here's the third chapter. unlike my other stories, the relationship in this book will develop slower as i wanted to try out a slow - burn romance for once. i also will be focusing a lot on other aspects like friendship, death etc. the chapter was a lot longer than expected (around 5k words woah)  so i hope you're ready to read a slightly longer chapter.

all that happens in this chapter, hasn't ever happened and i am changing a lot of aspects about this book so i hope you like it. i can't wait for things to start getting serious. 

i would appreciate it if  you could vote (if you liked the chapter) and comment on what you liked and disliked. also, do you prefer longer chapters or shorter chapters? 

thank you so much for reading <3  you can find me on goodreads with the same username, i review every book i read and i am very active there. link is in my bio! 

xnevada

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03

[serotonin ➳ serotonin is regarded by some researchers as a chemical that is responsible for maintaining mood balance, and that a deficit of serotonin leads to depression]

EVERYONE HAS A COMFORT CHARACTER, the one that you think about when everything is crumbling or the one that you go to and rest your head against as everything crashes and burns. That was Will Kang for me. Whenever I found tears slipping down my cheeks or felt that nothing would ever get better — I would usually fall asleep thinking about Will. I would imagine him, in some exquisite looking country, doing the one job that he loves and just being content and happy with his life. I would find myself feeling sleepy then and slightly better, knowing that someone who deserved happiness had actually found it and then I knew everything was going to be all right.

Looking at Will, who was seated in front of me on a high chair that made him the same height as me when he sat down, all I could see was that he was in pain and his eyes were drowning in turmoil. It shattered my dream that he was happy and I wanted to tell him that he wasn't going to be unhappy for long and that everything would fix itself because he was the kind of person who made everything fall into place.

Except I couldn't say that and all I could do was fix him — externally.

I had fished out the first aid box from the cabinet and walked towards him. I had brought him to the Conference - hangout room because it was the only place I could think of for treating small wounds. I closed the space between us, my breath hitching as he looked up to meet my gaze. I had never seen him this closely and the twenty year old Iris inside of me seemed to tremble and flutter at the sight of him in such close proximity.

I steadied my voice. "I'm going to examine your wound and give it basic treatment and if more is needed, I will be providing you with that too." Will gave me a small nod. I was about to tell him to take his shirt off but just then, he lifted his hand to run it through his hair and flinched in pain. If I were to only judge by his expressions, he had seemed as though he was in deep, calm meditation on the rooftop. He hadn't let even the slightest bit of pain show on his face. It was scary.

I took a step towards him, my breath getting slightly shallower. You're a doctor, I scolded myself, act like one. I could see the beautiful hollow of his throat and the place where his pulse was. His swallowed in pain and I reached out to him. I shivered as my hands unbuttoned the first button on his shirt. It felt like a long time had passed and no time at all between unbuttoning the first and second button. He smelled like cedar wood and blood, and his scent seemed to mix with the general scent of an hospital. There was a chill in the air.

As I reached for the third button, someone interrupted me. "Iris," Laila said and I turned around to look at her. My hands frozen on the third button. She continued, "Lucas is here."

That was enough for me to drop my hands from Will's shirt because I didn't want him to see them tremble. I hurriedly made my way towards Laila without saying a word to Will, which I should have as a well mannered person. "How long has he been here?" I asked as I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"I'm not sure," Laila said thoughtfully, "He is in the waiting room, right now. He did throw a tantrum at the reception —"

"Oh God," I muttered to myself and rubbed my temples, "please treat Mr. Kang, he's hurt and dizzy. It's probably a laceration. I'm sorry and thank you for telling me."

"No worries, I'll take care of it." Laila said as she glanced at Will. Her eyes widened in surprise, clearly she wasn't expecting him to be so good looking. She gave me her classic ravenous look which she had when she looked at someone she found beautiful and headed towards him. Something inside of me burned as she looked at him that way but I decided to ignore it, it was probably my twenty year-old self realising that his radiance was not something only I had discovered. I ignored my thoughts.

I was terrified what Lucas might do if I didn't show up on time. I rushed out of the room and crossed the hallway to the waiting room, which was filled with quite a few people. I could see Lucas, his dark blond hair pushed back into spikes and his terrifying black eyes were fixed on his shoe, his feet tapping against the floor.

I felt my heartbeat in my ears and my fist clenching as I steeled to talk to my boyfriend.

It had been technically two years since we were 'together' but every time I saw him, I felt myself shivering from terror but somehow, it was less than it had been in the beginning. Our mothers were best friends and I had known Lucas since I was ten years old and somehow, reminding myself that I was familiar with him made me slightly less scared. I knew I could handle him, I always did.

As I entered the room, I saw Lucas look up and fix his eyes onto me like a gun pinpointing it's target. Anger flooded his eyes and he stomped towards, his cruel lips twisted in a frown.

He didn't greet me. He reached out and gripped my forearm so tightly it hurt. I tried to keep a neutral expression. "Why didn't you respond to my text?" He growled, his voice was like poison to my ears. His black eyes were devoid of love. Forget love, any emotion except hatred.

"Lucas, can we talk about this somewhere else?" I whispered lowly so no one could hear me. People stared at the television screen in front of them that was playing a baseball match. There were a handful of people but they were barely paying attention to match, they were just staring at it blankly, anxiously waiting for their loved ones to get better and a doctor to come and ease their worries.

"This is a perfectly good place to talk," Lucas said loudly, attracting the attention of a few. I noticed Mr. and Mrs. Smith from earlier — who had lost their son but didn't know about it yet — turn to look at me. Lucas gave me a twisted and wicked smile, "Answer the question before I let everyone here know what our conversation is about."

Lucas knew I hated public tantrums more than I hate most things and even though, the matter right now was as simple as not answering a text and yet he chose to torment me with something he knew I disliked. I let out a breath and blinked rapidly. "Look, I'm sorry, I was busy." My words sounded mechanical to me so it was no surprise when Lucas's anger only flared at them.

He fished out a bracelet from his pocket and slid his hand down from his forearm to my wrist, making me feel sick to my stomach. He clasped the bracelet around my wrist — it was a plain silver bracelet with hearts hanging around it. I hated hearts. I absolutely did — they were ridiculously obvious. I didn't say that to him though. "I told you after our talk that I would try to be a better boyfriend but you just don't cooperate."

"Yes," My throat felt dry and I felt as if I was shouldering the weight of the earth. I forced the words out of me. "I know." I couldn't get myself to apologise.

Lucas clasped my wrist tightly. He was towering over me — he was huge. I couldn't help as my face twisted in pain."You know? You stupid doctors think they know everything just because you —"

"I do know more than you, Lucas," I said, loosing control over myself, "at least where the sane topics are concerned."

"How dare —"

I definitely knew more than him on any sane topic under the sun but before he could say anything, someone interrupted him. "Dr. Arlington?" Lucas and I both turned our heads to see Will standing at the door, his eyes blank and formal. His brown eyes reminded me of the barks of trees in endless forests. The people around us had been blatantly hearing our conversation and doing nothing but there was no curiosity in Will's eyes. I wondered how much of the conversation he had heard.

I tried to pull my hand away but Lucas's grip was too tight. I saw irritation flicker across Will's face as he his saw that and yet his voice was steady. "I need to talk to you. Urgently." I almost breathed a sigh of relief.

I would escape.

That was until I heard Lucas speak. "Can't you see I'm speaking to her?" Luca said, almost shouting at him.

Will shot him a dark look, letting him know that he didn't appreciate being spoken to like that. I felt humiliated to be in front of Will like this. Will looked at me as if trying to figure something out. It was as if he wanted to do something but he didn't know whether he would be overstepping a boundary if he did so. He didn't know whether I wanted him to help or not. It was as if he could sense that I was uncomfortable.

"Yes, I have the power of sight, if that's you are asking." Will answered sarcastically yet pointedly and didn't move from his place. His brown eyes were fixated on Lucas until he glanced down once again at the way he was clasping my wrist. Something in Will's eyes snapped, as if he was sure of what he was doing.

"Well, then leave —"

"Like I said, it is urgent and I'm sure you're aware that doctors know everything about their patient and that's why only Dr. Arlington can help me in this situation." That definitely confirmed how much he had heard. There was no gentleness about the way Will spoke and yet it wasn't full of sentiment either. It was strict, formal and unrelenting.

Lucas flushed with anger and let my hand go. "We'll talk later." Lucas said. I nodded, surprised that he hadn't put more of a fight. I didn't want to question him too much in case he changed his mind. I rushed out of the room with Will following me.

I wanted to thank Will but I felt so humiliated. Humiliated because I hated feeling weak and Will had caught me when I was usually the weakest and could barely put a fight. That's why I hated talking to Lucas in front of people — I hated how he made me feel. Weak and useless and like a puppet. I probably was too.

Will didn't say anything about what just transpired until I stopped at a place faraway from and I caught my breath. I tried to make it as normal as possible. I turned towards Will, his brown eyes were softer now. The blank look had slipped from his face and had been replaced with concern.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment, "he shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"You haven't done anything wrong, Dr. Arlington." Will told me, his voice gentle. I could see the bandages under his shirt, wounded tightly around him. I noticed his eyes glanced down to quickly scan my wrist, and relief seemed to pass over him when he saw that there were no marks, his shoulders relaxed.

"I know — but still, it's actually, uh," I fumbled to come up with an excuse for Lucas. Some part of me didn't want to. I couldn't tell Will anything without revealing what was happening between Lucas and I.

Will seemed to sense my hesitation and spoke, "It's fine, really, you don't have to explain or apologise on his behalf. I just hope you're fine." There was so much kindness in the way Will treated people, I realised. He didn't push me to explain my relationship with Lucas but as soon as he sensed that I was uncomfortable, he had helped. I couldn't express my gratitude enough. He didn't look at me with pity either as most people did when they stepped into an argument between Lucas and I and mind you, it happened often because Lucas loved throwing tantrums in public. Most good people who intervened would give me a look of pity and leave but not Will, he only had worry and slight anger which seemed to be fading.

"Yes, thank you," I told him earnestly and suddenly remembered the work he was referring to. I continued, "What's the urgent work? It completely slipped my mind."

"Oh, it's nothing," Will waved a hand in the air, a small smile on his face. "I simply wanted to thank you for noticing that I was hurt and then getting me treated."

"Well," I couldn't help but smile back even after all the drama that had just gone down, "it is my job to know when someone is hurt, Mr. Kang."

"You're very good at it." Will complimented and suddenly, Lucas's words rang inside my head.

Stupid doctor.

I ignored it. "Thank you, Mr. Kang." I said sincerely and met his gaze squarely, his eyes were the colour of milk chocolate I realised.

Will bit his lip in hesitation and I couldn't help but stare. His lips parted, his voice low and apologetic. "I hope you don't mind me interrupting the conversation. I only lied about the urgency because it seemed as though you didn't want to converse with him in the waiting room." My eyes flickered to his in surprise. How had he understood my thoughts so precisely? It felt like he had read my mind.

"You are right, thank you for doing that, Mr. Kang." I meant it. I was so grateful. A few more seconds and I would've and started to feel the walls close in and the air get heavier.

"Will," he said and there was something so exquisite about him saying his own name. I stared at him. "You can call me, Will." He told me and I was elated. Everything that happened before this seemed to fade away. The twenty year old in me was jumping out of excitement.

"Will," I said out loud and the name felt foreign and familiar at the same time. Familiar because I had repeated in a hundred times in my head and foreign because it was the first time I ever addressed him by it. Something seemed to have gripped Will when I said his name because he suddenly cast him eyes to the floor.

"I'm Iris, you can call me that." I said.

Will smiled, a nice, pleasant smile. He opened mouth but his phone's ringtone interrupted us. He looked down and suddenly all the comfort on his face disappeared and his forehead creased with worry. He pressed his lips together in a grim line and looked up at me, all serious. "I'll have to take this, excuse me." He looked down at the caller again and sighed. He waved at me before turning around, "See you around," and then he wait for a spilt second and a small smile laced him before he said it, "Iris."

I had never heard my name sound the way it did when he said it. It felt like wandering in a forest for days altogether after loosing your way and then finally, hearing your name called out — knowing that you had been found and you would soon be home.

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DROWNING IN ALCOHOL SEEMED LIKE THE BEST OPTION after I exited the hospital at around midnight because my day had been absolutely unpredictable. I had messed up the timing with Will's patient but I had met Will and then I had the worst time with Lucas but then Will had shown up. Dr. Mohammed was angry with me but I wasn't going to think about that right now.

I stared at Sunday Blues in front of me, the glowing print in front of me. I huffed and glanced at my watch and I was glad I was on time. I didn't want to miss the show. I could hear the loud music but right now, it didn't feel as loud, only a shadow of it entering my ears. The Sunday Blues club was probably my favourite and also happened to be close to the hospital. It was almost outside the hospital and that's why our group often found ourselves here, drinking. Today, I didn't want to drink, I wanted to drown and therefore, I had shown up here alone.

I already felt light headed and I ended up dropping my phone on the ground. As I reached to pick it up, another hand reached out at the same time. I met Will's gaze as his slender fingers wrapped around my phone — which was dreadfully bright red — and handed it over to me. I stared at him in surprise.

"Will,"I said and his name still felt foreign on my lips and yet in my head, it felt like this was all I wanted to chant, "I wasn't expecting to see you here." Will was looking better — he had taken off his black tie and the two buttons of his white shirt were undone, revealing his sharp collar bones. His eyes seemed tired and yet he seemed wide awake.

His mouth twisted into a familiar formal smile. "I wanted some fresh air so I simply started walking away from the hospital — and," a shyness took over his eyes as if he was embarrassed to admit it, "well, I'm lost now." His cheeks were flushed out of embarrassment. He didn't meet my eyes. He was so embarrassed that he started rambling, "And I forgot my phone at my house — well, because of the entire gunshot thing."

Cute, I thought. Will reminded me of a lost puppy who paraded around knowing exactly where he was going. "Oh, I could show you the way, come on —"

"No, you just left. I'll ask around, don't worry." He said as he tried to hide his worry because there was literally no one on the streets.

There was something about him or there was something in the air or maybe this is how it was fated to be, I said, "I could drop you back later but would you like to join me for a drink first?"

"Yes," Will said, his eyes bright for a second, "god knows I need one." And I wondered what it was that made him want to drown in his sorrows too. Suddenly, I was gripped by the want to know him better and know every thought he had and every —

"This seems interesting." Will said as he stared at a board outside the club. I couldn't help but get excited and went to stand beside him, our shoulders brushing in the process. He was looking at the board which read 'Theatre of the Distressed' and it was scribbled in beautiful cursive over the black board with white chalk.

"It's lovely," I told him and he looked at me curiously, "it is basically a play that they do every Sunday here about a situation — sometimes it's as simple as how to convince your spouse to leave their shoes at the door and sometimes it's very serious like how to handle problematic family members."

Then I moved to a box that read 'suggestions' in a bold font, "They take suggestions from here and play out different ways in which the situation can be resolved. I've heard that they invite person who put in the suggestion to help with the script of the play."

Will's eyes sparkled for the first time and it felt like something had been ignited. "Is this play about to start? I would love to watch it."

"Yes," I glanced down at my watch, "in another three minutes."

Will and I decided that we would watch the show put up today and I had already planned on it so having Will with me was only an added bonus. We entered Sunday Blues which was a covered in their theme of blue and gold, with bottles of liquor lined up beautifully and bar stools to seat yourself. A few people turned to notice Will, clearly wondering who he was and if they could talk to him. Will didn't seem to be fazed by the attention at all. He probably was used it. We quickly ordered our drinks and made our way into a room that was attached to the main bar — which was the theatre and took our seats.

Our shoulders brushed once again as we seated ourselves in the red chairs and stared at the stage. There was a board on the stage that read the play's situation for today. We noticed it at the same time and it was hilarious but rather ironic. Shock went over me.

How to behave when you know someone but they don't know you.

Fate was cruel and twisted in its ways. I jolted at the title but Will cracked a smile. He turned to me, his face close and I could smell the whiskey that he was sipping. I could see his straight nose and his lashes fluttering against his cheekbones as his blinked. I felt my breath hitch. "So have you ever put anything in that suggestions box?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but they didn't take it up." I told him.

"That's a pity," Will said, almost pouting, "the solution to that is to put around hundred notes into the box with the same suggestion and annoy them into taking your suggestion."

I laughed and that was the first real laugh out of me in a while. Whenever something with Lucas happened, I found myself barely able to smile for the next few days because I was reminded of everything wrong with the world. Will felt like everything right in the world. "I bet someone has tried that extreme solution." I said.

"Well, let's try it next time." He said with my heart fluttered with joy. He was telling me that he would come with me, here — again and imagining a future with Will in it was heart warming. I shook my head, I wasn't twenty anymore and I didn't even he know if he was with someone. I slapped myself mentally.

A boy ran across the stage and picked up the board and the curtains rose up indicating that the play was about to start. As I sipped my very average cosmo, I found myself ignoring the play and completely captivated by the way Will reacted to it. Will seemed tense when the play began and slowly his shoulders relaxed and sometimes he shifted due to laugher, the side of our arms brushing against each other. I found myself laughing with him, looking at him as he tried to hide his curiosity as to what would happen next and when he felt nervous for the characters. His fingers curled around his mouth when he found something funny and when something witty was said, the side of his lip curled into a half-smile. I didn't even realise the play had ended until Will started getting up from his seat.

As we exited the theatre, I realised two things. One, that due to my lack of focus on the play, I hadn't found a solution as how to behave in front of Will, who I knew but he didn't know me and two, I was drunk. I felt light headed as if a smoke screen had been placed between my thoughts and I. I had forgotten to have anything after breakfast and drinking on an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster.

I stumbled in my step as Will walked behind me. Will's arm went around me and his fingers reached out and gripped me, stabilising me. His eyes wide. "Careful." He warned the crowd pushed against us, pushing me against him. I could feel his shoulders expand as he breathed against me. He seemed to be shielding me against the crowd.

He held the door open as we left the club. The air was chilly and the moon was bright above as we walked towards the hospital. Will fell into step beside me but he kept glancing at me to see if I was holding up okay. His hand was ever ready to reach out and steady me in case I stumbled. The alcohol didn't seem to have any effect on him. I rolled my eyes — of course, he was good at holding his liquor. I should have seen this coming.

"This play taught me nothing. I don't know how to behave around you." I said airily and not realising what a blunder I was making.

"What?" Will said and turned to look at me. Confusion clear in his eyes.

"I know you," I said, "but you don't know me." Sober Iris would've cringed hard at these words but right now, I was too focused stating the obvious.

"I know who you are, Iris —"

"No, you know where I know you from?" I said, my voice sounded sad. "I know you from the admin office in university and the hallways and the art history class that I attended for two days and your review of 1984 —" I stopped to think where else I knew him from.

Will's eyes widened with realisation hitting him like a lightening bolt. He took a deep breath. "We're from the same university?" I nodded vigorously like a five year old saying yes to chocolate. He continued, astonished, "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"I was about to but then the entire thing with my boyfriend happened and I was too embarrassed." I told him, the humiliation clear in my voice. Will seemed to take note of the fact that Lucas was my boyfriend but didn't say anything about that.

His voice was steel and firm when he spoke to me. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Iris. His behaviour is on him, not you."

I felt tears well up in my eyes. How long had I waited for someone to say it to me? I had always repeated that to myself but hearing someone say it to me felt entirely different. Validation ran through me. I clasped my hands behind me, trying to stop myself from being too emotional. I decided I wanted to change the topic. I didn't want to be drunk and vulnerable in front of Will in the first few hours of meeting him.

"Thanks," I muttered and continued a bit loudly, "I'm sorry about your relative. It must be hard. I hope the police finds the culprit soon enough."

Will bit his lip and I could see the hospital parking at a distance. I suddenly wished our path was longer. "He's not my relative."

It was my turn to be shocked. "You — you lied?" I had thought of Will as many things but liar wasn't one of them.

Will hesitated again. Sharing information was clearly not his thing. I saw his fists clenched at his side. He took a deep breath, "I didn't exactly lie. He isn't my relative but that's because I don't know whether he is related to —" he cut himself off and stared at me in surprise. He seemed to be wondering why he was explaining himself to me.

"The hospital is here." Will stated and as my vision cleared, I realised he was correct. The hospital and the bright lights were too bright for my intoxicated self. I rubbed my temples.

"Yes, it is," I said and I didn't pry further about the relative thing, "I'm sorry for dragging you to the bar."

"I'm very grateful," Will said and teasingly added, "or else I wouldn't have found out we're from the same university." I felt light headed and very wary of the fact that Will was hiding something.

"Now you know." I said, my cheeks flushed from embarrassment. "I was glad to have someone to watch the play with. I'll head home now, I have to be back here tomorrow morning."

Will looked worried. "Do you want to me to drop you off?"

"That won't be necessary, Will, because I live inside the premises and I don't think anyone wants to harm me in the next four hundred meters." Will laughed and bid me goodbye — a full fledged laugh and as I walked back home and threw myself onto the bed, it was the last sound ringing in my ears.