Friends. Of course, that's what they'd be. What Colt would only ever want them to be. Just friends, she thought, closing the door behind her.

It was Colt, she reminded herself. She and he would just be friends, she reiterated to herself as she walked towards her bedroom and turned on the light.

But the way he touched her. Colt's hands gently skimming the outline of her tattoo along her shoulder blade- was that of a friend? Did a friend send those sensations down your spine? Throughout your whole body? In your loins? No, she never, ever felt that from Jesse. And he touched her all the time.

Jesse gave incredible massages and Dana wondered if that was a James gene that Colt could have inherited as well. She loved Jesse's massages. To get one from Colt...Dana flung herself on the bed.

What was she thinking? She commanded herself to stop thinking about Colt.

*******************************

Falling asleep had never been a problem for Colt. It was staying asleep. It was sleeping and not having nightmares.

But now, he was having a problem falling asleep. And it was all Dana's fault. Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did she have to be so easy to talk to?

He couldn't believe that they actually had a conversation. They had talked all through dinner.

Colt was sure when he had shown up at her doorstep that Dana would have told him where to get off for suggesting such a thing.

But she went with him willingly. And Colt swore Dana actually seemed to be having a good time.

Colt stared at the framed picture hanging across his wall. It was one of the splotch cards that the psychologists use to test your mental state.

The normal answer for this one was a butterfly. It took him a long time to get to that normal answer.

When he had finally gotten there, the psychologist had given the card to him in congratulations that Colt no longer saw an image of his mom's brutally beaten and stabbed body with blood splattered on the walls and on the floor in a large pool around her.

It had been a new beginning for Colt. And there was Dana with a frigging butterfly on her back, looking at him like he wasn't the lowest scum of the earth.

Dana actually looked at him like she wanted him to kiss her. He had been tempted and it took everything in him to pull away. Her tattoo was a sign of a new beginning with her, he was sure.

Did Dana even want to be a part of his life? Or did she just want to continue their charade as friends?

She seemed to accept his offering of friendship. Colt just hoped he could hold up to it and not fall back to being the scum of the earth Dana had viewed him as.

Colt thought of how he had touched her tonight. He really hadn't meant to put his hands on her. Colt just really liked her tattoo. But he had been too tempted and he needed to touch her soft, beautiful, skin. And it was good. So soft, so sweet. And Dana hadn't seemed to mind his touching her. In fact, she seemed to enjoy it.

Colt remembered Dana's breath hitching, her eyes closing, her chin lifting, in anticipation of the kiss that Colt was about to stupidly give her before her hand on his ink had pulled him back to his senses. Damn, it would have been good too; he knew that much.

Colt sat up in bed. He couldn't think of Dana that way. No matter how much he wanted her, it could never be.

He promised himself a long time ago that he wouldn't give in to his temptations for a woman. Especially, Dana. Colt had his father's blood running through his veins. And he never, ever, wanted to hurt Dana.

Colt began to breathe heavy. Buddy whimpered from his bed in the corner of Colt's room. He could sense what was coming before Colt ever could. 

Dana was perfection. He was glad she let her hair grow long again. In high school, Dana had worn it long. That's when he started being attracted to her, when she was sixteen, and starting to fill out rather nicely.

Dana's personality blossomed as she did, showing everyone what they already knew about her- that she was a smart, beautiful, and sassy girl, who was going places.

Colt had been twenty, at the time, and he knew then that not only was he not good enough for Dana, but he was also too old for her. Another thing that just made him feel wrong.

Colt sucked in a breath and coughed. Buddy whined and nudged his leg with his nose. Colt patted his head and took a deep breath.

When Dana went away to college, Dana nearly destroyed him by chopping off all her hair. But he came to accept it. It was actually pretty cute on her.

When she came back home, it slowly grew longer and longer until it reached nearly her waist, as it was now.

Her hair was sweet cinnamon color and Colt's fingers itched to run his fingers through it. He wanted to see if it felt as silky as it looked.

When Dana had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, Colt wanted to take out the elastic holder, so her hair would tumble down her shoulders and he could somehow get his hands in it.

Dana's eyes were a dark brown with a purplish tint to them around the edges. It reminded him of the point of night when the sky was just about to hit pitch black. There was always this purplish tint to it.

And her body, God, Dana had a figure a man could fall to his knees just by looking at it. And those legs, how he wanted them around him!

Colt sucked in another breath of air.

His mother's face appeared in his mind and the slap from his father reverberated in his ears.

"Slut!" his father yelled and ripped the front of his mother's dress. His mother clawed at the shreds of her dress, trying to cover herself as she sobbed for Colt to get in his bedroom.

Colt's chest tightened and he gasped for breath. This time the next breath was too difficult for him to make. Colt coughed again and tried to breathe, his lungs started hyperventilating.

Buddy barked. Colt reached for the inhaler, which sat on the table next to his bed and desperately breathed in the medicated air as he tried to breathe.

Colt leaned over and put his head on his hands and tried to concentrate on breathing... and nothing else.