regretting, yukhei just had to find out that he fell for him at eighteen;

🌼

"i heard that jungwoo is coming."

yukhei raised his head from his plate upon hearing his bestfriend's name being mentioned by his mother. the woman had a smirk on her face once she finally had grabbed her own son's attention. she knew that mentioning that specific boy's name could easily make her son listen to her.

trying to look like he wasn't interested, even though he is, yukhei just hummed as a reply as he continued to eat his dinner.

"it has been a while since he came over for a sleepover." she stated, making yukhei paused from eating.

scoffing, he placed his metallic chopsticks down. he didn't want to look bothered but it was too obvious to cover up with a lie. ❝he has been busy with his boyfriend, that's why.❞

and he can't even do anything about it. jungwoo and his boyfriend are already at their second year. yukhei should just be happy for them and appreciate how the older, despite of being in a relationship, still finds time for him.

not understanding his son that much, she was about to ask a question but a knocking on the door had beat her to it. standing up from the table, yukhei made his way to the front door. he stood there for a couple of seconds, already knowing who it was waiting outside his house. he held on to the door knob and tried to form a smile. he didn't want to look suspicious in front of his bestfriend and make him worry with that frown in his face. he'd be bombarded with questions if the older would see him looking sad and he knew,

he knew that he won't be able to tell his problem to jungwoo.

❝yukhei!❞ and as what he had expected it to be, the older stood there with his adorable smile and raising plastic bags filled with chips and snacks.

giggling, the younger then invited him in. ❝you're early.❞ he then shrugged off the pain he is feeling right now by teasing jungwoo, ❝did you miss me that much?❞

removing his coat and putting it up the rack, jungwoo greeted his bestfriend's mother by the kitchen before answering the younger. ❝i had nothing to do at home.❞ the older then took yukhei's hand and pulled him up to the stairs, making their way to the younger's room. ❝and yes, i missed you.❞

yukhei was supposed to be happy hearing that but instead, a frown made its way to his lips. fortunately for him, jungwoo's back was facing him so the older wouldn't be able to see that look on his face. jungwoo was so excited to be with his bestfriend for the night, spend time with him laughing, watching movies, talk with him, and just simply catching up in everything they have missed.

jungwoo had to admit it, it was hard for him to manage his time with his boyfriend and bestfriend. the two would coincidentally ask him out at the same time and he would be there under pressure as to who he'll pick. lucky for him, doyoung is quite understanding. he knew how much yukhei meant for jungwoo and even he would be the one to encourage jungwoo to be with his boyfriend. sometimes, jungwoo would just feel like everyone is too good for him and he just doesn't deserve them.

❝that's weird,❞ yukhei's voice echoing inside the four walls in the room then snapped jungwoo from his thoughts. ❝we are quiet.❞

laughing, the older threw the plastic bags gently down beside the bed before plopping down the soft mattress. ❝i was just thinking of something.❞

yukhei followed and smacked the older's legs that's taking up all the space on his bed. he earned a glare coming from him but he just chuckled it off, finding that look cute rather than scary. ❝we are too occupied with our thoughts.❞

❝yukhei,❞ humming in response, the said male lowered his head from looking up to the ceiling and had seen his bestfriend laying there while staring at him. yukhei didn't know how it was possible but he could have sworn that he had seen his eyes sparkle. ❝i love you.❞

widening his eyes, yukhei was taken by surprise at how jungwoo had said those three words all so suddenly. ❝what?❞

he knew he didn't have the right to feel this way because the older already has a boyfriend but he was liking the feeling anyways. the way how his heart skipped a beat with those three words, how heat rushed to his cheeks with it, and how he felt butterflies going crazy inside his stomach.

as much as he wanted to make some convincing reason as to why he was feeling that way, he's already at a right age to know what he clearly feels. he can't even deny it but he can't admit it out loud.

he understood it now.

when he was young, he actually believed that this was just normal between friends. but now, it was far from it being friendly. it even came to the point that he's already hurting because of it.

he had to put up a smile whenever he'd see jungwoo together with someone else not else, but he's already hearing his heart break. he had to laugh whenever jungwoo would talk about his boyfriend, but he's already crying deep inside because it's not him. he had to show that he supports them, but he's already regretting how he hadn't made a move back then.

he realized it so late.

and it just had to be when jungwoo had already found someone.

❝for always being here with me, and for being my bestfriend.❞ jungwoo continued after a long silence, letting out a quiet chuckle.

right, a friend. for a second there, yukhei thought that he meant it something more that just the boundaries of being friends. taking a pillow for the bed, the younger threw it to the older and caught him off guard. ❝don't scare me like that next time.❞

jungwoo laughed, ❝what were thinking about?❞

right, what was he thinking? he already has a boyfriend and yukhei knew very well that he won't go saying those three words with a meaning aside from being friends. ❝i don't know.❞

jungwoo now had a frown on his face the moment he saw the younger's sudden change of mood. he was about to ask him what his problem was but the large built had already squished him down the bed and cuddled with him. finding their position comfortable, with yukhei having his arms wrapped around his body and their legs tangled, jungwoo didn't bother saying a word and just laid there with his bestfriend.

❝is doyoung treating you well?❞ yukhei had to ask, wanting to make sure that the older was getting the treatment he deserves.

the older could only giggle. he couldn't count how many times yukhei had already asked him this question whenever he gets the chance to do so. ❝we are fine. he's been treating me good.❞

❝sorry if i ask you this dozens of times—❞

❝you're just worrying about me, i get it.❞ snuggling close to the younger's chest, jungwoo let out calm breaths. ❝but it's okay. we've been together for two years.❞

raising a brow, yukhei was just lucky that jungwoo's face his buried on his chest that he won't be able to see him. ❝so you guys know each other that well already?❞

❝he's just like you,❞ jungwoo raised his hand up and let it rest on to the younger's chest, feeling his heartbeat. ❝an idiot.❞

yukhei then made an offended sound, causing for jungwoo to laugh a little bit too loud. ❝hey, your words are starting to hurt me.❞ but of course, he really didn't mean it.

because we all know that what hurts him the most was seeing jungwoo be with someone else.

❝i'm sorry.❞ the older apologized with a pout.

lifting his hand up to pull jungwoo close to him, yukhei settled it behind the older's back and started to rub circles gently. ❝if you know him that much then, what's his last name?❞

jungwoo pulled away and showed the younger how his brows furrowed at that question. ❝kim.❞

❝what's his favorite food?❞ yukhei held back a smile as he waited for jungwoo to catch on to his reference.

it didn't take the older seconds to understand. his confused expression then changed with a small smile upon answering his question. ❝sandwiches.❞

❝bestfriend's name?❞

tapping his chin, jungwoo looked like he was in deep thought. ❝probably john?❞

leaning close, yukhei gave him his usual smile that made jungwoo space out for a moment. ❝eye color?❞

the older laid there with his his smile disappearing and eyes staring straight to the younger's. he noticed how those eyes held to much emotions mixed up and jungwoo would find it hard to understand what he was truly feeling at that moment. but one thing is for sure, he got lost looking at yukhei's eyes. ❝dreamy.❞

because yukhei was busy convincing himself that jungwoo was just thinking about his boyfriend, he didn't get to see how the older was admiring. ❝foot size?❞

it was just then jungwoo snapped out of it when yukhei threw him another question. getting back to character, he gave the younger a look. ❝foot size doesn't matter.❞

❝have you had a meal with him yet?❞ obviously, yukhei was aware about the countless of dates they had. ❝what if you hate the way he eats?❞ please, that guy probably eats like he lives in a castle. shaking his head, yukhei wanted to take his mind off thinking about them. ❝what if you hate the way he picks his nose?❞

jungwoo wasn't aware what yukhei was thinking and now got back to his senses and playing along with his bestfriend. ❝picks his nose?❞

❝and eats it.❞

huffing, ❝excuse me, sir, he's a prince!❞ jungwoo said his next line.

now thinking about that, indeed, his boyfriend really is a prince.

shrugging, yukhei removed his arms around the older and quickly sad up from his bed. ❝all men do it.❞

the two stayed there, with jungwoo still laying down and yukhei beside him now seated, for a couple of minutes before the older had burst out laughing. yukhei turned to his side and a smile was curved up to his lips as he got soft watching jungwoo laugh like it has been a while since he had a good laugh like that.

❝why?❞ the younger asked with a chuckle.

shaking his head, jungwoo pushed himself up from the bed with a giggle. ❝i love how we still are the same despite of having less time for each other.❞ he said, wiping the tears (from laughing) from the corner of his eyes. ❝i hope we don't change.❞

that then made yukhei freeze from his place. that smile turned to a frown and his eyes spacing out while jungwoo still tried to contain his laugh.

they really haven't changed, they still are the same as they were.

and yukhei hated that. funny, because back then, he used to live up the name of being jungwoo's bestfriend. he'd be right beside him in every step of the way, comfort him when he is sad, put a smile on his face just for no reason, and protect him in everything. he thought those were just gestures and actions that were normal between friends, not knowing that he was already feeling something more.

and he just realized it now.

those times where he'd blush at how jungwoo would get too close to him, where he'd stutter when the older would compliment him, where he'd find his bestfriend breathtakingly beautiful, and where he'd get crazy butterflies inside his stomach, those were the times where he had a crush on him.

time passing by wasn't doing a great job at helping when all he did was fall even deeper for this laughing male right here.

he can now even say, ❝i love you.❞ to him.

jungwoo paused with his eyes widened at the words that came out from his bestfriend's mouth. easing the awkward tension with a giggle, ❝aw, coming from a friend, i find that sweet.❞ he said.

but of course, jungwoo won't know the true meaning behind those words.

because he only sees him as a bestfriend.

to yukhei? jungwoo was more than that. he was more than just a friend in his eyes and he was disappointed at himself for realizing and knowing it all too late. he has been liking— now, loving, jungwoo ever since they were still kids. started it all with a little crush till he finally had his heart wrapped about the older's finger. and the fact that he had just knew all of this right at this moment.

right when jungwoo now belongs to someone else.

❝sure,❞ yukhei laughed it off. ❝a bestfriend.❞

⚊ t b c ⚊