Dear Jen,

    Aaron is amazing, but I'm not going to kiss him. It just doesn't feel right. On paper, he's perfect. He's good looking, charming and most importantly—interested. But if I'm being completely honest, he's not Harry.

And I'm so sorry.

I know Harry is off limits, and I know I shouldn't betray your friendship for a guy, but Harry isn't just any guy. He's the guy I've been in love with since before you even dated. And you're no longer here.

Don't I deserve to be happy too?

"You're tense," says Aaron. "Do I make you nervous?"

I decide not to bruise his ego by telling him the truth. "A little."

"Well, this might help you relax."

He leans in for a kiss and I instantly pull back.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

Flashes of Lorenzo not handling my rejection come flying back.

"Umm—I—Umm..."

"Anna, it's okay," he assures, gently tugging in my hands. "You don't have to kiss me."

Oh, thank god!

"It's Harry, isn't it? You're into him."

"Is it that obvious?" I ask.

He nods. "What's the deal with you two? Why can't you just tell him."

"He's my dead best friend's boyfriend," I explain, perhaps a little too bluntly.

Arron's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh?"

"It's a little complicated."

"You don't say."

We both carry on walking and I relax a little, enjoying Aaron's company more now that I know he's not trying to kiss me.

"I'm sure your friend would want you both to be happy."

"I guess. But why does it have to be him? There are so many men out there and I choose to fall in love with the one guy who will never feel the same way about me."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," he says. "He looked pretty jealous when we talking back there."

I shake my head in protest. "He's just protective."

"Right," he agrees. "Like most boyfriends are."

I ponder his question as we make our way back towards the main path.

"I recently broke up with the only girl I've ever loved, and Chloe keeps telling me to move on by kissing someone else. By distracting myself."

Makes sense.

"But it won't work. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because distractions only last a little while. The real problem never goes away."

Is that right, Jen?

"You're never going to stop feeling what you feel for Harry, and you deserve to be happy too, Anna."

"I just wish there was a way I could know if she approved or not. I couldn't live my life knowing Jen hated me."

"Well, if Jen was an observant person, there's a chance she knew about your feelings. You don't hide it very well."

I laugh.

"And you said this whole trip was her doing, right?"

I told him that earlier.

"Right."

"Then, there's you're sign, Anna. Jen orchestrated this entire trip for you and Harry to connect."

Did you, Jen?

I suppose it would make sense. Why else would you send two people who hate each other on a month long trip around Europe?

"Tell him," he encourages.

We spend another five minutes or so looking for Harry and Chloe and when we do, they're both chatting on a withered picnic bench. Harry tenses when he sees us and immediately springs to his feet.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Fine."

Chloe studies me closely.

"Are you okay?" I question, sensing his turmoil over something.

He shakes his head and lowers his gaze to the ground. Chloe—seemingly knowing more than me—silently guides Aaron away, gifting us a moment of privacy.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

My head spins, endless with possibilities.

"Harry, you're scaring me."

"I kissed her!" he admits. "I fucking kissed her."

My gaze instantly goes to Chloe, who currently has her back to us.

"Okay."

"Aren't you angry?" he asks. "I cheated on Jen."

"No, you haven't."

He pulls at his hair in frustration. "It feels like I have."

"It was a kiss, Harry," I assure. "You got carried away in the moment. No big deal."

"It is a big deal," he insists. "Jen is no longer the last person I kissed. Some stranger is. Someone I don't even know or like."

I grasp his chin and tilt his head, making sure my gaze locks with his. Then—knowing in my whole heart this is the right thing to do—I kiss him. It's an explosive moment, made magical by the fact he accepts my offer with open arms. Literally. He pulls me to his chest and caresses my back, unprepared to let go. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug on the ends, dragging the world's sexiest grunt from his lips. It's crazy to think I'm doing this. Kissing Harry has always been a secret fantasy of mine. A dream I never imagined fulfilling.

But Aaron's right.

I deserve to be happy.

And kissing Harry makes me happy.

"There," I say, pulling back. "Now your last kiss is someone you know and like."

I hope you, approve, Jen.

Lots of love,
Anna xo