

She didn't have anymore nightmares.