Halim's POV

"And you think that I would let you go this time again?!" He says.

"But why do you want to know his name Ghazian?" I say.

"Because I'm your best friend.." He says with a serious look this time.

"No...I just can't tell his name. Ain't the information I told you enough?" I say. He clenches in anger. Ok. This is getting really serious.

"Can you please describe your dream boy once again?!" He says.

He is being literally harsh now.

"Ok. I'll leave it to you. I'll describe each and everything about him, but you have to figure out his name on your own. Ready?" I say.

"I've been looking for you everywhere. And here you are just talking to her. Halim, can you please ask your best friend to become a little responsible?" Mashal says and I chuckle.

"He is an idiot" I say and laugh.

"Come on! Get up! We need to go now! Mum's waiting for me!!" says Mashal.

"I'll talk to you later" says Ghazian as he picks his bag giving me a death glare.

How many times do I need to tell him this? It's been 4 years since we're besties but...anyways.

I wish he could love me the way I love him. I wanted to be his forever, but he wants her to be his forever. I see him spending time with her, ignoring me completely when she's around, being caring towards her health, and just being "couple goals" with her, yet I can't do a single thing.

You know what? That's the problem about one sided love. You want to see them happy even if their happiness kills you inside. You can't see them with anyone else, yet you don't want their partner to cheat on them.

It's pretty confusing. The terrible 2 am thoughts would make you hate them, yet you cry for their love, for their care. You crave for their presence. No matter what, you can't hate them. At all.

One sided love is like riding a bike in hell. You know that no one's gonna save you, yet you jump into it. You know that you are going to die, yet you get excited when you move in. You give everything you have, literally everything.

Your mind is flooded with their thoughts, you daydream about the impossible things, yet you know nothing like that's gonna happen.

But that's not the end...One sided love is beautiful. You love them unconditionally, you love them even when you know that they don't love you back. You get goosebumps when you think of someone else being close to them. One sided love is beautiful, the pain you feel changes you entirely.

One sided love did this to me. From being the most arrogant girl, I changed into the most caring girl. It's a huge difference. At least for me it is. I still remember how I used to get those butterflies in my stomach when his name would pop up on my phone's screen.

The worst part is, I always misunderstood his good attitude with love. It was never love but his caring nature. I would always wrong myself. I would always think of him as my Prince Charming.

I remember how he told me about his girlfriend when I was expecting his proposal. It fucked me up mentally. For days I couldn't believe that he had a girlfriend.

One sided love actually fucks you up. You know what? You don't heal. You just get used to their behaviour. The thought of them being with anyone else once killed you, but later you get used to it. Watching them do random stuff with the love of their life. It hurts. Believe me it hurts...

Moreover, when you just have that "emotional breakdown" once every week, you feel like the most unwanted person. It makes you hate your existence, it makes you hate the existence of their love. You cry and scream, yet no one can hear you.

And what if you don't cry? It leads to emptiness then. I've been through. And I know that emptiness is so heavy. I still remember when I couldn't cry for days. I got empty and then all of a sudden it became difficult for me to breath.

What happened next was horrible, I had to listen to sad songs and after almost 10 minutes I had my emotional breakdown. I cried...I cried like a little baby. I had no one by my side. I did not have my best friend. I was crying for him. I screamed and shouted but no one bothered to look on me.

It's not that my parents hate me, but it was just the middle of night. When everyone was fast asleep and my best friend, the person I had been crying for, was not available. At that time I realised just how much one sided love sucks!

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~rabzee
~Divulged Chronicle🖤