hi, hope you're safe and happy. this is a new chapter that hasn't ever been published and even if you are a re-reader (then I love you and thank you), I would recommend reading all the chapters even if you are familiar with the story because I've made quite a few changes.

new readers and the old ones too, welcome to external affairs!! thank you for giving this book a chance, I hope it doesn't disappoint. this an insight purely into Will and Iris in college and that's why it doesn't include a bunch of other characters which I'm so excited for you to meet in the next chapter.

it would be lovely if you could vote and comment your thoughts, thank you!

much love,

nevada

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It is easier to figure who isn't meant for you.

It was odd to look at the world that way — looking at people and just knowing they weren't meant for you. There exist many ways to figure out how someone isn't meant for you. One was seeing the obvious dissimilarities and knowing you wouldn't match. Second was the feeling that you deserved better — it might come a little late into the relationship but it surely did come and once the realisation hits, it's impossible to ignore it. It's like moss growing over you or a disease spreading over your skin. The third way was what I felt with Will. It was how I knew that we weren't meant to be together.

When I first noticed Will Kang, he was lying. I had stopped at the admin office to pick up a few things for my classes in college. The receptionist had happened to bring her young daughter who seemed to be crying about something. The girl didn't look like she could be more than seven years old and even that was a stretch. She had black hair although they were cut short and barely reached her small and narrow shoulders and she had big green eyes, slightly lighter than my own.

"Oh, baby," the receptionist said to the little girl, "the doll can't be fixed anymore, it's broken. I'll buy you a new one."

"NO," the girl screamed and the boy standing beside me flinched. He threw an irritated look towards the girl and she started wailing even more. The boy snatched his papers from the desk and left, muttering under his breath about how children shouldn't be brought to work. I gave the receptionist a consoling smile, almost like I was telling her it was going to be okay soon and that I didn't mind at all. The receptionist seemed irritated enough but flashed a sad smile to me. "I want only Joy. She left me!" The girl shrieked again.

I hadn't noticed by another boy had stepped through the door and was standing near me. I glanced at him and then just couldn't take my eyes off him. Dark brown hair fell into his eyes as he charmingly told the receptionist what he wanted. His lashes brushed against cheeks when he blinked and there was something so, so soothing about his voice.

"Do you mind if I talk to her?" He asked the receptionist, clearly indicating that he wanted to talk to the baby girl. The girl realised that the conversation was about her and stop crying for a moment and looked up adorably at the boy, her eyes wide.

"No, not at all, go ahead." The receptionist told the boy and gave him a warm smile, clearly appreciating him even though she didn't know what he was about to do.

I realised I was staring and looked in front of me, as if I hadn't noticed he was there. The little girl was standing beside the desk. He stepped aside and kneeled in front of me her to match her gaze. She didn't take a step back and I realised that she wasn't afraid of him. He seemed to exude so much warmth that it was almost impossible to be afraid of him. 

"I've been left alone too," he told her in probably the softest voice I had ever heard from anyone. It sounded sincere and I couldn't help but wonder how a stranger could sound like home. Shocked at the way I just felt even though I hadn't a clue about him, not even his name, I shook my head to no one in particular.  I couldn't help but look at him.

"Why did she leave me?" The child was clearly grieving the death of her doll. She had put her tiny hands in her hair, a sign of frustration of not having the answers she wanted. She peppered the boy with a few more questions.

Both the receptionist and I had our gazes fixed onto him as he wove a lie about the doll finding happiness in a faraway land, about how the doll wasn't responding to letters because she was lost in euphoria, about how the doll only wished happiness on everyone and finally ended the story by saying that the doll could only be happy if the girl was happy. The receptionist had forgotten about the work she had to do for me and I had forgotten about what I wanted to get done.

The girl seemed to be rather satisfied with the story. She stepped closer to her mother and pulled on the edge on her mother's top. "I want Joy happy," she told her mother, "Joy wants me happy." The girl glanced at boy who gave her the warmest smile ever.

The receptionist looked at the boy with gratitude. "Baby, you should thank — I'm sorry, dear, I didn't catch your name."

"Will," he informed her, "and she doesn't need to thank me."

His eyes seemed relieved and there was an undertone of satisfaction in them. The small girl gave Will one last smile before heading off somewhere into the inner parts of the office. The receptionist ended up giving whatever Will wanted first even though I had been standing here longer. I didn't complain though, it felt like he deserved it. He had earned it. She thanked him one last time. 

"Iris Arlington," the reception called out my name and dragged my eyes away from Will. "Here are your papers."

He looked at me for a moment before taking his papers and heading out the door. Sunshine, I thought, he feels like sunshine.

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There was something about Will that definitely shined. He looked like one of those who would talk people into murdering for a good cause or going to war or staying still as someone punched them in the gut. I didn't know if Will knew people but people definitely knew him. I sometimes heard them whisper his name and I would catch it. It was always praise. Why was I catching his name and looking out for signs of him? There was some part of me that was fascinated by the goodness in him. When I first looked at someone like him, goodness is not the first thing I expected from him. He had sharp and beautiful features, almost as though he wasn't haphazardly put together rather his cell in his body was perfected.

The college had the annual health check up that each of us had to compulsorily go through and for the medical students, it was a hassle. We assisted in the check up and I had been assigned to be take the blood tests for the day which I decided was going to be a lot of shrieking and fainting. As a medical student and since I was young, blood didn't scare me. The dark crimson flowing out the body — because out of all the things I could describe that I'm made of, the first thought usually wasn't blood. It was fascinating because I would usually say one is made of their thoughts, their habits, the way they treat others yet all of us are just made of some dark liquid, bones and things that weren't visible to the naked eye. Maybe that's why medicine fascinated me — I felt like if I looked close enough, at the brain or the heart, I would uncover the reason behind what made each person different. Maybe if I peered close at the thing inside my skull, I would find the reason I cried inexplicably or why the smallest acts of kindness made my day.

I didn't realise I was about to crash into a door until someone put their arm in front of me and my shoulder blade crashed against the strong arm. My eyes searched for his. I looked up and there he was — and I wondered what he was made of? Sunshine, probably and lots of charm.

Will was looking at me worriedly but not the way you worry about someone you love but the general worry one feels for a stranger, out of humanity. "Careful, we don't want all those needles on the floor and pricking you." He said teasingly although the undertone of worry didn't fade away. I looked down at the box of needles in my arms, all of them in plastic covers.

I had often wondered what my first interaction with Will would look like and I had wanted it to be perfect. I wanted him to be as impressed with me as I had been with him when I first saw him. It wasn't supposed to be his steadying presence stopping me when I was lost in my thoughts. I flashed him a hesitant smile and all I could think of was: it isn't supposed to be like this. Something felt wrong. "Thank you," I muttered under my breath and I wasn't even sure he heard it. I didn't wait for a response. I turned around and went towards the room where the blood tests were being taken.

My seat was beside a window and it was a rather sunny day, I could feel the heat of the side of my face constantly. Luckily, the person who came for the blood test only experienced it momentarily unlike me. I took the blood from a few students, a few looked away and a few let out a small noises and it was going rather smoothly until that one boy.

"I'm just — get that thing away from me, give me a moment." He said, his green eyes shone at me with anxiety. He wasn't even seated on the chair, he was standing and conversing with me.

"Take your time, don't worry," I tried to say it in a calming tone, "it actually doesn't hurt at all, you don't even realise when it happens." I felt bad for him and I understood his fear slightly, I had seen my dad being scared to death by needles. He was better with them now due to his constant visits to the hospital.

"Is there a way to skip this?" He asked shakily.

"Unfortunately, it is mandatory." I told him and he probably knew that. I didn't understand why people asked questions that they knew the answers to.

"Could you maybe take someone's blood and then just write my name? Please — seriously, I'll even pay —"

"I'm so sorry, I really can't do that." I said slowly and a bit firmly. I wasn't about to accept bribes. "It'll over in a matter of seconds." I knew it wasn't him but his fear speaking and that's why I didn't sharply tell him to shut up about paying me money.

"We don't have forever, get the bloody test done!" Someone shouted from in the line, I couldn't pinpoint who it was but the unsympathetic voice annoyed me.

"Ignore them," I said to the boy, "you can take your time but yes, you'll have to get it done. Also, watch the next person, all right? It'll help you realise how quick and painless this is." I hoped the next person who came wasn't scared of needles. The boy nodded meekly and stepped aside for the next person to come and sit.  I wondered if I had seen the boy before in the hall way but honestly, I didn't notice anyone in the hallway except —

Will was sitting in front of me. The sunlight hit one side of his face, making one eye look more golden than the other that was brown. His features were a beautiful blend of sharp and soft. His eyes were soft and every time he blinked, his long lashes brushed against his cheekbones. His nose was straight and the way he smiled at me with his scarily perfect teeth made my heart flutter.

I blushed and hoped he didn't notice. Will looked over to the boy standing and watching eagerly. "It's not scary honestly." He said to him and gave him an encouraging smile and I couldn't help but smile at Will. He met my gaze and smiled through his eyes — a soft, nice one. I felt my hands slightly tremble and it wasn't because I wasn't used to drawing blood but because it was him. So close, leaning close as his collarbones peaked through his grey t-shirt and I recognised the citrus radiating off his skin.

I took a deep breath and slightly shook my head to get rid of the thoughts inside my head. I wrapped the tourniquet around the space above his forearm — making his veins prominently visible. Will looked over the boy and he was intently watching Will. Will knew that his own reaction would either end up encouraging the boy or scaring him off. Will met my gaze confirming what he was thinking and he looked calm as hell. Will looked like he was here, not to get a blood test but to relax. His face was neutral.

That was until I felt his fingers on mine, shaking — so, so terribly one would think that such terrible shaking only happened when one cried. I hadn't realised that one palm of mine was pressed under the table and Will had clearly brought his hand under the table to hide it and he was so scared that he didn't even realise that our fingers were tangled together. His fingers were feverishly hot and they just wouldn't stop shaking. Shocked by his touch, I met his gaze only to see the deadly calm on his face as if this was a daily procedure.

Liar, I thought to myself until I noticed the slight sheen of sweat on his forehead and his shallow breath. It wasn't obvious but if you looked close enough you could see a few visible signs. While his hand shook, his other hand on the table was awfully still. I tried to hide my surprise and appreciation and slowly removed my fingers from his.

Will seemed to realise that he had put his hand atop of mine under the table and flushed a deep red, the blood clear on his cheeks and it would be on his arm. He didn't say anything out of embarrassment and I didn't meet his gaze either, pretending to be focused on drawing out the blood. It was a simple process and I looked up when the process was done to see Will had put the other hand on the table too and it wasn't shaking anymore.

I pressed a gauze at the spot from where I drew blood. "Keep it here for about fifteen minutes." I said to him softly. My voice was involuntarily soft because out of everyone in this room, I was the only person other than him who knew that he was terrified of this entire thing.

He nodded and gave me a small, shy smile. "Thank you." He said and got up to leave. I wanted to say something but I couldn't, I was too full of admiration for him. The boy standing nearby was clearly encouraged and agreed to go through the process next.

As I watched Will go, I realised the third way of knowing how someone wasn't meant for you. I always knew that I wasn't very beautiful, I was what one would say is an average looking person. Plain blonde hair, simple green eyes, not particularly noticeable and I thought that if I wasn't very beautiful on the outside, at least I could be beautiful on the inside. I strived to be kinder, nicer, smarter and helpful and then people like Will came and destroyed everything. He was beautiful on the inside and outside and in every which way and he was so much more better in everything. The third way to know someone isn't meant for you is looking at them and knowing they deserve more and they deserve better.

When I looked Will, I realised someone like me would never do. He deserved someone who was beautiful outside and even more beautiful inside and someone who didn't look at themselves and know that they are painfully mediocre. He deserved extraordinary because he was extraordinary.