May nabasa ako noon na, "You can love so many people, but you can only be in love with one."

And for my case?

The luckiest people are those who fall in love more than once in a lifetime. Lahat naman siguro ng pagmamahal naiiba pero yung mararamdaman mo uli sa isa or sa next mong mamahalin yung feeling na naramdaman mo sa first love mo, is a truly, special, thing.

I have only been in love once. Sobrang bata ko pa eh, so, I know that more likely than not, I will be one of the lucky ones who gets the chance to fall in love again. Kahit gaano ko pa ipakita yung loyalty ko sa isang tao, walang forever. Yun ang totoo.

Pero kahit na, hindi enough yung rason na maiinlove uli ako para makalimutan yung first love ko. Each and every one of you who already had their first loves knows the struggle. Sobrang hirap; to this day, I still spend more time dwelling on my past, as much as I try my best not to do so.

The breakup (wow breakup ba yon) was too... shell,,, shocking?? When my first love reached its eventual expiration date, hindi ako handa. Well sino bang handa sa breakups diba? Basta, I wasn't ready.

It was like someone had to shut out the lights and closed the door behind him, leaving me trapped, screaming in the dark. Masakit yon. Mahirap yon.

I used to have a strong sense of self. But then, the person I loved most in the world broke me. And all of a sudden, just like that, I forgot who I was. Ganun nalang.

Naisip ko nun, ganun pala yung feeling? Yun pala yon. And i thought, what is it about falling in love that makes even the sanest person go, insane? What is it about putting someone else's needs above our own that makes us forget our own.

I wasn't only devastated; I was devastated with curiosity. I had a million and one questions, and no one was ━ or is ━ willing and able to give me answers.

So here's some tagalog questions only for him. Tagalog para tagos.

1. Kung tinrato kaya kita ng maayos, hindi ka kaya susuko?

Was it an annoying flaw in my character that drove you away, or did I just not give us my all?

2. Kung makakabalik ka sa oras, pinaglaban mo na kaya ako? Laban sa sarili mo?

I wonder if you still look back and wonder if we were worth a fight.

3. Kung nakilala kaya kita sa tamang oras at tamang lugar, ganito parin kaya yung kalalabasan?

The "perfect" love happens when we meet the right person at the right time. What if I had met you when we were kids? What if I had met you when we were both a little older and a little wiser?

4. Minahal mo ba ako ng nakasarado yang puso mo?

The instances that there's someone from your past who kept you from loving me all along.

5. Magmamahal ka ba ng iba kagaya nung pagmamahal mo sa'kin?

Just because you're done loving me doesn't mean you won't fall for someone else.

6. Nakamove on ka na sa lahat lahat?

I know I haven't, but I get a little closer to moving on from you every day.

7. Naiisip mo parin ba ako?

I know you don't think about me all the time ━ the way I think of you ━ but maybe you do from time to time.

8. Matutuloy pa kaya 'to in the future?

Stupid right? But where does the love that was once there go, anyway? Does it transform entirely, or can it be reused and recycled?

9. Ba't kailangan nating matapos sa ganong paraan?

How could something that started out so beautifully end up leaving marks this ugly?

10. Naumay ka lang ba o ginusto mo pa ng sobra?

They warned me about young love, and they were right. Your heart wasn't in it because you had your eye on the rest of the world's possibilities.

11. Ako ba o ikaw?

In my heart of hearts, I know there is not one definitive answer ━ but I still run circles in my mind.

12. Nung nakasama mo ako, nagimprove ka ba into a better person?

I don't need to know that you ever loved me the way I loved you. I just need to know that you learned something about love from the way I loved you.

13. May pinagsisisihan ka ba sa lahat ng napagdaanan natin?

As for me, I don't. I don't regret that we met, and I don't regret that I helplessly fell for you. I regret nothing.

What's that they say? Oh, right. Curiosity killed the heartbroken.