"What is wrong with you?" he asks me, annoyed. "You've been rude to Caryn all night."

"Oh," I scoff, my voice dripping with sarcasm and false sympathy, "forgive me for not immediately admiring and adoring your little girlfriend like everyone else does."

"She's not my girlfriend," he says, sounding hurt. "You don't have to adore her, but can't you just be a little more polite? And where do you get off being mad at me for bringing her along when you were all over Nicholson tonight?"

I scoff indignantly. "I was not 'all over' him! We talked briefly. Mostly about clearing up the confusion over how I was cheering for you and not him!" I take a few breaths.

Jonah groans, running a hand through his blonde hair out of frustration. "Gosh, I just—I can't believe you would get the number of a Camber player. Do you know how annoying that is?"

"I didn't get his number, okay, he wrote it on my hand. And I can't believe you're seriously being jealous right now," I cross my arms.

"Me? Jealous?" Jonah points at himself and guffaws. "Of Theo Nicholson? Hilarious."

"Really?" I ask, uncoiling my arms. "So if I called him up tonight, you wouldn't care? If I told him how much I enjoyed talking to him and how I'd LOVE to hangout next week?"

All the color drains from his face. "You wouldn't."

"If you ever had the guts to be honest and upright about your feelings, then yeah, I wouldn't. But since you're dancing around them like you're starring in the Nutcracker? Yeah, I would."

Jonah stares at me, a crazed look in his eyes. "You can't be serious." When I don't say anything, he laughs like he can't believe what I'm saying. "I'm the coward? I'm the one dancing around my feelings? Who confessed their feelings that night in James's car? Me. I told you how I felt about you, and you just left me hanging for months."

I'm less sure of my stance now, and it's my turn to just stare at him.

He takes a step closer to me, gently taking my hand and intertwining our fingers. "So, please, Lia." He's practically begging. "If you have anything to say to me, tell me. Now. Please."

Say it. Say it.

"Jonah," I whisper, my vision starting to blur. "We can't be going back and forth all the time like this."

"Lia?"

"I think we should keep some distance between us," I say, looking at our interlocked hands and subconsciously twiddling with his fingers.

His expression turns cold. He drops my hand and backs several feet away from me. "Fine. If that's what you want." He turns his back and stalks away to his car where Caryn's patiently waiting for him in the passenger's seat.

I watch him get in his car and put on his seatbelt. He gives me one last look, his eyes full of nothing, and then he drives away with Caryn's arm snaked around his bicep as she lays her head on his shoulder.

We were in the car, just the two of us. We waited while James and Travis went into Pizza Hut to pick up our order. I was laughing at something he had just said, a remark about the libero on Camber High's volleyball team walking like a crooked penguin.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and look at him, but somewhere along the way, he had stopped laughing.

"What is it?" I asked, referring to his serious expression.

"Ophelia..." he said.

"Yeah?" I answered confusedly. The atmosphere in the car suddenly changed, like something was waiting to happen. Like silence that air before a bomb goes off.

"Listen, I..." he ran a hand through his hair, leaning toward me and resting his elbow on the armrest of his seat. "I like you."

I laughed and rested my hand on his arm. "I don't exactly hate you either."

"No, like..." he put his other hand on top of mine, and suddenly I was sweating and I didn't want him to finish his sentence. "I like you."

My eyes went wide and I let out a noise somewhere between a cough and a choke and a laugh. "You..." The spot where my hand is—touching his arm, his hand on top of mine—everything felt like it was burning. I recoiled from him and saw his face drop.

"Jonah..." I began, unsure of how I even felt. I mean... yeah, I liked him. I liked him. I had for a while. But there was something comforting in the fact that I thought he would never like me back. He liked me? "I can't."

"You can't what?" he asked, searching my eyes. "You can't like me? You can't be with me? You can't what?" he repeated.

"I... don't know. Just think about it. We're friends. We're all friends. I'd hate to think that us being a thing would mess with our dynamic." I made that up. I knew that our friends would love us as a couple and wouldn't care at all if it changed the dynamic of our group.

"So you can't like me because of our friends?" he asked.

"No," I said quickly. "I just can't because..." I thought of another excuse. "Because you're James' friend. He would totally freak, wouldn't he?"

He looked at me with such a softness, a tender whisper in his eyes, that I almost folded. Almost.

"He wouldn't," he argued. "He would be happy for us, I know he would."

I remained silent, letting my eyes fall to the floor.

"Of course, none of this matters if you don't feel the same." His voice was small. I forced my eyes to meet his, and the look on his face was a pleading one.

"I..." I looked anywhere except his eyes. Tried to keep my focus someplace—anyplace—else. The floor, the ceiling, the tree outside the window. James and Travis walking back to the car from 100 feet away. "There's just... there's too much to risk here, Jonah."

"What are you talking about, Fi?" He sounded like he had no idea. Wasn't it obvious? "We've got nothing to lose."

Nothing to lose.

Nothing to lose.

I took in a breath and said, "Actually, we have everything to lose! Think about it. What if this causes some weird the tension within the group? What if they're against it and exile us?"

Despite the heavy atmosphere, his serious expression cracked and he held in a laugh.

"Exile us? As in, banish? C'mon, Fi, be real. They'd love us together, I just know it," he leaned closer to me in his seat, putting his arm on the armrest. His face was mere inches from mine. "Just tell me how you feel. That's really all that matters now. Do you want to be with me or not?"

"What if we break up?" I threw into the air.

"What do you mean, 'what if we break up'? We're not even dating. Yet, I hope." He winked. Gosh, how could he be so charismatic and charming even in situations like these? It wasn't helping. At all.

I ignored the way I wanted to melt when he said that.

"What if we broke up, and completely divided our friends? They'd all have to take sides. And Hugo would probably take your side, but Gael would take mine. And that could cause a rift between them! And then they'd break up as well! Causing even more drama! Do you really want that?" None of what I said was true. I knew that Hugo and Gael could get through anything together, we both did.

"You don't know if that would happen," he reasoned. I could tell he was getting tired of arguing with me, he just wanted an answer.

"It would!" I was lying straight through my teeth now. He was right, it wouldn't.

"You don't think we'd last?" he asked.

I thought about what would make him drop this matter and never pick it up ever again.

"No, we wouldn't."

My eyes shoot open. Darkness still fills my room, but the very faint amount of daylight causes the whole room to have a light blue hue. It must be five in the morning right now. I cover my eyes and roll on my back, heaving a heavy sigh.

Great. I'm having flashbacks right now.

"I only want you, nothing or no one else," he had told me. "Just you."

"Jonah," I said, my eyes watering, "please, listen. I don't think it's okay now."

He nodded gravely, and he almost looked embarrassed for myself. "It's fine. I'm sorry it came out like this."

"Jonah," I softly said, but he started trailing away.

So many times. So many damn times. We went back and forth like this. We get close, I chicken, and we pull away. It used to be because I felt insecure that I wouldn't be the girlfriend he thought I'd be—that I wouldn't live up to his standards. Now that Caryn's in the picture, I'm afraid I might not even be a good contender. Like she's the new standard, and her presence makes it obvious that I'll never live up to those expectations.

I'm not drop-dead gorgeous enough that I have guys kissing the floor I walk on. I don't have a thousand people requesting to follow me on social media because I'm hot. I don't have perfect hair or admirable eyes. I'm not as charismatic. I'm very, very awkward.

It makes me wonder how Jonah could have possibly liked me when he has known a girl like Caryn his whole life.

"Ophelia."

I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. I felt his gaze on my face, and it was my turn to look at anything but him. However, it was killing me—I wanted to see his blue eyes again. Those eyes that created a soft feeling inside. I met his gaze and sure enough, the sunlight reflected on his arctic eyes.

"That's my name," I said, "don't wear it out."

"Chill, Danny Zuko," Jonah said, and my lips parted. He got my Grease reference? Oh, this boy is so perfect.

"Nice. You watch Grease, too? Nice. That's nice. Umm, that's really cool," I was running out of words to avoid this pending conversation.

His eyes squinted as his lips curled in a small smile, but then it dropped a bit. "Ophelia."

Just the way my name rolled on his tongue could make me fold.

"Please," he said.

"Jonah," I said, taking in a deep breath. "I like you. I really do, but—"

"Okay, then that's great!" he said. "I like you, you like me, what's the issue?"

I cast my eyes on the floor. "I gave you reasons."

"Ophelia, if you're so worried about what they'll say, please don't be. Our relationship is just you and me. We're not dating them. If we . . . if we ever break up, then that's just us. If we break up, it'll be because of real, mature and healthy reason that's mutual because I will never hurt you," he promised, tilting his head and meeting my eyes. "I have no reason to."

I let out a shaky breath. "It's not that . . . at least, not anymore."

He tilted his head to the other side and gazed at me intently, letting me know that he's listening to what I have to say.

I sat up straighter, my eyes anywhere but on his. "I don't I'd be a great partner."

"Wh—"

"You'd be so bored with me, Jonah," I finally met his eyes. "I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm pretty sure you'd get tired of me because I don't have much experience and—"

"Lia," he reached for my hand with a silly grin, stopping me. "Stop. Stop it. This . . . you're not helping the situation at all."

I shook my head. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry but," he started, "I don't think you know me at all. I'm not that kind of guy, Lia. I don't care if you've never dated before. I don't care if you're inexperienced. I just want you. That's all I'm asking for. And I'm willing to wait as long as I have you in the end."