CHAPTER FIVE |
SCREECH OWL

"I worry about our generation. There are too many sad eyes on happy faces."

~ Atticus

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Rigel A. Black had many regrets in his life. He regretted shoving Regulus's face into the dirt when they were kids; he regretted setting Sirius's favorite muggle band t-shirt on fire when Sirius wouldn't play with him; he regretted not befriending the kids that lived around them as they grew up; he regretted breaking his mother's heirloom vase; he regretted not spending more time with his father; he regretted not getting more involved in the clubs at Hogwarts; he regretted not following his passion for healing; he regretted not trying his hardest to maintain a relationship with Sirius after the sorting. Everyone has regrets in their lives, moments they wish they could go back and change; however, all those moments, all those decisions create who you are today. Who would he be if he did go back and change a decision? Would he still be Rigel Black, the golden Slytherin boy, the perfect Herbology and potions student, the friendly transfiguration tutor, the voice of reason in his friend group, and the destined death eater?

Or would he be Rigel Black, the golden Hufflepuff boy, the perfect divination and transfiguration student, the friendly potions tutor, the voice of chaos in his friend group, and destined to be a healer? It truly is a wonder to think about just how different his life could be if one simple decision was changed. His biggest regret was allowing the hat to sort him into Slytherin. If he was in Hufflepuff, he would be disowned right now. Maybe Sirius and he would be closer and he would even live with Sirius at the Potters. He could openly date Mary and have a future with her like he always dreamed of. He would be a traveling healer, helping people from all kinds of life. He would explore the world to its fullest. He could further his interest in muggle cars and technology.

Most importantly - maybe instead of there being a lion trying to escape the garden of snakes; there would be a lion, a badger, and a snake trying to live harmoniously in the garden together.

But he knows his biggest regret in life will be replaced as soon as he steps foot on this train to head back home for Christmas. After this, everything will change. This moment would mark the beginning of his downfall. His grip tightens on his trunk while his eyes stay locked on the train doors. He could turn back and stay at Hogwarts for the break. He would have to deal with his mother's fury afterward during the summer. Would he even be able to escape this? Would they just force him to join in the summer instead? His ears perk up at the sound of a screech owl. Many cultures within the wizardry community view screech owls as bad omens. Their noises predict the negative situations in someone's life. They state that if you hear a screech owl, that someone you know will die soon. He briefly wonders if the screech owl knows who he is right now will soon be dead and replaced with a new version. Or maybe the owl is predicting the death of Rigel and Mary's relationship. Or maybe the owl is even predicting his own death if he decides to not go through with this.

"Rigel," Rigel startles out of his thoughts when Regulus gently placed a hand on his shoulder, "are you alright?" Rigel can tell Regulus really wants to ask another question, the real one at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't with so many people standing around them. Rigel can tell that the secret question is really, 'are you ready for this?'

"No, I am not okay." Rigel mumbles which basically translates to, 'no, I am most certainly not ready.' Rigel flinches slightly at how harsh Regulus's grip becomes.

"You have to be okay. We're just seeing mother." Regulus states when he really means, 'you have to be ready, mother would not be happy if we do not follow through with what she wants.' Rigel nods his head and the twins head inside the train unaware of the pair of grey eyes lingering on their forms. The two enter an empty compartment and sit down, the silence surrounding them. Rigel stares out the window in an attempt to calm his nerves. The most horrible scenarios are running through his head right now. What if they deem him not worthy and kill him? What if his first assignment is to kill Mary or to even kill Sirius to test his loyalty? There is a knock on the door and the twins glance up to see Remus Lupin standing there. Rigel gestures for him to enter the compartment while Regulus purses his lips, looking away and pretending that he is not witnessing this interaction.

"Remus, do you want to talk about transfiguration tutoring?" Rigel curiously asks. He wonders if Remus is here to pass a message from Sirius to them. Maybe Sirius finally opened one of his letters to him and knows what is about to happen. Sirius and Potter could be extending their aid. The hope for that fades very quickly by the expression on Remus's face.

"I'm actually here to say thank you. I know you organized that prank on Cresswell." Remus awkwardly cracks his knuckles and clears his throat. "Here, take this as a thank you present." Rigel picks up on how nervous Remus seems about this present and furrows his eyebrows. He holds out his hand to accept the gift. Remus puts a box of chocolate in his hands. "It's some of my favorite muggle chocolate." Rigel eyes the names of the chocolate. There are Almond Clusters, Baffles, ButterNuts, Reeses's Pieces, Gobstoppers, and Curly Wurly bars in the collection of candy.

"Thank you," Rigel smiles at Remus, "I'm sure I'll enjoy stuffing my face with these over Christmas break." The nervousness seems to disappear within Remus after Rigel said those words. Rigel briefly wanders if Remus thought he was going to throw the box of chocolate back at his face because it was muggle candy.

"Happy Christmas, Rigel," Remus goes to leave the compartment and pauses, "and Happy Christmas to you too, Regulus." He then exits the compartment and shuts the door behind him. Regulus immediately stands up, pulling the curtain down to block anyone else from seeing them in there. He turns towards Rigel with a hint of fear in his eyes.

"You have to get rid of those. If mother sees you with muggle candy..." Regulus trails off, but Rigel understands where Regulus is coming from. Walburga Black has despised muggles since she was born and it only furthered when Sirius became obsessed with muggle things to spite her. She tried her best to get rid of all the muggle magazines hung on Sirius's walls, but he somehow used a spell to make them stick there permanently. The room is now always locked and no one is permitted in there.  If she saw one of her golden boys with a muggle product, she would absolutely lose her mind more than she already has.

"Guess I'm eating them all during this train ride," Rigel shrugs and opens one of the Curly Wurly bars. "Want one?" He holds one out to Regulus who debates with himself before taking it.

The twins devoured the muggle chocolate, and they both wondered why their mother hated muggle food so much when they taste much better than the candy in the wizardry world.

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Death is such a strange concept. One moment, a person is breathing, feeling emotions, expressing their thoughts, and the next, they can no longer feel or think, and they are just surrounded by darkness. Rigel watches the people walk by the compartment, briefly wondering how far long everyone is in their lives. Some people may already be at the halfway point in their lives, others may have only completed a fifth of their life, and then there are people near the end of their lives. Rigel furrows his eyebrows as his brain pulls him deeper into his thoughts. If people knew when they were going to die, would they have lived their lives differently? Maybe that guy would've chosen to kiss the girl. Maybe that woman scared of heights would've gotten on the roller coaster anyway. Maybe that man who missed out on a major opportunity for a personal reason would instead choose the opportunity. It's interesting to think about how different people would be and how different they would be living their lives if they could count down the days to their demise. Rigel secretly wishes he knew when he was going to die. It would take the stress and uncertainly around the topic away.

The terror within Rigel continues to build as the train approaches their destination. Regulus and he both exchange a look when the train comes to a full stop. They both know what is waiting for them at home. Rigel takes a moment to breathe before getting up and grabbing his trunk.

"Regulus," Regulus pauses and turns to face Rigel. Rigel grimly stares at him. "You know no matter what happens in the future, you'll always be my brother and I'll always love you." Rigel has a gut feeling about the screech owl from earlier.

"I love you too, always and forever," Regulus reaches out and grabs Rigel's hand. The two squeeze each other's hands in comfort. "I see mother." Rigel tilts his face towards the window to see his mother and father standing stiffly on the platform waiting for them.

"This is it." Rigel mumbles.

"This is it," Regulus repeats in confirmation.

"Blacks!" Rigel and Regulus turn to see Evan rushing towards them. "Why didn't you two sit with us? I couldn't even find you." Evan stares at them in confusion.

"We needed some time alone," Regulus states. Evan's eyes flicker down at the twins' conjoined hands and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Is everything alright?" Evan questions.

"Have you been invited to our residence over break by our parents?" Rigel quietly asks, letting go of Regulus's hand to adjust his grip on his trunk.

"Yeah, my dad sent me a letter about that yesterday." Evan answers. The twins exchange a fearful glance before looking back at their friend. A friend who is going to suffer the same way they are.

"You'll soon learn what's wrong then. See you then, Rosier." Evan blinks at the coldness in Regulus's voice. Regulus immediately heads down the corridor towards the exit door.

"Forgive him, he isn't in the best moods right now." Rigel comments.

"Rigel, what is happening over break at your house?" The natural joking nature in Evan's voice has completely disappeared as he awaits an answer.

"I think you already know what." Rigel smiles sadly. "The time we all dreaded has come. I'm sure Mulciber is going to be excited about it if he was invited too." It seems to finally click in Evan's head. "See you then." Rigel waves goodbye before heading after his twin. He does not notice the lone Gryffindor standing on the other end of the corridor, listening in on the conversation.

"Rigel!" His mother calls out his name with a tiny hint of warmth in her voice. His father smiles at him while Regulus stands stiffly next to them. "What took you so long?"

"I was just seeing which friends were invited over for Christmas break." Rigel replies, walking towards them. His parents awkwardly hug him to keep up the appearance of being a loving family. If only people looked through the masks and curtains and saw the ugly truth.

"All of them were." Walburga states, "I made sure of it." Rigel and Regulus exchange a glance. "Now, we have a very special guest at our house over break that wants to meet you both." The urge to flee overwhelms Rigel in that moment. He looks at Mary in the distance and briefly wonders how fast he could run over to her and how fast they could escape the platform before his parents caught up to him. He watches as she laughs and kisses her family's on the cheek as Cindy seems to be talking fast about something that excited her. Her family would accept him with open arms, he knows it.

"Rigel?" He breaks out of his thoughts when Regulus tugs on his arm and whispers. "Snap out of it before they get suspicious." Rigel faces his parents again to seem then engaging in conversation with the Zabini family. Laura locks eyes with Rigel and waves which he returns. One day, his parents would arrange a marriage between him and a pureblood woman. Hopefully it was Laura considering they are already friends, maybe he could learn to love her like he does Mary.

"It was such a pleasure to speak with you. Your family should come over for some tea during the break. Laura could get better acquainted with our boys." Rigel and Regulus exchange a glance at their mother's words. Rigel's previous thoughts have been proven true, one of them will be arranged to marry Laura. Laura looks absolutely disgusted as she too knows what is being implied.

"Laura can decide who she gets acquainted with. I do not create play dates for my children." Regulus and Rigel wince at Laura's mother's words. Rigel gazes at his mother, watching her face turn a shade of red he rarely sees unless she is truly offended and angry about something.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Zabini." Their mother hisses and stalks away. Rigel waves goodbye to Laura before following after her. "Let's go, Orion." Walburga snaps, grabbing onto Rigel's arm while Orion does the same to Regulus's. In a second, they went from standing on the train platform to the inside of their home.

"Master Blacks! Mistress Black!" Kreacher bows to the group. Rigel grins happily at the sight of the house-elf. Kreacher may be downright vile to those who aren't a part of the family, but he has always been a nice constant in Rigel's life. "Kreacher has prepared you dinner and tea with your guests." Immediately, the smile on Rigel's face falls. His heart starts to beat faster and his palms get sweaty.

This is the moment that his life will forever change.

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Luckily for Rigel, his mother demanded that he and Regulus freshen up before meeting their esteemed guest — thus giving Rigel a few more moments to mentally prepare himself. He knows that Voldemort is able to look through people's minds and has been studying on how to block people out. He takes a deep breath, staring at himself in the mirror. Kreacher laid out dark green robes with the Black family crest and Slytherin crest embroidered on the chest. He assumes it's to show where his loyalty lies to the guest and to make him seem more appealing. Is it too late to have out? He still has time to make a run for it out of the house and down the straight. He could call the night bus and go to Mary's. A knock on his door snaps him out of his thoughts and he turns to face it. Regulus stares back at him with a grim expression on his face. While staring at his brother, Rigel realizes that his fate was sealed the moment he was born. He is destined to be the perfect Black heir, to make his family proud by any means even if it meant going against everything he believes in. "It's time." Regulus whispers. Rigel nods and the twins begin to make their way down to the dining room.

"Welcome." A raspy voice from inside the dining room speaks. "Welcome friends, come sit." The twins enter the room and try not to scream at the sight of everyone they are friends with there. Rigel locks eyes with Bellatrix who seems to be the proudest to be there. He takes a seat next to Mulciber and tries to not look at the Dark Lord. "Do not be afraid to look at me, boys." The raspy voice states. "Look at me now!" Rigel turns his face to stare at the man sitting at the head chair. He seems almost like a skeletal snake with how pale and skinny he is along with his two holes for a nose and no hair. His red eyes seem to stare into Rigel's soul which further freaks the teenager out. He notices the others getting uncomfortable and anxious at the man's stare. "Before you become Death Eaters, before you join our cause, you must prove yourselves worthy to bare our mark," Bellatrix excitingly pulls her sleeve up to show off the skull with a snake inside it on her forearm. "Each of you will receive an assignment you must complete in order to gain my trust."

"It won't be easy!" Bellatrix cackles. "If you're too weak to go through with it, might as well leave now!" No one moves an inch, too afraid of what might happen to them if they dare to do so.

"Smart choice," Voldemort grins creepily. "Greyback, bring them in!" The kitchen door slams open and a few Death Eaters come in, dragging people with them. Rigel winces at the sound of their fearful crying. One person doesn't look any older than he is and he tries to not jump to her rescue at the sight of her struggling to escape. "Our cause is to rid the world of these disgusting beings." Venom drips off Voldemort's words. "For centuries, wizards have been in hiding due to the closed-mindedness of muggles. For centuries, muggles have hunted our kind down and burnt them at the stake. For centuries, we have risked exposure once more from accepting mudbloods and half-bloods into our schools, into our lives. It is time we remove them from our society. It is time that purebloods reign once more!" The Death Eaters all cheer with vile grins on their faces. A sinking feeling overwhelms Rigel as he comes to the conclusion of what he's about to be forced to do. "These creatures, these vile beings, are muggles. Your first test to prove yourselves worthy is to use all of the illegal curses on them." He lazily points his wand at one. "Crucio!" The woman drops to the floor, withering around in pain as blood-curling screams emit from her mouth. "Imperio!" The woman stood screaming and stands up. One by one, she starts to break her fingers. "And finally," he grins darkly, "Avada Kedavra!" Her dead body flops to the floor. The other muggles now are screaming in fear and struggling even more to escape. "Your turn!" He chuckles. Rigel watches in horror as a muggle is placed on the table in front of each of them. He stares into the brown eyes of the young girl that has been chosen to be his victim. Her eyes are full of fear and tears slide down her cheeks as she begs for her life.

"Please! Please don't do this! I have a little brother at home!" She whimpers. "I have a family!" He imagines Mary in her place, begging for her life and begging to be able to see Cindy again. If he wishes to keep Mary and her family safe, he must play his part. He must gain the Dark Lord's trust. He must bring pride and honor to the Black name. Rigel raises his wand and points it at the girl. Her pleads got louder and more desperate. He swallows and shoved all of his emotions deep within his walls.

"Crucio!"

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Rigel sits in the shower, letting the warm water wash over him as he stares blankly at the wall. How could he have done that so easily? Why didn't he fight against it more? If that's the first test, how are the other tests going to be? The door to the bathroom opens and Regulus walks in. He sits and leans his back against the bathtub, staring blankly at the other wall.

"It's too late to turn back now." Regulus mumbles. "What have we started?" Rigel lifelessly laughs and rubs his hands on his face.

"You mean what have we ended," Regulus turns his head to gaze at his brother, "we have ended our lives."

[ "Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

"Good, you should be." ]