"Hey, omo lepa," one of the boys from the compound opposite Esse's house, called me. "Fine girl," another called me, making me quicken my step.

I knocked calmly on her house gate, but impatiently. I didn't stand long, before the gateman came to open the gate. I thanked him as I walked in quickly.

When I got into the house, her mum and dad were in the sitting room. "Happy New Year sir and ma," I greeted them happily, not being surprised to see her dad. It was festive period, so it was expected.

They both smiled at me. "Same to you dear," Esse's mom replied.

"Welcome my child, Esse is in her room," her dad immediately replied, after her mom.

I smiled warmly at them, before making my way to Esse's room. Their house is a mini palace, in fact a mini paradise. There's nothing they don't have here. They're fridge is always filled; with drink, snacks, food, any eatable. OMG! I forever love it here. I mean, anything for the food. It beamed with green colored walls, lemon and black furniture. I pushed the door to Esse's room, the only different colored room.

She was seated close to her window, looking through it blankly. "Esse?" I felt worried about her. It was like she was here, but still wasn't.

She jerked, snapping her head to my direction. "Oh. You're here," she said, trying to fake a smile.

I smiled warmly at her. "It's not working. How are you?" I asked worriedly, as I made my way to her bed and bounced on it. I noticed her flinch. Ha! I like trouble, it's sweet.

She smiled at me, a fake smile. "What's not working?" she asked, trying to escape my question.

"Your smile, you're trying to fake it. But, it's not working at all. And stop trying to escape my question, how are you?" I asked her again.

She sighed. "I don't know..."

Ebun badged in before Esse could complete her sentence. She was excited and happy. "Happy new year guys!" she shouted excitedly. But, her face fell immediately she noticed my serious look and Esse's broken own. She made her way to Esse, in a more calm and cool way. She stood beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "How are you?" she asked her, in a calm voice.

I sighed. "Only if you'd sat down and acted like a normal human being, when you arrived. Fish, she was about to tell me." I sighed again.

Her mouth formed an 'O' shape as she made her way to Esse's bed, sitting down calmly. Esse sighed. "I don't know, but I don't feel like me anymore. I can't sleep anymore, I'm always seeing the scene in my dreams. Gosh, it isn't even a dream. In my mares. Everyday, I wake up to the memory of the incident. Most days, I sit here and wonder how it would feel if I jumped. How all my sorrows would go with it. How I wouldn't feel my pain anymore. How I wouldn't have those mares anymore. How y'all life would be better, without a thoughtless stubborn fool like myself. How things would be much much better. There are times it would be a razor I would hold, wondering how it would feel for all my sorrows to flow away. How..."

I raised my hands to stop. "What are you thinking? Are you in your right senses? Esse erasing yourself from our lives won't change anything. You'd only make matter a lot more worse for us and your parents. Do you know how much a coffin is?" I asked partially serious and not.

She looked down, playing with her fingers. "Then I should prolly use something that won't let my body remain," she said, completely serious.

Wow! She's depressed and broken. I know the feeling.

Ebun sighed. "I know the feeling. You're feeling lost, out of place and empty. You feel helpless and like a burden. You want it to all end, the pain and memories. You don't want to feel, you want to be either an empty space or an extinct person. You're tired of this world. And the memories won't leave, right? That how you feel right?" she asked Esse, making her to nod. I was unconsciously nodding too, knowing that was how I felt too. "Hmm..." she continued. "But that's not enough reason to take your life. Even if it was the one person you loved, or let me say 'you thought you loved' that caused it," she said, raising her hand to air-quote 'you thought you loved'. She sighed and continued, "All these don't mean it's the end or no one else cares about you. Your siblings care, your parents care, your friends care and most especially Ella and I care. Taking your life isn't the solution. Suicide is for cowards and we all aren't. Only those who are scared to face reality and take chances, do such. We are above that. We take chances, we fight and live. Nothing can make us back down, we fight. Is that right?" Esse and I nodded together. We get, we get perfectly. "So, no one's committing suicide, we love each other and are one," Ebun concluded, making us nod again. She speaks nothing but wisdom. How does she do that?

"Why did you all leave me and travel to the village?" Esse asked, trying to change the topic as she wiped her eyes.

I smiled. "I didn't go to the village, I went to stay with my grandmom at Ibadan. Just for the festive period oh," I tried to defend myself.

"Fish it's still festive period, and I didn't go to village oh. I went to stay with my grandparents also, and it's not too far from here," Ebun broke in, defending herself and making me feel foolish.

I groaned. "Whatever," I said with a smirk. "It's sha Amarachi that went to village, can't you see she's not back?" I pointed out.

"Why were you nah sending a lot of laughing emoji, and acting happy. When you were broken?" Ebun asked seriously, looking at Esse and directing the question to her.

Esse sighed. "You can hardly know a girls true feeling and present emotion form a chat. A girl who doesn't want to feel weak, would never spill out how she really feels in a chat."

Ebun and I sighed, knowing she was perfectly right.

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GLOSSARY
Omo lepa - Slim girl

EXPLANATION
This is for those of you who didn't read #1 (Esse)

Esse is basically about Esse. She fell for a guy who messed with her heart and drove her into depression. He also did same for Ella, that's why she can relate so well to Esse's situation.
(I hope this helps you understand more about the book)