"have you ever been in an actual relationship before?"

you throw that question at seulgi, who's currently busy checking the dress shirts in the boutique you are in.

no, you are not on a date. you two didn't plan to go out to get to know of each other more today.

it just happened that the day you decide to visit her apartment is the same day she got confirmation that her new phone's ready for pick up. she also mentioned she needs to buy a new dress shirt because the one she wore last friday was ruined with blood after her brawl with her step-father.

so you let her drag you along with no questions. it's friday, and you're no longer required to wait for donghae like you used to. you are single and free.

you're loving the feeling of freedom you're having now. it's only been a week since you and donghae broke up, but you feel like you're finally learning more about yourself.

besides, you think you deserve a little relaxation before you embark on dreadful isolation over the weekend to review for the bar exam.

being beside seulgi gives you contentment and liberation. you feel like you can be who you are in front of her.

maybe that's the reason you've thought of asking her a personal question such as that.

seulgi looks up at you from the shirts she's checking. "are you serious? i'm twenty-two. of course, i've had relationships before."

"with girls or boys?"

she turns away, looking at the other designs. "flirted with a few boys when i was a teen. but when i tasted a woman, boy i couldn't stop. i could no longer look the other way."

you choke on that. "o-okay. but have you ever been in a serious relationship?"

"of course i had. but it wasn't long as what you had with your ex-mister nice guy."

you scrunch your face as you follow her further into the shop. "so, someone did manage to make seulgi fall on her knees, huh?"

"metaphorically and literally, yeah."

"ew. why do you always want to make it all about sex?"

she glances at you. "are we both going to pretend that sex isn't one of the best things in the whole wide universe?"

you roll your eyes, and she chuckles.

"why are you suddenly curious about that?" she asks, picking up another white shirt.

"i just want to know. given how playful you are now, i'm curious how someone like you takes love and relationships seriously."

she only shrugs as she continues looking at other designs. "my life's too shitty right now for me to bother myself with relationships."

"but i'm sure you've loved someone before, at least?"

"define love, professor."

you look around the shop, thinking of answers. "well, love is when you can't stop thinking about the person, i guess?"

she laughs. "what? am i talking to an eleven-year-old kid?"

"yah!" you glare at her, a hand threatening to hit her. "okay. it's when you can't stop thinking about someone or can't stop yourself from caring about them."

"that's an improvement." she nods. "have you felt that towards your ex-boyfriend?"

"of course. we wouldn't last fifteen years if i didn't love him."

"hm. fair enough."

"what is love to kang seulgi then?"

"hm." she lifts one shirt to observe it. "i might have a more mature answer to that. something a university professor would probably say."

"yah!"

she chuckles. "well, to me, love doesn't revolve around the admiration of your partner's beauty and strength alone. more importantly, it's how you tolerate his or her weakness, madness, and ambivalence."

you admit that's quite a mature definition for someone of her age.

"most people have a superficial view of love. they are only in the relationship when everything's fluffy and happy and blissful," she continues. "but when reality settles in, and the love hormones are gone, they give up after seeing their partner's dark side--which to me is inevitable cus we all have that inner darkness in us."

you press your lips together. that's something you've never thought of. your fifteen years with donghae are all about trying to be the perfect citizen, child, follower, and lover. you never shared any of your dark sides, knowing it's immoral is sinful.

the majority of your relationship was spent with you two being apart, either because of school or work--a reason you lasted that long.

makes you think that maybe the reason you're drawn to seulgi is because of her ability to bring out your dark sides and acknowledge those instead of turning away from you.

"true love is measured by how much you fight for the person despite their ugly side, their lowest points, and their mad state," seulgi continues. "i don't think i'm capable of tolerating someone at that level yet, nor anyone has enough patience to endure me. so, no, i'm not ready for another real relationship."

another real relationship. you secretly envy that person who made seulgi try it the first time.

"is that the reason you play around?" you ask.

"only with the ones who want to participate in the game. i mean, who am i to say no if a hot woman is throwing her panties at me, right?"

"ugh. you're disgusting, seulgi."

she laughs.

---

seulgi's in the fitting stall, trying the shirts on when you hear familiar voices entering the boutique.

"oh my gosh." your eyes grow wide upon seeing donghae's parents walk inside.

"everything alright in there?" seulgi asks from inside the stall.

your heartbeat rises when you see the couple coming in closer.

"shit. shit. shit."

in panic, you enter seulgi's stall and immediately draws the curtain close. you peek at the small opening to see if you've been noticed.

luckily, they seem to be oblivious of your presence.

"oh. geez. can't you wait until i drive you back to your place?" seulgi jokes, making you turn around, only to step back as you gape at the sight.

seulgi's wearing one of the dress shirts, buttons wide open, her black sports bra and toned abdomen peeking out.

you are sure your face is red by now.

of course, you've seen her naked before. but you are not prepared to see this much skin right now.

she steps closer. you try to step back again, pressing your body against the stall.

seulgi holds you by your waist. "i'm okay doing it here if you're feeling adventurous tonight."

"it's not like what you're thinking. d-donghae's parents are outside..." you gesture a thumb out.

"oh. they are?" she pokes her head out and looks around for a moment. "ahh. i can tell it's them. he looks like the male version of his mum, huh?" she chuckles.

you find yourself chuckling too. "can i stay here for a little while?"

seulgi smirks at you. "oh, love, you can stay here as long as you like." she caresses your cheek. "you're lucky their curtains extend up to the floor. all you need to worry about is making sure you're silent."

"what are you--"

she dives in straight to your lips, intoxicating you with her sweet kisses. you find yourself gripping her dress shirt to pull her closer.

she wraps her arms around your back and presses your bodies together.

she then pushes you gently against the stall. you let out a light moan when her hand slips under your blouse and starts caressing your skin.

but you had to stop her when you realise she's trying to unbutton your slacks.

"seulgi--"

"shh. it's alright," she whispers into your ear, hot and breathy.

"no it's not! we're in a fitting stall!" you whisper-shout, trying to push her, but she won't budge.

she pulls away from you. "you worry too much."

"what if someone sees us here?"

"they won't." her eyes don't leave yours when she pushes your slacks down.

you swallow, feeling yourself almost giving in.

she calms you by gently kissing your jaw down to your neck. after that, she kneels and raises your blouse to pepper your skin with more kisses.

you close your eyes and bite your lower lip.

your hand instinctively caresses her hair, pushing her head lower.

"mmm." you make a small contented sound as she kisses your navel down to your lower belly, hand hands holding the waistband of your undergarment.

your senses heighten when she slowly pulls it down and position your legs for easier access.

"oh. hello, my friend. we meet again," seulgi says to your crotch.

you cover your eyes in embarrassment. "seulgi..."

"relax. let's get busy while your ex-future-in-laws-to-be are outside."

"but are you good to do something like this now? you're injured, remember?"

"don't worry. i'm all good now. trust me. it's worth trying things like this from time to time, love."

"ugh. you are a-- oh... mmm... ahh..."