This is Tavetian Telecom's support center. My name's Susan. How can I help you?

One moment...

Hello?

I'll be right with you.

Yes?

Sorry, I've put you on speaker while I was in your waiting loop, so I could do my cooking. You've kept me hanging there for about fifteen minutes, at least. And your music's awful.

I'm sorry to hear that. We're quite busy at this time of the day. So, how can I help you, Sir?

You can help me by switching my internet access back on, like right now.

Ah, internet access. Let me check this. What's your phone number?

023 324 23 52

... I see. What's your name and date of birth, please?

Don't you see that on that screen of yours?

Sorry, but there's no reason to get angry. I do have that information right here, but I need you to say it so I can confirm your identity.

Duh, as if that can't be faked... anyway, I'm Paul Crox, born 24 February 1982.

Yeah, I see, Mr. Crox. Your internet access has been blocked while voice calls are still enabled for seven days. This is because the payment for your last invoice is overdue.

That's your fault, not mine.

And how should that be my fault, pray?

Er, sorry, not your fault personally, of course. But it's Tavetian Telecom's fault.

Can you please explain?

Do you have the unpaid invoice on your screen, the one dated 12 December?

One moment... yeah, I've got it right here now.

So look at the top right, in the header, third line. What does it say?

Hm, it says "Amount will be charged to your credit card".

So?

Let me check... Ah, I see. We don't support automatic credit card charging anymore. Sorry. You'll have to pay this in some other way. Just log into your online account and change the method of payment.

So, then, why does the invoice say that the amount will be charged to my credit card? And, more importantly, how can I log into my account to change my payment settings if you have suspended my internet access?

Okay, I see what you mean...

Wow, we seem to be getting somewhere.

Don't you have some alternative way of internet access? At work, for example? Or at a friend's?

Er... Susan, listen, I'm presently spending a month in the mountains, in a cabin. Tavetian Telecom's whimsical 3G network is my only connection to the internet... or it would be if it worked. Can't you just issue a manual charge to my credit card now?

I'm sorry, I can't. You have our special reduced-fee easy-login subscription, which means that you can do all your configurations conveniently online, yourself, at your leisure... but it also means that you can't change the configuration through our support lines, which would—in this case—be me. Er...

Yes?

Hmm, you've got a problem, I see... do you really need internet access while you're up there in your cabin? I mean, you could just spend some relaxing days offline, enjoy the scenery, go hiking, do whatever they do up there... you know?

...

And when you're back, you can change your settings?

Was that a question?

Naw, not really. My sense of weird humor just got the better of me. I'm so sorry. Bizarre stuff sometimes happens in this job. More often than you'd believe.

Ha-ha. I see how this may be funny from your point of view. But I've got a deadline to meet, tomorrow. I need internet access then.

A deadline? Ehm, well... maybe you should not spend your time in the mountains when you've got important business to attend?

Listen, Susan, this does get bizarre indeed. And you do have a great sense of humor, I admit it. But still, it's none of your business where I spend my time, and it's not business anyway.

Er... sorry, now you've just lost me, with all these businesses. What are you trying to say?

What I wanted to tell you is that my deadline is not business-related. It's something I do in my free time. I've got to submit a story.

Ooh, you're a writer?

Naw, not really. It's just... a short story I want to submit to a competition, you know.

Cool, what competition?

You really wanna know?

Absolutely. Please, you've made me curious now.

...

Pretty please?

Well, it's... er... there's this online thing called Wattpad, where amateur writers publish stories, and others read them. And they've got a competition running there. Its deadline is tomorrow.

Wattpad?

Yeah, it's an internet site called Wattpad and—

Yes, I know. I do know Wattpad. I'm hanging out there, too... sometimes.

Are you kidding me?

Naw, not this time. Who's running that competition?

It's run by Wattpad's Romance profile. It's called the "Love Conversation Contest". Are you... a writer or only a reader, on Wattpad I mean?

A writer. Occasionally. And, you know what? I've seen that competition. But I thought it's too hard to pull it off... I mean, how can you write a good love story in direct speech only, without showing these little signs of body language, visual expressions, and emotional context. And what about the feelings budding in your main character, which slowly or quickly grow, against all odds, into something profoundly powerful and completely irresistible. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, absolutely. You're so right. You see, using dialog only is like those old shows they did on radio, where people played scenes, and you only heard their voices. But in these shows, the actors were at least able to modulate their tone. But when you're writing, and you can't even use speech tags—

Right, I did wonder, when I read the competition's prompt, if you're allowed to do speech tags.

I think they've clarified the rules that you can. But I thought that if I did a story, I wouldn't want to use them. That would be too easy.  Also, if your speech tags contain only "he said", "she shouted", "they sang", and "she peeped", they might become a nuisance.

Another thing you can't really do in dialogue is depicting the character's true internal struggle when they are wondering if the other one shares their feelings. The plucking of petals from the proverbial flower—

—she loves me, she loves me not. Susan... you're so right. 

So... well... how are you going to pull this off?

Ha, you do wanna know, do you? I hear it in your voice. Well, I first thought I'd do it with two people meeting in the dark. In fact, I've almost finished that one. But now I've got a better idea.

And that would be...

... that would be a surprise. Have a look at the submissions. I'm curious if you like it.

And how can I know which one's yours? What's your Wattpad name?

I'm not going to tell you. But you'll recognize my story when you read it.

How?

You'll see.

No! You... can't... do... that. I absolutely don't want to miss it.

You can't miss it, I promise.

Really?

Really. But you've got to promise me something, too.

And what would that be?

When you read it, and if you agree that it's really a story showing how two people fall in love, do send me a pm. Will you?

I promise. Solemnly.

...

And now?

And now, dearest Susan, we still have one problem. Internet access.

Ah, yes, of course. Silly me. You know what? I'll just change your settings now, even though it's against the rules. I'll debit that invoice manually to the credit card in your account, and I'll make sure your internet is reactivated right away. You need it.

Thanks, Susan.

Thank you... Paul. This was... something. I'll check out all the submissions that are made tomorrow.

Submissions have to be entered through an online form, you know. But I'll also add my link as a comment to the competition book.

I'll read them all. I'm so excited. Honestly.

So am I. And now I've got some writing to do.

Of course.

Promise that you'll contact me if the story rings true?

Again, yes, I do promise.

See you then, maybe.

Yeah, see you.

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