Lilly-Rose's POV

I had to make it up to Nathan. Throughout the whole experience, I had been nothing but mean to him. He sent me countless messages, that I didn't answer. He sent me numerous snapchats that I would open and not reply to. However, what hit me hardest was the phone calls from him that I'd ignore. The truth of the matter was, I was scared of feeling. I was scared of feeling more than a liking towards someone. I was afraid of loving and hurting and being hurt by someone else. Everything about the concept of dating was scary to me. Whether that was a nervous sort of scary or a frightening sort of scary remained a mystery forever.

But fear shouldn't have control over how I lived. The only negative part about this realization was that it came too late. Nathan was probably fed up with me after our last conversation. To make it up to him, I planned something big for that night. I planned to break stereotypes - because if there's one thing Nathan and I are not, it's a stereotype. I was going to ask Nathan Speiser to be my boyfriend. As alarming as that sounded, it also sounded exciting. Nobody knew my plan, and I planned to vlog it because it was going to be a time I would want to remember for the rest of my life.