Selfish
Joesph's POV
Despite the amount of times Michael confidently tried to reasure me that I had nothing to worry about, I didn't sleep last night worrying that Leanne would snap again, because the way she was acting was so cold and uninterested on what happened to Mary and when I heard her downstairs my first thought was that Leanne had turned on Michael and done to him what she did to Mary and I could see by the look on their faces and the way they all rushed downstairs, that the others thougt the same, but when we got down there and saw the two of them together it was like she'd only just realised what she'd done and she looked terrified.
We didn't go back to the house last night because not only were we worried about what Leanne may do, but we were and still are trying to get our heads around what's happened. It's the next morning and Tito, Randy and Jermaine have come over and we're all in the living room still trying to figure out what to do next.
"I still don't get why she didn't just tell the truth in court" Jermaine says "why go through all this when Mary would have been locked up"
"Obviously she's flipped" Randy cuts in. "But sitting here asking 'why?'' Isn't gonna do anything. The fact is, Mary's over there and we need to do something about it"
"And what exactly are we suposed to do? It's not like we can just walk out of the house with her"
"I don't know, but we can't just leave a dead body lay in the middle of a kitchen floor either" I cut in. "Why didn't Michael do something about it last night then?"
"Because he was more concerend about Leanne and now she's calmed down. We're gonna go back to the house and deal with Mary"
"Where's Michael now? He can't just expect us to deal with this"
"He's upstairs with Leanne right now, but he's gonna go back to the house with you guys" LaToya cuts in. "Is that really a good idea, leaving the two of them alone up their?" Jermaine asks. "She's not gonna do anything to Micheal. If she was then she would have done something last night" Janet cuts in "and the way she's acting around him, it's pretty obvious she won't"
"How is her following him around everytime he moves proof she's not gonna do anything? He can't even go to the bathroom without her following behind him?" LaToya frowns. "Well obviously she feels safe around him and it doesn't seem to be bothering Michael that she keeps follow in him around the house" Janet shrugs.
"Maybe I should stay behind. Just incase" Jermaine says nervously. "Its fine the girls are gonna stay here while we're gone and Michael's coming with us" I cut in. "But what of she tries to do anything to them? She's killed one person. Who's to stop her doing it again?"
"She's not gonna over power 3 people is she?" Randy says and Jermaine doesn't say anything for a moment.
"I don't wanna go ok?" He sighs. "And you think we do?" I frown. "I can't do it, I'm sorry I can't go there what if she's not really dead like in the movies or something?"
"Trust me she's definitely dead"
"I'm sorry, but I can't go. I'll stay here and help the girls keep and eye on Leanne, but I can't be around a rotting dead body" he shivers. "Oh my god! Quit being a wuss" Tito rolls his eyes. "Call me whatever you want, but I'm not going" he shakes his head nervously.
"Fine whatever. You stay here" I sigh then turn to the others. "We need to figure out what to do before we get there"
****
Michael's POV
Leanne and I are sitting on the bed eating cereal and she still hasn't said much since she broke down last night.
"Thanks for staying up here with me" she mumbles, putting her empty bowl on the floor. "It's fine" I smile slightly, putting my bowl down too and sit back on the bed with her. "But you know, you don't have to stay up here right? Nobody's gonna hurt you" I say softly. "They don't want me here" she mutters. "Their just still in shock is all. If they didn't want you here then they wouldn't have let you stay last night or come downstairs to make sure you were ok"
"That's not why they came downstairs. They came downstairs because they thought I'd done something you" she mutters and starts getting upset again. "I only went downstairs because I didn't wanna wake anybody. I'd never do anything to hurt you or any of your family" she croaks and starts getting upset. "I know you wouldn't" I say softly, wiping her tears away. "And their your family too" I say then turn and look at the time.
"Your gonna leave soon aren't you?" She mumbles and I nod. "But I'll be straight back I promise and Janet and the girls will be here so you won't be alone"
"Why can't I come with you? I should be the one to do this, not you an your brothers"
"I'd rather you stayed here. It's gonna be ok, I promise. I'll be back soon and when I do we can put all this and the past behind us ok?" I say softly and she nods without arguing with me about it.
"Why are you helping me?" She asks confused. "Because I love you an I'd do anything to keep you safe" I tell her honestly. "Nobody deserved to go through what you did. I'm saying what you did was ok, but I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you because of this" I tell her honestly "I love you so much and I'd do anything for you" I say wrapping my arms around her. "I love you too" she smiles slightly and wraps her arms tighter around me and rest her head on my chest. "And I'd do anything for you"
"You've already done more than enough for me" I mutter "but, I haven't done anything" she says confused and I lift her head up to face me. "You may not think that, but trust me. You've done so much for me. More than you'll ever realise" I smile slightly and peck her lips and she kisses me back the same way.
Our kiss becomes softer and slightly deeper and I lead us down on the bed, gently moving my hand up her thigh then break away slightly. "What's wrong?" She looks at me confused. "I can't do this to you again" I sigh sitting up "You don't wanna be with me anymore?" She says, sitting up beside me and looks like she's about to cry. "Of course. I wanna be with. I love you more than anything, but your upset right now and I don't wanna take advantage of you again... like I did when you grandma passed" I mutter that last part guilty, looking at the ground. "I knew what I was doing was selfish, but I just wanted you so badly, just like I do right now, but I couldn't help myself. I know it was wrong and I'm so..."
"Michael" she says softly, lifting my head up to face her. "You don't have to feel guilty for wanting to feel loved"
"But you were upset and.." she kisses me softly cutting me off then breaks away slightly. "Not everything is about me" she says and softly kisses my neck on that sweet spot, she knows gets me worked up every time and I move her head away and kiss her soft, yet deeply. "Do you really want this too?" I ask shakily and she nods and leads us both back down onto the bed.
We slowly remove each others clothes and I position myself between her legs and she moans slightly as I push myself deep inside of her. "Sshhh.. there's no lock on the door" I whisper onto her lips. "So we have be really quiet" I whisper and she nods and kisses me deeply as I slowly begin thrusting deep inside of her.
We press our lips firmly against each other, pulling each other as closer as possible as we both fight the urge to moan loudly and our orgasms begin to build up fast and I pick up my pace as I get closer and closer to the edge and I do my best to hold it for as long as possible until finally I can't hold it anymore.
"Michael I..." I hear as the door suddenly swings open and I groan loudly as I cum deep inside of her, not being able to hold it any longer.
"Oh.. my.. god" I hear and awkardly turn and see LaToya standing at the door with a look of both shock and disgust. And there's and awkward silence as none of us know what to say or do in this situation.
"This.. um... this isn't what.. um.."
"It's exactly what it looks like" I breathlessly cut Leanne off. It's pretty obvious what we were doing so there's no point us trying to think of a 'it's not what it looks like' story.
"Um.. everybody's waiting for you downstairs" LaToya says, awkardly. "Could you um...like... leave for a minute" I say, confused why she's still standing there and she doesn't say anything and quickly walks away.
After quickly getting dressed. I sit on the bed with Leanne, talking with her for a minute then head downstairs.
"Are we ready to go?" I say coming down the stairs and they all nod and follow me towards the door. It was clear by the look on their faces LaToya told them what just happened, but nobody says anything because now really isn't the time to be joking around and I don't think I should have to explain myself anyway.
After an hour drive we get to the house Leanne used to live at with her parents. "Why are we parking around the back?" Randy asks confused. "So the neighbours don't see us, obviously" Joesph says and we all quickly make are way inside through the back door.
After we stand outside the door for a moment bracing ourselves, I open the kitchen door and see Mary still lay on the ground where we left her.
"I can't do this" Randy says nervously. "She's looking right at me!"
"She'd dead. She isn't looking at anybody" Joesph frowns, stopping him from leaving the room. "So what do we do now?" He asks, not taking his eyes from her. "Leanne said they have a basement. Maybe we should put her in there for now" I suggest. "And then what?" Tito cuts in. "I don't know do I!?" I snap "will you all keep it down before the neighbours hear?" Joseph snaps in a hushed tone. "Maybe we should come back at night just incase someone sees" Randy suggests "we can't leave her here much longer. We have to do this now" Joesph says then turns to me. "Where's the basement?" He asks and I shrug. "Then go find it" he frowns and me and Tito leave the room to go and find where the basement is.
"Why didn't you guys do this last night?" Tito asks. "Because I was more busy trying to deal with Leanne and getting her out of here"
"So she kills someone and leaves you to clean up the mess? She should be here helping. No offense but don't you think that's kinda selfish of her?"
"She isn't leaving me to clean up anything. I told her not to come. She's stressed out enough and her being here is just gonna set her off again and all this isn't good for her or the baby" I say opening the doors trying to find the basement.
"Found it" I say after opening another door then turn to go back into the kitchen. "And what about you?" He asks, placing his hand on my arm and I turn to face him. "What about me?" I shrug. "All this stress isn't good for you either"
"Well I'm not pregant am I?"
"About that" he mumbles. "Do you really think that's such a good idea? Especially with. You know... what's happened" he mumbles that last part. "What does that have to do with my kid?"
"Which one?" He asks and I look at him confused. "You say you wanna be with Leanne and you wanna have a baby and the next your treating a kid and your her parent and..."
"What are you talking about? I am with Leanne and we are having a baby. And I don't treat her like a kid!" I frown "sometimes you do. One minute your helping her with school work and telling her what she can and can't do and the next your saying you wanna marry her and then you say your gonna wait until she's 18 and the next your getting her pregant and..."
"That was and accident. I didn't do that on purpose" I cut him off. "I know that, but I'm just trying to say. You still have an option and to be honest, I really don't think her having a baby is such a good idea. You said yourself it was a mistake and you say your worried about Leanne, but then your making her have a baby despite the fact she's clearly not ready and neither our you. You say you love her, but to be honest making her keep that baby is selfish because your not thinking about Leanne or the baby and..."
"Accident is what I said" I cut him off, "and exactly what options are you trying to say? Because she's not having an abortion if that's what your getting at. And I'm not being selfish. Our baby may not have been planned, but it's not just some mistake and i'm not forcing her to have it. She wants it just as much as me and I'm not gonna be one of those dads that's sits back and let's the woman do everything. I'm gonna be helping her out" I frown. "Michael, clearly the girl has some serious mental problems and if she's capable of what she did to Mary then she's capable of anything. What if she flips on the baby? You hear it all the time about mothers that have snapped and murdered their kids. And if a woman with no mental health issues can do it then so could Leanne and.."
"Are you fucking serious!?" I snap in a hushed tone. "She's not gonna do anything to our baby! Yes she killed Mary, but do you really blame her!? You have no idea what that woman put her through. She murdered her parents so she could abuse her and force her to work in a brothel! You have no idea what that woman did to her in that place and I'm pretty sure alot of people would snap if that happened to them. She was a 15 year old little girl. Your honestly taking Mary's side on this?" I frown. "Of course I'm not. What that woman did was sick, but that doesn't change the fact that Leanne still planned and killed someone! And even without all that stuff. She's still only 17 and your almost 27 that's a pretty big age difference and the way you met wasn't exactly a sweet story you can tell your kids and..."
"So what!?" I snap cutting him off "yes I met her at a brothel which yes her aunt was forcing her to work at an yes she 17 and possibly a tiny little bit unhinged and the moment, but so what!? I love her and she loves me and we're gonna have a baby. Deal with it!" I snap and Randy and Joesph come over to us. "What the hell is taking you both so long?" Joesph frowns. "Tito thinks I should make Leanne have an abortion" I frown "I didn't say you should make her I just suggested that it might be better for you both if..."
"Is now really the time for this?" Joesph cuts him off. "Oh c'mon you can't honestly believe that the two of them can raise a baby? She's crazy and he's got the mental age of a child and..."
"Which means they have four months to get their shit together" he cuts him off. "Now shut up arguing. we have bigger problems to deal with right now... like a dead body in the kitchen" he's says that last part with an attitude and I don't say anything and go back into the kitchen.
"Why do I have to get the top part?" Randy says going over to Mary. "Does it really matter which side? Just hurry up and help me lift her" I frown and he kneels down nervously. "I can't she's looking at me again" he shakes his head. "Fine. You get the legs, but can we hurry up?" I sigh switching side and he walks over and stands staring at her.
"Randy, hurry up. Just do it" Tito says holding the door open for us. "Fuck.. she's fat" Randy groans and we struggle to lift her.
We get to the basement door and put her down for a moment to catch our breath. "Now how do we get her down there?" Randy pants, pointing at the basement stairs still trying to catch his breath. "Well we can't just leave her here" Tito says. "Jeez. Why didn't we think of that?" I say sarcastically. "I'm just saying we can't just leave her there. We need to find a way to get her down all those stairs.."
"Well now you have! Thank you! That you soo much for your fucking useless advice!"
"Will you two quit it already?" Joesph snaps in a hushed tone. "Now we need to think of away to get her..."
"Just push her down"
"What?" Tito frowns at me confused. "We can't just..."
"I SAID PUSH THE BITCH DOWN THE STAIRS!!" I snap, kicking Mary causing her to go all the way down and we hear a loud cracking sound as she goes down.
"Oh my god! Mike what the fuck!?" Randy scrunches his face looking down at Mary laying at the bottom. "I can't believe you just did that! I get your pissed at me for what I said, but You can't just kick a dead person down the stairs!" Tito widens his eyes in shock.
"Well he did. Now let's just lock everything up and get the hell out of here" Joesph says. "Are you seriously not gonna say anything?" Tito looks at him confused. "What the fuck do you want me to say? We came here to put her in the basement and now she's down there. Now we need to check everywheres locked and we can go" he says and I head upstairs to check the Windows and stuff.
After checking the bathroom and the guestroom. I go into Leanne's old room to check the Windows and am about to leave when I notice what looks like a scrap book beside her bed.
I sit on the edge of the bed and smile looking through the pages. Each one has a little photo's stuck to it with stories about what her and her parent's did that day.
"Michael?" Tito says softly coming into the room and I close the book and put it back and continue looking around.
"Can we please talk?"
"For what? You've made it pretty clear you hate me being with Leanne and that we'd be shitty parents" I mutter, still walking around the room and pick up a locket that's on the floor by her dresser. "I don't hate you being with Leanne and I don't think you'd be shitty parent's. It all just came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that" he says softly and sits on the edge of the bed. "Then what did you mean? Because calling us both selfish and saying we should abort our baby! You can only mean it one way" I croak trying not to get upset. "I meant maybe now isn't the best time for both of you. I'm not saying you wouldnt take care of it, but babies are alot of responsibility and very stressful"
"We know that"
"So why not think about it and wait awhile and in few years when your both ready and..."
"Or... You could just support me instead of getting at me" I cut him off. "You got married and you had three kids and not once did I try and talk you out of it or put you down about it. I was happy for you and respected your choices. Maybe you should do the same for me"
"I'm not trying to upset you. I just don't think the two of you are mature enough to cope with all that yet. You still have issues with your depression and Leanne isn't stable or mature enough either. Joesph told me what she was like after what she did to Mary. She didn't even care and was sitting watching tv, drinking juice from a baby bottle and.. "
"So what if she drinks from a bottle when she gets scared or she's upset, she's not bothering anybody. And she does care what happened. If she didn't then she wouldn't have broke down and spent the rest of the night crying in her sleep if she didn't care!" I snap and leave the room before he can say anything else.
****
Jermaine's POV
It's been a few hours and none of us have heard from the others yet. "She doesn't look crazy" I whisper to Janet and LaToya in the kitchen, whilst keeping a check what Leanne is doing. "She's just sitting there playing with a rubix cube" I say, looking over at her.
"Michael gave it to her while he was gone to keep her mind of what's going on" Janet says. "By giving her a toy?" I frown confused. "Leanne gives Michael little puzzles and stuff to do when he gets anxious. I think it helps them calm down or distract them or something" Janet cuts in. "You seem pretty relaxed about all this. Aren't you worried?" I turn to her. "About what? I didn't do anything to hurt her" she shrugs. "But Michael did" LaToya says "and how can we be so sure Mary is the only one?"
"What do you mean?" I ask. "Think about it. Mary hurt her and abused her and look what she did to her. We don't know what's going through her head. For all we know she's killed a whole bunch of people. Like in those movies when the person snaps and murders everyone that did them wrong. Michael could be next"
"If that was the case. Which it's not. then she would have done it a long time ago. They do live together remember?" Janet rolls her eyes. "Maybe she's using him to cover up all the other bodies and will get him last" LaToya shrugs and. "You watch way to many movie's, plus Leanne forgave Michael along time ago because she knows it wasn't his fault. He was the one that got her out of that place remeber?"
"But what about the other men?"
"What other men?" I ask "they did her wrong too. She could have been sneaking off killing them one by one for all we know" LaToya says an Janet sighs heavily. "You two are being way to paranoid" she says then leaves the room.
"I'll just be upstairs if you need me" Janet smiles at Leanne and she smiles back then goes back to what she was doing. "Do you really think she'd go on a killing spree on those guys that went there?" I turn back to LaToya. "Who knows, but if she really has forgave Michael then I guess that's one less worry" she says, taking some some out of the fridge to prepare dinner and I nod not saying anything and go into the living room.
I stand nervously for a moment then go and sit down beside Leanne and she doesn't say or even look at me. "Um... hi"
"Hi" she mutters still playing with the rubix cube and I sit nervously thinking how to approach this topic. "Umm... me and you? We're ok right?"
"Sure" she shrugs. "Because I didn't know all that stuff I swear, just Michael didn't"
"I know"
"So we're cool with each other?"
"Sure"
"Because I never would have gone there... asking for you and you know?... If I'd known what was really going on"
"I know"
"So we understand each other?"
"Yup"
"Because I didn't know?"
"That's right"
"And your not mad at me?"
"Nope" she shakes her head still not looking up. And I sigh slighty in relief and sit beside her silently.
I am curious to know, but it's probably best I don't ask her.
"Michael's is bigger" Leanne says answering the question I was curious about, but didn't want to ask. "When you say bigger?"
"Waaay bigger and he's better in bed"
"Well um.. You know those rooms were pretty cold"
"That's true"
"Well that effect like size and performance and stuff for men"
"It never affected Michael" she shrugs, still playing with the rubix cube and don't say anything. Unsure if she was telling the truth about Michael being bigger and better than me or if she was just being a bitch. It's most likely the second one because her and Michael are together now, so clearly she's going to be biast on that question.
"I did!" She smiles showing me the rubix cube and I look at He confused how she quickly changed the topic.
"We're back" I hear Micheal say walking through the front door with the others and Leanne gets up and goes straight over to Michael and he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close to him.
"Have um... You know?" I mumble. "Mhm" he nods. "Where did you..."
"It's doesn't matter. It's over now" he cuts me off and turns his attention back to Leanne. "Why don't we go upstairs for awhile" he smiles and Leanne nods and smiles back at him and follows behind him and once we hear the bedroom door close. The others tell me what happened.
****
Michael's POV
We get upstairs and I close the door so the others can tell Jermaine what happened without Leanne hearing all the details. "What did you do?" She asks sitting on the bed and I go over and sit beside her. "It's all over now. That's all that matters" I say softly.
"Now all we have to concentrate on is us an our family" I smile place my hand on her stomach and she smiles back slightly.
"Did you go shopping?" She asks confused noticing the bag in my hand. "I um... I went into your old bedroom while I was there and I took some things" I confess handing it to her. Unsure if this is a good idea or not and she opens it and smiles, taking out the locket. "This was in my room?"
"I saw it on the floor by your dresser"
"My mom and dad gave me this on my birthday. I thought I'd lost it at school or something. I spent like a week looking for it" she smiles and opens it up and shows me the picture inside of her as a baby with her parents. "Thank you" she smiles wrapping her arms around me then looks inside again and takes out the scrap book that I'd saw on her table and shows be the pictures and even though it's says what they did that day. She tells me in a little more detail about each picture and I smile listening to her. I wasn't sure if bringing these things would be a good idea or if it would upset her, but seeing her face light up and seeing her beautiful smile I've missed comes back. Normally when Leanne mentions them it's only brief things and then she quickly changes the subject, but after seeing that stuff, she really opened up to me about them and we spend the rest of the evening lay cuddling on the bed and I happily listen to her as she tells me all about her parents.
I don't know where it came from earlier with Tito, but it really hurt when he told me that we should get rid of our baby because he thinks we'd be shitty parent's and were selfish, but having a family with the woman I love is something I've always dreamed about ever since I was a little kid. Sure we have our problems, but I know we can do this. Leanne means the world to me and so does our baby.
I know we're gonna have to do something about Mary eventually and we can't leave her there forever, but right now all I want to do is concentrate on my family.
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