Halim's POV

I look at the space vacantly. Darkness does not have anything yet it's so heavy. I don't know where my inconsequential decision will lead me to.

My frail body and my despair thoughts can not handle the anguish of love anymore. It's been 4 years since I've kept this inside me. Now it's time to let go of this!

But how do you let go of someone who's not even yours? How do prepare yourself to see them with their loved one? How do you tell yourself that their world is so complete without you?

I know no one has any answer to my horrible questions. No one can calm my state of queasiness. I know I'm all alone and I have to fight this alone. I wish I could overcome this ferventness of getting him. I wish I could do something about this...

My thoughts are interrupted by the knock on the door. I allow them to come in.

"Halim?" She says.

"Are they here already?" I say.

"No. Not yet. Mum Dad have been asking about you. By the way you look like a Princess" She says as she pecks my cheek.

"Thanks...Faria how did you feel when Mum Dad went to your place for marriage proposal?" I say.

"I did not feel any good. You're my sister and I can share anything with you. Honestly telling Halim, I liked someone else before getting married. But I could not tell him, and he got married to someone else. I don't even know whether he loved me or not, but I adored him dearly...." She tells.

I look at her quizzically.

"When your parents came to my place, all I could think was how unlucky I am to not get someone I loved. I did not share my feelings about him with anyone. I met your parents, and accepted Affan as my husband. Within months I got married. And after that, Affan is the only one I think about" She tells.

Tears spring into my eyes.

"Affan is such a nice person. He is so loving and caring. He made me forget the one I loved at first place. And now, the love given to me by his family, and especially by him is the one I ever deserved. I can not thank my Allah enough for that..." She says as she smiles.

"Did this really happen? How did Affan make you forget the boy you loved?" I ask.

"I don't know what happened. But you know what? A sincere heart always gets a sincere heart. You just have to be honest with your feelings, and your spouse could do wonders. Trust me this happens..." She says.

"That's amazing..." I say.

"Anyhow, if you're ready then let's go downstairs because mama papa are waiting for you" She says.

"Ok sure" I say as I walk downstairs with her.

"Halim...my princess. Come sit here" He says as he looks at me.

"Halim, once again, before considering someone else, I would like to know your opinion" He says.

"Papa..your choice is my opinion.." I say as I lower my gaze.

This hit me real hard.

"I'm proud of you my daughter" He says and gets up.

"I guess they're here" says my mother as she follows my dad.

"What do I do?" I say looking at Faria.

"Nothing, just calm down. And maybe sit in my room until they call you" She says.

"Ok then" I say as I get up and follow her to her room.

Moments later...

"Faria, come out" He says.

"Affan..." I say.

"Saim has got a personality" He says.

"Shutup. And tell me do you like him..." I say.

"You won't believe. Let your lovely sister meet him and then may you believe her.." He says being sarcastic.

"You know what you're just jealous of Faria!" I yell at him.

"Keep your voice low. They don't know that our sister is not a human being but a tigress" He says and chuckles. I give him a pure disgusted look. Faria leaves the room.

It's not easy to let someone take his destined place. I don't know what kind of person Saim is. And I don't know, well nobody knows if he's gonna change my feeling of forlornness.

I wonder if he would behave the same as Affan did. Faria is quite lucky, I wonder if I would be.

Well how did Faria manage to survive without talking to him. I can not even go an hour without talking to him. I don't know whether talking about him would be good now. I don't know if someone will listen to me or not.

But they need to understand that these are not feelings of some days or weeks but years. 4 years is quite a long timespan.

I don't think that he's more cuter than him. When you have your eyes fixed on someone, you just don't get to like someone that easily.

All the habits of your loved one become your habits intentionally or unintentionally.

Mashal is our classmate. I remember his first cheesy post, which I misunderstood was for me. Only if I knew that the post was for her. How easy is this for him to say that I don't deserve a guy who could not see love for him in my eyes. Only if he knew that the guy is him.

I wonder if he gets to know this, what happens. Would he still accept me? I want and do not want him to know about this at the same time.

I just don't know what do I want. What kind of lover am I? I am not fighting to get him. But then again, why should I fight? What should I fight for, when I know that he already loves someone else?

I'm taken aback by the knock on door.

"Come on my baby" She says.

"Mama..." I say as I stand up.

"Please keep your smile as natural as possible. I know it's hard but..." She says.

"Yes mama.." I say as I lower my gaze and walk with her out of the room.

"And here is my Princess, my beloved daughter. She's doing BBA Hon and is in her 6th semester now" Dad says as he introduces me to Mr. Mustafa.

I greet them all like a good girl.

Believe me it's the first ever "first good impression" of mine in 22 years of my life. It surprised me as well.

"It's nice to see you" Saim says and I just give him a casual smile.

Why do I feel like a bridal already?!

"This dress looks so good on you" says Mrs. Mustafa.

"Thank you!" I say and give her a smile.

"He is my only kid. My son Saim Mustafa. He has a degree in Management and Finance. He had been the high achiever of his class. Now he takes care of the business as his dad is a little old" She tells me.

"Nice..." I say. Actually that's all I could say. Because I ain't interested in Saim, his achievements and his so called business skills.

"Can you please tell us something about yourself?" She says.

"Yeah sure. As Dad told before I'm a student of business studies as well. And I want to continue my dream job after I complete my studies. Other than that my interests include writing, reading, and baking of course" I say.

"Oh wow. Baking is getting quite a habit among kids these days. Well, good to hear your interests. Where do you buy your most clothes from?" She says.

"It depends on Mama. I ain't shopaholic" I say.

"Surprised. A girl's saying that she ain't into shopping" says Saim.

"I'm quite different" I say and give him a smile.

"Fawad, your daughter is quite confident. And I like this about her. I would like her to become my daughter-in-law. Do you like my son?" says Mr. Mustafa.

"What do you say?" Dad says as he looks at mum.

"Saim is quite a good boy, and is educated. So..it's a yes.." She says.

Ouch! My heart actually sunk mama. Tears spring into my eyes. No..I can't...

I can not love him. I can not give him the life he deserves...This is so hard...

"Eat this sweet" She says giving me the sweet from plate.

"Thank you.." I say.

I would have been more thankful if you presented me poison instead of this sweet. How do most of the girls out there do this?

I can't even attempt suicide. Because my father thinks of me as an obedient girl. I want to run away but then again...what would happen to mama papa?

These thoughts aren't normal. I just want to scream right now. Doing this silently fucks you...

"Aren't you happy?" says Mrs. Mustafa.

"No..I mean yes I'm happy but I was just thinking that where did this bug come from?" I say.

"Bug?! Where's the bug?!" She says looking here and there.

"It's gone" I say and smile to sound happy.

"Come. Sit here with Saim" She says.

I get up and sit with him.

"You both look so cute!" Our mums chorus and we both laugh.

"Can we please take a picture together?" He says.

"Yeah sure" I say. He unlocks his mobile and opens Snapchat. He clicks our first selfie and then gives the caption:
"Mine💖"

I smile while he gives the caption.

"What's your username?" He asks and I tell him my username of Instagram and Snapchat.

He then asks me to keep looking at the screen while he goes into settings and sets his password as my birth date...

He is doing all the stuff I wanted him to do....

I feel excited and torn apart at the same  time. So this is how the story had to end up with him and begin with him...

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~rabzee
~Divulged Chronicle🖤