The moment they went home, Jungkook unlocked his front door, realizing no one was at home but them since the lights were off, the house so empty, cold and silent. Jimin was still holding onto him, on Jungkook's back as Jungkook calmed him down.

"We're home now, hyung," Jungkook whispered, giving the older one a tiny smile as he looked over his shoulder at an exhausted Jimin. He jumped up a bit to adjust Jimin's weight on his back and held onto his legs which were just at his waist as he went upstairs, on their way to his room.

Jimin felt weak, filthy, and just so helpless. He didn't even know what to do not until Jungkook placed him down onto the edge of his bed, now diverting his attention to Jimin who was staring at his eyes hopelessly. His eyes were empty, his eyes were dull and seeing him like that made Jungkook break. It made the younger one want to cry as he was on one of his knees, both hands holding onto Jimin's hands, his cute, tiny fingers on Jungkook's gentle grip and he just wanted to protect Jimin. He wanted to nurture him, shield him from harm's way and just keep him safe and secure and Jungkook thought, Jimin didn't deserve to feel bad, not at all.

"Hyung...I'm so sorry," Jungkook broke, his eyes teary and his cheeks red. He was holding onto Jimin's hands as a way of saying that yes, he was there, and he wouldn't leave him this time. He didn't want Jimin to feel worse, didn't want the older one to hate himself even more because as far as Jungkook knew, he was trying his best. He was trying his best to make Jimin smile, smile like before. From the way he was sniffling and trying to hold back his tears, Jimin knew Jungkook was breaking, shattering, and deep inside, he felt guilty because now he was dragging Jungkook into his own problems when he wasn't supposed to be involved in the first place. Jimin's heart was hurting so much seeing Jungkook slowly putting one of his hands on his cheek as he leaned into his touch, and if his touch could make Jungkook calm down then Jimin figured he wouldn't mind doing it forever, staying by his side to keep him stable, like how Jungkook keeps him stable, keeps him sane. "I shouldn't have let you go just like that. I should've stopped you before you went out the door. I should've-"

"-Jungkook, please," Jimin begged as he let his hand on Jungkook's cheek caress the soft skin. Seeing the panic in Jungkook's eyes made him whisper, "Shhh Shhh it's okay, I'm here. I'm with you. I'm okay now," he smiled as he leaned in and smiled at the younger one, seeing one teardrop fall on his cheek and he just had to wipe it away. "You came for me. Thank you, Jungkook, I...I really thought that would be the end of me."

"I feel so fucking stupid," Jungkook closed his eyes and let the tears fall as he buried his head on Jimin's lap, feeling Jimin's arms around him. He was shaking, regret pooling in his stomach and right there and then, he couldn't stop the tears from falling. "It's all my fault, hyung!"

Jimin brought his hands to Jungkook's shoulder, up to his head, feeling his soft, dark hair under his fingertips. He calmed him down by giving him his soothing touch, shushing him and trying his best to let Jungkook look up just to see the look in his eyes that no, it wasn't Jungkook's fault that he was in this situation, that Jimin was hurting. In fact, Jungkook needed to know that he was the one who saved Jimin, and if it weren't for him, Jimin would've been in a much more messed up situation. When he requested for Jungkook to look up, the younger one continued to sob, his tears soaking Jimin's legs and that's when Jimin gently used his hand to force him to meet his eyes.

Seeing Jimin's equally red, teary eyes, Jungkook couldn't say anything else because Jimin was now using his thumb to caress Jungkook's cheek, smiling as he said, "It's not your fault, Kookie."

Before Jungkook could say anything else, Jimin kissed his forehead only to feel the younger leaning closer to his touch, his eyes shut tight, his arms slowly wrapping themselves around Jimin's waist, not wanting the older one to slip away this time.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook."

• • •

"Mina..." Jimin said, after a long period of silence. He was in the bathtub, resting his head on his arm as he diverted his attention to look at Jungkook who was listening to him, his eyes urging for him to continue. Jungkook was sitting just next to him, on the bathroom floor, his hands on his knees, his back against the cold wall. They've been in his bathroom for a while now, with the silence hovering over them, with them not knowing what to say. A lot of things happened that day that they didn't even know where to start. Should Jungkook say he was a fool for letting Jimin go, all over again, and bawl his eyes out once more, or should he talk about why Jimin was talking about Mina? He wasn't jealous, and he thought jealousy shouldn't be brought up that moment, especially since Jimin wasn't in a good condition, but he thought about what was best, and the best thing to do was for him to listen to the older one. Just like what he always does: listen. Jimin was his hyung, afterall. "She...she was there. I saw her. She was there, Jungkook."

At first, he wanted to stay silent due to the fact that he was expecting for Jimin to continue, but seeing that the older one was sighing, his head still on his arm as he stared at the floor, stared at that empty space between him and Jungkook, the younger one felt his chest tighten. It hurt because of certain reasons, and it hurt because now he was feeling thousands of emotions deep inside him, feelings that he knew would make him burst into tears or in anger. The look in Jimin's eyes, that look that said 'I'm not Jimin anymore' was practically screaming at Jungkook, and the more he looked at Jimin with his hair still wet, his body still in the bathtub, looking so fragile, helpless, Jungkook wanted to scream, too.

That second Jimin mentioned Mina's name made Jungkook boil up inside and it was as if he was a volcano, ready to explode, but then there was Jimin, his ever so sweet hyung, his cute hyung, his precious hyung, just there, staring at his toes and Jungkook felt insecure, felt like he wanted to hide, hide his toes so Jimin wouldn't see them because it was Jimin, and Jimin was his weakness. Jimin's eyes were the perfect shade of brown Jungkook liked, and he couldn't help but think 'Jimin's eyes, Jimin's eyes, Jimin's eyes,' as Jimin looked up all of a sudden that Jungkook got caught off guard as he looked away, denying the fact that the older one caught him staring at him, but Jungkook was too shy to admit that yes, he was. Even in situations like this when Jimin wasn't thinking about him, Jungkook felt like a fool, but at this point, maybe he was used to it by now. Maybe he was used to the fact, the thought of Jimin never looking his way but his attention somewhere else. Maybe he liked being hurt, being in pain if it meant Jimin would still stick by his side and bring him in for a tight embrace if he needed a shoulder to cry on.

Maybe the pain was worth it if it meant he'd get to keep Jimin.

Keep my hyung.

"I saw her run away. She even had the guts to watch me suffer. That-" Jimin stopped, preventing himself from swearing because in all honesty, he didn't even know if he should be mad anymore. It's done. It's over. She ran away and that was it. "She ran, Jungkook. I thought she'd help me."

She wouldn't, Jungkook wanted to say, his eyes on Jimin as the older one looked at him with sad eyes, almost as if he was a kicked puppy. She wouldn't, Jungkook repeated, in his head, and he suddenly had the urge to say 'If only you listened to me,' but it took everything for him to shut his mouth and stay silent. She wouldn't.

"Jungkook, I realized a few things..." Jimin said, putting his hands back in the water as he went down a bit till the water reached his chin.

"What is it, hyung?" Jungkook asked, his voice gentle. "I'm here...I'm listening."

"Mina said she gave the letters. That guy said he gave the letters," Jimin said, referring to her brother. Jimin didn't even care where that man was right now. "But Taehyung...he took pictures and sent them to me and I know. I know, Jungkook. I know it wasn't Mina. I know it wasn't her brother. I know it wasn't them who gave me those letters, I can feel it," he said, honestly, with tears pricking his eyes. Jungkook felt his heart waver since at last, Jimin finally realized it wasn't her or her brother, and there wouldn't be anymore Minas here, Minas there, and at last, Mina was out of the picture.

Finally.

"Hyung..." Jungkook started, unsure, his voice uneasy, his eyes on his bathroom tiles because he didn't want to meet Jimin's eyes. Not now. "I've been telling you," he continued, a small frown on his face and Jimin just peeked at him from the bathtub, his chest feeling heavy the more he looked at the younger one. "I've been telling you. Again and again. You wouldn't listen to me..." a sigh was heard. "And him? Would you actually believe it was him?"

"Of course not," Jimin said, shaking his head frantically as he sat up, bringing his body out the water at the speed of light that Jungkook couldn't help but jump back, startled. Right there, even though he didn't do it intentionally, Jungkook's wide eyes followed the drops of water flowing down from Jimin's neck all the way to his chest, slowly, as if time was in slow motion. He swallowed the lump in his throat with his cheeks flushed. Of course Jimin noticed. "I know it's not him."

"Then who do you think it is, hyung?" Jungkook said with a small frown, and Jimin wanted to sink back in the water again and just hide. He forgot he wasn't wearing anything, their topic distracting him that he couldn't help but scream internally, 'Jimin, you're stupid!'

Being with Jungkook made him open up more, and being with the younger one for so long made them build a sense of trust, with them comfortable with each other's presence. All their friends were affectionate, and all of them were so close that they'd share hugs, and Jimin, after spending so much time with Jungkook, shouldn't be surprised by their close proximity anymore, yet, there he was, wanting the ground to swallow him up because maybe he felt his cheeks starting to go red. Maybe spending time with Jungkook was the main reason why he was feeling things, feeling his stomach doing flips and he just hated it.

Without Jimin replying to his question, Jungkook made his way closer to him, both of his arms leaning over the edge of the bathtub, a side smile playing on his lips.

"Who do you think it is, Jiminnie hyung?" Jungkook repeated, his voice sounding cuter and Jimin knew Jungkook was teasing him somehow, though he knew the younger one wouldn't admit that. Just to tease him more, Jungkook placed a finger in the water, drawing circles, and Jimin tensed up.

"I...I-I don't know yet. I'm still trying to figure out," Jimin stuttered and he wanted to slap himself hard in the face because he wasn't supposed to act that way in front of Jungkook. At least he was telling him the truth. To ease the tension, Jungkook rested his cheek on one of his arms, looking at Jimin playing with his toes under the water and the younger one couldn't help but smile.

"Cute," Jungkook chuckled, pinching Jimin's cheek so hard that Jimin whined, making the younger one laugh even more. "You know, hyung," Jungkook was now looking at him with eyes full of love that Jimin felt his cheeks starting to burn up even more. Jungkook continued forming circles in the water with his pointer finger, but his eyes never left Jimin's. "You shouldn't be so shy anymore, especially around me..." he smiled, but he stopped, hesitating and thinking if he should really continue what he was about to say, but he did so anyway. "I mean, I've already...you know..." he trailed off, chuckling as he wiggled his eyebrows, earning a gasp from Jimin. Not a second later, Jimin splashed water all over him, only for Jungkook to gasp, too.

"HYUNG!"

"Hey! You were the one teasing me!" Jimin laughed, his cheeks so red, but Jungkook got the shower head, an evil laugh escaping his lips, and sprayed water all over the older one, which drew a loud squeak from him as he covered his face. "JEON JUNGKOOK!!!"

Jungkook's laughter resounded in the bathroom with Jimin flailing his arms in the air, begging for Jungkook to stop with all the teasing. Stubborn, Jungkook wouldn't stop.

Yet the older one couldn't stop himself from grinning, till he burst out into laughter.

"But it's true though. I've already seen your body, hyung. Don't pretend you haven't seen mine," Jungkook showed his bunny smile, and that was it before Jimin pulled him into the tub with him, not caring if Jungkook's clothes would get soaked because in all honesty, the younger one deserved this. All he could hear was Jungkook's pleads, telling him to let him go or else he might make Jimin regret pulling him into the tub in the first place, but Jimin wouldn't back down. Seeing Jungkook struggling in the water just made him laugh even harder.

"Jungkook, you're so- hey, that happened only once. That was when we took a shower, but seriously, you shouldn't-" Jimin couldn't even finish what he was going to say since his cheeks and his ears were already burning up. "You're so mean, you shouldn't even bring that up, I'm so-"

"Don't worry, hyung, I liked it," Jungkook grinned like a baby as he looked up, his hair wet, his clothes all soaked, and he was on top of Jimin's smaller frame once more. Fully aware that Jimin was bare, he looked down only for a split second before chuckling, his eyes shining so innocently as he stared at Jimin's dark brown eyes. "Do you wanna take a bath together or..."

"You're so annoying, you always make things awkward," Jimin joked, turning a dark shade of pink, pushing the younger one off of him lightly, avoiding Jungkook's gaze, but the younger one splashed some more water onto him which earned him a loud whine from the older one.

"Am I really annoying?" Jungkook couldn't help but ask, a playful grin on his face, his clothes soaked, and his shirt all wet that when Jimin's eyes went down, he caught a glimpse of Jungkook's collarbones, his broad chest and his toned abs. "Hyung...am I really?" Jungkook asked once more, adjusting himself on top of Jimin only for the older one to swallow what was stuck in his throat, feeling so insecure with Jungkook's eyes on him. He had to look down when Jungkook took his shirt off, and though Jimin wasn't looking at him, he could feel the tension and the close proximity. When he looked up, he regretted how he was now staring at a pair of chocolate brown eyes, so dark and just on him.

"Jungkook..." Jimin's voice was barely above a whisper before he felt Jungkook lean in and plant a kiss on his lips, so gentle and sweet that he felt himself melt into the kiss. Even when Jungkook brought his body closer to his, he felt like he couldn't breathe. The kiss was warm and it made his insides tingle, Jimin thought.

He got too distracted that he found both of them together in Jungkook's bed after they've both showered, and there it was: guilt, regret, sadness, his insecurities, his depression and that's when he pulled Jungkook by his shoulder, his body pressed up against his, his lips still on Jungkook's. He wasn't even aware how much he was crying when he placed both of his legs around Jungkook's waist, bringing him in closer than ever before, kissing Jungkook like he didn't want the younger one to disappear. He was in so much pain and he felt like he was nothing, like he was useless, just trash for people to take advantage of, to make fun of, and right now, it was only Jungkook who cared. No one ever cared. He could still feel the man's touch and it made him feel filthy, so he kissed Jungkook and clung to him like his life depended on it to forget the pain he was going through. It took all of Jimin's courage to take the shirt Jungkook threw on himself just a few minutes ago, off, and when Jungkook whined above him, when he tried to push Jimin off lightly, Jimin didn't care. When his hands reached Jungkook's pants, that's when Jungkook shook his head and broke the kiss.

"Hyung, we can't..." Jungkook panted above him, his hand reaching down till it settled just on Jimin's leg which was around his waist. Jimin couldn't believe it. He panicked, his chest hurting, his eyes starting to tear up as he tried to hold onto Jungkook's hand, but the younger one shook his head once more. "We can't, hyung..."

"Why, I thought..." Jimin couldn't continue his sentence as he fought the urge to cry. He ignored the stabbing sensation in his chest, but it hurt so much. "Did I do something wrong? Jungkook, what's wrong?" When Jungkook just looked at him with his eyes filled with pain, Jimin knew he messed up, but he didn't know why Jungkook was acting like this. It was all too much and everything happened so fast that Jimin was definitely sure he messed up somewhere. He couldn't stand the look in Jungkook's eyes. The more he looked into Jungkook's dark orbs, the more his heart shattered.

"Don't tell me you want this just because you're feeling so down, just because you want to forget the pain..." Jungkook whispered, but Jimin heard every word clearly. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Instead, he felt his heart break and heard Jungkook's voice that made him see the reality he didn't know was hurting Jungkook so much. "Am I just a distraction, hyung? Tell me, please, I'm begging you because I've loved you for so long, I don't even know if you think of me the same way. I don't want to be something you come back to everytime you feel bad just to forget the pain for the meantime, but disappear once you don't need me anymore. I'm always here, hyung, for you, but I don't want to force you into doing something you don't want to do, force you to like me because in all honesty, I don't want to receive your love like this," Jungkook said, all at once and it was a lot to take in that Jimin didn't know what to do as he saw Jungkook breakdown right in front of him, his hands which were on either sides of Jimin's head, gripping onto the bedsheets tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Not like this..." he whispered some more, but his voice starting to fade. "I want to love you, but not like this."

"Jungkook, please, why are you saying this, just please..." Jimin cried, not liking how Jungkook was drifting away, not liking how Jungkook was wiping his tears only for him to cry even harder. "Just please stop it. I'm not using you, I'm just...I'm sorry for making you think that way," Jimin continued, guilty for lying because he knew and he realized that Jungkook's been there the whole time, but he only came to him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, when he needed some sort of distraction and Jungkook was right. "I hate myself for not giving you what you deserve. You deserve the whole world, Jungkook. You're always here for me and I just...I'm afraid I can't give you anything in return," the older one used his hands to cover his face as he cried, not wanting Jungkook to witness how much of a mess he was.

"Do you really love me, Jimin hyung?" Jungkook sounded like he was about to give up, and this was it, Jimin thought. This was it and he knew if he messed up one more time, Jungkook would really give up on him. This is gonna be the end, Jimin, he told himself. His heart was beating a thousand beats per minute and his stomach was flipping once more, and this time, it wasn't because Jungkook was holding his hand or the younger one kissing his forehead - Jungkook was going to leave, Jimin knew it. "I'm sorry...I'm a fool, aren't I? Doing all this, doing so many things for you and me telling you that I like you, but I'm not even sure if you like me back? You must be frustrated. I really am annoying."

Jimin wiped his tears away, remembering what he said in the bathroom when he joked about Jungkook being annoying, and now there he was, Jungkook taking it seriously and Jimin couldn't help but feel guilty. He never was annoying, in fact, Jimin liked it when Jungkook would stick around and not let him go. He liked how Jungkook would let him stay over at his place and let him stay the night, and loved how Jungkook would be the first thing he'd see in the morning. He never was annoying.

"Jungkook, thank you..." Jimin continued, diverting his eyes to the crumpled bed sheets, to Jungkook's shirt which just right next to Jungkook himself, his torso bare and Jimin felt his heart shatter. He did that. "Thank you for liking me. I never knew you felt this way, I mean, I did...I did only after you started being more affectionate towards me, helping me go through everything and for letting me stay at your place even longer than I should..." Jimin explained, trying to ignore the fact that Jungkook was putting his shirt back on and he knew he had to explain his side of the story. "I knew after you started kissing my forehead, my cheeks, after you took care of me in the shower that one time when I was feeling so bad, and yes, you're right, Jungkook. I don't go to anyone but you when I need to run to someone for comfort, refuge - it's you. I only run to you," Jimin watched Jungkook stand up and fix his shirt and his clothes and his insides just ached. "I don't go to anyone but you, Jungkook because you're the only one that I trust. That's how much I like you, too."

Liking is different from loving.

"Do you know anyone else who would tuck me in and stay till I'd fall asleep? Stand up for me against the bullies when he could also be beat up? Make me eat when I don't want to, but now I'm feeling better because now I actually want to eat rather than starve myself? Jungkook, it's you. You did this for me and I'll always be grateful," Jimin confessed. "Jungkook, please. Please stay."

Just please...

I'm sorry.

Nothing hurt more than seeing Jungkook go farther from his bed, the sound of his foosteps nearing the door breaking Jimin's heart little by little.

It hurts so much.

"I have a question..." Jungkook asked, his hand on the doorknob and Jimin had to wipe his tears away when the younger one set his eyes on him. "What are the first words you see everytime you read those letters?"

Jimin, in a state of confusion, and with guilt still following him like a shadow, replied, his voice broken.

"Why, Jungkook?"

"Is it, 'Dear Jimin,' if I'm not mistaken?" the younger one asked, his back still on him and Jimin nodded, still clueless, still feeling like trash.

"Y-Yeah...how'd you know?" Jimin asked before Jungkook would leave his room, before he'd sleep in the living room because he said Jimin should sleep in his bed. "Jungkook..."

"I remembered. That day when you first read one of those letters. I liked how it made you smile," Jungkook ended it by opening the door even more, leaving with a "Good night, hyung."

Jimin didn't know why Jungkook had to ask.

Is it Dear Jimin, if I'm not mistaken? Jungkook's voice echoed in his head.

Dear Jimin.

_______

Author's Note: Okay, I really, really apologize for not updating last time. I hope this update was worth the wait ㅠㅠ I love you so much, guys! hmu on Line or even here! Haha I love you ❤ I haven't been well. I actually feel so bad and I feel like 💩 but I can't do anything about it. I miss you guys a lot 😭😭❤ This chapter's longer than the rest and I wrote it just for you guys. I hope I explained a lot of things here. Please take care and keep smiling ❤ Jammie's always here ❤