✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* "With you, I serve

With you, I fall down " *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

- TS

⸻ 01 STEREOTYPICAL BALL CAP DISGUISES ARE A RED FLAG

"The most important part of healing is acknowledging that it happened."

It was a dreary morning in New York City, the clouds knitted together to cover the sun as they slowly drifted through the sky. It gave the world a bluish tint, creating an overall gloomy atmosphere for all those walking through it. The rain tapped on the community center window, inside Lola was currently sitting on her stool crisscrossed, her steaming coffee threatening to burn her hand through the paper cup as she looked over the broken people sitting before her. They had all come in with burdens strapped to them, weighed down shoulders and backs ready to give out from the weight. They had all come with various things piercing through their skin, each something they expected her to pull out of them, to cut the straps holding down their loads. They were some knowingly and some unknowingly putting the most fragile, kept-away parts of themselves into her hands. Lola couldn't have been more honored.

"Who can tell me something that happened? Anything." Her glance drifted over the crowd, some looking around and waiting for her to call on someone else while others just looked at their feet. A particular gentleman sat in the back, a ball cap covering his face accompanied with sunglasses. It brought questions to her mind, but for all she knew his trauma wasn't all inward, but rather could be displayed in the form of a burn or scar for everyone else to see and poke at. She averted her gaze that was soon caught by a tall black woman in the front row, slowly raising a tattooed arm. Lola gave her a gentle nod, moving to take another sip of her coffee and give the woman a moment to collect her words and thoughts.

"I went to bed last night, and I couldn't stay asleep." She swallowed thickly, examining the end of one of her braids. "I just couldn't.. because every time I close my eyes I see myself looking down at my uniform and seeing the blood spatters of a..." she stopped, voice breaking on the last word as she buried her face in her hands. "God, he was only six." She whispered, the girl sitting beside her reaching and touching her shoulder ever so gently. "He was six, and my uniform was covered in his blood."

Lola nodded sympathetically as her hand rested on her chest, her heart twisting as she could only imagine the gruesome scene, not to mention the emotional damage that came with it. The lady beside her still had her hand on her shoulder, nodding gently over at her. "I tried to go to my son's soccer game. But then the weather turned sour and it began to thunder, I thought bombs were going off." She chuckled humourlessly.

"I'm sure that was scary." The blonde sat down her coffee cup on her podium and hopped down from the seat. "The most important thing we can do is talk about our experiences with each other. By verbalizing it we're acknowledging that yes this happened. Denying and trying to pretend it didn't is like pouring salt into an open wound. This pain, while every experience is different, is a common thread between us all. Everyone in this room went off to war one way and came back a different person, and that's okay." She smiled gently as she slid her hands into her pockets and walked in front of the podium. "These wounds deserve the same attention that we give to soldiers who come home missing a leg or with a gunshot wound. Also like those wounds, they don't heal overnight and they need proper time and attention."

Her watch began to beep, signaling that it was time for the meeting to end. The blonde clasped her hands and smiled back at them. "Alrighty, I'll see you guys here next Wednesday! Feel free to mingle and enjoy the doughnuts. And if you're new and comfortable, as always come up to my little stand here and get your gift." She patted her podium as people began to stand. A couple of new faces approached her, including the tattooed woman who had told the story about the child. Lola sent a smile her way and waved, offering her hand to shake. "Hi! I'm Lola Rhodes."

"I'm Cap- Nova Abara." She moved to push her long braids over her shoulder, looking towards the window and avoiding eye contact with Lola. "Sorry, habit. Suppose it doesn't carry much weight out here."

Lola chuckled and smiled, "Colonel Lola Rhodes at your service. Medical division. If it means something to you then it carries weight out here. That's a title you've earned and one you should wear proudly if you want to."

Nova nodded, looking back at Lola before grinning. "Two army women who were commanding officers in the same room. Doesn't happen too often."

She chuckled, "I agree, I just hope one day that when women in leadership meet it's just as common as meeting a man."

"One of the best officers I've ever had the privilege of working with was a woman." The man from the back row had somehow materialized beside them, which was honestly surprising due to the fact that if she doubled her own height he'd still tower over her. The gentleman was clearly out of his comfort zone, "It's amazing to see women now moving upward like she always wanted to. Not saying that I ever thought women couldn't or anything like that. Not at all. I just think the movement, no, the progress is astounding. Compared to the fifties... or something like that.

Lola's brow furrowed as she bit her lip to contain her giggle, Nova placed her hand on her hip and looked at the man. "Honey, have you ever spoken to a woman before?"

"Yes. But every time it always comes off as I haven't." He muttered, and it was very clear it was not the first time he'd heard that sentence. He still had on his sunglasses, and his hat remained tilted downward. Lola couldn't contain her giggles much longer, the awkwardness nowhere near offensive but honestly the fact that he was trying so hard to be respectful while complimentary was very kind. She took a moment to study the soldier. His whole form read army, from the way his shoulders were angled in the perfect posture to the amazingly wrinkle-free pants he was wearing. He had a distinct look that she felt she'd seen before, but couldn't quite place.

Lola mentally shrugged it off before smiling back at him, "Lola Rhodes,  and this is Captain Nova Abara."

Nova nodded a the man, "What about you?"

"Captain. Wow." He murmured before turning back to Lola. "I heard there was a gift?" The man shifted his weight from one foot to another, nodding back to the table of white bags Lola had behind the podium. Not wanting to press him, Lola clapped and bounced excitedly over to the table. "Yes! I think you guys will enjoy these." She handed a bag to each individual. Nova was the first to open it, sliding her hand into the bag and giving Lola a view of the beautiful butterfly tattoos that ran along her arm. Out came a brown leatherbound journal, the cream-colored pages enticingly blank, something about them always made Lola was to find the nearest pen and just start scribbling out whatever she was thinking at the moment. "I want you to write down everything. Good days, bad days, nightmares, and new memories. I found through my journal that when I read back through old entries I was showing tiny signs of growth I didn't even realize at the time, like the first time I was able to sleep through an entire night, or able to step foot near a hospital. I think it'll be special."

"I think this is the most therapist gift you could have given us." Nova raised an eyebrow, a small smirk on her lips before nodding. "Thank you. I have to get pick up my girlfriend from work, but thank you."

"Of course! I hope to see you next week!" She smiled and waved as Nova exited through the large double doors, looking through her journal and flipping through the pages. Lola turned back to the tall stranger, who was looking over his own journal.

"If there's anything I can help you with, please don't hesitate to ask." The blonde crossed her arms and tilted her head, a grin on her lips. "So, what's the story? Is Clark Kent under there?"

"Sorry?" He looked up at her, and she could catch her own pale reflection in the dark shades.

"The hat and stuff. Y'know, superman?" She chuckled, tilting her head at him. "The only real-life superhero I can think of is Ironman, and let me tell you I don't think Tony Stark would be hiding his face."

"I know Superman." He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, before perking up a bit. "Did you say Stark?"

"Yeah, Tony Stark. The richest and most intelligent playboy around. Can't go on Instagram without seeing his face one way or another." She shook her head, "Course, tabloids exploded when they found the army hero they pulled out of the ice running around like crazy guy in New York City. Then again, I probably shouldn't use the word crazy. I could imagine sleeping for fifty years. War is already hard enough on its own. They caught a few pictures of his face but the conspiracy is some government agency is wiping out the proof. As someone who used to work for the government, I believe it. "

"It definitely sounds like a wild and confusing experience." He nodded, adjusting his ball cap. "Thank you for the journal, ma'am."

"Anytime. If you ever need anything I'm pretty much always available. I'm usually here or I work at the record shop around the corner. Actually, if you're secretly an ax murderer, forget I said that." She chuckled and turned to pick up her coffee cup at the last of the group tossed their napkins and cups into the trash before filtering out of the front door. The best part about overseeing a group of soldiers is they were practically brainwashed to be incredibly tidy people.

The man looked out of the window at the now dark sky, moving to pick up his umbrella from the bucket beside the door and looking back at Lola. "I could walk you to your car if you'd like, it's not a safe time for a lady to be out on her own. Not saying that you couldn't defend yourself! I know you're an army girl, I mean officer - er, commander..." he fumbled.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'll be alright. I have to put up the chairs or else the old ladies' knitting group will come after me with their needles." She shuddered, "Don't test Gretchen, she'll shishkabob you with no hesitation."

"Right." He nodded before sighing in an exasperated manner, "You have a goodnight ma'am. It was a pleasure to meet you Miss, I mean Colonel, Rhodes."He shuffled to the door, his umbrella getting caught on the way out but he managed to tug it through.

Lola watched and shook her head as she just grinned, moving to fold the first chair in preparation for the swarm of angry old ladies the next morning.

a/n

and there it is! the first chapters! i'll establish a couple before I set a posting schuedule. Love you all and thank you for your support!

- august