I don't know how to do it.

My mind roiled with ideas as I trudged to my room so early in the morning. It's been days since I last saw Jule . I couldn't exactly face her with the knowledge that she's probably going to vanish soon ingrained in my brain. I haven't told her about it. I haven't told her about the letter either. I just don't have it in me.

Having nothing in me would get me nowhere.

I pushed the door open, revealing the first period room I see every morning. I shuffled to my assigned seat, taking note of how similar the wooden, brown seats, the whiteboard, and the curtains were compared to yesterday.

I sighed as I plopped down my seat and stared at the peeling paint. Eugene dropped by my seat like he always does, bearing the same message like a herald. "Hey, wanna hang out in my place after Will's practice?" he said in his thick accent. "Around 6:30?"

"Not now, Euge," I said weakly, waving him away from my view.

"What the—are you alright, pal?" Euge said, bending his torso to get closer to my face. I instinctively recoiled away.

"Wh-Of course I am," I said, pushing Euge away. "When have I never been alright?"

Euge looked at me like I was growing horns. "Uh, right now? You don't look alright," he said. "You're staring into space and muttering to yourself. Also, you've never been this glum and dark since the Pineapple Incident."

"Don't talk about the Pineapple Incident," I said, shoving him off my desk. Why is he even bring that up? It's stuff from middle school. I don't even know why it was an inside joke between us. "Honestly, Euge. I'm fine."

"Does being alright include avoiding your friends?" Janice said, her voice audible even though she's still by the door. I knitted my eyebrows. When have I avoided them? They wouldn't be able to remember if I did.

Janice came by my desk and frowned at my probably quizzical look. "Come on, don't play dumb with me," she said. "Euge cares for you. That's why he's asking."

I scowled. "I answered already," I said. "I told him I was fine."

Janice snorted. "When does 'I am fine' really justify what we've been feeling?" she said. "Come on, spill."

"I..."

"Hey guys!" Aubrey's cheerful voice came from behind Janice. Oh good. Saved by Aubrey. I guess I owe her one. "What's happening?"

Janice rolled her eyes. "I'm convincing Rom to open up," she said. "He's clearly hiding something."

Aubrey raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" she said. She gave me a quick look and turned back to Janice. "Yeah, he's not alright."

I raised my hands. "Hold on," I said. "What makes you think I'm not alright? I'm fine!"

"Shut it, Rom," Aubrey said. "You're looking glum today. I've never seen you this glum since the Pineapple Incident."

Why does everyone keep going on about the Pineapple Incident?

"Oh! Are we exchanging middle school stories?" Alan's deep timber was unusually high today. " 'Cause I got some hilarious stories that I chronicled from our middle school adventures."

"God, Alan, you're such a creep," Aubrey said, rolling her eyes. "But no, we're talking about Rom and his glumness."

Alan mussed his hair thoughtfully. "Oh, we haven't seen him defeated ever since the Pineapple Incident."

"Stop talking about the Pineapple Incident!" I yelled.

My friends froze. I did as well. I never raise my voice when I'm with them. I never lose my temper either. They could be really mischievous but I usually could take it and laugh along with them. But now...

"Someone can die any minute and all you're doing is laugh!"

I realized what flew out of my mouth too late.

Janice stared at me with genuine horror in her eyes. "What did you say, Rom?" she asked.

I hang my head, refusing to meet the gazes piercing me like harpoons. "Nothing," I said. "Forget it."

Janice and Aubrey glanced at each other briefly. "Get everyone," Janice ordered.

Oh no. Not Get Everyone. I need to escape. This was bad. At least, it's going to be.

Aubrey nodded like a soldier and passed Austen who was just coming to greet her. They shared one look and headed out the door, no doubt to await Will who always came late for class.

I moved to get up when Janice laid a heavy hand on my shoulder. "Where do you think you're going?" she said, looming above me. I swear her dark eyes become darker whenever she uses that deadly tone.

"I need air," I lied.

"No, you don't, pal," Euge interjected. Seating himself at my desk and laying a hand on my other shoulder. "Clearly, something's bothering you and you don't want to tell us because you think we won't understand."

I opened my mouth to speak when Aubrey burst into the door, Will and Austen at her heels. "Got Will!" Aubrey yelled. "Tristan's probably still dozing with his poodle."

"Group hug!" all my friends yelled like an army chant. Instead of doing the traditional group hug, my friends circled me and blocked every chance of escape. It's like forming a trap made of human bodies. The faces all looked at me with eager eyes.

Why wasn't the teacher coming in yet? He should be coming in right now!

Will grinned at me from my left, his arms slung around Alan and Austen's shoulders. "I just informed the first period teacher that he has a summon from the Principal," he said. "Of course, there really isn't, but it buys us enough time to grill you for details."

I tried pushing past them but they're a sturdy wall.

Will glanced at our friends that circled me. The air turned hard to breathe because of the amount of body heat in one space.

"You know how this works, Rom," Euge said, grinning from beside Will and Janice. "Answer only the truth and we decide if it's worthy of freeing you."

"You guys. Don't go that far," I chuckled nervously. "I'm really fine."

"You mentioned someone is about to die," Janice said. "A fine person wouldn't just scream that."

Austen raised an eyebrow, glancing Aubrey's way. "Oh, someone was about to die?" he said. "That's so bad, Rom. What can we do to help?"

"Nothing—ow!" I screeched as Aubrey kicked my shin. I hissed and massaged my throbbing bone. "There's nothing you can do. It's me who should do something."

Alan nodded. He's probably recording everything with that impeccable memory of his. "What do you think you should do?"

Oh God, this was torture. I know they all care about me but this was too much sometimes. I vaguely remember doing this to Aubrey and that's what got her and Austen together. Would I...would I be forced to admit the same things Aubrey did at that time?

Good God.

I swallowed the bitter taste in my mouth. "I should make her remember again," I admitted. "I don't know how."

My friends froze at that. It was for a whole five seconds before one of them was able to process everything I've said. "Why does she need to remember, whoever that was?" Euge asked.

I sighed. I need to get out of here. The faster, the better. Just give them what they want. "She will vanish if she doesn't," I said.

"Why would she vanish?" Will asked, strangely cool and calm about all this. All my other friends have that petrified look on their faces, like they couldn't believe I've been keeping something like this from them.

"Because we're all in a loop and she made me remember. Now she's paying the price of what she did. I need to save her but I don't know how," I blurted.

My friends didn't speak. I heaved a heavy breath, hanging my head and studying Alan's faded rubber shoes. "I just...want to let her have her life back without me in it," I said, not even believing that these words were actually flying off my mouth.

How badly did I want to say them? How badly did I want to believe them?

I raised my head and met my friends' gazes. "I want to make things right even if it means I have to give up everything," I said. "I already told you it's not important—"

"Have you told her everything you've told us?" Janice said, her eyes misting. Huh, she's never the type to cry. She's against crying as it messes make-up more than anything else in the world. Yet now...

"Does she know?" Aubrey asked.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "She doesn't even remember me."

"Tell her," Will advised, his voice gentle. "Stop whining. Just go and tell her everything. I'm sure she'll understand. I may not know the whole story but before she vanishes, she deserves to hear your thoughts from you."

"Yeah, 'cause she won't be able to hear it from anyone else, Rom," Austen said, startling me. Who knows he could say something unrelated to Chemistry? "I don't understand half the stuff you're saying, but I agree with Will. You need to tell her everything before...you know."

I know that. I've been wanting to do that. I was not sure if it would work. I might not be able to make her remember, worse, I ruin her life by letting her vanish because of me.

A hand rested on my shoulder as my friends broke their circle around me. "Don't let fear stop you from doing what is right," Alan said, giving me one of his lopsided grins. "I learned that from Resha: The Sword of Destiny."

I cringed at the mention of the show title. But, I guess that's true.

"Hey guys. What are you talking about?" Tristan said as he lumbered towards us from the door. We collectively groaned. Leave it to Tristan to always show up the latest and miss everything.

I faced my friends and for the first time, I realized how lucky I was to have them. "Hey guys," I found myself saying. "I need your help."

Janice and the others did a good job in bringing Jule here. I didn't know how they did it but with Aubrey on the team, I don't have any doubts.

We're standing on the abandoned field, the inky night sky seemingly taunting me with their shiny lights and infinite lives. It's all so ironic. We felt that we have all the time in the world inside this loop when we have a deadline to beat called the reset.

I raised my head towards a shadowy figure coming closer towards me. Jule saw me. I saw her.

"Who are you?" she asked, knitting her eyebrows out of confusion. "Who are those weird people telling me to meet someone here? Who are you?"

I cleared my throat, praying to everything out there for my voice to not fail me. "Jule—"

Jule took a visible step back, her arms rising up slightly, no doubt to readily defend herself. Her stance felt like a punch in the gut. When had she become so guarded? "How do you know my name?" she asked, her tone dropping dangerously.

"We're friends," I said. "We've spent a lot of time on this very field."

Jule chuckled. "I'm sorry? I don't know who you are," she said.

"I know you do," I insisted. Call it creepy or desperate but Jule has little time left. I couldn't let any minute pass by since any second could be Jule's last. I couldn't have her disappearing without me saying anything to her.

I never truly told her how I felt even when we've talked about various things under the stars. She always did tell me. During our conversations on this field, when we would paint and sing to the stars, she never failed to show me that she's glad to have met me. She always told me that she's grateful for everything we've done together.

And I...

I never told her anything. I just kept getting and getting. I didn't realize I was slowly being filled while Jule was being emptied. I realized too late that she had been giving me something of hers for such a long time.

This was the time I returned what I didn't deserve in the first place.

"Jule, listen to me," I said, taking one step towards her, splaying my hands to show that I mean her no harm. "You need to remember. We don't know how much time you have left."

Jule recoiled, the corners of her mouth curving down in a disgusted slope. "What do you mean?" she demanded.

I sighed. This didn't make saying my piece any easier. "Once your time is up, you will vanish," I explained. "You will be forgotten. It's as if you've never even existed at all. I don't want that to happen to you. I would never allow it."

Jule shook her head, disappointed. "I'm done here."

She turned and began walking away. I cursed, balling my fists at either side of me.

I blew it. I don't know if we would still have this chance tomorrow. I don't know if there was still tomorrow with Jule. I don't know...

"Jule! Come back!" I called. She didn't look back. She wasn't stopping. No...

"Jule!" I screamed as I took off after her. I don't care if Pastor Frank went out of his chapel to silence us. I don't care if any of Jule's weird neighbors see or hear us. I need her to turn around. I need her to come back.

"Jule!" I shouted. "You still have to see tomorrow, right?"

She paused. She freaking goddamned paused.

I breathed hard. I didn't even realize I was running after her. I forced my tongue to unlatch from the roof of my mouth.

"You once told me that you wanted to see what tomorrow looked like," I continued. I don't have control over my words. It's like my heart seized my tongue and started spewing nonsense.

"You've come so close into achieving that dream, with or without me," I cried. "I don't know why you stopped but you have to continue living again. You have to resume dreaming."

Jule didn't move. She didn't even turn to face me. I caught up to her. She stood still at the border of the abandoned lot and the road. That's how close I was to losing her, to losing this chance. There was no turning back now.

"You may not remember now but I know that you're still in there, somewhere," I said. "You just can't give up, Jule. Not like this. You are stronger than this. You're better than this. You are not the type to just give up and let the heavens screw itself. You fought the rules themselves."

Jule still hasn't moved. She hasn't faced me either.

"You changed my world even though you had selfish motives," I said, choking on the memory of my emotions running wild that day. "I made a mistake of not staying when you need me the most. I'm sorry for that. I know I couldn't turn back time to relive that moment but I know I can still make it right with you."

"Because right now, Jule," I said, my voice cracking with emotion. "Right now, I will stay. Even if the world forbids me, I will stay. I will hear your voice. I will fight. I will change your world, if that's what it takes for me to make you remember everything that we've lived through."

"You don't have to be alone, Jule," I continued. "Because now, you have me. You will always have me. I never told you my real dream when you told me yours. It was never about my music and graduation. It's never about those things. I knew what I wanted and without you, I wouldn't even get close to figuring it out. You made me want to dream, do you know that, Jule?"

I stepped closer, enough to touch her hair if I extended my arm just enough. "You dream about seeing tomorrow," I said. "I want to see tomorrow too, damned as it may be."

I raised my eyes to the back of her head. I hoped she could hear me. "Jule," I said, tears now sliding down my eyes and lining my cheeks. "I want to see tomorrow with you."

For a long while, there was nothing between us but the wind and the silent song of the stars. Then she chuckled.

"You really outdid yourself this time, Rom," Jule said, turning to me with a grin.