"Passing the smokescreen

I grasp the brightest light;

I found you."

.

.

.

Chapter Fifteen

"Have you decide yet?"

Rin looks up, glancing on her reflection one more time on a compact mirror. Her brows furrow as they feign innocence.

"About what?"

The silver haired man shakes his head with a chuckle as a response to her faux facade. Rin sighs as she realized that acting isn't one of her forte after all. Louis pulls up a chair to sit next to her on the lounge, the sweet smell piping hot waffles wash through her senses. With arms stretched, Rin groans and moans into her arm. Louis simply pat her head once and digging into his own plate of dessert.

"You haven't, right?" He starts, stabbing a juicy strawberry with his fork and waving it in front of her nose, "Come on, you have to eat."

Rin gets up, seeing the worry that flash through his eyes for a brief moment. She takes her own fork and knife before slicing through her stack of blueberry and banana mochi waffles. The burst of sweet and sour evaded her tastebuds in an instant as she hums in happiness. Louis smiled as he saw her expression, it's one of those little moments he needs to savor before they're gone fast.

"I don't know what to do, honestly." Rin confess, pausing to cut on a chewy part of her waffle. "I'm not interested in inheriting whatever he left behind, but..."

"You can't just let her have she wants, right?" Louis concludes with a knowing smile. The woman nods her head with a sigh, not surprised that her brother managed to read through her like an open book.

"You know, I've always wondered how mad I would feel and that perhaps, I hold the slightest bit of hatred towards her." A wave of nostalgia hit her; her young self hoping to break free off of the drama she's been put through without her consent. "But now, really, revenge is the last thing on my mind."

"That's surpising," Louis comments. His eyes dancing around, before meeting hers, "Remember when we first met?"

Rin smiles as the words flow through his mouth. Her mind wandering off to rewind to those years that she had felt lost at sea. She had always been an outcast, so when Rintarou offered modeling to her plate, she was more than hesitant to take it. But now, she was more than thankful that she had taken that offer. If not then she wouldn't have met the only person to share her feelings with.

Louis gave her a toothy smile as he watched her reminiscent the days where they were just two person trying to untangle the mystery of their past. Seeing his smile,
like a pin that drops in a silent room, the gears in her head start to turn and they weave into her memories and melancholies.

"You knew, didn't you?"

The question lacks an answer as Louis brush it off with a simple gesture; he grasps her fists until it opens with a sigh, fingers slipping into one another. Rin closed her eyes and leaned her head into his shoulder, shuffling against the warmth..

She convinces herself that he has his own reasons and 'buts'. She doesn't need to know them to acknowledge the fact that he is, in fact, here. He is real.

He was by her side the whole time.

Time pass swiftly like sand dribbling only to fall on an hourglass. The topic was quickly forgotten as they immerse themselves in a comforting silence. The lingering warmth of skin against skin stayed, leaving the ache of her heart dull.

The plates are stacked and their mugs of hot chocolate empty. Rin is leaning against the armrest of the couch with Louis twirling against a strand of her astray hair. Their previous topic discussion still tucked under the carpet discreetly. Louis is convinced that Rin won't be making any kind of decision soon.

The movie buzzing and playing in the background—something about romance and school, chick-flick? She can't really remember— is instantly forgotten as they both got lost in their own swirling thoughts. The conversation exchanged between the characters are blurring in the background as Rin inched closer to the silver haired man.

Louis hummed, feeling the slight pressure against his side and the warmth of another person.

"Strangely enough, you know," Rin starts off, eyes bright against the dim room, the sound of the movie is lost in the white noise as soon as she speaks. She winced as her mouth rambled on, "I don't wish for revenge or those other cliche stuff."

Louis hums, "I know."

"But, really, at the least I should have hate her even a little bit!" Rin waves her hand on the air, stretching her legs into the fluffy carpet as the remote fall with a thump;

"I don't, however."

Louis turns towards her, catching the brightest shade of periwinkle he had ever seen. Her lips curved into a hesitant smile is perplexing to his mind. She changed like how he had changed.

"I see," Louis smiled, "I really envy you."

Rin hummed before snuggling against his shoulder and their attention turned back to the movie playing.

'Because I still hate her, I hate her and unlike yours, this one won't heal as quickly'—are the words left unsaid, dying as it reached his lips as it evaporates into a puff of grey putrid smoke.

***

"I remember this."

"You remember this." I echoed.

He smiled, eyes roaming and taking in the details of everything, from the dust coating the railing of the staircases, the lone chandelier hanging grand as it reflects the sun, to the old clock chiming as its hand points at twelve. I mused at the sight, perhaps because the house in my memories didn't have him in it, and seeing how he looked through everything like it had been there his entire life is somewhat strange, but not disturbing to say the least. The eerie sound of the clock stopped as I step on the stair, leading upstairs.

Memories flash one by one, dyed in sepia, they swarmed my head as I climb the stairs one by one. Portraits hang by the wall near it, I glance through them one by one as I drag my hand through the railing, gathering dust on the tips of my nails. This is a scene I remember repeating in my childhood day by day, how I would climb the stairs slowly, her voice echoing in the background, calling my name like a chant.

"Rin!"

I turn to stop in my tracks, "What is it?"

Louis frowned, cocking his hips and folding his arms together, a pose that I know when something is bothering him, pose that says what-are-you-doing-young-lady kind of thing. It brought a smile to my face, maybe because I know that he knows what I was up to.

"Where are you going?"

I glanced the top of the stair, where a table with an empty vase stood, "Nowhere."

Louis raised an eyebrow, "I'll come with you."

"I want to be alone," I shook my head. He sighed as he understood, turning away towards the door that leads to the garden--- I should go there next. "Thanks, Louis."

I step into the endless hallway, door by doors filled my sight just like how I remembered them to be, white doors with gold carvings. One of them is different, at the end of the hall, a white double door with gold handle and the family crest, the door to his office. I ignored the rooms I passed on the way there, some of them are empty rooms without a meaning be used, like the music room, the sun room, and the room where they keeps racks and racks of clothes and fabrics. I stop on the door similar to the others, except it has a flower decoration on its handle, a difference anyone could look pass. I grab a hold of the handle and push it open.

A princess canopy bed, carpeted wood floor with a trunk sitting on the foot of the bed, filled to the brim with knick-knacks and toys. The walls are adorned with silver vines that swirled into the ceiling, joining together inside of the glass lamp hanging as a source of light. I stepped inside with a hand on the wall, feeling the pattern of the wall before hitting the surface of smooth cold wood, the door to my closet plus bathroom.

The air is filled with the scent of dust and the years it spent without an owner, the windows are a shade of grey and murkier than she remembered. The bed is as soft as ever, I thought, as I sit on top of it. The pattern in the ceiling as vibrant as ever, the silver metal still gleams in the sunlight as it did before.

Years and years ago that felt like yesterday and the yesterday that seemed so faraway. Time works in a funny way that transcends human mind.

Memories that lived in my head that keep repeating are still as clear as ever. Some parts a bit blurrier than the others, and some parts are washed in harsh colors.

"I remember everything," I mumbled to nobody in particular. "Just like you, Louis."

My thoughts circle back to yesterday evening, the melancholy moment that we shared and the things we both left unsaid:

I'm really just like you, Louis, I wanted to say, I do hold hatred against the woman who kept us apart all those years, the one who gave me nightmares that haunt me from night to night. I can't hold hatred when I know that she's not the only one at fault, it was something inevitable, perhaps, I wouldn't know. 

There's a dull ache in my chest, the kind that feels like an escape rather than a solution, a feeling that made me want to sink instead of swim. The kind of sentiment that brought tears on your eyes, the ache remains however, even if tears did fall. It's incurable, an obnoxious feeling, honestly. I still can't figure out whether it's a good or not kind of feeling. It rained in endless shower, not all at once, but pricking the back of your mind once in a while.

It tastes like freshly inhaled smoke; a bitter and it jabbed on your senses.

-

On the way home, we stopped by to get sundaes and fries. I winced as the sundae hit my tongue. Eyes focused on the road ahead, Louis munched on his fries silently.

"So," He talked with a mouth full of fries, "You've decided, huh?"

Catching the knowing glint in his eyes, I pass him a smile, he closed his eyes in relief.

"I have."

-

author's note:

so, i'm planning this fic to have at least 20 chapters so we're kind of nearly at the end, aren't we?

i hope you'll continue to read this fic and please look forward to the finish!

sincerely, seira