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Jack: Thursday, 24 November
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Mark was pretty distant after our experience this morning, I thought it had something to do with the fact that his family was over but sheesh, I would've liked him not letting them bombard me with questions. He always sat across the room from me, and didn't even say a word. It had me thinking that something or another was up. 

Was he upset because I refused to have sex with him? I didn't want him to regret it and we didn't have a lot of time anyways. I wanted it to be just right, he didn't have to feel like it was a necessity. 

Either way, there was no way for me to get him alone to talk to him. Every time I went to say anything he would walk off with another member of his family, or someone would stop me. I was incredibly uncomfortable. 

At about three, we sat down to eat. It almost seemed like Mark forced himself to sit next to me and he didn't really want to. "What's the matter with you?" I harshly whispered to him. "You've been avoiding me like I'm the plague." 

"It's nothing." He calmly responded as he picked at the food on his plate. 

I looked him up and down and decided if he wanted to be a little brat about the whole situation earlier, then I would keep my distance too. I didn't care for it, and I was prepared for an entire battle out of it. 

"So, you liking school, Mark?" An older woman, I think she was Mark's grandparent, asked.

"Yeah, it's good." He responded. 

Many more questions were asked like this, and when Mark was asked if he had a girlfriend, I heard his mother laugh a little. I looked to her and caught her eye, she immediately gave a smile. "Why don't you talk about it, Mark?" 

I swear, she was gonna ruin this for someone.

"I'm gay." Mark nodded his head slowly, there were several shocked expressions and gasps from the table. I rolled my eyes a little, it was a ridiculous response. "I'm dating Jack." He pointed a thumb at me, but I just kept eating and ignored all of the shocked, disgusted, or confused looks I got.

"Um.. Excuse us." One of Mark's aunts wiped her mouth and grabbed her child and her husband and headed for the door. At this point I noticed the pain striking across Mark's face. 

"Could've been worse." I muttered but Mark didn't hear me at all. I was right, she could've flipped out. But she just left, which was mature of her I suppose. She didn't try to make anyone feel bad, she just knew she couldn't accept it. 

"Anyone else wanna leave?" I asked. I looked around the table and people were surprised by my sudden harsh tone. "Any questions?"

"Are you gay too?" One of Mark's cousins asked. 

"No," I answered her. "I'm bisexual." 

"Are you sure you're not confused, Mark?" An older man asked.

"Oh come on now," I sighed. "Don't ask that, that's more rude than just leaving." 

Everyone was really stunned by my abrasive behavior. "Look, I know this wasn't the holiday you were expecting. But if you don't want to love Mark for who he is and look past the fact that he doesn't have your sexual orientation preference, then there's something wrong with you and not him." 

No one said a word to me, or at all. They all just looked at one another. "Glad we're past that part." 

Everyone continued to eat in an awkward silence that I had induced and at the end of dinner, Mark retreated to his room instead of continuing to converse with his family members. I followed him shortly after and when I walked in, I was immediately met with his harsh glare.

"Why are you in here?"

"Why did you do that!?" He snapped at the same time I posed my question. I was immediately shocked by what he said, I defended his sorry ass. And this was his reaction? 

"Mark, I was defending you." I glared at him. "You've been avoiding me all day, what are you mad about? What did I do?" When he didn't answer, I hushed myself and walked closer to him. "This is because I wouldn't do anything with you, isn't it?" When he didn't answer again, I knew the answer myself. "I'm not rushing it, I'm sorry Mark." 

"Don't apologize." He sighed. "I just want to feel like I'm capable of things."

"You are." I responded as I sat down on the bed next to him. "I don't think you aren't, I simply don't want to push you into a situation just because you want me to be happy and content. I am either way, and I'm fine with waiting for it. But I would rather wait for something and make sure you are one-hundred percent down for it then have you do it and not regret it." 

"But I won't." Mark sighed.

"Mark I told you no!" I snapped at him while I stood up. "I don't want to right now, I'm sorry." 

Mark seemed to resign for the time being. "Do you want to leave tomorrow?" 

"Do you?" I asked.

"I don't know why we would spend the entire time here, there's not much of a point to it. I'm not wanted here." Mark said, I didn't bother to argue with him. "So I wanted to know if you would want to leave."

I did want to leave, I really did. I needed anyone besides Mark around, not that I didn't like him. But the tensions were so high that I just couldn't deal with him anymore. "Sorry," Mark said. "I'm sure this wasn't the best Thanksgiving experience for you."

I laughed a little. "The food was good. If that's all the holiday is, that would be fine."

I caught Mark smiling a little as he slid down into his bed. I was really beginning to worry about him. He had no friends, he thought his family turned against him, and then there was me. The one thing in his life and I might've been letting him down a little. That's not what I wanted at all, I wanted to make him happy. But would I make him unhappy in the long run? 

It was a long game of what if's that I played with myself. I needed to know the answers about the decisions I would make because I didn't know how I would make them otherwise.

~AN

Eyyyyy

Someone that I was previously friends with has been posting shit about me everywhere but has blocked me so I "wouldn't" see it, but lo and behold, people have sent it to me and so when I called them out on it they refused to answer me and they just keep trying to throw themselves a pity party and I'm like LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE. I JUST WANNA LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU IN IT SHUT UP AND GO AWAY. Being left alone is too much to ask for I guess. 

Rinny!