Hi everyone!

I've been stuck on something for awhile now. A few things since a time last year have completely turned my life upside down, I can totally say exactly a few months ago I had no idea what it was to feel depressed, anxious or anything like that but just a month later, I knew it all in one hit.

There are alot of things that keep me awake til 2-3 am each night. Kung ano bang gusto kong gawin sa buhay, kung sino pa ba ako (because I barely recognize myself nowadays), why I have this miserable life, and... how can I find myself again. Natatakot ako araw araw na baka ganito na ako palagi, pero lumalaban ako kasi kailangan ko.

I know I have Him, who loves me endlessly and helps wash away the demons inside my head. I have friends, ALOT, irl, but we do not speak to personally about these issues. My family and I all have great relationships but I know they would just dodge all of my hardships because I'm a pathetic adolescent. I have bbf and s8, but I'm scared enough to open this up to them because I'm scared it might freak them out and it'll just add to their life problems. So I pretty much keep it all to myself and want to figure this out that way. Mas madali. Mas masasanay akong mag isa.

I keep wishing I can go back to over a year ago and be the cute girl who was so damn happy, who woke up each day and lived each day with purpose, the girl who was happy to socialize and just live!  I want to be that girl so much, again. I want to do all of those things, but I just can't. I don't know if some of you will understand (I hope someone does), but I cannot get myself out of this without falling into anxiousness, sadness or self doubt.

Lots of love, we will all be okay soon.