Relief washes over him like a flood. Walking through the front door, he doesn't give himself a chance to close the door as he walks over to the table where Jaemin is seated, Kyong in his lap.

"You do not do that, Na Jaemin!" If he could hit him, he would. Jaemin looks up, startled. Like a deer caught in headlights. He doesn't say anything either, not at first. Jaemin stares in a way that says he's wrapping his head around Renjun's outburst as well as the situation itself.

"Excuse me?" he eventually stammers, eyes still wide. As innocent as a child, Renjun thinks as he looks at him. He wants to hit him. Hit him and then hug him, but as he presses a hand down onto the table, which is meant to be resting atop Jaemin's, he's reminded once again how impossible that is.

"You don't just disappear like that," he exclaims, voice quivering near the end as he strains it. "You tell me that you'll be back! Tell me that you need to go, but you'll definitely be back. Is that so difficult?" His hand trembles against the table. He's trying to get a hold of the anger. Anger that, moments before, had been nothing but concern and worry.

"I'm sorry, Renjun."

"I'd hit you if I could," he murmurs, flopping into the seat across from Jaemin and pressing his head into his arms. "You just disappeared—" He paused, lifting his head so that his words could be audible enough. "You weren't here when I woke up and I don't know where you go or how this works so for all I know, you may not return because something's got you. I didn't know if you were coming back, when you were coming back, so excuse me for being just a tad worried," he rambles, not looking at Jaemin. He's avoiding eye contact because he knows the moment they lock gazes, his heart will ache all over again and he'll be toast. Because Jaemin had those eyes, as calming as the ocean under the sparkle of the stars and the light of the moon. A calm that warmed Renjun all the way to his toes and unsettled him at the same time.

"I'm sorry," Jaemin says suddenly. Renjun whips his head to look up. Guilt is written all across Jaemin's face, as if he'd never once considered that Renjun would worry. Which is a little upsetting in itself. "I just needed time to think. It wasn't my intention to worry you."

With a reluctant sigh, his lips tug at the corners. "You're forgiven, as long as you promise not to do that again," he says, watching as Jaemin starts to smile.

"I promise," Jaemin says, lifting a hand and resting the other over his chest. Renjun almost laughs, but he holds it.

Not wanting to let their conversation die there, he racks his mind for something to say and then, Jaemin's words ring in his head and he has an idea. "You said you needed time to think?"

A distant look wafts into his eyes, Renjun watching quietly as Jaemin hums. "You can see me, so you're obviously my soulmate," he murmurs, voice as distant as the look in his eye. "Which means I shouldn't be overthinking." He releases a long breath of air right before he sucks in another. All Renjun can do is watch as his shoulders slump and he seems to ready himself to say his next words. "I'm ready to tell you," he says, those calm eyes looking right at Renjun and it feels, once again, as if he can see into his soul.

"How you died?" He wonders if this was what he was thinking about too; if this crossed his mind and he came to the conclusion that there was no need to keep it from Renjun of all people.

"Yeah," he says and Renjun can hear the way he swallows. The struggle, like he's trying to get past a lump in his throat. "I, uh... I was with..." He struggles for words.

"Jaemin," Renjun murmurs, reaching out a hand to where Jaemin's is rested. "No need to rush. You don't have to go into detail or anything," he assures.

Another release of breath before he's opening his eyes again. "Let's just say I risked my life saving the person I thought was my soulmate."

It hits him like a train. Jaemin mentioned before that he was looking for someone. It hits him like a train riding a bus, is how hard the realization is. "Who you were looking for," Renjun puzzles it together absentmindedly.

"Yeah." A heartless chuckle leaves his lips, empty and hollow and not at all like him. He thinks he hears Jaemin choke on that chuckle. "But he couldn't see me."

They sit there for what feels like hours; Jaemin's words still ring in the air around them, but neither of them move. Exhaustion is trying to hug him, but he fights it off, not wanting to leave Jaemin alone. He didn't want to wake to find Jaemin gone. Nor did he want to leave him alone after finding that out. He couldn't imagine what it was like, dying for someone you love only to find out they're not your soulmate. Absolutely tortuous, he could imagine.

"Go get some sleep," Jaemin encourages. Renjun is ready to protest when Jaemin lifts his head and flashes that charming little smile of his. "I won't go this time. I promise."