"Ruuuuss!"

"For the love of God, now what?"

"Where's my shoes?"

"Did you check your feet?" I bit into my toast with a crunch and stood up from the bar stool, walking to the fridge to get the milk.

"Even if I could see them, I'd say I'm pretty sure they're not there. Russ, will you please just come help me look for them, I'm late for my appointment."

Growling, I slammed the fridge shut and chewed on my loaf of toasted bread as I walked into our bedroom. Amy stood bent over by a chair, searching through a pile of dirty clothes lying on said chair. "You just had to fucking forget your pill."

I ducked under the bed and wrestled with some dust and old clothes before I managed to fish out a pair of white sneakers. "Are these the ones you were looking for?"

Amy turned around, supporting her back from the weight of her belly. "Yes. How did they get under the bed?"

"You kicked them under there when you suddenly decided to pull me from my case and have sex with me on the floor."

"Curtesy of pregnancy hormones," Amy grabbed the shoes from my hand as I handed them to her. "How's the case coming along by the way?"

"Same way you're growing our child. Excruciatingly slow."

She smirked as she popped her feet into the sneakers with some maneuvering before stepping up to me and looping her arms around my neck. "Getting impatient, are you?"

"You know how I hate waiting, it makes me restless. I need something to do."

"Oh, I know and I promise you, you can do the first diaper change. The second one too, if you behave."

"You think you're so funny," I leaned down to her lips and she chuckled as I pressed my own against hers, showering her with my love. I couldn't even find the cynicism to care about that corny statement.

"Don't make me horny now," She smirked against my lips, grabbing the toast from my hand. She took a large bite and then chewed. "I'm so late for my appointment."

"That was my breakfast."

"Go make more, I'm making a baby here."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Yours. You need to work on your pull-out game, boo-boo."

"You forgot your pill."

"This again?" She sighed, finishing my toast. "Fine. Why don't you hang onto that and then I go see the doctor in the meantime. Weren't you working on some big important case, anyway?"

"I was, until someone misplaced their shoes."

"You misplaced your sperm, let's call it even."

"Oh for Christ sake." I ran a hand through my hair and walked back into the kitchen to make myself some new toast. "The quicker you have this baby, the better. You'll be less moody then."

"I better get to the doctor's appointment then," Amy replied, grabbing her back. "See you soon."

"Wait." I walked up to her, holding something important in my hand. "Don't forget your batteries."

I handed her the batteries and she smiled a little. She then pulled out her baby-pager and changed the old batteries with the new ones. "When you said you'd get me a different vibrator, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Well, you weren't exactly what I had in mind either, yet here we are. Now go, I have to call the DA's office. Some idiot there thinks he got the whole case figured out."

"And let me guess," Amy smirked, her hand on the doorknob to our place. "He hasn't talked to you before?"

"It's going to be the best day of his life."

"I'll send the poor guy a prayer as the gynecologist sticks the vaginal scanner up into my vagina. Tootles."

She left and I returned to my work. Nine goddamn months of this pregnant hysteria. Getting work done was nearly impossible.

I had only just dialed the DA's office when my phone rang. It was Amy. What did I just say? "Don't tell me; You lost your shoes again." I drawled into the phone.

"Russ! Water! Broke!" She panted in the other end, huffing out breaths. "Contraction! Car! Hospital! Now! Phone! Doctor!"

"Does contractions mean you can't form more than one-word-sentences?"

"RUSS!"

"Alright, I'm coming!" I yelled. "Sit tight, I'll be right down."

I ended the call and then clutched on to the back of couch I had somehow backed up against. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. A smile slid onto my face.

I was going to be a father now.

• • •

Fin

Had so much fun writing this book, this epilogue in particular. Hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading.