It was as if someone had lifted a shroud from my face. My vision cleared, allowing me to see again.

"Are you alright?" This came from a young woman who was dressed in a stylish business suit. "You fainted."

"Where am I?" I asked, trying to remember.

"We were discussing your future." This was from a bearded man who had a voice like a file on iron.

I looked around. I was in what looked like a corporate meeting room: bland, pine furniture; neutral shades; inspirational pictures on the walls. Opposite me was a frosted glass wall, through which came a diffuse light broken by the shadows of passers-by. "My future?" I asked.

"Don't worry," said the woman reassuringly. "It is a big decision. We understand if you feel a bit overwhelmed." She tapped the table between us, pointing at the two sheets of paper in front of her. Both were headed with the word 'Contract' - one in a gothic typeface, the other in Helvetica.

Her companion glared at me. "But it is one that you - and only you - can make. You have to choose who you are going with."

"Tell you what. Let's review your qualifications." The woman brought a leather briefcase onto the table and took a beige folder from inside it. She placed the folder between her and the man, and opened it. They pored over it for a couple of minutes. Finally, the man grunted.

"Qualified for both positions," he said. "Nothing to recommend him for either."

"Indeed," the woman added. "Minor sins and virtues only. I agree. It will have to be up to the candidate."

"Hang on!" I stood up. "What position? I don't understand!"

The woman looked shocked. "Didn't they tell you? That is inexcusable. We're trying to decide your fate."

"My fate?" I glanced between my interviewers. "What do you mean?"

The man shook his head. "Your fate," he repeated. "Whether you go to heaven or hell." He glanced up at the ceiling. "Eternal salvation." He glanced down at the floor. "Or eternal damnation."

I felt my skin crawl, as if a thousand insects were running over me. "You mean I'm dead?"

The woman nodded "Of course. You wouldn't be here otherwise."

"And I have to choose which one I go to?"

"Yes," the man said. "It is an unfortunately common situation. Too many people these days have nothing to recommend them for either side. No real saints. No real sinners. It is as was predicted. The meek shall inherit the earth, remember?"

"And you are the meek," the woman continued. "The indecisive. The sheep rather than the goat."

"And you must decide."

I swallowed. "It's not an easy decision."

"We understand," said the woman. "Take your time."

The man got up from behind the table and opened the office door. A cold, grey mist rolled in. "You have all the time in the world. Let us know when you are ready."