Hiii bestiesss!

Sorry for the very late update. My mental state (and physical) state haven't been pretty great lately...so I blame them. BUT I'm better now so yay for that!

Anyhoo, this is another long one (10K) and pretty in depth, so get a snack, you might need it.

It's another full Harry chapter, because it's all about our baby Tiger. I left y'all on a cliff-hanger, so we're continuing where we left off.

Without further ado, I hope you enjoy this one, my darling rosy tulips 🌷

♬ ✥*

Harry.

"Harry, baby? Please answer me. Come on, Tiger," her soft, caring voice was heard, and I swore it was an angel. A touch was gentle on my skin as it gently trailed along my hand, arm, cheeks, and forehead. A soft kiss pressed against me, and I began to flutter my eyes open.

Everything was blurry. I could barely see. My heart felt as if someone blinded it with a dark, opaque cloth, refusing to let it see reality before it was smashed to the ground. Sharp pins and needles erupted into my soul, each hitting an emotion I tried to uncover. Every single one hurt more than the next, all of them suffocating me within seconds and hours.

I didn't know how long I was out for, but whatever it was that happened, it was clear that it was too much for my body to handle. There were only a couple of times that I blacked out like this: when I got to a hotel room after dumping Madison that deplorable day, and the one night during the time I lost Serenity — the time I got drunk badly.

That was something that I never told her — and I never planned on doing. She didn't know about my blackouts, and I didn't plan on giving her another reason to worry about me. I worried her enough as it was.

But this unknown event was the third — and I hoped it was the end.

Some people say 'third time's the charm.' Well, that was complete and utter bullshit.

Because it turned out that this time was the worst.

My muscles ached, and my head hurt like a bitch.

"E-Essie?"

"Hi, love," she replied whilst caressing my cheek as her beautiful self came into view. A faint smile crept along my lips at the sight of her. "You gave me quite a scare there."

What happened?

So that's what came to my mind to ask.

"W-what happ—"

I tried to continue, but she hushed me and smiled softly.

"I'll tell you. But first, do you think you can try and stand for me? Can you, pretty?" she asked, and I weakly nodded. Slowly, she aided me to stand, but my knees failed me, causing me to fall back. "That's okay, Tiger. You're okay. I've got you."

My hand held my head, throbbing from the fall as things began to come back to me.

"There was a woman. And, um, she — my — Mateo?"

The nervous look on Serenity's face didn't help to ease how I was feeling. She took her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to keep a hold of the slightest smile as she brought her hand up to caress my cheek.

"It's okay, baby. You're okay. You're safe."

But then I felt that same heart-shattering feeling again. My recent moments flooded back to me, hitting me harder than a freight train travelling full speed.

"Harry, are you okay?"

His voice — no.

Fuck no.

It wasn't a hallucination.

"Hey!" Serenity snapped suddenly, causing me to flinch as I turned to see the two people who caused destruction in my life. "I think you should both leave. Now. You've caused enough stress on him already. Harry needs time, and if he chooses to talk to you, he'll know what to do. I was patient enough as it is, but you hurt my love, and I won't hesitate to kick either of you out of here. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes," their voices were meek as they nodded. They looked like they wanted to say something else, but their mouths closed, looking at each other before letting out sighs. Slowly, she put on her coat, retreated and the two left the café. There was one more glance was from Valentina as she brought up her hand to bite on her fingernails, frozen in spot as the window was the only thing separating us.

Our gazes remained locked on one another. It was as if she was trying to communicate a silent message through her deep brown eyes. The desperation seeped through them, tears building up in their ducts, slowly falling after a couple blinks. There was no sparkle, but only sadness and hope.

Hope that I would tell her to come back.

But I wouldn't.

Without a doubt, pure agony and regret screamed without a voice that an honest mother would look at their beloved child in a time of need and pain. They longed to see a smile or to hear those words "I love you" come from their young one.

It was something I couldn't give to her.

Deep down inside, I somehow believed her. It was so difficult to do, but seeing everything, and hearing her entire story, just put my life into perspective.

And with affirmation that I had no intention I would call out to her, she looked away and walked out of my view.

The problem was is that I wasn't sure if I felt relieved or upset.

Thoughts reeled in about my family, rushing to me on a film strip in fast-forward. Confusion filled my mind and heart.

I knew how my mum — Lauren, I guess — treated me growing up, and it was without a single ounce of pure love given to me; it all simply made sense. I wasn't her son. To her, I was considered the mistress' son. I was by no means a bastard child, but now, whenever I remember looking in her eyes, it's all she saw me as.

My father never treated me right from the start, but according to Valentina, he loved me when I was younger. Key word: loved. It was past-tense. I didn't do anything to make him hate me. Absolutely fucking nothing.

But seeing as I came from the womb of a woman in the lower class was a good enough reason.

Ironic, though, especially considering that he loved her — and had to make her his wife. Those expressions he made in those photos looked like they were genuine — that he truly was happy.

However, I knew Eric Styles. He really could have just put on a show and played a game with himself — and her.

Maybe all he wanted was to prove to himself that he could have anything — and anyone — that he wanted.

He had a running track record for that.

I would never know that fully unless I talked to him about it — but even though, he'd probably deny everything.

It was all messed up and I couldn't handle it anymore.

Shaking my head, I saw that the woman was gone and I met Serenity's worried eyes. "S-starlight, can we go home?"

"Of course, my strong Tiger. Come on," she replied softly, and began to help me up. Dusting my body off slightly, her focus was stolen by something in particular.

The folder on the table.

It already began to taunt me just as her phone number did on that paper earlier today.

I could see that Serenity didn't know what to do with it. To grab it or leave it?

I wasn't even sure how to answer that silent question when she glanced at me.

Turning away from it, I looked back at the door and just let her decide. My expectations were correct as I heard her walk a few steps away, then back towards me — she grabbed it and stuffed it in her purse.

Slowly, she placing one on the middle of my back, and kept me close to her. I could see her look at me from the corner of my eyes. The concern and worry in them would deafen my ears if they could speak.

All she wanted to do was ask me that simple question, but I could see her refrain from it. There wasn't a reason to even go there because she already knew the answer.

I was not okay.

Everything kept repeating in my mind like a broken record.

My 'mother.' Mateo. Lies.

Lies.

Fucking lies.

Sister?

Bullshit.

Absolute bullshit.

♬ ✥*

Once we got home, my girl and I washed up and got into some warmer clothes. As comfortable as I always was in my suits, all I wanted to do was get out of it. She made sure I ate something before we went to the café, and I was glad that she did that because there was no fucking chance that I would have any urge to eat after.

When we finished, I caught Serenity gazing at me with an endearing look on her beautiful face. Without a word, she pulled me into a hug and held me close to her. My arms wrapped around her body tightly, never wanting to leave her loving grasp on me. I nuzzled my head into the crook of her neck, feeling her own breaths against my skin. I did absolutely everything in me so that I would have a panic attack.

And I didn't.

Feeling one of her hands slowly move up and down my back, a gentle touch that I could never get enough of, calmed my whole body. Essie was here with me.

I wasn't alone.

I lost track of the time, unsure how long we stood together, a delicately formed pretzel tied together in a perfect shape. Tender care and a broken heart. Beautiful grace and a ripped soul. Cherishing serenity and destructive chaos.

It's how we always were.

Of course, Essie helped tear myself away from the toxicity from my past, but some of it still couldn't pull as it stuck like tar on an asphalt road. A road that led to dangerous thoughts and destructive actions.

But she melted that odious problem, disintegrated it leaving the ground smooth as silk, letting everything wonderful glide without a hitch, mistake, or trouble.

Serenity truly lived up to her name.

"Let me make you something to relax, Tiger." She pulled away and smiled. I made my way to the living room, and watched her move around in the kitchen before peering at Luna. She jumped off from her cat tree and curled up around my leg, purring to show me some care. Leaning over, I caressed her soft tangerine fur, and I saw her leave to see Serenity to get food.

Closing my eyes, I breathed in the soothing vanilla scent and let the aroma fill every part of me. My silent thoughts broke as I heard my angel flutter near me.

"Thank you, darling," I spoke softly as Essie handed me a cup of tea, knowing exactly what the flavour was before tasting it.

Chamomile and lavender — a serene blend.

"Anytime, pretty." She smiled.

I was sitting with one leg on the floor, the other bent underneath me. My mug was placed between my hands, feeling the warmth that it made.

My thoughts were everywhere as I stared down at my lap. The couch shifted slightly, and I turned my focus to Essie, who sat with both her legs tucked underneath her. Her expression was warm, looking cosy and positively adorable, wearing her hair up in a messy bun and in one of my jumpers — my Urban Corp. jumper.

"Let me in, Tiger. You can trust me."

I'd trust Serenity with my life.

"Two days, two fucking days, and I'm going to lose it. I don't know what to believe anymore. Everyone has lied to me, and I — not you, baby. Never you," I said, and she showed a kind smile. "What have I done to deserve this shit? What have I done to deserve a father who's hated me and lied to me all my life? A mother who was never actually my mother. My brother, who's a spoiled brat, who's now my half-brother. My mentor who's my half-sister's father. And a woman who is my biological mother."

She leaned slightly towards me as she spoke, "You haven't done anything, baby. You've been your perfect self. I told you before, and I'll keep on telling you for as long as I'm alive. They're the ones who don't deserve you. You don't need them. I know it's a bit harsh to say that because they are your family — well, on paper, at least."

"Why couldn't I just have a family who loves me?" I whispered. "A family like yours."

"Harry, baby, every family is different. You are a part of my family, and you always will be. I'll never fail to remind you," she said, the let out a soft chuckle. "They all love you and sometimes I wonder if it's more than me."

"Not possible," I replied with a light laugh.

"My point is that don't think about how things should or shouldn't be. I can't say that I understand what you've been through because I don't and will never understand. I can support you and be there for you whenever you're feeling down and remember your past. I can hold you, cry with you, hug you, and be whatever you need me to be because I love you," Essie spoke, scooting closer to me and placing a hand on my forearm.

"Focus on the positive and good things in your life. You have your success, you have my friends, who are yours, my family, and most importantly, you have me."

"And Luna?"

"She's your number one gal." That sly grin flashed on her lips.

"And I have your lame words."

"Oh yeah, because I'm so infuriating. Right then," Serenity said with a smirk.

"Definitely. And remember, it's because I'm so difficult," I teased her.

I placed both of our mugs on the coffee table and pulled her to straddle my lap. My hands rested on her waist, ticking her slightly, which let me hear her melodious laugh.

"I can't express how much I love you, Essie. Fuck, you're everything to me."

"Right back at you, Tiger." She grinned, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Say it back," I demanded lightly. She shook her head, keeping her mouth shut as I raised a brow.

"You want to try that again? I'm giving you a warning, darling."

The grin on her lips was cute as she replied. It wasn't going to get her anywhere.

"Ditto?"

Letting out a slight chuckle, a sly smirk forming on my lips. Biting my bottom lip, I let my tongue lick over the spot before pinching it with my fingers.

Her reply only went towards me, giving her a simple shrug, before mumbling, "Fine, have it your way."

And when I looked at her, Essie saw the excited glimmer in my eyes, and she knew that she was ultimately fucked.

But I did it my way — I tickled her.

I pushed Serenity, letting her back hit the cushions as I attacked her with my wandering hands, moving in every place I knew made her squirm. Belting laughs escaped my lips while struggling ones left hers in an attempt to halt me.

"Alright, alright! S-stop!"

I stopped, but only because we both knew that I always won.

With a hand by her head, I settled myself between her legs as I hovered over her. I reached up to move some hair that fell from her bun. Moving it away from her face, I gave her a pleasing grin. She was frustrated and breathing heavily as she looked up at me with narrowed eyes.

Raising a brow, though, I waited for Essie to speak.

"I love you, Harry. I will always love you. Forever, and ever, and ever. I mean, how could I not?" She smiled. "You're my Antares star in the Milky Way. You're the Scorpio to my Pisces. You're the Darian to my Serena. You're the last piece to my puzzle. You're more than my everything."

"That's more like it," I spoke, leaning closer to her. "Now gimme kissy."

My girl never fails to make me feel better. She never fails to make my sadness disappear temporarily, but she helps ease it. Things don't 'go poof' — Serenity's choice of words — quickly; they take time. Especially something like this.

Essie has always reassured me of her honest feelings whenever she possibly could — and even randomly.

It was one of the many reasons why I loved her so much.

But before she placed a finger on my mouth, stopping me.

"Nu-uh," she said, rolling her lips in. "Your turn, pretty. Or no kissy."

Fuck. She was good.

It turned out that she always won.

"I love you, my baby love." Kissy. "Darling, you're everything to me." Kissy. "Can't be without you." Kissy. "Drive me fucking insane, petal." Kissy. "Love, love, love you, starlight." Kissy. "Gonna keep you forever, Essie." Kissy.

Addicting and captivating. I could get drunk off my girl's kissy's.

Everything about Serenity was something that I could never explain — and I didn't want to. She was just the most magnificent form of perfection.

♬ ✥*

The past few days have been filled with stress and anxiety.

I've had to stop some of my meetings mid-way through so I could go and take a breather. Some, I'd be able to continue, and others, I'd have to reschedule saying something had come up. It was bad.

What I struggled with was seeing the times when my dad came to my company once in the eleven years that I've been here. All he did was look around and judge everything I had. Of course, at the time, I was younger and didn't have this office or position.

So he'd met with Mateo, and I joined them.

But then, things were all business; so, I was yet to find out if they really knew who they were to one another.

It's not just every day you find out that two CEOs have had a former encounter with a mutual woman in their lives.

My father didn't stayed that long. He judged the company, my apartment, my status, and left within a day. Never saw him again in Canada.

As for my mother, I saw her a couple of times when I went to London. One time, my dad was travelling, and the other was when I brought Madison with me. They absolutely loved her. It only made sense because they had so many things in common — the main one: money.

It was more pathetic than how I felt about my whole relationship with my ex.

I wasn't even truly upset with my mother, just bothered by her actions. I did wish, on countless occasions, for a normal relationship, but I gave up asking for that on Christmas because I knew it wasn't going to happen.

A kind and happy family. That's what I really wanted Saint Nick to bring me, but when I found out he was just part of the imaginative world, I had a small breakdown. It really made me feel even more alone than I thought possible. I felt that nothing could save me anymore.

And that's another reason that drew me to Madison when I fell in love with her. I felt like I finally wasn't alone — until I was.

But Mateo helped.

But he also hurt me by betraying me with a massive part of my life.

The thing about betrayal was that it hurt like a fucking bitch. It was only a glimpse of what Serenity felt when I did it to her, and I knew that it wasn't just a walk in the park.

There was so much pain and agony because of it — from that person from hiding such an important thing. It's not something that can be forgiven easily.

It's also why I still thank God that after a just one month I was able to get my Essie back — that she was able to find it in her to forgive me.

I didn't know how long after Mateo knew that I was Valentina's long-lost son; but since the day he found out, that's when the real treachery began.

I wasn't dumb to figure out that it wasn't his story to tell, but it still hurt.

The agony of knives and needles ripping through my veins, slicing through every sensation of trust I had for those around me. My heart ached and shattered to the ground, falling in several pieces, big and small, showcasing single emotions that lurked inside. It destroyed my ability to believe in reality and the perception of the mind.

What was real? And what wasn't?

Only one person kept me grounded so I could continue feeling in my crestfallen state.

My girl. My pure, peony petal. My sparking sapphire gem. My dancing sugarplum fairy. My sweetheart. My devotion. My peace and serenity. My loving Essie.

Last night, I woke up in the early hours of the night and struggled to fall back asleep. I did my best to stay still so I couldn't wake Serenity, but all I wanted to do was toss and turn. So I ended up getting out of bed carefully and went into the living room, seeing Luna also in a slumber in her cat tree. Both my girls were cosy and sound, but my thoughts kept me up.

I couldn't stop myself from pulling that folder out from Serenity's bag and settling on the couch to open it. My emotions were at war with my curiosity, struggling with full force to prevent victory from happening, but it undoubtedly came to a terrible loss.

Shaky fingers slowly flipped the thick paper towards my thigh to let all of the contents appear again. There was barely any light coming through the windows. Thick clouds prevented the moon's luminesce from shining through. The snow-filled the puffs of heavy blanket above, creating a sliver of natural lamp.

Squinting from the lack of proper light and my specs, there were those pictures of me as a child. The joyful expression on my face was something I hadn't seen in a long time — something I couldn't even remember. The last time I saw it was the night I first took photos with Essie at the carnival. There had to have been some sort of extreme gaiety during those times in my life.

However, I never experienced it after my memories started to stabilise.

The smiles could be infectious to anyone who came across them — but not me. It was something that I would never be able to look at without feeling sparking disappointment from the pit of my soul.

I didn't know if they were memories I wanted to remember because the chance of them hurting me even more, was greater than any expectation.

How my moth—Valentina looked at me, the faintest dimples in her left cheeks, the left being more prominent — like mine. Her brows were dark and shaped smoothly — like mine. The way her nose came down at the perfect angle, not too big or small — like mine. Her lips were just the right shape and tone of pink — like mine.

My hairline was similar to my father as was the structure of my face. And that was it.

I had nothing in common with my moth—Lauren.

Who was my mother? Did I really have one?

The only other thing I shared with my father was our temper, and mine wasn't near how bad his was.

That was all.

I had more of Valentina's appearance, and the way she was soft-spoken — when I wasn't angry — was similar to me.

Being a baby, the look of pure adoration was shown at his tiny figure was heartwarming. Held in his mother's arms as a newborn, sweat glistened on her forehead as she smiled down at the little one. It was known that a kind nurse took another photo as the father leaned over the pair, placing a soft kiss on the infant's cheek.

The little boy's self was near both of his parents, hugging each of them in separate photos, and then together in others. The embraces easily showcased the amount of love shared between all three of them — it was clear as day.

Innocent and raw devoted love.

But then there was a time jump, and that boy was all alone.

He never smiled in any picture, just a brief curl of the lips to show contentment; however, underneath that expression was agony and despair, longing for the time to be free from self-destructing confinement.

That little boy just wanted to be happy and loved, and when he realised he was never getting that, he lost his smile and all hope for himself.

The tiniest sliver of light remained, though, and that was the ticket out of the UK and go seek my own dreams and goals.

Even when I finally did so, that toxicity returned, and the heartbreak solidified around my heart, creating tar over time that I never thought would be removed.

But then my Essie came into the picture.

It's only been a few months, but they've also been the best months of my entire existence.

My eyes then landed on my birth certificate, thumb skimming over where my father's name was written. Valentina Hernandez and Eric Styles.

I could only handle so much before I slammed the folder shut and returned it back where I found it.

And once I came back to bed, I wrapped my arms around Serenity, but she pulled away from me. From the way her eyes moved, I knew my girl was still asleep, but the shock in me grew when she turned me around and hugged my body to hers. Even in her slumber, she was aware of how I felt.

Nobody could replace my girl Essie.

But everything was still on my mind, and it wouldn't disappear.

I wished it would.

With work, though, the hope that a certain stress would vanish was simply impossible.

After a couple of struggled meetings I attended, and another that Iris peeked through the door to call me for an 'immediate phone call.' Excusing myself, I thanked my assistant and left for a short moment.

However, that wasn't the case, though. It was just a reason to get out of the room just so that I could take a breather.

It wasn't something that I requested, but one that Serenity did.

My PA just smiled after pulling me out and went back to work while I disappeared into my office so I could compose myself. The tension I had turned from stress to anxiety, and I truly needed some time to be able to calm my body from it — at least temporarily.

When I sat down in my office chair, I rubbed my hands over my face, letting out a deep sigh. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," I whispered to myself, "Calm down. They can't control you. You've got this, Harry."

And that's just when my phone vibrated, hinting a new notification.

I knew that it was my girl's doing when I got random texts from her, which immediately put a smile on my face.

Today, 1:25 PM - Essie Marie Hayes 🌷 - Thought that a little break would help you. Wish I could be there, but duty calls. Don't count down the time when I'll see you, I know you'll struggle with your work. But you can call or text me anytime, and I'll answer as soon as I'm out of class. Got that, H? I'm demanding you. Remember that you're devoted to me just as much as your work. I'll see you when I'll see you. I love you to the stars and back, Tiger 💫

"I love you more, my starlight," I whispered to myself.

And just because of that message, I didn't need a glass of whiskey to calm my nerves.

Serenity was the only person in my entire contacts list that had an emoji by her name. I never could use words to replace names.

Hell, I never even used an emoji since before her. I found them lame and pointless. And I absolutely understood why she laughed at me when I sent her the 'grandma heart.' I had no fucking idea. How was I supposed to know what was cool and what wasn't?

Needless to say, I didn't use it again.

But she did. My girl Essie loved mocking me, and it didn't matter when. I loved going back to read her older messages.

Yesterday, 3:01 PM - Essie Marie Hayes 🌷

Have a nice day, my blueberry muffin man 💝

Blueberry muffin man was a new one for me. I actually didn't mind it.

But then Essie went on texting me the lyrics to 'the Muffin Man' song.

I wasn't pleased.

So I told her that.

She just laughed — in emojis.

But then she surprised me by sending a picture of herself to cheer me up.

No doubt she cheered me up alright.

One of those bathroom breaks helped to be a great distraction for my anxiety.

Nonetheless, the messages she sent me each day were just to help uplift me. Some calls were made whenever we were both free, but not all of them were long.

The arbitrary ones always made me smile.

Yesterday, 3:43 PM - Essie Marie Hayes 🌷

I love you, H.
Wait, no. That's how you sign your texts.
Let's say this...
I love you, pretty 💝

She was right. I still signed some of my texts like that — and every time I did, she called me out on it.

Sometimes I actually did it purposefully, just because I loved seeing her reply to it.

And to bother her. It was fun.

Resting back in my chair, I smiled as I decided on messaging her back.

Today, 1:30 PM - Essie Marie Hayes 🌷

Shouldn't you be in class?

Oh?
Says Mr CEO.
Shouldn't you be in a meeting?

Talking back at me, I see how it is.

It's great.
You know me.

I do. I love knowing you.
Shit. I know where this is gonna go.
I fucked up.

Knowing me, knowing you.
Ah-ha
There is nothing we can do.
Knowing me, knowing youuuuu

Baby?

Yeah, Tiger?

You love texting me lyrics, don't you?

You just love answering questions with questions, don't you?

That wasn't our topic of conversation, darling.

Sounds like someone is changing the topic of conversation, handsome.
It's clearly something you do best.

And what's that, sweet girl?

A WAY TO AVOID ANSWERING PEOPLE'S QUESTIONS.

Really? I never noticed.

Harry...
You're so difficult.

It was so fun to annoy her. My favourite feeling of love and infuriation came together with Serenity. She was my little spark that I loved to start the flame of enjoyment once in a while — I controlled it.

So biting my bottom lip, I smirked as I replied, knowing my Essie would truly be infuriated right now.

I know.
Now, back to the chat before.

Ugh fine.
Anyway...by knowing me, you should know I love brightening up our conversations with a little spice..................

Please don't.

But then she did.

She sent me an audio recording of her singing Spice Up Your Life at the top of her lungs — absolutely tone-deaf.

It had to have been payback for what I thought just moments earlier.

Had to take a 'bathroom break' to send you that.
So, what do you think?
Good, eh?

I love you, baby...

...but?

But you already know the answer.
You can't sing to save your life.

Ouch.
Rude.
Dude.
Just killed the mood.
Ehhh, I sorta-kinda rhymed.

You did.
Good job, my love.
I'm so proud of you.

Hey now...
Don't mock my talent.

The grin on my face could never hide from any mirror, seen from every angle possible.

I would never.
You're my favourite comedian.

Lies.
But I forgive you because I love you.

Then she sent me a picture of her beautiful face, and I smiled.

Fuck, this woman owned my heart.

She disappeared for a short while to finish her class — which was already nearing its end — and we continued the chat before I placed my phone down to get some work done. I stepped out for just a minute to postpone the rest of the meeting for another time. For some surprising reason, they were okay with it.

People were still shocked to see that I was okay with letting a few meetings slide here and there for certain reasons since it wasn't something I did in the past. Work was work, and the only reasons I'd let things pass by was if there was a death or someone was ill; other than that, their job came first. I knew that they appreciated the fact that they could get out of them early sometimes. One person even told me with a smile that they were excited to get home and not miss his daughter's birthday.

It made me feel like shit that I let them miss out on things like that.

Things that were important to them.

Sure, work was important; but so are families, friends, and a personal lives.

But now, with a break, it was nice to just be alone without anyone around to bother me.

I told Iris to take messages from anyone who called, unless it was absolutely important. Thankfully, I got nothing so far and it helped ease my mind. It was the last thing I needed, and I just couldn't want to get home to relax.

In all honesty, though, I just wanted to cuddle with my girl in bed until the nightfall came. Spooning her, the opposite, or holding her waist with her head settling on my chest. I always woke up before my Essie and had a chance to just glance at her beautiful self while she was in a deep sleep. And every time, I was so thankful that I had her in my life — that I loved her. She was the best thing that ever happened in my life, and I didn't need anyone else to make it worth living.

I wanted a greater future with her.

But it was just weeks since we got back together, and there was no way I could even bring up anything else.

When I realised that I loved her, I immediately pictured everything with her.

I pictured Serenity as my fiancée. As my wife. As the mother to my children. As the woman I'd cry with when our little ones left the nest. As the woman I'd want to grow old with.

Marriage was something I always wanted in my life — and that was clear with the proposal to my ex.

Falling in love again, wasn't.

And having children was something that I never wanted.

I couldn't imagine myself being a father — especially with what I went through. I didn't want to make a single mistake raising a child and having them live the life I lived. It's a place where my insecurity and lack of confidence still lived in.

However, with Serenity by my side, I knew I could do anything and everything — and succeed with flying colours.

Get out of your concrete zone.

The image was undeniably vivid and picturesque in my mind.

The two of us together, so perfectly happy, living in a house somewhere in the city or suburbs — wherever she wanted, really. Maybe in the city, though, so I could get back home quicker to her and the children. Two or four. Their gender didn't matter, but maybe a girl. A sweet daughter to look exactly like her mother. Stunning blue eyes with my dimples, taking a tad part of me. Or maybe a boy with brown or hazel eyes, similar to Serenity's brothers. I'd want every feature to come from her side of the family, nothing from mine.

I just know that I'll love them all unconditionally until my last breath.

But suddenly, a voice broke my thoughts as I looked up to see the last person I thought to see — and too soon.

No warning or nothing.

Surprises seemed to be a thing in my life lately.

"Hello, Harry."

My jaw and fists clenched at the sight of him.

Mateo Romero.

They were regular words. A simple greeting one would give to the other. But hearing him say them to me that night, and now, aggravated me.

My mentor and father figure that I used to have the biggest smile whenever I saw him, I now couldn't stand to see him.

With a single nod, I replied dryly, "Mr R."

"It's nice to see you again," he spoke calmly. "I might say, colour suits you very well."

"I would say the same, but things have changed. I'm not too sure about that anymore." I showed a sarcastic smile to show my annoyance towards him. "And I know it does. I look good and I don't need you to tell me that."

The scowl on his face was brief but he wiped it off quickly by disregarding my last comment. "Nothing's changed, Harry. You've just found out more of the truth."

"I really don't want to talk about this right now — or ever. I'm busy. So if you'd excuse me, I have work —"

"I had Iris reschedule the rest of your meetings for today."

"You have no rig—" I stopped myself from raising my voice anymore before muttering lowly, "Bloody fucking hell."

As much as he didn't have the right to do that, I still respected this man, and he was treated the same by everyone in the company. Iris wouldn't be able to say no to him. Even though she's only met him a handful of times and never worked for him, she still saw how I behaved towards him in the past.

His PA was also great at her work, but I couldn't handle the amount of times she flaunted herself towards me. I loved professionalism, and she didn't want to have just that. So I did what I had to do — I fired her.

I was the CEO, but when he came to visit, I'd get up from my chair and insist he sit there instead of me.

The respect I had for this man was ridiculously high.

"What do you say we go for coffee like old times?" he suggested with a smile, and I gave him a pointed look.

Letting out a scoff, I raised a brow. "I have no option now, do I?"

Tilting his head slightly, he rolled his lips together as he stood up straighter. "You can choose to say no, Harry. I won't force you to talk to me. The only difference you'll have is that you'll lose out on hearing more of the truth.

Did I really want to know what more of that 'truth' was? There were so many unanswered questions, and I wasn't sure if I would feel better after I got their explanations and reasonings. Everything was up in the air, and I hated that.

But there was only one reply I could say to him at this moment in time.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I mumbled, a deep sigh escaped my lips, then nodded my head. "Fine."

Mateo grinned. "Wonderful."

"I'm only doing this if you're willing to answer any question I have for you."

"If I can, I will."

"No." I shook my head. "I said any question, Mateo."

"And I said if I can, Harry," he retorted.

My eyes narrowed down on him, flexing my jaw, having not felt my hands fist until I got up from my chair.

It was the longest I've ever stayed seated whilst he stood standing in his presence. But like I'd told him, 'things have changed.'

Grabbing my coat and phone, I extended my arm out for him to walk in front of me. At least, I still had some of my manners left in me. I shook my head to myself as I followed him, utterly nervous about what was to come from this upcoming chat.

When I walked past Iris, our eyes met for a split second, and I knew that she would inform Serenity about this brief interaction. I didn't mind, though. I wanted Essie to know. That way, when I see her, I won't need to really explain in detail; instead, I'd just go straight into the conversation.

God help me.

♬ ✥*

The two of us walked in silence to the nearest Tim Horton's. I didn't want to stray too far away from the company.

"Let's just get coffee from there." That was the only thing I said to him once we left. It wasn't that I didn't want to go elsewhere or even have lunch together. I just didn't want to be around him for too long.

I wasn't sure how this conversation would go — and not even sure if hoping for the better would be a good thing.

We ordered two large black coffees, he went to pay, but I insisted on doing so. Like respect, I still had kindness.

But when we sat down, taking sips from our drinks, silence filled their air as we kept direct eye contact. It wasn't something I would typically do while in a nervous state, but I wanted to read the man I always trusted. Maybe it would; at least that way, I could get a hint of what I was into before we actually started talking.

This waiting game was eating me up inside, though. I wanted it to end.

And that's exactly what happened next — he finally broke it.

"So, Harry, what do you want to know?"

"Let's start off with a really basic question. Why the fuck did you lie to me for years?" I questioned sternly. "You know that I hate liars, and you were one of them the entire time."

"That's not true."

I scoffed. "Another fucking lie. What is the truth then, Mr Romero?"

"No need for formalities, Harry," he said, furrowing his brows. "You seem to have taken some qualities from your girlfriend. I heard she tends to inter—"

"I don't have a girlfriend. She's more than that. And don't you dare bring her up. Leave her out of this," I seethed, "I should've fucking known you'd already know everything about what's going on. Wouldn't be surprised if you had a PI after me since you found that woman."

No matter how much I've gotten over my ex, I still despised that term. Like I said — and to Essie — she really is so much more than a 'girlfriend' to me.

"My apologies," he answered with a single nod. "And you're right. I did."

"Are you shitting me right now? I was fucking around. I didn't actually mean that. I can't believe you've been keeping tabs on me. You're worse than my fucking father. Why the fuck would you even do that?"

"I truly am sorry for keeping this from you for so long. I should've told you as soon as I found out, but things were complicated."

"That's complete bullshit, and you know that," I spat, "And that doesn't answer the fact of why you were following me."

His brows furrowed together, then softened them before he spoke, "Can I explain?"

"Isn't that why we're here?" I deadpanned.

With a sigh, he nodded.

"I obviously knew everything about you from all the years we worked together, but since I left, my knowledge was slim. I was in Spain and didn't put my focus towards you, because I wanted my wasted time in the past to be solely for my family."

Fucking ouch.

I never noticed that I let that hurt flash on my face, because he clearly seemed to see it. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just my wife and daughter. My love for you is diff—"

"I don't care. Continue your little story," I firmly spoke.

Pathetic apologies were the last thing I needed to hear — because they were the most heartbreaking. One significant thing that came out from that statement was that I wasn't the first choice.

And some people I know in the business world, who I communicate with, wonder why I don't have friends.

But Serenity and her family were all I needed.

Mateo coughed in clear understanding as he saw my stoic expression.

"Anyway, after she beat her battle, I suggested coming here to Canada, and she agreed. I knew how you were doing with the company based on your decisions with others, but I wanted to know more about your private life. Well, we did. That was the purpose of the PI. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"I'd like to tell you want you can do with that apology because it means nothing," I seethed, "After everything you know about me, you're the last person I ever thought would do something so dirty."

"There's not a doubt that I love you, Harry. You're like you're the son I never had. I care about the things that happen to you, and it makes me happy to see you happy. I don't even need to see you to know that, because based on everyone in this company, they love you. You're a role model to them, son."

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Do you mind letting go of the profanity?"

"I can say what I —" I paused, hating how he still had a hold on my actions. He was never strict with me, but had a different way of convincing people. I was more vocal, whereas he, well, wasn't. "Fine."

"Alright then."

"So, are you going to actually talk or stall by talking about how much of a role model I am?" I said flatly as I watched him take a sip from his coffee.

"After I stepped down and gave you the new position, I mentioned it, but I went back to find her, and knowing my connections, it wasn't hard to do so. Not once did she slip my mind after all those years we spent apart."

"You never kept in contact through all those years after you left?" I questioned.

"No. It was easier for both of us that way," Mateo sighed. "Valentina's similar to you, you know? She doesn't trust people easily, but she let me in after seeing her again after several years. Until this very day, I don't know how lucky I am that she still felt the same way about me as before."

"Frankly, I'm don't care to know if she and I are similar." My eyes narrowed at his irrelevant statement.

"I just thought —"

"You thought nothing," I interrupted, then took a breath to compose myself before speaking again. "Why didn't you tell me about her earlier? I mean, who she says she is. You could've said something and let me know. We've remained in contact since you left the company."

"It wasn't my right to say anything," he explained. "I tried to push Valentina into telling you a few times after we reconciled, but she wasn't ready."

"Really? She wasn't ready? I thought the reason was because she had cancer and couldn't travel. But that wasn't the case. It was because she wasn't ready to find her son?" I said, letting out a sad laugh. "Wow, I had no idea that it took effort. It wouldn't have taken so long, especially after you knew where I was."

"It's not like that, Harry."

"Sure sounds like it," I bit back, pushing my coffee away from me as I leaned back in my chair. "I mean, I wouldn't know but shouldn't it be some natural instinct for the mother to be drawn to her children? Did she ever actually plan to confront me about this? If it was about seeing me in person, she could've sent a bloody fucking letter."

I knew I was acting like an upright dick right now, but I couldn't fucking help it. It was all so much for me, and I could barely wrap my head around it. If he was trying to magically make me change my mind and love them with his explanation, it wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, Harry, and this might sound bad, but she was selfish. She was taking care of herself. She didn't want to see if you turned out like your father. We both know how vile he is, and her health wouldn't have been able to handle it if you were," he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "It was when I found her again that she started opening up on her past more. That's when I told her that I knew you — that you were basically the son I never had."

My eyes narrowed in a glare towards him. "I said, don't call me that."

Mateo was pushing my limits, and I didn't know how much patience I had left in me before I snapped.

I did want to hear more about what was hidden from me all of these years. I grew to want to know how many lies were told from the only man I trusted. I wanted to know more of what Valentina had to say through him.

"I'm not like my father, and you could've told her that. You know me."

"You still don't understand, Harry," he spoke, shaking his head.

"Oh, dear mentor, do tell me the truth because it's just eating me up inside. The excitement is so intense," I enthusiastically sneered.

The attempt at comedic use was worse than actually being upset.

It all hurt.

"Valentina was going to tell you, even after she got sick, but things got complicated. The doctors told her that stress wasn't good for her. Estela had to drop out of university to take care of her, and if she told you, it would've felt like she was putting a burden on you."

"The time never would've mattered. That woman showing up put a burden on me. Period," I snapped.

"She only knew the things she could get her hands on. Anything public, really. She didn't have enough money to hire a PI to find you. When I met her, I didn't even know she was your mother until after we got married. She never showed me those things before."

"Public things you say?" I said with a short laugh. "So shouldn't she have found information about me after I came to Canada? You know, going to university, being apart of clubs, working in your company."

"She never knew you left the UK. It's why she didn't before."

"For fucks sake, do you even hear what you're saying right now? Everything coming out of your mouth is just making it worse for me to like her — or even you, for that matter. How could she not have known I left? You just said it yourself. Public. Public. Public." The emphasis on that word couldn't be any more clearer.

Nothing made sense, and everything was truly going downhill from here.

"And you knew that I left!" I snapped.

"It's not that easy, Harry. When I told Valentina, she was already sick and couldn't travel. And I'm sure she told you about what your father did to her. She's been afraid of your father with what he can do. He could imprison her for things that she hasn't even done. Things that he could make up on the spot. He sent her warning letters to make sure that she would never get in contact with you," he said with a sigh. "And you and I both know that you would've been furious if she did that, at least when you found out. Or am I wrong?"

I let out a deep breath. He was right.

I fucking hated that.

I would have been beyond pissed.

But he was just missing something; I was already fucking pissed. The whole situation was driving me fucking mad.

"But you have the money, Mateo. You could've helped her. Right? Isn't that what love is all about?"

"I'm not in a position that could do anything to truly help anymore. You are, though. If your father tries to pull anything now, you're the only person he wouldn't be able to target."

I laughed. I actually laughed.

"Do you hear what you're saying right now? Ever since I took over as CEO, he's been trying to fuck me up. I never told you because I haven't given him the chance to do that. You think that just because I have this title, it makes me immune to what he can do? I work so fucking hard to make sure it doesn't happen. And —"

But then I stopped.

My thoughts screamed faster than lightning with this one question that just couldn't escape my mind.

"Wait a second, did you choose me to be CEO so I could make sure Urban Corp. stays standing so that my father couldn't destroy it? He never liked you, I know that."

I paused, and he remained silent — and I waited, hoping that wasn't the case.

"No, Harry." Mateo shook his head. "I chose you because you were the best person to take over the position. No one had the skills and talent that you have to be able to do it. You were new, and the BOD wasn't entirely on board with my decision, but they managed to agree with me. And ever since you became the CEO and President of Urban Corp., you've made it even more successful than I ever could have.

"I always liked you, Harry. I never knew who you were when you interned for me. You were just a regular intern who turned into one of my employees at that's all."

Slowly, I nodded at his words. There was truth in them, and I believed him. The fact that I still had some trust in him was a tad surprising — when it shouldn't be.

Looking down, I carefully tossed the cup between my hands and then spoke, "When I shadowed you, you told me that when you went to Spain, you fell in love but didn't stay. So that was her, right?"

"I know Valentina already mentioned it, and yes, but I couldn't. I had my company to run, and truth be told, I wasn't ready to be a father yet."

Looking back up at him, I scoffed, holding an unpleased expression. "Wow. So you really just dumped her? Sounds like my deadbeat father."

His brows furrowed in slight anger. "Don't compare me to him, Harry."

I knew Mateo never liked him either — we always had that in common.

"Oh well, gee, forgive me. It doesn't seem like there's a difference to me," I replied sarcastically, as he rolled his lips in.

He remained silent in response.

The fact that they didn't even remain in communication since he left made everything seem identical to my case.

"Did you at least give her money so she could live? And well, raise your kid?"

With a single nod of his head, he replied, "I tried, but she didn't accept it. I did send some to the last address I had for her after I left, but when I came back to find her, she gave me the full amount. Valentina never spent a penny of it. For a long time, I thought she didn't get it because she moved, but that wasn't the case. Her living came from low-wage jobs. She was a cook, a cleaner, a bare janitor for schools, and was never treated with respect, but she did it all to keep a roof over their heads, food on the table, and able to give a stable life for our daughter.

"She's a wonderful woman, Harry, and a great mother."

My brows furrowed in disgust.

Yes, I understood that she was deported. Yes, I understood she was sick and couldn't come. Yes, I understood that she didn't have money to find me. Yes, I understood that she went through hell to survive — we had that in common.

Obviously, no one would want to tell me they loved me sooner. It was always later — or never. I couldn't even remember the last time I heard those words come out of my father's mouth. Or hell, any of my family. Nothing ever proved that they truly loved me.

But according to Valentina and those baby pictures, it seemed the complete opposite.

Everything changes, though — and that was the biggest change.

But I couldn't understand how she was a good mother. I never experienced that for myself, and as much as I even saw it through Gennie and Serenity, she still wasn't my mother for me to truly know what it was like to grow up with someone so wonderful.

"It's been years," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I attempted to process everything he was saying. "How old is she? Estela?"

"She's eight years younger than you."

Pinching my bottom lip, I looked up at him. "She looked younger."

"She turned twenty-one on July 1st," he said, pausing, "You can meet her, you know."

"No," I bluntly told him. "I'm not ready to meet her, and I wasn't ready to even meet with you. I wanted answers, that's it. I don't want more on my plate."

"No matter what, she is your sister."

"Half-sister, Mateo. Half. That doesn't mean shit to me right now. I'm not saying I don't want anything to do with her. I need time. Is that too much to ask?" I snapped, "I need to process everything and let it sink in. It's not just telling me that you got a new puppy."

Mateo wasn't forcing me, but it was just how he was. 'Just give people a little push and see what happens.' It's something he said to me in the past.

"Of course. I understand," he simply said.

But he didn't understand. No one could understand what I was going through right now.

"Are they staying long?" I cleared my throat. "Here in Canada?"

"Yes. Estela is here on a work visa. It's how you saw her at the hotel. She was studying hospitality management and wanted to take any position to try and see how it would work for her. Even if she was just a waitress, she's got the chance to see how things are. Eric doesn't know she exists. As for your mother —"

"Valentina. Her name is Valentina. Not my mother."

Mateo clenched his jaw and rolled his shoulders back, then nodded. "As for Valentina, I applied for her to get citizenship. She's here with a PRC right now. I made sure she's safe when I brought her back with me. I still have my house here, and that's where she's staying. Estela comes to visit when she can. You can come to visit anyti—"

"No. I'm not visiting anyone, and I can't tell you when, or if, I'll be doing that."

"I know it's hard, and it came all of a sudden, but it was time for you to meet them. I'm sorry I never said anything before, and I told you why I couldn't, but it's time for that to change. Of course, I can't force you to have them in your life, but it would be nice. I saw it in your eyes, Harry, and you mentioned it when you drank a little too much whiskey one night."

What the fuck? I did? Clearly, that slipped my conscious mind.

"It's clear that you're happy with your girlf—Serenity and that her family gives you that loving feeling, but I think it would be nice to have your own."

"Her family is my family. I'm a part of it. So don't give me shit that I need another one," I seethed.

Letting out a deep breath, he nodded. "Like I said, it's your choice. Our door is always open if you ever choose to enter."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," I said, shaking my head as I got up. "Anything else you have to say? Because frankly, I think this conversation is over."

"No, nothing more." A small smile curled on his lips. "Don't forget what I said. Think about it."

"Right then," I said dryly, and without another word, I trashed the rest of my coffee coffee, and left.

I didn't know where to go because the company wasn't an option. Essie had classes until the evening, and I couldn't be selfish to interrupt them. I've done that countless times, and that last time was enough. Seeing her afterward when her little dancers were leaving was something else. The time after I told her I loved her, they all had warm smiles on their faces as I greeted her with a kiss. Many ooh's were told, and she couldn't help but laugh as she shooed them away.

Once they all left and were out of sight, she pulled me into her office and kissed me passionately.

There was one place I thought about going to, somewhere that made me happy when I was feeling sad.

When I made it back to the company, I had Archie drive me back to my condo. He noticed I wasn't in the greatest mood, so he kept silent, but I could still see his eyes flick over to me through the rearview mirror.

With brief waves, I greeted the workers in the lobby and went up to the rooftop.

And there it was — my little flower greenhouse.

I knew there wouldn't be many flowers that survived in the winter, but it still had the aura of joy that I loved.

Walking inside, the soft chime of the bell echoed as I opened and closed the door beside me. I adjusted the temperature to something a little more suitable just so I could sit here for a while.

Shrugging off my coat, I took a seat on the stool and looked around me. All I could think about was the first time I brought Essie here.

And the time I fell in love with her.

Fuck, it felt like so long ago, and it also felt like yesterday.

The moments I had with her were the past, present, and future. I just wanted to embrace myself in all of her, focusing on my serene girl to live my life in happiness.

Serenity tried to tell me not to, that I would fall if anything happened between us, and she didn't want that. But I didn't care because she was it for me. Even if I did fall, it wouldn't be from losing her, since that would never happen, but it would be falling deeper in love with the woman who showed me what that emotion truly was.

Absolutely everything roamed around in my head, and I didn't know how to stop them from racing like cars in the Formula 1.

I let my head lean against the cold window, attempting to let them quiet when I came back to the memory of Essie making me a flower crown.

And that's when my eyes closed, silencing my thoughts.

...

A/N:

Ooof. Now that was a hefty chapter.

Let's do a real quick recap:

-We love Tiger and Essie (known fact)
-Mateo showed up
**they talked...talked...and talked
     **Harry's dad is still a dick
**Valentina is an interesting character

So, how do we feel about Mateo? And what about Valentina? Positive or negative thoughts are more than welcome. Do we like them or not? Can't say much for Estela yet because we haven't really met her yet.

Did Harry overreact? Under react? Or act just right?

Anyhoo, what did y'all dig the chapter? What was your favourite part and all? Y'know me and my curious self.

What do you think will happen next?

Let's not forget that Christmas is right around the corner too...what will come of that? 👀

And ooh, pretty please press on that little star on the chapter, I mean, it only takes a millisecond. They're nice gifts and make me (and Essie...and Harry) happy.

Kissy, stay golden, and always TPWK my beautiful tulips 🌷

S x

P.S. Here's the face claim for Mateo Romero (Robert Downey Jr.)

P.P.S. In case the picture didn't load last chapter, here's the face claim for Valentina Hernandez (Mia Maestro)