Since we have parted, you have found a way to be yourself (I think) and I have found a way to be myself. I am a different person, of sorts, and I like who I am. Do you like who you are? I know you've always struggled with being old or new or whatever - but I think when you stop worrying about that, you'll be yourself so much easier. That's what I did, and I've become more chill and less uptight about everything. I am content when I stopped searching for happiness.