Betsan

After completing my usual morning routine I make my way to the kitchen where I find Jenny is already waiting for me. 'You're here early, couldn't you sleep?'

'No, not really.'

'Any reason?'

'I don't really know, I just can't settle. I was tossing and turning almost all night so I thought I would get up and tackle the day.'

'It will be busy one.'

'I know, maybe that is why I couldn't sleep.'

'Are you sure you can manage things here? I am not sure when I will be back and there is a strange feeling nagging away at me.'

'You are just anxious because it's a big day for you. This project is going to change the lives of so many people.'

'Aw I don't know about that.'

'You are being too modest. You have done so much already and this new project will be huge.'

'I know it will, it is just a shame that it is needed at all.'

'Look, I understand why you feel that way but look at it this way, without this project any number of innocent lives would suffer. You are giving people a chance to be believed in, a chance to show themselves they can take responsibility and lead a good life. This project will provide blue sky when people are going through the biggest storm they could ever face. You don't like the fact that it is needed but that is something you will make huge strides to change. Support and education is what the world needs and you will be offering that. Believe in yourself, and your dreams because the people around you do.'

'Wow, how long did it take you to practice that?' I ask with a laugh.

'Oh, shush you and get going. We will be fine here.'

As I say my goodbyes and leave I think about what Jenny said. Of course, she knows what she is taking about. She lived through some tough times, not the worst I have encountered but pretty brutal all the same. I have watched her grow from a shy bag of bones who was afraid of her own shadow into a beautifully strong and intelligent woman. When she was younger she had talked about leaving, escaping to find some safe haven where no one could ever harm her. By the time she was twelve she realised that she didn't have to leave to find what she had always wanted because she already had it. The more I think of Jenny the more I come to realise that she is completely right. This project scares the hell out of me because I wish there was no need for it. The future will be hard yet there is the hope that this project will slowly work towards erasing the need for it to exist at all. It is a good dream to have.

Today marks the start of construction. As I approach I can see there are news crews from television and local radio at the entrance to the site. Local supporters have come to cheer and the Major is here with his family. Looking around at the smiling faces there are many that have come from broken backgrounds; many who have, at some point, relied on me. Their presence reminds me that I have changed many lives for the better and that this new project will only build on what I have already achieved.

Before the builders start the Major gives a small speech which is met with a roar of cheers then he turns to face me and calls me forward. I feel small all of a sudden. Surely the ground can just swallow me whole? Being in the spotlight is something I am completely uncomfortable with but there is nothing else for it.

'Hello friends,' I say slowly after accepting the microphone. 'Today is a hard day for me. When I was younger, helping those in need was all I wanted to do with my life. Many of you know my story and understand my reasons for doing what I do. Unfortunately, there are also many here who understand my reasons because you suffered in a similar way. I will always wish that you had never had those experiences; that you never had a reason to come to me at all. Yet, knowing how much you have changed from the lost souls you were, knowing just how wonderful each and every one of you are, I am glad we found each other.

'My life's work has been to help provide not just a shelter but a home and love to those who, sadly, had neither. Over three hundred children have come through my doors and if I had enough time I could name every one of them. More recently my home has been shared with two young women who have found themselves homeless, cast out from their families, alone and in desperate need of help because they were expecting. These girls, no more than children themselves, had nowhere else to go and, as most of you know, I never turn someone in need away. Both girls have delivered healthy babies and both are learning what it is to be a mother in a safe environment with people who love and care for them. I dread to think what would have happened to them and their babies had they not found me.

'These girls, like many of the children I have cared for, like myself in fact, were abandoned. This new project will create safe spaces for them to learn how to raise a family, how to keep house, pay bills and provide for their little ones. The building that is being erected here will enable young girls to become independent. It will provide couples who have been deprived the love of their family a chance to raise their own in safety with no judgement cast upon them.

'My dream is that no child will ever be abandoned again and this project will hopefully help in achieving my dream. I thank you all for sharing this day with me. Now, let the construction commence!'

Reality burst into life around me as cheers shattered the quiet turmoil of my own thoughts. I had been so lost in my words that I had forgotten where I was. Now the world is full of noise, of cheers and engines and shouts from builders. My dream is being created in front of my eyes and I should feel proud yet there is still a feeling nagging away at the back of my mind; a feeling that chills my blood and sends a shiver down my spine.