i'm not really okay
haven't cleaned my apartment
since the day you left
two months ago

something's wrong
my brain isn't all there
can't sleep, can't stay awake
i really just want to go

it's dark and scary
that night when i tried to jump
i'm terrified of the memory
but i'm too cowardly to move on

something's inside of me
i can't take care of it
something's inside of me
eating my flesh from inside out

i can't run away
i can't run away

you could fix me
and break me just as easily
my heart is all yours
i can't be doomed for long

i'll break one of these days
tear me apart and make me a sin
i've heard it all anyway
i know where i've been

maggots eating at me
blood smeared all over the floor
with your hands on my body
i want you so deeply

memories and failure to recover
has left me completely broken
lost and disturbed and i want
nothing else but to get to heaven

do you see me?
do you believe in me?
making everything a reality
when it all comes from my head

i believe i had reached
the end of my journey on earth
tired, accomplished what i want
seen and loved and held you like i want

i wish to die in your arms
a loving but warm death
your tears, however
keep me from fleeing